42. Flynn
42
FLYNN
I might die.
Right here, with Abi straddling me, riding my cock.
She moves her hips in the slowest, most sensual movements I’ve ever seen in my life as my hands bracket her waist, skin soft under my palms.
This is different to our other hook ups. Those have been hot and heavy, usually hurried and desperate.
But this … this is less about getting off and more about sharing this experience.
And Abi is sharing it with me.
Fuuuck. We’re having sex. Like actual sex, not just ultra-horny versions of foreplay that end in my coming way too fast. She feels amazing. Hot and tight and so incredible I have to fight to keep focussed and not simply lose myself in her.
She trails her fingertips across my face, along my jaw, down my throat, like she’s tracing me and committing me to memory.
I tell my poor deluded heart to shut up because I know what this is for Abi, and it’s not love. It’s not forever. It’s friends helping each other out.
Except I’ve ruined it all by falling in love with her.
Abi leans down, pressing her lips to mine and I push all the thinking from my brain, focussing on this moment as she lifts her hips and lowers down on my cock, over and over.
The sounds Abi is making are desperate and needy as she rides me, alternating between bouncing and grinding.
Tingles are shooting down my spine, the world spinning as all of my focus comes down to Abi and the feel of her surrounding me.
Her hair falls in a curtain around my head. She keeps her lips on me as she moves her hips and I’m so close. So, so close.
I need to come, but I need her to as well.
“Are you going to come for me, Rosie?” I whisper against her mouth.
She whimpers, then lets out a frustrated noise. Sitting up she increases her pace, but her rhythm falters. She lets out a hiss, then another desperate whimper.
“Come for me, Rosie,” I say, tone firmer this time, knowing how much she likes me in control.
She lets out a choked sob, collapsing on top of me, her body going still. “I can’t,” she mumbles. “Not like that. I’m sorry.”
Shit. Panic seizes me. She’s not enjoying this. My arms immediately wrap around her body, my hand smoothing her hair.
“Rosie, I’m so sorry.”
She pushes up onto her elbow to look down at me. Her expression is wrecked. “It’s not your fault. I just sometimes can’t get there when I’m on top.”
“What do you need?” I ask, cupping her cheek and bringing her face to mine for a soft kiss.
She slides off me and I want to pull her back, but I refrain. “Come here,” she says, lying back and reaching for me.
I roll towards her, settling between her legs. She wraps them around my waist, tugging me closer. I let out a low hum when my cock slides against her wet pussy.
“I want you to fuck me like this,” she murmurs. “I want to feel all of you.”
I blanket her body with mine and push into her. Her face is pressed against my neck and I feel her exhale ghost over my skin as I enter her.
I tuck my arms around her and hold her close.
Abi riding me was incredibly sexy. Everything about her is.
But this moment right here, this intimacy, this is what I really needed tonight.
I thrust my hips and Abi moans, pressing a kiss against my throat.
She drops her head back to the pillows and stares up at me. Our gazes lock and with long, deliciously slow thrusts, I build her up, dragging her closer and closer to the edge.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” I murmur. “Incredible. Beautiful. Determined. Brave.”
Each word causes her to tremble a little more until the last one, which sends a full body shudder through her.
Her palms press against my face and while instinct wants me to throw my head back and fuck her harder, her hands keep me grounded, intent on her.
I lose myself in her. I’m not just Flynn anymore. She’s a part of me, I don’t know who I’ll be without her.
When I can’t hold back anymore and my orgasm hits, I tumble over the edge, Abi following me right over, her fingernails digging into my shoulders, legs locked tight around my waist, eyes still on mine.
“Fuck me,” I gasp, ragged pants making me shudder over her.
“I just did,” Abi replies, a soft smirk on her lips and I laugh as I let my head fall to her shoulder, then collapse on top of her.
She drags her hand up and down my spine, the caress almost too much for my heart.
“Go clean up, then go to sleep, sweetheart,” she murmurs against my hair.
“Only if you stay right here with me.” It’s a stupid thing to say. I shouldn’t want her to stay. I should be creating some distance between us, before I blow this entire thing up in our faces with my feelings.
I’m going to have to end it before I get myself in any deeper, if that’s even possible at this point.
Our reality is that we aren’t supposed to be together. There are too many things to consider. Sadie for one and how she might feel about this. Abi was supposed to be here for Sadie and only Sadie. Yet here I am, diverting all the attention.
Plus, there’s our jobs to think about. Not that Olivia seems to have an issue with employee fraternisation. No, it’s not her I’m worried about .
It’s Katie and Dallas.
Katie and I drifted apart while she wasn’t living in Kauri Creek and now she’s back, do I want to jeopardise one of the best friendships I’ve ever had by admitting to this thing with Abi?
It’s all too much, too complicated. And I don’t do complicated. I tell myself it’s why I’ve avoided any relationships until now, because I can’t deal with complexities and emotions and the hard stuff. The fact I’ve never found someone to have a relationship with is irrelevant. I’m the good time guy. I’m definitely not the guy Abi should be relying on while getting her life back on track. She’s so close to everything she ever wanted.
I head to the bathroom to deal with the condom, then slide into bed beside Abi again.
She curls into me, expanses of her warm, bare skin against mine.
“Sweet dreams, Flynn,” she whispers to my shoulder, then presses the softest kiss there.
My arm reflexively tightens around her. “Goodnight, Abi.”
Then we sleep, both of us, so tangled up in the other I can barely tell where one of us begins and the other ends.
And I’m not just talking about our bodies.
There’s a banging coming from somewhere, but I’m too busy nestling into the delicious warmth of my bed.
“What the fuck is that noise?” Abi mutters and I let out a soft chuckle .
“Flynn! I’m coming in so you’d better make sure you’ve got clothes on.” The voice shouts from the front door.
“Okay, so that’s my brother.”
“Oh, shit.” Abi throws back the duvet, then hunts for her clothes. She pulls on her underwear, then the t-shirt of mine she’d worn last night. “I had the pleasure of meeting him last night.”
I roll out of bed and narrow my eyes at her. “Was he a dick?”
“No. Just … he’s not like you is he?”
I let out a laugh, but it’s not particularly amused. “An irresponsible idiot? Nah, not really. Hunter very much has his shit together.”
“I meant fun and happy.”
I toss her a pair of sweatpants. I’m not particularly concerned about Hunter catching an eyeful of me, but I’d rather he didn’t make Abi feel uncomfortable. She’s just tugging them into place when Hunter hollers through the door again.
“Time’s up. Hope you’re not naked.”
At least he’s prevented me from having to reply to Abi’s comment, because I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to that. She didn’t acknowledge me saying Hunter has his shit together and implying I don’t, so does that mean she also doesn’t think I have my shit together? I mean, I know I said it, but it still kind of stings. I’m too wrung out from emotions and the most incredible sex to ever happen to deal with all this today.
The door creaks as it swings open and Hunter steps inside. I’ve managed to get my own underwear on, and a pair of jeans halfway up my thighs when his gaze lands on me .
“Didn’t I give you enough time?” he asks, tone as grouchy as ever.
“I was asleep,” I mutter.
Hunter scans the room, eyes landing on Abi. “Asleep. Sure. Late night, huh?”
“Uh, I’ll leave you to it,” Abi says, folding her dress over her arm and holding it against her body like a shield. “I’ll see you later. Hunter.” She gives him a nod as she passes my brother and steps outside before I have the chance to reply.
“Why are you here so early?” I mutter once the door is closed.
“I stayed at Violet’s. You’d know that if you bothered to turn up to dinner.”
“I was working.”
“Like Vi gives a fuck about the crop. Family is what matters to her. You know that better than anyone.”
“Did you just come here to be an asshole, or did you have an actual purpose in mind?”
He sighs and runs a hand over his face, rubbing at the stubble on his jaw. “I came to check on my little brother. I didn’t realise I would be interrupting.”
“You weren’t interrupting anything. Abi’s my friend. She brought me some dinner.” And then fucked my brains out. Probably shouldn’t tell my brother that part though, even if I kind of do want to shout it from the rooftops because holy shit, it was the best moment of my life.
“I’m aware.” He talks to me like he’s talking to a child. “You think that’s really a good idea? To have her spending the night?”
“Fucking hell, I’m not a kid,” I snap .
“No.” Hunter runs his hand down his face again, a sure sign he’s exasperated. “What you do with her is your own business, just be careful. She’s got a lot of baggage, and you, little brother, do not. Don’t let it weigh you down.”
“Nothing is weighing me down. We’re friends. That’s it. There’s nothing else there.”
“Fine, if you say so.” He glances around the room, taking in the small space, his gaze lingering on Mum’s flowers painted on the ceiling. “You should get the dog.”
“What?”
“You were talking about a puppy when I saw you last. I think you should. You were supposed to get one, that Christmas. Mum and I were going to go and choose it for you …” His voice drops. “The day after the accident. Obviously we never made it.”
“Okay.” I lower myself onto one of the kitchen stools, a little dumbstruck over his revelation. Hunter doesn’t talk about our parents, not to me anyway. We don’t talk about much. He became my guardian and worked his ass off to keep our heads above water, but emotionally he cut me off, not that we were ever particularly close. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You’ve wanted one since you were six. You went on and on about every dog you ever met. Never shut up about them. Plus, it makes sense for you to have some company out here.”
“Some without all that baggage, you mean?”
Hunter sighs. “Just trying to look out for you. Make sure you’re nice to Vi today.”
“I’m always nice to Vi,” I mutter. Always. I love that woman. Without her who knows where I would have ended up, because she provided me the emotional support I needed when Hunter couldn’t.
“I know you are. I need to go, but are you alright?”
“Yes, Hunter. I’m fine. Sometimes I’m just allowed to be sad and not want to hang out with everyone, okay?”
“I know.” He gives me a look. One that says he gets it, but still wishes neither of us had to understand this feeling. “I’ll see you later.”
And after that wonderfully uplifting conversation, my big brother disappears back out my front door, leaving me alone with my feelings, and the horrifying realisation that I’ve fallen in love with Abi.
Somehow I need to get through this, ideally with our friendship, and my heart, still intact.
One thing is for certain though, I’m in over my head and I need to get out before I drown. This thing with Abi, it needs to end. It was always going to, but if I do it now at least it’s on my terms.
I just hope our friendship survives, because I don’t think I can handle losing her completely.