38. Scarlett
A s the plane hits the tarmac and rumbles towards the terminal, I’m both relieved and sad to be back.
Rachel is out of her seat quicker than a rabbit out of a magician’s hat, dragging our carry-on’s down from the overhead locker.
Standing, I stretch and cover a yawn with my hand.
The flight has been short but it’s late and I’m tired, and my bed is calling to me.
We somehow manage to sail through passport control and are standing in the taxi pick-up point within the hour, waiting for the Uber Rachel booked the minute we stepped into the airport terminal.
Rachel insists on dropping me home first, so as I make my way up the front garden path, I blow her a quick kiss and wave before I turn and unlock the front door.
Hyper aware of the time, I tiptoe up the stairs, avoiding every memorised creaky step from my childhood, and into my bedroom, praying the door doesn’t squeak as I ease it shut.
The last thing I want to do is wake my parents, I’ve missed them so much, but there’ll be plenty of time for to catch up in the morning.
Foregoing a shower, I drag clean pyjamas out of my drawer and put them on, then I climb into bed.
My phone beeps with a message notification, it’s Rachel telling me she’s home safe.
Instantly, I tap out a quick response.
Thanks for a fab holiday.
We should make it a yearly thing, our thing xx
And then I switch my phone off and snuggle down under the duvet.
It’s not long until sleep drags me under.
It’s not long until I’m dreaming of being back on the beach, sipping on cocktails and dipping my toes in the water.
The smell of hot, buttered toast drags me from the depths of my dreams and I turn over in bed to find my mum trying to sneak back out of my room quietly.
“I’m awake,”
my voice is sleep heavy as I push myself up to sit, and reach for the tea she’s also brought me.
“Thank you, I’ve been craving a good cup of tea for days.”
The hot, sweet tea tastes like heaven as it soothes my sleep dried throat.
“You’ve caught the sun, it’s brought your freckles out,”
Mum points out before she reaches in for a hug.
My freckles have been the bane of my life since forever.
Tom and Jamie used to tease me so much about them, Tom even tried to join them up with a pen once when we were little, I looked like a dot-to-dot picture gone wrong.
I remember Mum being really cross with him as she spent hours scrubbing the ink from my face.
“I’ve missed you.
Did you have fun?”
There’s a moment of nodding as I cram toast into my mouth.
“Good, well I’ll leave you to get up when you’re ready, no rush,”
she says as she gets up to leave.
“But your dad is struggling with the crossword.
In fact, I don’t think he’s finished one while you’ve been away.”
Mum chuckles as she closes the door and heads downstairs.
I have every intention of getting up but the tea and toast is too good, and my bed is too comfortable.
And somehow, sleep envelops me again as I slide back under the duvet.
Unsure of how long I’ve been asleep, I’m jolted awake by raised voices coming from downstairs.
“No, I’m not going to wake her just because you want to talk to her.
She didn’t get in until very late last night,”
my dad’s voice is firm, but I can hear from his intonation that he’s not happy.
“But she’s not answering my calls, I just want to see her and apologise.
Please, don’t make me beg.”
Recognition hits instantly.
It’s Jamie.
He sounds frustrated and upset, and my heart twinges a little.
There’s a moment’s contemplation where I feel I need to rescue my dad and go speak to Jamie, but that’s soon quashed when my dad speaks again.
“Look son, you know we love you like one of our own, but the way you’ve treated my daughter has shocked me.
You’ve let us down, Jamie, lad.”
My dad pauses for a moment before he carries on.
“I thought better of you.
We expected better of you.
I told Julia our girl would be safe with you, that you’d look after her and not break her heart.
I couldn’t have been more wrong, could I?”
I’ve crept out of bed now and I’m perched on the top of landing, just out of sight, but I can just about see Jamie in the kitchen doorway from this angle.
He looks ashen, his features are pinched and tight, and he’s rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
He opens his mouth to speak but thinks better of it.
“I’ve never been one to interfere in my children’s lives, but you understand why I won’t go get her, don’t you? We’ve lost one child; I am not about to let you break the other one.”
There’s and audible gasp and I’m unsure whether it came from me, Jamie or my mum, who’s now appeared beside my dad.
“Now, if she’s not answering your calls, I’d take that as she doesn’t want to talk to you.”
Dad takes a step forward, his hand firmly gripping the door handle.
“Maybe she’ll forgive you in time, if you’re lucky.
But for now, leave her be, let her get on with her life.”
Slowly, my dad inches the kitchen door closed, shutting Jamie out of the house.
Dad turns to my mum, and she falls into his arms with a sob.
“It feels like losing Tom all over again,”
my mother speaks through broken tears.
“I love that boy, so much.”
Dad huffs as he rubs his hand up and down Mum’s back.
“So do I, but he’s hardly a boy now, he’s an adult, and he needs to know the boundaries and accept responsibility for what he’s done to our daughter.
I couldn’t protect Tom, but I can protect Scarlett, and you can rest assured that’s what I’m going to do until I take my last breath.”
I sit and watch my parents hold each other for what seems like an age, before I creep back to my room and cry a little.
For Tom, for me and for my parents.