Chapter 38
“Of course, I’ll be there.” I hang up the phone and find myself staring at it for a while.
“Who was that?” Jasmine comes outta our room and flops onto the couch. She’s looking hot-as-fuck in the sweats she’s stolen from me.
“That was Prez, he wants me and Hayden to go in and see him, tonight,” I explain, placing my cell back in my pocket.
“You look worried.” She gives me a cute, little frown when I sit beside her.
“I’m not worried, just curious. There’s a lot of uncertainty around here right now, some brothers are acceptin’ what”s happenin’, some ain’t.”
“And what about you?” she asks, looking up at me with those big, brown eyes that have owned me since that day I first saw her standing in the rain.
“I’m angry,” I admit. For the past week, I’ve been trying really hard not to let that show. Anger will always be a part of me, but ever since Faith and Jasmine came into my life so many other emotions override it. I like how that feels.
“You”re allowed to be angry.” She takes my hand in hers.
“I know, I just don’t like who I become when I am. It’s been a while since I’ve felt that way and I’m scared to let it out again,” I confess.
“It’s just as dangerous to keep it inside, Storm, you know that better than anyone.” She makes a valid point, but right now I wouldn’t even know where to unleash it.
Jessie may have a list of men who have hurt and exploited kids but I’m staying fuckin’ clear of it. I have a daughter, a daughter who I would give my last breath for, and the thought of anyone hurting her, makes me want to do so much more than kill. Torture and death isn’t enough, they deserve humiliation and shame on top of it. If it were up to me, they wouldn’t get to die somewhere private. And that’s why I’m here at home with my girl, and Jessie’s out there making sure they can’t hurt anyone else.
“I just want to focus on the good, Jas, Prez is givin’ up a whole lot so we can do that.”
“Okay.” She blows out a breath and when she turns to face me I can sense by the way she’s looking at me that she’s nervous about what she has to say.
“Ya good?” I frown at her curiously.
“Yeah, I’m really good,” The smile on her face is as beautiful as it is cute.
“I have something to tell you.” She bites her lip.
“Well, tell me.” I find myself laughing, because despite how unfair everything seems right now her excitement is infectious.
“Okay, so you remember I applied to do that teaching course and it required me to have a work placement?”
“I remember.” I look down at my feet feeling like I let her down. She gave up on the hope of that because of her involvement with the club.
“Well, I”ve been helping out with the school runs since Addison’s been feeling sick, and I got talking to one of the kids” kindergarten teachers. Turns out the club has been helping the school raise funds for years, and she put a word in for me with the principal.”
“You got a placement?” I check.
“I got a placement,” she confirms with a huge beam on her face. “I know it’s gonna be hard, with Faith, and that a lot of the girls rely on me to help them with childcare, but I’ve spoken to them all and they’re all being so supportive. We’re gonna figure a way to all help each other out, so we all get to do what we want, and I’m gonna get to be a teacher.”
“A fuckin’ awesome teacher.” I grab her waist and hoist her onto my lap.
“That’s the best news.” I cup her ass in my hands and force her even closer.
“And you don’t mind that Faith will be being looked after by some of the others?”
“Why would I?” I shake my head and laugh at her. “You deserve this, you’ve put up with so much and now it’s your turn to get what you want. You’re gonna be so good at this. And, of course, everyone wants to help. It’s what you’ve done for them since ya came here.”
“I’m excited and I feel bad for that right now, with everything that’s going on.”
“No. Don’t do that, you can’t feel bad for somethin’ good happenin’. Come here.” I pinch her chin between my thumb and finger and pull her onto my lips.
The sound of Faith banging one of her toys against the wall lets us know she’s woken up from her nap and makes us both laugh.
“I’ll get her.” I kiss Jasmine one more time before rolling her off my lap and dragging myself up off the couch.
Seeing the beam on my little girl”s face when she sees me never fails to make my chest fill with warmth and when I lift her outta her cot and take her back into the living room, she immediately stretches her arms out to go to Jasmine. I hand her over, watching her smother her in kisses, and seeing them so happy together makes everything I’ve suffered in the past seem irrelevant. These days I live for the future and that”s exactly why I refuse to let anger consume me.
“Did you know Mommy’s little secret?” I ask Faith as I lean over the back of the couch and let her pull at my nose.
“Mommy?” Jasmine looks over her shoulder at me with a shocked look on her face.
“She’s startin’ to say little things now, what else is she supposed to call you?” I laugh at her.
“I don’t know, we never really spoke about it.” Jasmine still looks shocked.
“Ain’t nothin’ to talk about, you”re her mom.” I can’t let myself think how different things could have been for my little girl if she was still with her birth mom. Yeah, club life can be tough and some may judge us for raising a family among it, but I can guarantee that my daughter will always know what it feels like to be loved.
“Of course, but there are things we need to figure out, when she’s older she’ll have questions.”
“We’ll figure out how to answer them when we get there, but you”re always gonna be her mom, Jasmine. The way you take care of her and hold her when she cries proves that.”
Jasmine nods at me and smiles.
“And who knows, given some time, maybe she could be gettin’ some brothers or sisters.” I shrug as I make my way into the kitchen to pick up my cut.
“You mean it?” Jasmine beams as if it’s something that”s been on her mind.
“Of course, I mean it, but I also realize that I’m lucky to have what I have. Right now, you gotta focus on bein’ the person you wanna be and me and Faith are gonna be right behind ya. Ain’t that right, baby girl?” I wink at my smiley-faced daughter.
“Get out of here before you make me cry.” Jasmine tosses one of Faith’s stuffies at me and I manage to dodge it as I grab my keys and head out for my bike. Screwy tips his chin at me as I pass his cabin and see him sitting on his porch step. I don’t stop to speak, he looks deep in thought and right now all the brothers need their space to get their head around what’s happening.
I try Hayden’s cabin door, and when I get no answer I head down to the club. Eventually, I find him in the barroom with Paige sitting on his knee
“We’ve been called,” I call out to him.
“Called where?” He sits himself up and puts out his smoke in the ashtray.
“To see Prez,” I explain watching him start to look as curious as I am. “Come on, we’re ridin’ out there now.”
Hayden nods back at me, still looking confused as he kisses his girl and comes toward me.
“You know what this is about?” he asks as we saddle our bikes.
“Not a fuckin’ clue, but I guess we’ll find out.”