Chapter 37
“Jesus Christ, he’s sick.” Hayden shakes his head as he looks at the body that I’ve just dragged out the back of the cage. “Did he chop off his arms before he died?” He follows me, carrying a limb in each of his hands.
“With a hacksaw,” I tell him, letting the blunt I’m smoking hang from the corner of my mouth as I pull the body by its ankles toward the pit I’ve dug ready for it.
“So this is your happy place?” Hayden takes some time to look over the landscape at Sinnerman’s Quarry after he tosses the arms he’s holding into the hole.
“We don’t have to talk while we do this,” I tell him, kicking the sick fucker’s corpse into the pit and picking up the gas can. I shake the gasoline out to make sure he’s covered before striking a match and throwing that in with him. The flames pick up and so I take the blunt that I’ve tucked behind my ear and light it back up while I watch them flicker.
“Do they always smell like that?” Hayden chokes as he watches the skin blister and melt from its flesh.
“Everyone has a different smell,” I tell him, remaining focused on the body and wishing he were alive to feel what was happening to him.
I’m sure Jessie made him suffer, but nothing he could have done would have made up for what’s on this man’s conscience. I think about Rogue and how she suffered as a little girl, all because sick cunts like these can’t control their repulsive urges. She tries every day to act like it don’t affect her anymore, but every once and a while I see glimpses of that scared, little girl come to the surface. I’ve seen that even since all this shit with Prez has been happening. She’s angry at the world for the sacrifice Prez is having to make, and so am I. Jimmer has been a constant in my life since that day he found me working at a motel. The thought of the club without him doesn’t seem right, at all.
Jessie, making his way through these men, is his way of coping and I’m gonna have to find mine because I need to be strong for my girl. Rogue falling apart, ain’t an option. She’s suffered too much, and she’s the strength for too many people around here.
I continue to watch the body burn while Hayden paces the ground, having no idea how much evil there is rotting beneath his feet and we wait until all that’s left of the bastard Jessie killed is ash and bone. I start to shovel the earth on top of the body, the smoldering burns my eyes, but it’s nothing I ain’t used to.
“How’s Rogue copin’ with all this?” Hayden asks when he notices what I’m doing and starts to help. “Paige is bein’ real quiet, about it all. I think the girls are tryin’ to put on a brave face for Ella, but this is a big change. It’s gonna affect everyone. Right?” I don’t answer him, just focus on getting the job done so I can get outta here and get back to Rogue.
* * *
I walk through my cabin door to an unfamiliar smell and one helluva fuckin’ mess. Then freeze as I look around the kitchen at all the devastation that has Rogue in the center of it reading from a cookbook.
“Oh, hey.” She looks up and smiles at me. “I’m just doin’ some baking.” She shrugs her shoulders at me as if that”s perfectly normal Rogue-like behavior. There”s flour all over her clothes, in her hair, and covering the kitchen surface. The basin is loaded up with mixing bowls and when I look at the table I see all the burnt, misshapen attempts of cookies.
“Bakin’?” I can clearly see that, from the mess in front of me, but it doesn’t make it any easier to believe.
“Yeah, Grimm, baking. You got a problem?” I can tell from the tone of her voice and the aggression she’s putting into pushing the rolling pin through the dough she has on the counter that she’s had a bad day.
“No, darlin’.” I shake my head and try not to smile.
“They look great.” I pick up one of the charcoal cookies and wonder if I should risk taking a bite out of it.
“Lydia says it’s what she does to distract her, she made a batch up for all the kids earlier and gave me the recipe. I had to go around and borrow some shit from the girls, and I’ve had a few trials but I think I’m gettin’ somewhere.” I watch the way she focuses as she screws the cookie cutter into the dough, half poking her tongue out as she uses a spatula to slide it onto a baking sheet.
“You smell like dead-body-bonfire. Take it you burned up the pedo Jessie killed last night?” She uses her wrist to brush the hair outta her face and leaves a dust of flour on her forehead.
“Yeah.” I look down at the dirt and blood that’s still staining my hands and clothes. I’ll never have to hide who I am with Rogue, she doesn’t just accept me for what I am and what I do, she embraces it.
“Was he as fucked up as the last one?” she asks, starting to get frustrated when the dough keeps sticking to the counter.
“No, he just hacked off his arms.” I step up behind her and wrap my arms around her body, gripping her wrists in my hands so she stops fighting with the spatula.
“Grimm, I need this,” she tells me, lowering her head and taking a deep breath and when I spin her around and look at how vulnerable she looks, it puts a hurt inside me that only she can cause.
“No, ya don’t.” I wipe away the flour from her forehead with my thumb, leaving a greasy trail of blood and mud combined on her soft skin, and when I kiss her, I bite down hard on her lip and listen to the satisfied moan she makes.
The rolling pin falls to the floor with a thud as I lift her up on the counter, spreading her legs and placing myself between them. A few years ago, coming home to all this mess and disorganization would have sent me crazy. Living with Rogue has taught me to loosen up a helluva lot. Yeah, it still makes me twitchy, but right now my focus has to be on making my girl feel better.
She rushes to pull the filthy tee I’m wearing up my body and over my head, and I force the tight, little vest she’s wearing up over her tits and slide my hand up under it so I can grip at her throat, squeezing it just enough to make the sadness in her eyes glisten with thrill.
“You know what I really need?” She stares right into my soul, summoning the demon she knows is lurking in the shadows and I take her mouth again with mine to keep him contained.
“I need ya to make me bleed, Grimm,” she whispers, and when I pull away, her eyes are begging, almost spilling the tears they contain, and I nod my head back at her slowly.
“But not like this.” I look down at my dirty hands then lift her off the counter and carry her to the bathroom. I land her feet on the tiles and she makes it clear that she’s cleaning up with me when she starts stripping outta her clothes. Turning on the faucet, I dump my boots and dirty jeans in the corner, before taking her hand and leading her under the water. It’s a little too hot, but we both like the way it burns and as her hands slide over my body, cleaning all traces of the day I’ve had off my skin, I watch the way she does it and wonder what I ever did to deserve something so fuckin’ good. Rogue wears a steel mask, and she may be a straight shooter, but when she loves, she loves fiercely. I know everything that’s happening with Prez is breaking her heart and I also know what I have to do to make it better.
Once I’m clean she steps outta the shower and sits her naked, still-soaked body on the basin unit. She reaches across to take the cut-throat razor from the bag on the window sill and flicks it open. Tilting her head to one side she waits for me to go to her. I shut the water off and step toward her, watching the way she opens her legs and raises one of ‘em up on the counter, exposing her pussy and making my cock ache to be inside her. She hands the razor over to me and rests her head back against the mirror. Her pretty, little tits are pushed out and I take one in my hand, flicking her nipple with my thumb, while I tease the blade over her skin.
For me, it doesn’t get any more intimate than this. Rogue is offering me the ultimate level of her trust. I told her when we first started this that I never wanted her to cut herself again. When she’s upset, Rogue has no sense of control. I won’t risk her hurting herself. She knows I’ll cut her just deep enough to draw blood and release the pain inside her. She’s giving me that power, and as I kiss my way down her body and kneel between her legs I look up at her and watch the sadistic smile she makes as I take it. Carefully, I press the blade against the inside of her thigh so it slowly slices her skin open. The blood trickles from the perfectly neat cut, and I watch the relief spread over her face. I balance the razor back on the counter and slide my tongue through the incision I made. The coppery taste of her blood always makes my head spin like a fuckin’ drug and when I stand back up, I grab at her throat and draw her back up onto my lips, making sure she tastes it for herself. She reaches down and trails her finger through the blood that’s still spilling, then coats my lips with more of it ‘cause she knows I like how it tastes. I snatch at her wrist and suck her finger clean before I bite the tip of it and smile.
“I need ya to fuck me now,” she demands, rolling her hips on the edge of the counter and making sure her pussy grinds against my dick. I do as she says, wrapping her leg around my hip and letting my cock seek out her soaked, wet hole before I push deep inside her with one hard thrust. I hold myself steady with my palm against the mirror, closing my eyes and appreciating how it feels to be at one with her. Her nails dig into my back, deep enough to draw some blood of my own. But I don’t care, I’d bleed till my body was drained of it for this woman.
“Never leave me.” She clings to me tight as I roll my hips and stir my cock inside her. I feel her tears spill onto my shoulder, the blood between her legs sticking to my skin and I wonder if there’ll ever be a limit for us.
“Promise. Promise you’ll never leave me.” She pushes my shoulder back so I can see how vulnerable she is.
“I promise.” I stare right back at her and nod my head, and when she rests her head into the crook of my neck with relief, I look at my reflection in the mirror as I scrunch her hair in my hand and continue to fuck her. It’s a promise I know I can keep. Only death could part us, and even then I’d fight my way through hell to get back to her.