Chapter 34
“Cody, did you see my purse?” Alex dumps one of the boys on my chest and he immediately starts clambering over my face and smashing the headboard against the wall.
“What time is it?” I scrub my hand over my face to wake myself up.
“It’s 8 am and Monica is meeting me down at the clubhouse to discuss the action plan.” She grabs Cohen as he races toward the door, scooping him up in her arms and dumping him in bed with me too.
“Action plan, what action plan? And how is it you know more about this than I do?” I grab a boy under each arm to hold ‘em still for just a damn minute.
“Because, unlike some people around here, I know a little about law and order.” She raises her eyebrows at me before she comes to the bed and stands in front of me. “I’ll be back in an hour.” She bends down to kiss both the boys and leaves me till last, her lips slow and seductive as they tease mine.
“You”re lucky I got my hands full or you wouldn’t be makin’ it to the clubhouse,” I warn her, watching the sexy, little smile light up her face as she turns on her heels and leaves me hanging.
“I don’t suppose you guys want a lie in?” I try my luck and when I get a fist to the face as a response I drag myself outta bed and get to work.
“Guess I better feed ya.” I carry ‘em into the kitchen. Strapping both the little ferals into their highchairs so I can make us some breakfast.
“Mornin’.” Screw lets himself in just as I’m cracking some eggs and the boys’ faces light up when their uncle takes a seat at the table in between them.
“You eat?” I check, watching Casey tugging on his uncle’s beard while Screw’s focus remains on me. “Screw, I asked if you’d eaten.” I click my fingers to snap him outta whatever trance he’s in, but it doesn’t seem to work. Something’s got him troubled, I can sense it.
“What’s up?” I whisk up the eggs and wait for him to clue me in, but instead of talkin’ he just shrugs his shoulders.
“Screw, you need to tell me what’s on your mind.”
“He can’t go into prison, not on his own.” He eventually speaks up.
“I don’t like it either, but what do we do? Prez has made it clear what he wants to do and?—”
“I should do it. I ain’t got no kids.”
“You ain’t got no kids, yet,” I correct him, knowing from what Alex has told me that Lydia is getting seriously broody. “C’mon, Screw, ya know that’s not what Prez wants.”
“It’s what he needs.” My brother makes a valid point but it doesn’t change anything.
“We all feel that guilt, Screw, we all think we should be there to protect him when the time comes, but the whole reason he’s doin’ this is so we can be with our families. You can’t leave Lydia and get yourself locked up. Hell, if I tried to leave Alex to cope with these on her own she’d find a way of gettin’ in to me and kill me herself. What we have to do is find another way.”
“Yeah, well I ain’t seein’ that other way, Squeal.” He looks distant as he takes Cohen’s hand in his and stares at it real hard.
“Don’t overthink this, Screw, Prez has given his order. We just gotta make sure he don’t regret it.”
“Lydia wants a kid,” he tells me, still looking at Cohen’s hand.
“So why ya here talkin’ to me? Ya need me to tell ya how that gets done?” I laugh at him as I stop the eggs from sticking to the pan.
“I know how it’s fuckin’ done. I’m just not sure if I’m cut out to be a dad.” He shrugs.
“Are you kiddin’ me? These boys idolize you.”
“That’s ‘cause I’m their uncle. Bein’ a parent is different. What sorta example am I gonna set?”
“Screwy, I’mma let ya into a little secret.” I pierce a juice box for each of the boys, and then one for Screw too, it”s too early in the morning for a beer, apparently. “I’ve been where you are. When Alex told me she was pregnant I was scared.”
“That ain’t a secret. You freaked the fuck out,” he reminds me, sucking on his straw and looking pleasantly surprised with how it tastes.
“Let me finish.” I sigh in frustration. “Yeah, I freaked out, but then I thought about the chance I was bein’ given. Life ain’t long, Screw, you can’t come out the other side of it with any regrets. Lydia wouldn’t wanna bring a kid into the world with you if she wasn’t convinced that you’d be a good father. She sees what everyone else around here sees,” I tell him.
“I don’t know what that is.” He looks confused.
“It’s you comin’ in here and thinkin’ you should be the one who goes inside to protect Prez. It’s that bullet wound ya got in your shoulder from where you dived in front of Nyx last year, and all those cigarette burn scars you earned yaself, from Rick, when you took the blame for me breakin’ that kitchen window with a football when we were kids. You’re selfless and that”s what you have to be when you’re a parent,” I point out to him.
“Selfless or stupid.” He looks up at me and sniggers.
“Well, you”re that too, for even doubtin’ whether you’d make a good father. Now, get up.” I drag him by the shoulders and raise him onto his feet, “And go home so you can knock up your wife.” Taking the juice box outta his hand I send him on his way then rub my hands together as I close the door behind him. “Auntie Lydia is gonna get lucky.” I fist-pump both the boys before I save the eggs from burning.
When breakfast is finished, I attempt to square up the kitchen, but the boys deciding to take a shit at the same damn time takes me away from it. Since they’ve started walking, keeping ‘em down long enough to get ‘em changed is impossible. Alex opens the door to find me wrestling to get a diaper on Cohen while Casey toddles round the room naked from the waist down.
“Wow, he’s followin’ after his daddy already, can’t keep his pants on.” Jessie manages a smile for the first time in days when he and Maddy follow Alex through the door.
“How’d the meetin’ go?” I catch my breath after I manage to get the tabs fixed down, and as soon as I let the little fucker free, he pulls them apart so the diaper drops to the floor before he runs off to join his brother.
“Whose idea was it to have twins?” I stand up from the floor noting how everyone is staring at the mess in here like it’s my fault.
“The meeting went well. Monica had some positive ideas.”
“It sucked.” VP cuts off Maddy who’s trying her best to be optimistic. “She says there’s nothin’ she can do if Prez is strikin’ a deal that’s approved by the DA, best she can do is advise that he adds inside protection to whatever they offer him.”
“So, he’s gonna do time.” I take a deep breath and think about what that’s gonna mean for the club.
“How much time will depend on how much information he gives ‘em, and to be gettin’ immunity for us all… it’s gonna be costin’ him a lot,” Jessie informs me
“What ya thinkin’, Jess?” I can tell by the look on his face that whatever it is, ain’t good.
“He’s gonna get a life sentence, the DA ain’t gonna accept anythin’ less.”
“Shit.” I breathe out heavily and swipe my hand over my face, quickly realizing that it still smells of shit and almost choking.
“And there’s nothin’ else we can do?” I’m still gagging as I quickly head to the bathroom so I can wash my hands.
“He’s determined,” Jess calls out so I can still hear him.
“And is it too late to change his mind?” I come out and see all three of them staring at me hopefully.
“Guess it’s your turn to try.” Alex smiles at me sadly. When a trickling sound comes from the corner of the room, we all turn our heads, and Cohan smiles back at me as he pisses into the oversized plant Alex’s mom sent her home with after her last visit.
“I wonder who he got that from?” Alex questions and all eyes are on me when I turn to look back at them.
“I’ll go get ready for that visit.” I lift my boy up from the floor and hand him to his mother, kissing her cheek before I rush to get changed.
* * *
The older woman on the security desk looks up from the gift bag she’s checking through with a judgmental glare before she nods her head to clear it and sends me through. Troj was right when he said this place was strange. I’ve visited many prisons in my time and none of ‘em were like this.
I place the gift bag on the table in the center of the room, waiting for the guards to fetch Prez, and as I look around the walls, I can’t help feeling grateful that it ain’t me in here. There was a time when I was convinced I’d end up inside. Me and my brother were off the rails when we left home. Getting into trouble was the only way we could forget what happened to our sister, and back then we weren’t exactly smart about it. What we did had no purpose, but that all changed when Jimmer Carson took us in.
I hear a buzz and when the door slides open and Prez steps through it, he’s looking way better than I expected him to.
“Squeal.” He nods his head and stares at the jazzy-patterned gift bag that I got on the table in confusion.
“Jess told me the rules around here were slack. I thought I’d bring ya a little somethin’. Look at it as a care package.” I wink, watching him shake his head as he pulls out a bottle of lotion and the porn magazines I stopped off to get him on my way here.
“I figured it may come in handy, ain’t like there’s much else to do in a place like this.”
“And what’s the hot sauce for?” He chuckles to himself.
“Prison food sucks, I thought it might make it a little more excitin’, just don’t get that shit mixed up with the lotion. I did it at a party once and, believe me, there ain’t no fun in that.” Prez laughs like he thinks I’m joking, then packing his gifts back into the bag he smiles at me, gratefully.
“Oh, and before I forget, this is from Monica.” I slide him a piece of paper the club’s lawyer insisted I bring with me when she found out I was coming.
“She’s pissed that you’re refusin’ to take her calls and that woman can be scary.”
“What is it?” he asks, without bothering to unfold the paper.
“She says it’s what ya should be askin’ for, not for us, but for yourself.” I don’t need to say what the risks are gonna be once he gets outta this place. Up to now, this visit has been lighthearted and I wanna keep it that way.
“I’ll bear it in mind,” he assures me, tucking the paper into his pocket and relaxing back in his chair.
“So, tell me what’s goin’ on, how is everyone?” he asks as if he’s writing some kinda fuckin’ postcard.
“Everyone’s in turmoil. Ella’s constantly cryin’, Dylan’s askin’ where ya are. Maddy and Alex are workin’ themselves into the ground to try and find a way outta this and Jessie… don’t even get me started. The rest of us… We miss ya,” I admit, starting to let it sink in that Prez may never come back to the compound.
“You remember that time when you were gonna have yourself locked away on a murder charge?” he asks me, with a furrowed brow and that clever look he gets in his eye.
“I remember.” I nod, thinking about Alex and how there was no way I was gonna let her go to prison for killing Hawker.
“Then you understand what I’m doin’ here. You understand better than anyone because you did it for your brother too. I don’t fear what will happen to me because I know I’m doin’ the right thing. Just like the time you were prepared to do the right thing by your old lady.”
“I get it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. You built our club, Prez, it’s yours.”
“And I’m damn proud of it too. I’m proud of the men it made, and the lives it changed.” He looks me up and down. “It’ll continue to do that without me.” His words put a fuckin’ wedge in my throat that I can’t swallow down. “You and your brother came to me all those years ago, chasin’ mayhem and havin’ no direction. Look at ya both, now.”
“And you took us in, never put up with our shit and straightened us out. I told you when you gave us that chance that I’d owe ya one and?—”
“You owe me nothin’.” Prez cuts me off and smiles. “Seein’ who you’ve both become is all the thanks I need.”
“You ain’t comin’ out of this, are ya?” I shake my head, realizing that this is Jimmer Carson I’m talkin’ to, a man who sticks to his guns.
“No, I’m doin’ what I have to do, and you’re gonna leave here and do somethin’ real important for me.”
“Name it.” I look at him real seriously.
“Just keep bein’ your annoyin’ self. Remind everyone not to take life too seriously, and make ‘em laugh when shit gets tough because the club needs that.”
“You got it.” I pull together a smile for him. “You just make sure you read over those terms Monica suggested, she’s smart and I don’t want this to be the last time I see you, old man.”
The smile he makes back at me puts a shiver over my skin, one that makes this situation we’re in seem very fuckin’ real.
“What you’re doin’ here?—”
“What I’m doin’ is makin’ sure everythin’ we built for ain’t for nothin’. Right now, everyone’s hopeful that there”s another way around this, but pretty soon that hope is gonna run out and that’s when you”re gonna have to be on your game. This is good for the club, you remind ‘em of that.”
“How can havin’ you locked up and in danger be good for the club?” I shake my head back at him.
“Because the club will be safe, this offers us security and I won’t have it any other way. You need to help everyone accept that. And when you’re tellin’ stories to my grandkids about me, make sure ya censor ‘em.” He chuckles.
“You should know by now that I don’t censor a damn thing.” I snigger back at him.
“It’s what I’ve always liked about ya.”
“And the agent?” I look over my shoulder wondering if she’s in a room somewhere listening in.
“You can trust her,” he assures me, and this time it’s me that laughs.
“That”s not what I was gonna ask. You know she wants to ride the silver saddle, right?” I lean forward and whisper. “Maybe ya don’t need those magazines after all.”
“Get the fuck outta here,” he nods toward the door with a cocky smile on his face that tells me that bitch has already ridden it. I get up and shake his hand before I take his order. Then just as the door opens I turn back around.
“Yo, Prez,” he looks up from the magazine he’s opened. “It’s been a journey, ain’t it?” I smile, hoping he knows how much I appreciate being with him on it.
“It sure as fuck has.” He nods back at me.