Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Bliss collapsed onto the well-worn sofa after she finally got the babies all down. She wasn’t sure how long Nori would sleep, but usually she had a good hour and a half. She’d been fussy all day. She couldn’t be teething already, right? She was only two months old.
Her entire body ached with the deep exhaustion that came from living on little sleep and constant worry. Some days she felt like she’d been awake since the moment the girls were born.
With all her daughters asleep, it would be a good time to clean.
She glanced at the kitchen counters, cluttered with too many bottles that needed washing.
Then over to the basket of dirty clothes that needed washing and hanging on the clothesline outside.
She appreciated Winnie letting her rent her cabin, but holy time travelers, a dishwasher and a dryer would have been nice.
Unable to help herself, her eyes then slid to the basket of goodies Winnie had given her the day before. Her sister really was the best. She’d put together a Christmas-themed pampering Bliss basket, and it was begging to be used.
The basket overflowed with peppermint lotions, candy-cane bath bombs, fuzzy socks, and more Little indulgences than Bliss had allowed herself in forever. She’d even included a sleep mask for Tipsy!
Her Mary Poppins angel agreed. There are elements of fun in all the work that’s to be done. The prim little voice in her head sounded smug and practical, floating above her shoulder with umbrella and carpetbag.
Mary Poppins was correct, as always. Bliss was down to her last two work outfits.
Laundry really should come first. With a sigh, she headed for the laundry basket.
All set to be productive, she was about to grab the basket when her Miranda Lambert angel started singing something about being drunk and not wanting to go home.
That was an obvious vote for having some fun for once. If she even remembered how. Miranda lounged on her other shoulder in an imaginary denim and sassy pants attitude, clearly unimpressed with the idea of chores.
That was one vote for work and one for fun. The only vote left was Bliss’s. Like there was really a contest. Chores could wait. It was time for some pampering.
Heating her mug of hot chocolate for the fifth time, Bliss pulled her hair back from her face with the hairband adorned with lighted deer antlers. Next, she grabbed the green mud mask from the basket and slathered it all over her face.
It smelled like peppermint. The cold, tingly mask made her nose wrinkle, but it also made her feel, at least for a few minutes. Maybe it would even help her act like a normal woman instead of a sleep-deprived milk machine.
While her face mask dried, she applied the first coat of bright-red nail polish to her toes and wedged the toe separators in place.
She was halfway through the second coat when a sharp rap on her front door had Bliss jumping up to stop the noise.
If whoever it was woke up her babies, Bliss just might kill them.
No jury in the world would convict her, especially a jury of women.
She slowed her pace when she realized it must be Winnie.
Bliss heel-walked—toes angled toward the ceiling, hands held out for balance, fingers spread wide so as not to smudge her fingernails—to the door.
She had the most thoughtful sister in the world.
Winnie always did things to make her feel special.
The red glow on the wooden floor revealed her antlers, which blinked cheerfully as she shuffled across it.
Bliss opened the door. “Hi, sis! I can’t believe Reid let you—”
Connor stood in the doorway, eyes twinkling, lips twitching. “Nice antlers, Trouble.”
Bliss’s entire body flashed cold seconds before waves of humiliation washed over her. “Connor! What are you doing here? Go away!” Before he could say anything else, she slammed the door in his face. The sound cracked through the small house like a gunshot.
She leaned back against the door in case he decided to walk in on his own.
Like her leaning against the door would stop him.
She glanced around at the disaster that was her house.
Served him right if he was going to stop by unannounced.
Toys, bottles, baby blankets, and half-finished craft projects had taken over every available surface.
She snatched the blinking neon antlers from her head and tossed them on the nearby table, trying not to cry.
With a groan, she leaned forward and buried her face in her hands.
That was when she remembered the mud mask she’d smeared all over her face.
Shrieking, she dashed to the kitchen sink, half-blind by the mud she’d somehow gotten in her eye. Man, that burned.
Since she couldn’t see where she was going, she kicked over the end table she’d shifted when she’d been cutting out paper snowflakes earlier.
It toppled over, sending her and the lamp sitting on the table crashing to the floor.
With a howl of pain, she clutched her now throbbing toe.
The lamp shade rolled across the floor, escaping the chaos as best it could.
Eyes wide, she covered her mouth with her hand, but it was too little, too late.
Frightened baby cries rang out from the bedroom, three different wails layered together, and it took all she could do not to join in.
She was going to stab Connor Davis through the heart with the popsicle stick on the coffee table.
Connor barreled in through the front door and ran to her side.
“Baby, are you okay? Here, let me see.” He took her foot in his hands and gently tugged the toe separator from her foot.
He inspected it, running careful fingers over each bone.
“I don’t think anything’s broken. What were you doing racing around on your heels with those foam knuckle things between your toes? ”
“How do you know I was racing around?” Was he Superman or something, able to see through solid walls?
“I don’t have to be Superman to look through the window, Trouble. And we’ll be talking about you not closing your curtains at night. But it sounds like you’ve got other people who need your attention right now.”
Was it her imagination, or had his voice softened at the sound of the babies crying?
Her gaze shot to the closed door leading to the bedroom. The babies had gone from crying to howling. Pushing to her feet, she hobbled that way, but Connor grabbed her arm.
His muttered, “Hold on,” was all she got before he boosted her up in his arms and carried her to the counter next to the kitchen sink. The sudden lift stole the breath right out of her.
“Let’s get this… this whatever this is, off your face.” He pulled out a rag from the nearest drawer and held it under the tap. Once it was wet, he used it to wipe the mud from her face. She flinched away until she realized the cloth was warm, his touch surprisingly gentle.
As he dabbed at her cheeks, she wondered: What would it be like to have a real Daddy who would look after her like this?
His long fingers were thick and calloused, but he held her as if he were afraid she might break.
She’d give anything if he could be her Daddy.
But the cries from the bedroom were a clear reminder of why that couldn’t happen.
It broke her heart. Connor would be a great father.
Since she’d learned about his childhood, she understood.
But it was still sad. She needed to remember he wouldn’t want to be in the life she had now.
She needed to draw a line between them. If he kept dropping by like this, her heart was going to get broken. Again.
Taking the rag from him, she finished the task of cleaning her face. “What are you doing here? It’s kind of late.”
“I called you over an hour ago to tell you I was stopping by like I said I would last night. You didn’t answer your phone, so I left a message. Didn’t you get it?”
“What message?”
His brow got that crease in the middle, right between his brows. “I left a message to call me if it wasn’t convenient. Is your phone charged up?”
“Yes.” She had charged it. But she put it on silent when she was getting the babies down for their nap that morning, and now she couldn’t find it. But he didn’t need to know that. Or that it was probably buried under three blankets and a pack of diapers somewhere.
“You said you needed to tell me something. So, I stopped by to hear what it was.”
“That was last night!” she whisper-yelled, arms stiff by her side. She stomped her foot for good measure.
Last night they’d been around family and friends. There were people there in case he got mad. Now, it was just the two of them. She wasn’t sure telling him now was a good idea. Not that he’d hurt her or anything. But he might want an explanation.
What if he didn’t like what she said? Hope flared in her chest at the thought. Maybe when he found out about Nori, he’d realize he’d been wrong before. Maybe he’d decide he wanted kids of his own. Maybe.
He helped her down from the counter and walked with her to the bedroom. “Do you need any help? With getting them settled back down, I mean?”
“I think I can do it,” she responded, letting him off the hook. He didn’t want to hold them. And she wasn’t ready to see him hold them, then walk away. Again.
It took only seconds to see that Nori was the most upset. “Poor baby,” she crooned at her youngest as she lifted her from her crib. “Did I scare you with all that noise? It’s okay.”
She could probably get the twins settled back down if she could get Nori out of the room. “Hold on, you two,” she said. “Let me put your sister in her bouncy seat, and I’ll be right back.”
Bliss walked into the great room with Nori. Connor jumped to his feet from the armchair. “Is she all right?” He looked almost panicked, but Bliss didn’t dare smile.
“She’s fine. I just need to put her down out here while I settle the twins. You sit back down, and I’ll be right back to tend to her.”
She’d have been afraid to leave her in the room with Connor if he hadn’t looked so terrified. There was no way he’d go near Nori until she could get back. She’d hurry because the last thing she needed was for Connor to figure things out on his own.
Racing back to the bedroom with Connor’s, “Don’t run!” chasing her, she put on the nightlight that played calming music and settled the twins back down to rest. It couldn’t have taken more than five minutes. Five minutes of whispered lullabies and gentle pats, then she could send him on his way.
She knew something was wrong the second she didn’t hear Nori crying. Tiptoeing out of the bedroom, she took one step into the great room and froze. Connor was no longer seated in the armchair. Not even close.
Connor stood beside the now-empty bouncy seat with a contented Nori cradled in his arms. Bliss sucked in a breath. He was holding his own daughter and didn’t even know. She had to tell him, but now that the time was here, doubts bombarded her.
What had she been thinking? Her heart began pounding in her ears.
She listened for advice from Mary Poppins and Miranda, but her shoulder angels had deserted her. All she heard was Mary Poppins inviting Miranda to go fly a kite with her. Then they disappeared in shimmering puffs of smoke, leaving her alone with Connor and Nori.
That Connor looked stunned was no surprise. He stared at Nori with his bright amber eyes, the ones he’d passed down to his daughter. In a voice whose volume belied its tone, he demanded, “Last night you had something to tell me. You want to do that now?”
Her mouth went completely dry, and her stomach dropped all the way down to her toes.
Wrapping her arms around her like armor, she tried to explain.
It took three tries before she got the words out.
“I don’t expect anything, I promise. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to feel trapped.
I know you said you were never going to have children. I know that hasn’t changed. I…”
Oh, god. This was terrible. He was going to hate her forever, and that was the real reason she hadn’t told him.
She was a coward. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.
All because of a day and a half that happened almost a year ago.
But it was the best day and a half of her life, except for when she got her girls.
And now it was over, and there was nothing to do but face the music. “I thought you should at least know that you have a daughter.”
Hope flashed in Connor’s eyes, only to be extinguished the next second by rage. “I do not have a child. I told you I never would, and you’re right, that hasn’t changed. Now I’d appreciate it if you’d come get your daughter.” His voice had gone cold and hard as steel.
The words shot through her chest, piercing her heart like bullets. Silently, she crossed to him and took Nori from his stiff arms.
Without a word or so much as a backward glance, Connor spun on his heel and stalked out. The front door slammed hard enough to rattle the windows.
Bliss hugged her daughter to her chest and whispered words of love as the tears ran unchecked down her face. And for the first time since she’d arrived in Darling, the house felt unbearably, heartbreakingly empty.