Chapter 24
I got to the bench behind the community center first. Aside from it actually being quieter, getting here first had been why I’d picked it. That way, if he spotted me and didn’t want anything to do with me, he could just leave. We wouldn’t have to face this. Not if he didn’t want to.
I sat down. But maybe that was weird, because now I was facing away from the direction he’d come. He’d only see the back of my head, which was currently covered by a hat. He wouldn’t know it was me.
So I stood up and faced the festival area, but that was even weirder, so I sat down again.
And then I didn’t have time to second-guess myself anymore, because shoes were crunching up the path in the familiar cadence of Grayson’s long stride.
Should I look back? Or stare straight ahead at the mountains like I didn’t hear a whole person walking up behind me?
This wasn’t supposed to be the hard part!
Then, Grayson sat down next to me. And like a total weirdo, I stared straight ahead at the cloud-streaked mountains. My heart was pounding as I wondered what this meant. Did he recognize me? Was he okay? What was he thinking?
“Hey, Virginia.” His voice was soft, but I didn’t miss the slight shake in the way he said my name. “I don’t want to make it awkward, but I’m supposed to meet someone.”
Oh gosh, he hadn’t figured it out. He thought I was just here minding my own business. Like someone who was really interested in the horizon.
I pressed my hands to my knees like that could hide the trembling. “You’re meeting me.”
“At one o’clock?”
“No. I mean yes, maybe. I guess we’ll see.” Come on, mouth, I thought. Work with me, for once. I tried again. This time, I made myself look over at him. He was completely still. “You’re meeting me,” I repeated softly.
He swallowed hard. “When?”
“Now.”
Superposition collapsed all around us. The box was open. And the cat …
“I thought so.” His voice was barely audible, even with the festival sounds muted. He stood up. “I—I need a minute.”
“Okay.” I looked down to hide my face. A dull roar surged through my ears as I whispered, “I understand.”
When I was certain he was gone, I pulled my heels onto the edge of the bench and buried my face in my knees.
It felt like losing him all over again, because now he wasn’t just angry with Past Me, the one who’d said those horrible things, but Present Me. The one who’d hidden the truth. The one who’d kept talking to him every day even though I knew he wouldn’t have if he’d known my identity.
He might have forgiven Past Me. That had been a mistake.
But Present Me? That deception had been deliberate. At least as far as he knew.
I considered texting someone to come get me, since I definitely wasn’t fit to work the library booth now, and it didn’t seem wise to walk home.
But just as I was mustering the energy to dig through my purse, the bench creaked beside me as Grayson sat down again.
He was warm. I could feel his heat against my arm.
“You came back?”
“Yeah. I just needed to think.” He cleared his throat. “Plus, it was time to meet you … again.” He flashed the lock screen on his phone.
It was already one? Ugh, no wonder my stomach felt hollow. I was sad and hungry.
“How long did you know?” he asked.
“When you sent me the screenshots. That’s when I figured it out.” I lowered my feet back to the ground and wiped my face on my sleeve. “I wanted to tell you then. I swear. I tried. But—”
“I told you to go away.” He nodded to himself, staring into the distance.
“I didn’t know. Not for sure. But I was starting to suspect—especially yesterday, when your sister had all those obviously hand-woven scarves in her car.
And then last night I saw your cat in the window.
I couldn’t tell for sure that she was the same tortoiseshell I’d been seeing pictures of, but I thought she was. ”
“She’s unforgettable, it’s true.”
“I’d like to meet her sometime. If that’s okay. If she would consent to my presence in her palace.”
I faced him fully. “Is Lady Zooms-a-Lot the princess in your book?”
Grayson snorted. “What? No! You—” He blushed and looked down. “I’m trying to tell you that I get it. I understand why you didn’t say anything, once you knew. I mean, you couldn’t, at first. And then … I see how it would have felt impossible after that.”
I closed my eyes and let out a long breath.
“I still want to be your future best friend,” he said quietly. “If you want that, too.”
“Yes.” I shivered. “I do.”
He reached toward me, his fingers brushing mine. “Can I hold your hand?”
“If you don’t mind that I wiped my face and now my hands are covered in shimmer.” I turned my palms up. They were very, very shiny.
Grayson hesitated, which was totally fair. Then he took my hand in his and squeezed. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“I thought I already knew all your secrets.”
He smiled a little. “Do you remember when you asked if I had a girlfriend or boyfriend? And I said no, but I liked a girl from school?”
“I was so pleased that you liked girls.” My voice was thin. “I thought I had a chance. If, you know, we ever stopped being anonymous.”
“Right.” His cheeks were flushed. “Well, that’s good.
Because I was talking about you. I always noticed you, Virginia.
I’d just been too scared to say anything.
And then we were talking. And then …” His voice dipped.
His hand tightened around mine. “I don’t think your texts would have bothered me so much if we hadn’t finally become friends.
You didn’t say anything that other people hadn’t already said. ”
“I shouldn’t have said it at all. I don’t care about those things. Your clothes, your parents’ jobs. They don’t matter to me. Only you matter to me.”
His chest rose and fell with a sigh. He let go of my hand.
“I know. I’ve thought about it a lot. The things you said when we first started talking just didn’t line up.
And when I heard you standing up to Kat and Mary Heather yesterday, I …
I understood. You were just trying to survive a really unhealthy friendship.
And, you know, I didn’t handle everything perfectly with you, either.
I should have let you talk to me about the texts. ”
“I’m not friends with them anymore,” I said firmly. “And I’m not going to be. Ever.”
“And Jess?”
“We’re okay. She feels the same about everything that happened.”
“That’s good,” he said. “I always thought she was nice.”
“She’s the one who encouraged me to edit that one photo. The one that started all this.” I pressed my mouth into a line. “Do you want to see it?”
“Do I?”
“It’s a picture of you. I really like it, but I don’t know how you’ll feel. I can delete it if you want.”
“I want to see.”
I fished my phone out of my purse and opened the “Cardinal’s Eyes Only” album. After a nanosecond of hesitation, I scooted closer to him and passed him the phone.
The first photo was the one with the fallen books. When he’d looked at it for a minute, his face unreadable, I swiped to the second photo, the one with the red leaves and him walking in the distance.
“Wow.” He flicked between them. “Can you imagine if you’d sent these to me?”
“I think you would have been rightfully freaked-out. You can look through the others if you want.”
For a few minutes, we just sat quietly together, his arm pressed against mine, while he studied the photos, some of him, some of my sister, even a couple selfies of me. “I like them.” He gave my phone back. “I’m glad you kept taking pictures, even if your first one started a fight.”
“You made me feel like I could do it.”
He took my hand again. “I need to go in a little while. I promised my mom I’d help her pick out her first-day-of-work outfit. And then I’d let her take me shopping. I guess she saw your texts before Scrollr took everything down. She felt bad.”
My face was basically on fire now. “Is she mad at me?”
“Not really. We talked about it last night and she said she gets it.” He shrugged. “She did offer to take me shopping over the summer, but I said no. She was so stressed about money I didn’t think we could afford it. Last night I got a lecture about asking for stuff I need.”
“She’s right. You should ask for things you need. Let her be the one to decide what’s too much. That’s not your responsibility.” My brain went back to the other thing he’d said. “But she has a new job now?”
“Yeah.” Grayson smiled. “She just told us last night. It’s with a renewable energy company. She’s really excited.”
“Good. Are you going to try football again? Or whatever sport is next?”
“No.” His cheek rested against the top of my head—just for a moment. “I’m going to take an art class.”
“I expect to see everything you draw.”
He twisted and looked down at me, a smile pulling at his mouth. “Oh, do you? What makes you think—”
“We’re best friends now. Getting a first look at your art is a best-friend privilege.”
He was absolutely still for a moment, looking at me like he was working himself up to something. And then, quietly, he asked, “Then what would your girlfriend privileges be?”
A frisson swept over me.
Girlfriend.
I lifted my eyes to his. “If you’re asking—”
“I am asking,” he said quickly.
“The answer is yes.” Boyfriend rules would definitely be a topic at dinner tonight, but I was pretty sure Mom and Dad would be just fine with this.
They knew what Grayson and I had been through.
They’d probably be relieved. And Victoria?
Oh, she was going to crow about this for the rest of our lives. “It’s a thousand times yes.”
A smile bloomed across Grayson’s face.
“And,” I said, “as far as girlfriend privileges, I would expect you to continue reading your story to me. You’d also have to meet Zooms and get her approval to court me, of course.”
“Of course. That’s all very reasonable.”
“Finally, I hope that sometime”—I glanced at his mouth, still turned up in that warm smile—“although it doesn’t have to be now, maybe you’ll want to—”
“But can it be now?” His throat jumped. “Because I really want to.”
“Gosh, yes.”
I turned my face up. He bent. And we kissed.