39. Abi
39
ABI
“Mama,” Sadie cries out as she sees me at the door and automatically flings her body into my arms.
“Heya, Sadie,” I murmur into her hair, squeezing my eyes shut against the burn of tears.
You’d think by now I’d be over crying every time my little girl refers to me as her mother, but I’m not and I don’t think I ever will be.
I’ve even spent time alone with her, with me the only adult around, without panic attacks. In fact, where Sadie’s concerned, there doesn’t seem to be anxiety anymore. It makes me wonder why I spent so much time away.
I squash those thoughts and remind myself what my therapist told me last week when I’d mentioned it to her on one of our virtual sessions. I took the time away because I needed to, so I could be the mum Sadie has now.
I squeeze her tight, then set Sadie’s feet back on the ground and step into the kitchen, expecting to see the table laid out ready for the usual chaotic dinner, but while there’s some serving dishes of food lined up down the centre of the table, there’s nothing else.
“Everyone’s in here,” Sadie says, taking my hand and leading me through into the dining room. I’ve never actually stepped foot in this room, just had glimpses of it through the door. It’s never been used for any of the meals I’ve joined the family for.
But we’re clearly using it tonight.
When Violet asked me to come tonight—it was more of her strongly suggesting I be here, rather than an invitation—she had mentioned it was a bit of a special occasion, but she didn’t say why, and I didn’t even think to ask someone about it. I should have asked Flynn.
I glance around the room, looking for him, but I already know he’s not here. He would have greeted me already. I try not to feel the disappointment. He’ll be here soon. He’s as much a part of the Austin family as Olivia herself, he’s not going to miss this special occasion dinner.
Instead of seeing Flynn and receiving one of his beaming smiles, I acknowledge who is here; Dallas is setting cutlery out on the huge wooden table, Olivia is opening a bottle of wine and Katie is lining up glasses along the sideboard.
They each say hello and we settle into our usual conversations, with Olivia asking how things are going down at the function centre and me reassuring her it’s all fine.
The second flower fiasco was handled much quicker than the first, with so many hands on deck, and the wedding itself went off without an issue, especially with the new addition of Tilly to the bar staff. She seems to have a natural instinct for customer service and managing the moods of the staff. I’m already considering urging her to get her manager’s license so she can run the entire bar for me. She’s sure easier to work with than the grouchy woman I currently use, but I’ll wait to see how Tilly goes for a few more events first.
Violet dips in and out of the conversation as she flits between the kitchen and dining room and when I hear heavy footsteps in the hallway I turn expectantly for the door.
But it’s not Flynn who steps through.
The guy is tall and solidly built. He’s wearing tidy, dark wash jeans and a charcoal grey button up shirt, the sleeves rolled to the elbows. His hair is dark blond and short. He probably shaves it himself over his bathroom sink.
Clear hazel eyes scan the room, assessing each of us.
“He’s not here, is he?” the guy asks, his tone gruff.
Violet releases a soft sigh. “Not yet,” she says, voice gentle.
“Hunt’s here!” Katie—who I hadn’t even noticed wasn’t in the dining room when this guy arrived—yelps as she steps back into the room. She grins at him, but he simply glares back at her.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Okay, apologies.” She doesn’t sound the slightest bit apologetic and the smirk on her face confirms it. “Hunter,” she says, dragging out his name with plenty of emphasis on the ‘r’. “This is Abi. Abi, this is Hunter.” Hunter, as in Flynn’s brother? “Flynn’s grumpy-as-shit big brother.”
“Hi,” I say, suddenly nervous. This is Flynn’s only family and he seems less than impressed as his gaze skims over me. He jerks his chin in greeting, then turns to Violet .
“I knew he wouldn’t go for it.”
She looks a little defeated. “I know, but I was hoping.”
Katie sidles up beside me and mutters under her breath. “Don’t be put off by my buddy Hunt. He doesn’t like anyone. Grumpy fucking bastard.”
That tugs a tentative smile from my lips. “Are they talking about Flynn?” I ask, indicating Hunter and Violet with a tilt of my head.
Katie sighs, the shit-eating grin slipping from her face. “Yeah. Do you know what today is?”
I rack my brain, but nothing comes to mind. I shake my head.
“It’s the anniversary of the day their parents died. It happened ten years ago today.”
My breath catches in my throat and my heart aches for Flynn. “And he’s not here?”
“No.” Katie’s usually wearing a grin, she’s usually joking and teasing, but her face right now is unnaturally serious.
“Mum thought he wanted to be with us to acknowledge it this year,” Olivia says, slipping into the conversation. “When she asked him about it, he seemed fine with the idea. But he’s just text me to say the planting is taking longer than he thought and he’ll let me know when he’s done.”
“He’s not coming then,” Katie says, resigned. “He can make tractor work last all night if he wants to.”
Olivia agrees, then goes to speak to Violet and Hunter. Violet looks sad, but accepting, Hunter looks … well, he looks pissed. He runs a hand roughly over his hair and turns towards the door, but Vi olet stops him with a hand on his arm. He spins on her and my heart leaps into my throat as he towers over her. I’m wondering how this is all going to play out when he suddenly deflates.
“Just leave him be,” Violet says, voice soft.
“I’m sorry, Vi,” he mutters.
“No one needs to be sorry. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve spent half my afternoon making your mother’s apple pie and I’d really like to be eating it and we have to get through actual dinner first.”
“Do we really need to do dinner first though, Vi?” Katie asks, pushing through to find her humour again. “We could just eat the pie.”
“I do like the way you think,” Violet points at Katie. “What do you think, Sadie?”
Sadie glances at Dallas, then at me, before looking at Katie and back to Violet. “Pie!”
“That settles it,” Violet says. “Dessert for dinner it is.”
Hunter rolls his eyes but follows Violet into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a stack of bowls. Olivia grabs a tub of ice cream and Violet serves up her apple pie, leaving a piece in the pie dish.
Eating dessert first feels wrong on all kinds of levels, but everyone else digs in and I lift a spoonful to my mouth.
“Oh my god,” I murmur. I want to moan but manage to suppress it when I catch sight of Hunter across the table, studying me closely. “This is amazing,” I say, turning to Violet and ignoring Hunter’s gaze.
Violet grins and holds up her own spoonful. “Isla Woods was truly the queen of the kitchen.” Her smile softens with nostalgia.
“Do you remember that peanut butter slice she made?” Olivia asks and Violet blinks away the moisture in her eyes.
“Yes,” she groans. “That was the best.”
Olivia and Violet chatter about Isla, and as the conversation progresses, their stories spread from Isla and her incredible baking, to Flynn’s dad, Trent, as well, then the memories the two families shared. Katie, Dallas and Sadie ask questions and laugh along with the two Austin women, but Hunter sits silently, barely contributing unless he’s asked a direct question. And even then, if the question comes from Katie he scowls and ignores her. In his defence, she does seem to be trying to piss him off on purpose. I have to admire her gall to do that. He seems scary enough not pissed off.
Once the pie is demolished, except for that single slice, Violet serves us dinner, though none of us are particularly hungry after the dessert.
During the clean up, I find myself in the kitchen with Katie and Olivia, who’s piling food onto a plate and wrapping it in clingfilm.
“Flynn’s almost done,” Olivia says. “Do you think he’ll come down here tonight?”
Katie shakes her head. “We won’t see him tonight. Should we take it up to him?”
“Yeah,” Olivia says.
“Do you want to take it?” Katie asks. “Or should we both go?”
I want to offer. I want to open my mouth and say I’ll do it. But no words come out, and I know this isn’t my place. I’m Flynn’s friend with benefits. His secret friends with benefits. I’m not his best friend like these two are. I’m not his family. In the whole scheme of things, I’m the least important person here.
The plate I’m loading into the dishwasher slips and crashes into another, thankfully not breaking either plate.
“You all good?” Olivia asks.
“Yep.” I nod. Then, to hell with it. I open my mouth again. “I can take the food to Flynn. You two stay here with your family.” My bravado slips away from me. “I mean, if you want, but I’m heading out anyway and …” I trail off and I feel the heat crawling across my cheeks. Fabulous. I turn back to the dishwasher.
“That’s a really good idea,” Olivia says. “I think he’d like that.”
“Rude,” Katie says. “Are you saying he wouldn’t like to see this beautiful face?” She indicates her own.
“Not at all. But you need to get Sadie home to bed anyway and Abi is on her way out.” Olivia holds the plate in one hand, then wraps her free arm around me, surprising me by pulling me in for a quick hug. She surprises me more when she whispers in my ear, so quietly I know the words are only for me. “Make sure he’s okay?”
I squeeze her back. “Of course.”