25. Tennant
I should have guessed that my Baby Mouse is fucking sadistic when it comes to his work. I just never expected him to match fucking Jayden in the sadistic type of torture they claim is physical therapy.
I do feel for Emilio, as he has the rougher end of the stick, being more injured than I am. Doesn't mean I'm off the hook, though I'm sure some of it is simply because Jayden knows I'm plotting his demise.
They leave us cooling down on the mats, while they both retreat to a corner of the physical therapy room Jayden took over a few years ago.
“Sit there and behave,” Jayden says. “We'll take you back to bed in a minute.” Then he ducks his head and begins going over notes with Benjamin.
If I thought I could get off the floor without assistance, I would already be gone. I'm not too proud to crawl as it is… At the moment though, I am too fucking worn out to do anything more than flip the bastard off when he turns his back.
The silence between Emilio and I is…tense. Not something I ever expected, considering how much we have in common. Not as much as he does with Roman, but enough that I’ve always looked forward to our interactions. Now though…
“How many times have you imagined killing me?” I ask quietly.
I feel him glance at me, but I keep my attention on our torturers—mainly Benjamin. I enjoy the way his scrubs complement his skin, and how his hands move as he explains something to Jayden. His dark hair is neatly combed, and my hands itch to mess it up.
“More than you probably think,” he admits. “I need him safe, Ten, and yet I keep failing him. So yeah, you and Ignacio have starred in a few of my murder fantasies.”
In any other situation, I’d ask who starred in his non -murder fantasies, but this is something I have to do, not only for my Topolino, but for Roman and Hollis as well, since they both love the tiny psychopath in different ways.
“He is probably the safest person in this house,” I tell him. “Between you and me, no one is going to hurt him ever again.”
“ You already have!” he says with a growl, loud enough that Benjamin and Jayden spare us looks.
I wave Benjamin’s concern off, and give him a smile that I hope conveys everything is okay. He doesn’t look like he believes me, but Jayden diverts his attention again.
“I did,” I finally acknowledge. “I hurt him, could have killed him, but I was not at my best in that situation. That is no excuse, but it is the truth. I didn’t kill him, though.
Whatever baser instinct that lives inside me, whatever it is that allows me to blend in and function as a normal member of society, it saved him. ”
Emilio sucks in a harsh breath, but before he can make another outburst, I continue.
“I almost killed Hollis once. The scar is still very noticeable, though it’s starting to fade a bit, blending in with his skin.
He was closer to death than Benjamin ever was, and yet he still stays.
You’ve been with Hollis enough times now to know he wouldn’t be with me if he thought I was any danger to him or Roman or Jude.
He is the possessive one here, the one that needs to be in control, and he hates when someone marks what’s his. ”
Glancing at the bruises that are still very obvious on Emilio’s face, I tell him, “You’ve now had firsthand knowledge of how he feels when someone touches what’s his.
He once killed a college student for thinking he had the right to feel Roman up.
So, if Hollis, someone so possessive and controlling, can not only forgive me for what I did to him, but trust me to never do it again, or to hurt our other lovers, why can’t you?
Benjamin made his choice when he stayed.
If you refuse to trust me now, you can at least trust him. ”
He scoffs. “I trusted him before and the asshole he chose broke his heart. And then when I trusted him again, thinking he could handle himself, he goes and almost leaves me. I have to protect him, since he’s proven to be shit at doing it himself.”
“I’m glad he has you,” I tell him sincerely. “It makes me breathe easier knowing someone cares about him as much as I do.”
“More,” Emilio says harshly. “I would never do to him what you did.”
“No,” I agree. “We are very different that way, but I need you to understand something.” I twist around so I’m facing him, ignoring how my entire body aches from the movement.
“He is mine now. Much like you are Hollis’s, and Roman is that bastard’s, and Antonio is Jude’s.
I will protect him with my life. Die for him, kill for him, be whoever and whatever he needs me to be.
Hate me if you want, I don’t care, but be there for him when he needs you, because your friendship means a lot to him.
I might not understand, or even feel love the way he does, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. ”
I let a smirk play on my lips, hoping Emilio can see the monster beneath my skin in my expression. Benjamin is mine, and nothing, not even his murderous best friend, will keep him from me—it’d just be a whole lot easier if he accepted it.
“What I feel for Benjamin goes to that deep, dark place inside me that will always be there, no matter how much therapy I sit through. He’s safe with me. I promise on his life, and those of my other lovers.”
Our gazes lock, and while the tension between us still crackles, there’s a bit of an understanding, too. One I hope will carry beyond this room.
“I don’t like it,” he says firmly.
“You don’t have to. All I ask is that you respect him and the choices he makes, much like he does the same for you. No matter how hard it is for him every time you return from Hollis bloodied.”
Emilio is too good at the game to wince at my words, but I can see the softening in his emerald eyes as something finally fucking clicks in his head. Too bad he’s too unpredictable for me to guess what.
Jayden and Benjamin finish their little conflab and return to us. “You’re both done for the day,” Jayden says. “We’ve made a few adjustments based on what we saw today, and I think it’s going to help you both in the long run.”
“I agree,” Benjamin says. “As long as you both do what you’re told”—he gives Emilio a look—“and don’t overdo it, we will have you back to fighting shape in no time. Sharing ideas and getting a baseline for you has been helpful.”
“Agreed,” Jayden chimes in. “I usually prefer working alone, but I could get used to you being around, Benjamin.”
Seeing Benjamin smile at the compliment loosens something inside me, and I reach my hand up for him. He gives me a loving smile and a quick squeeze of my hand before helping Emilio up.
Jayden gets me to my feet and leads me out of the PT room. I hate that I have to lean on him, but I won’t admit the two physical therapists put us through our paces, and a deep-seated ache is settling over my body.
Jayden helps me into bed, and I hate the feeling of exhaustion that rushes over me as he does so.
My humanness has never been more apparent than now, and I hate every single bit of it.
“I’ll be by tomorrow to check in on you.
Take it easy, and take one of these,” Jayden sets a bottle on the table next to the bed, “if your discomfort gets worse. Any lingering or unusual pain, call Doc.”
“I know the drill.”
“Yet you keep getting hurt, so you’ll keep hearing it,” Jayden says cheerfully before leaving.
Sighing, I close my eyes, hoping the exhaustion is stronger than every little ache, because I can ignore the pain easier in sleep.
The too narrow bed is almost as uncomfortable as the pain in my side, and it makes me want to kill something.
So, despite wanting to stay up long enough for one of my lovers to come in, I give in to what my body is telling me and dry swallow a stupid painkiller.
Getting shot is the worst. Fucking stupid federal agents with guns.