26. Emilio
H is .
That word pings around in my mind, even as Benjamin carefully walks me toward my bed. The way he carries my weight as I lean heavily into him proves how far he’s come in his training. Thank fuck, because despite my attempts to walk unaided, I whimper and groan as he eases me into the bed.
“We are definitely going to decrease your level of activity.” Benjamin’s lips thin as he hands me some pain medication and water.
I quickly take it, grimacing at the simple movement.
“And perhaps not put you with Tennant. You pushed yourself. Likely because you were thinking it was some sort of competition. Am I right?”
I try to scowl, but it probably comes off as a pout. “Maybe. It’s frustrating.”
“Yes, I’m sure it is. The fact you’re injured more than Tennant, but can’t magically do better, it makes no sense, huh?” I narrow my eyes at his sarcasm. It’s uncalled for, but I know better than to raise an objection. He’ll just increase his sadism.
“Whatever,” I mutter, barely resisting rolling my eyes. Mainly because I think even that will hurt.
“Speaking of Tennant… You seemed to have quite the conversation while Jayden and I were discussing your treatment plans.”
I shrug one shoulder, only to yelp at the pain. Benjamin smacks the top of my head, growling at me. I think he meant to do it lightly, but fuck. Either he doesn’t know his own strength, or I’m screwed at recovering.
Huffing, I side-eye him before dropping my gaze to the stupid blanket I’m stuck with. There are still too many loose threads and it pisses me off. He’s impatient as he stops my hands from moving, forcing me to drag my attention back to him.
“He called you his . Said Antonio is Jude’s, Roman is Ignacio’s, and…” I stutter. “He called me Hollis’s. I don’t understand… I’m Master’s.”
Sighing, Benjamin stares at me with pity, shaking his head.
“Lio…Ugh. Alright, let’s see if I can explain this.
We’ve had this discussion before. You can care—even love—more than one person at a time.
For instance, I love both you and Tennant.
Tennant loves me, but it isn’t something that takes away from his other relationships. It’s him and I. What we have is ours.
“Now, in your case, Hollis has feelings for you—very possessive feelings. He calls you puppy. It’s like how Allesandro calls you Little One. And while you maybe don’t understand it, you have feelings for him.”
My jaw drops as I stare at him in horror. “That’s not possible. I can’t have feelings for him. I. Am. Master’s.”
Benjamin rubs his temples as he lets out a deep exhale. “You’re not getting this.”
“No, I’m not. You can’t tell me I have feelings for someone other than Master. It’s not allowed.”
“Let’s try this. Word association. I say something, you give me the first word that comes to mind. Got it?” He drops his hands from his head and stares at me intently. I have no idea what he means by it, but as I nod, he starts. “Alright. Master.”
“Everything,” I immediately reply.
“Cole.”
“Mine.” I smile indulgently. I have to agree with that. He’s my nephew and I will protect him, always.
He hesitates before quietly saying, “Hollis.”
“S—” My eyes widen in alarm and I shake my head violently. No. Fucking. Way. I ignore the pain shooting through me, because fuck that. I can’t say it.
Sir .
I recoil immediately from it as I bite the word back.
Benjamin lightly strokes my head, despite the way it still throbs from earlier.
“You may not be willing to say it aloud right now, but this proves it. You have feelings for him. There’s nothing wrong with it.
I know Allesandro loves you, and you love him.
Nothing can threaten that. If your heart has room for Hollis… ”
“Nope,” I retort frantically. “Master would kill me. I really don’t want to die. Not to mention, he owns me. I enjoy that. I love how he puts me on my knees.”
“And you enjoy it when Hollis does as well…”
“That was a special circumstance. It helped me get through Master being gone. It can’t continue. Master wouldn’t even consider it.”
I look around frantically, worried that someone is listening in. There’s no way I want this conversation to get back to Master. I’m ashamed of considering Hollis, even for a split second, now that Master is back.
Benjamin’s lips twist in disappointment, but he doesn’t fight me anymore.
“Very well. I want you to think about it at least. And if you have questions, you can always ask me. You could also talk to Hollis. I’m sure he’ll tell you exactly how he feels.
There’s nothing wrong with being loved by more than Allesandro. ”
I snort, refusing to acknowledge that stupidity. While I may be Death, it doesn’t mean I have an actual death wish. And there’s no fucking way I’m going against Master. That doesn’t entice me, even if the word Sir lingers... I glower at my friend, this conversation is over.
Sniffing, Benjamin must agree as he waves the discussion away, his stare of disapproval almost making me feel ashamed. It’s not enough, but close.
When he stands, I’m torn between relief that it's the end of this conversation, and sadness as I miss spending time with him. However, the pain pill is kicking in, making me yawn. I try to keep my eyes open, but there’s no way, so I slowly slide into oblivion.
Yet, before I do, I hear one word spoken by Benjamin and it shoots ice through my veins. I struggle against the forced sleep, but can’t manage it. Fuck, I hope I’m imagining it.
“Padrone.”