Chapter 23
Ilook around the yard at everyone who makes up my dysfunctional family and I can’t help smiling to myself. So much has changed over the years, I barely recognize the men who make up my club, from who they were when they first came here. Each and every one of ‘em can still be dangerous, but I never thought I’d see the day where Brax Marshall pushed a stroller, or Squealer became a one-woman man.
“Prez.” Troj’s old lady interrupts my thoughts and when I look down at her, she offers me that warm smile that”s got my Sgt at Arms wrapped around her finger. “I just wanted to thank you for inviting Theo along today.” Her eyes flick toward the little boy they’ve got staying with them in their cabin, he’s clutching Troj’s hand and still looks nervous despite him being here a few weeks now.
“Theo, is that what you”re callin’ him?”
“For now, we had to call him something.” She shrugs as she stares across at him fondly. I wonder if she knows how proud her daddy would be of her if he was still here. It’s sad to think that he left this world not even knowing she existed.
“Brian would be proud of you.” I feel the need to tell her and it makes the smile on her face grow wider. “I wish you’d known him.” The words come out, and when she looks back at me I see the tears she attempts to blink away.
“Jessie tells me stuff about him all the time, but I wish I’d got to meet him.”
“Brian spent a lot of time here, fixin’ this place up with me before he left and went to Utah, I figure that”s when he must have met your momma.” I think back to the time when me and my best friend thought we could rule the fuckin’ world.
“Funny how things turn out, isn’t it? I love the reservation and I’ll always be grateful to my aunt and uncle for raising me, but I felt like I belonged here the second I came here for help. I know you don’t believe in it, but fate led me here, and although it came with its troubles, I’m glad it did. I think he likes it that I’m here.” She rubs the stones on the necklace she always has around her neck.
“I know for a fact it’s what he would have wanted for ya, you and Jessie both got more than just his eyes, you have the same heart. Brian was a hard-assed motherfuc—” I stop myself when I remember that I’m talking to a lady. “He was hard as nails, but he cared about people, he was kind, generous, and forgiving. I see that in you and your brother every day. That, and the touch of stubbornness he always had.” I make her laugh despite her tears. “Listen, darlin’, the road that kid is on right now is pretty rocky, but he’s got this club behind him, and he’s got you and that guy over there.” I nod my head back toward Troj, who”s now crouched down and encouraging the kid to kick a ball with Thorne’s boy. “He’s gonna be okay.”
“And what about Tawk?” Shaniya, wipes the tears from her eyes and her smile fades. “He’s been through so much, first me, then Abby. We all know the reason he went to Long Beach.”
“I asked him to come home, he wanted to stay. He’s got his mind set on findin’ Willow,” I tell her what I’m sure Troj will have assured her of already.
“I hope he finds her. She was kinda crazy, but she was good for him.” Shaniya gets called away by Lydia and when she smiles at me apologetically, I tip my chin and laugh. “Go on, have a good time, and don’t worry about Tawk. He’ll be okay,” I assure her. She nods gratefully before heading off to join Lydia and a few of the other girls.
I get back to observing everyone around me. Appreciating the little things like how Jessie steals a kiss from Maddy as she walks past where he’s cooking at the grill. I laugh when my grandson flips Screwy the bird and looks terrified when he hands his beer bottle to Skid so he can chase him. It only takes the big guy three strides to get hold of him, and a scream echoes around the yard when he lifts him up and tosses him over his shoulder. I smile as I watch my daughter rescue her son from his arms and giggle with him as she chases him back over toward Nyx and Sophia. She’s happy, everyone around me is happy and I realize that this right here is what I’ve been wanting all my life. A family.
“Looks like we got company.” Hayden nods his head toward the gates at the bottom of the hill and when I see Consuela’s car coming up the track with three patrollers accompanying it, I know the time has come for me to face reality.
“Shit!” Jessie abandons the grill and moves to stand beside me.
“We need to clear the vestry,” he tells me under his breath, “We got a whole truck full of Russian fuckin’ metal in there. I knew we shouldn’t have fuckin’ trusted her.”
“She ain’t here for that.” I stare at Consuela through her windshield as she parks up in front of me, and I notice the nervous breath she takes before she gets outta the car.
“Come on, Prez, this ain’t a friendly fuckin’ visit. She’s brought back up.” Jessie looks at me blankly.
“She’s here for me.” I look at my VP and watch confusion take over his panic.
“What? No!” He shakes his head as her car door slams and she steps in front of me.
“Jimmer Carson, I’m arresting you on suspicion of intent to supply illegal drugs. You have the right to remain silent?—”
“Not like this.” I shake my head at her and glance toward Dylan. All the fun has dropped off his face. I’m grateful when Shaniya and Lydia start rounding up the kids to take them inside. Consuela closes her eyes and lowers her voice to a whisper.
“Anything you do say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” She continues as one of her officers steps toward me and takes out his cuffs. Jessie reacts by dropping him with his forehead and sending him to the ground.
“Get your fuckin’ hands off my president!” he yells, heaving his breath through his nostrils and tensing his fists ready to fight.
“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one…” Consuela takes out her own cuffs and turns me around before she snaps my hands together behind my back. “One will be appointed for you,” she whispers sadly.
“You ain’t takin’ him nowhere,” Jessie argues with her.
“Please, Mr. Donavon, I already have a reason to arrest you, don’t give me another one.” She looks at the officer who scrambles back onto his feet. “Take this as a warning.”
“Arrest me.” Jessie holds his wrists together for her. “Lock me up, because that’s the only way you”re gonna stop me. I ain’t lettin’ ya take him. We fuckin’ trusted you!” He points his finger at her face and spits out his words viciously.
Consuela looks at me and shrugs sadly.
“Stand down, Jess,” I tell him, lowering my head and hating the look he shoots back at me.
“What do you mean stand fuckin’ down? This bitch hasn’t got shit on you. You think I’m gonna let them take you in without me? Hell, no!”
“I said stand down,” I make my voice much sterner and when I glance around at my other brothers and their old ladies I see ‘em all looking stunned.
“Let’s go.” I nod my head to Consuela and let her start leading me to the car.
“Dad!” Ella calls out from behind me, and when I turn around she’s right there, tugging at my cut and looking terrified. “What are you doing?” she asks, shaking her head as Nyx comes up behind her.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I assure her, braving a smile and wishing I’d have had just a little more time.
“No, how is it gonna be okay?” She looks devastated and when I look to Nyx, he nods his head, taking her shoulders in his hands and gently pulling her away without me having to tell him what to do.
“Come on, darlin’,” he tells her softly.
“No!” She shoves him off her. “Dad, what are you doing?” she screams. “Nyx, don’t let them take him,” she begs and with a helpless look on his face, Nyx holds her tight in his arms, comforting her despite the fight she’s putting up.
“Why is he letting them take him?” She cries as he strokes his hand through her hair and forces her to stop struggling.
“I’m making everythin’ right.” I smile sadly at her, and everyone else, before Consuela puts me in the back of a patroller and slams the door.
“You”re gonna regret this,” I hear Jessie warn her as she gets into her own car and slams the door.
“Prez!” Jessie looks fueled with fire as he bangs on my window
“What are you talkin’ about, makin’ it right? What the fuck did you do?” he screams at me.
“You got this, Jess.” I nod at him through the glass, leaving him with fear on his face as the car pulls away.
* * *
“So, where ya takin’ me?” I ask the officer who’s driving when we get on the freeway.
“Sorry, Consuela said only she’s to speak to you.” He keeps his eyes on the road and I can see from the way his hand shakes on the wheel that he’s nervous.
“I thought we’d be headin’ toward Denver or El Paso.” I can sense something ain’t right from the way his eyes keep flicking up at the rear-view mirror. From what I can make out, Consuela is following close behind, and all I can do is hope that all this faith I’m putting into her ain’t gonna be another one of my regrets.
The car eventually pulls up in front of some security gates and when my driver shows his credentials to the guard manning them, they get opened so we can pass through. This ain’t no prison I’ve ever seen or heard of before, so I keep my wits about me when the car comes to a stop.
“What is this place?” I ask Consuela when she opens my door and helps me out. It looks like some kind of army barracks and it’s hauntingly quiet.
“Welcome to the VIP suite.” She smiles cleverly as she leads me toward one of the buildings and through a guarded side door.
“Consuela, you better tell me what the hell is goin’ on here,” I warn, as I do what the custody officer instructs, kicking off my boots and letting them uncuff me for a full search.
“You can trust me.” She winks, leaving me confused and uneasy as I get checked in.
It doesn’t take me long to figure out that this place is very fuckin’ different, although the guards have barely spoken to me, they’ve all shown respect. They took my cut, phone, knife, and lighter, but I didn’t have my ring or the chain I wear around my neck taken from me. The gray tracksuit they provided me with is much better quality than the scratchy ones you get in county too.
I’ve been waiting in the white-walled room for over an hour before Consuela decides to join me, and I can’t wait for her to clue me in on what the fuck this place is.
“You weren’t supposed to take me in, in front of my family.” I scowl, letting her know how pissed I am.
“I didn”t know you were having a party, for that I apologize. All this takes some organization and once I’d got the all clear I couldn’t take it back.” She takes a seat on the chair on the other side of the table and places a brown file between us.
“Yeah, well, a little heads up woulda been nice.” I keep my voice low so the audio won’t pick it up.
“I respect you, I want to help you, but don’t forget who’s in charge here.” She places a pack of cigarettes on the table beside the folder and smiles confidently. I wonder if the way I tore her clothes off back in her living room a few nights ago is playing on her mind the way it is mine.
“What is this place?” I take a smoke from the pack and slouch back in my chair, then I try not to act surprised when she tosses me the Zippo that was taken from me when I was searched.
“I spoke to my superior before your arrest, I told him that I was confident that I could make you talk,” she explains. “This is a visitation room, not an interview room, there are no cameras or audio. You, and anyone who visits, can talk freely. We can talk freely.” Her eyebrows raise almost seductively.
“You really expect me to believe that?” I laugh at her.
“Believe what you like, I’m just making you aware. If my department knew about the meetings we’d had prior to this, I’d be fired. I’m trusting you just as much as you”re trusting me, right now,” she points out, and since she seems to be talking so freely herself, I start to wonder if maybe she’s telling the truth.
“You still haven’t answered my question. What is this place?” I ask her again.
“This is where the government brings the people that they want to work with. I know how important your club and family are to you and I figured that you’d appreciate regular visits from them while we go through the process. A chance to say goodbye.” She adds that last bit so softly I barely hear it.
“Well, ya thought wrong. I made my choice and now I wanna get this done.” I light up my smoke and drag back on it. I don’t even wanna think about what the atmosphere at the club is like right now. I saw the disappointment on all their faces. They all think I’ve let ‘em down.
“You”re mad because of how this went down. I understand that but don’t waste this opportunity. To get a substantial confession from a man of your stature we get given a few weeks, make the most of those weeks.” She stands up and leaves the file, the cigarettes, and the Zippo with me. Once I finish my battle with curiosity, I open the file and laugh to myself when all that”s inside are blank pages. Blank pages that she wants filled with my sins.