18. Don’t Go Bacon My Heart #2
“So are your fears warranted? Absolutely. But it’s up to you to rise above them, to step outside your comfort zone and put yourself out there, if you want to explore this thing with Carter. What do you think?”
I sink down to the chair, twirling my ponytail around my fingers as I stare at my runners.
“I can’t stop thinking about him. Everything feels natural with him, and he pushes me to open up.
For someone so assertive, he’s always been incredibly patient with me.
” My gaze lifts, floating to Cara. “I think I’d really like for both of us to give this a chance, if he still wants that. ”
Cara snorts and pulls out her phone. She flashes me her screen, and I see World’s Most Annoying Man at the top of the message thread, accompanied by a tiny profile photo of Carter. My eyes drop to the messages scattered on the screen.
is ollie ok? i don’t want her 2 be upset about that girl.
does she hate me?
do u think she wants to talk maybe 1 day soon?
maybe i could send her flowers???? roses? sunflowers? seems like a bright flower kinda girl.
i think i miss her, care. this sux.
“Safe to say he still wants to give it a shot, Liv.” She leans against my desk, nudging the toe of my shoe with hers.
“I’m proud of you. Going after what you want sounds easy to some people, but the reality is that sometimes it’s just fucking scary.
I think leaving when you did gave you the chance to step back and gain some clarity on the intensity of your feelings and what you wanted. ”
The school bell rings, signaling the end of another day, and Cara slings her purse over her shoulder and tosses my bag and coat at me before I can get a response out.
“Did you get your dress sorted for Saturday?”
“No.” I groan as we slip out the gym doors. “I’ve been to the mall twice this week and I can’t find anything.”
“All right, off to the mall we go. You need my expertise.”
“I don’t have time for a Cara-sized trip to the mall. I’ve gotta be home by five. Jeremy’s dropping Alannah off.”
“Oh, sweet Livvie. We’ll be in and out in a half hour. I promise you.”
* * *
We’re in and out in seventeen minutes.
Cara towed me into a store, waltzed up to a rack, picked a dress in nine seconds, shoved me into the change room, and then made every single employee come look at how “fucktacular” I looked. Honestly, I couldn’t disagree, hence the seventeen-minute trip.
Now she’s invited herself over for dinner, citing wanting to get my niece riled up before bed.
Alannah’s sleeping over because tomorrow is Take Your Kid To Work Day, and she begged me to come to school with me, even though she’s not, in fact, my offspring.
She said she wanted to boss around the big kids.
“I’ll be quick,” Cara promises as she pulls into her driveway. “Just need to grab something. Why don’t you come in and say hi to Em?”
“If you’re going to be qu—”
She slams the door, gesturing through the windshield for me to follow her, and with a sigh, I follow my bossy best friend through her front door.
I should’ve known it was a trap.
Because when she shoves me down the hallway and toward the kitchen, instead of only Emmett, I get the impossibly large frame of Mr. Beckett, frozen while he stares at me from halfway inside the opened fridge, jaw dangling.
“Hey! Hi! Olivia!” He’s yelling; I don’t know if he realizes. “G-good,” he sputters. “You look good!” Still yelling. He slams the fridge door and drops his elbow to the countertop, nearly missing his chin when he tries to prop it up in his palm.
I look down at my outfit. I’m still in my running shoes, a pair of Lululemon leggings that Cara got me for Christmas—because who the hell can afford to spend a hundred-plus dollars on a pair of workout pants—and a hoodie with my niece’s hockey team’s name scrawled across it.
My hair’s in a messy, low ponytail, tucked beneath a toque, and I look like I spent the day teaching fitness, which is exactly what I did.
Carter looks like he spent the day lounging on the couch and still belongs on the cover of GQ .
His charcoal gray sweatpants hang low on his hips, highlighting what I know to be an entirely too-impressive package, and his dry-fit Vipers shirt clings to every muscle of his flawlessly sculpted torso.
I barely resist the urge to fan my hot face.
“Oops!” Cara sashays into the room. “Carter! Totally forgot you were here!” Her sneaky smile is suspect.
“Uh-huh,” Emmett muses. “Forgot.” His air quotes are perfectly placed. “We’re gonna order pizza. You ladies want some?”
“Can’t stay, babe,” Cara tells him, which is good, because I don’t think I can speak. “Send some to Liv’s. We’re eating there.”
Carter and I are having an epic stare off. I can’t look away, nor do I really want to.
Until Cara takes my hand and starts towing me across the room.
My mouth quirks, and I give Carter a tiny wave. “Bye,” I whisper.
His entire face shatters with a cheek-splitting grin.
“ Wait !” Both hands come up as his body does this weird rock-swivel thing, like he has no idea what he’s looking for.
Then he launches into the living room and returns a moment later, sliding across the floor in his socks, two cookies in his hand.
With a shaky grip, he holds them up to me. “Oreos.”
My God, he’s freaking adorable.
I try to ignore the zing that passes from the tip of his fingers to mine when we touch, but it’s impossible. This man is a live wire and my entire body sizzles with need when he’s around.
He dashes ahead of us outside in his socks, which are now sure to be soaked from the snow, and pries open the passenger door for me. As we back out of the driveway, he watches us from the front porch, that ridiculous, over the top lopsided smile never waning.
“Man’s in love,” Cara mutters, and when we walk up my front steps twenty minutes later, I’m still focusing on those words, wondering if they might be our future someday.
We’re not in my house for two minutes when the front door swings open, a gangly brunette sweeping inside, flinging her sleepover bag into the wall when she sweeps her arms out with an extravagant flourish.
“I’m here, baby!” Alannah twirls, stopping with wiggling fingers in the air, sparkling grin set on me.
“Jazz hands? Really?”
Her giggle fills my small house, and she bounds over to me, leaping into my arms and tackling me into the wall. It’s short-lived, thank God, because when she spots Cara, it’s game over.
My brother finally makes it through the door, looking from them to me.
“Alannah and Cara? You fucking nuts?” He rolls his eyes as his daughter comes bounding over to him, hand out for the dollar she gets from him swearing.
“You sure you don’t wanna stay at our house?
” Jeremy asks. “Be a whole lot quieter.”
“Quieter and boring .” Alannah rolls her eyes.
“Mummy and Daddy said they’re gonna take a nap tonight after Jemmy goes to bed since I’m not gonna be home, since, ya know, I stay up way later than him.
” Jemmy is her little brother Jeremy. Yes, my brother named his son after himself.
I call my nephew Jem, and most of the time, my brother Asshole.
Cara laughs. “A nap, eh Jer?” She aims a pointed look at Alannah. “You sure you’re not trying to make a third?”
“Fuck no.” Another sigh, another dollar for his daughter. “I forgot how hard babies were. I’m done.”
“You should get snipped.”
He claps a hand over his crotch. “Don’t threaten my boys.”
A young man I don’t know appears at my door with one of those bright red insulated bags. He pulls out two pizza boxes. “Uh, Ollie…Ollie Wallie?”
“Oh my God.” I bury my face behind my hand before I take the pizzas. “Thank you so much. How much do I owe you?”
He shakes his head and starts back down the steps, waving over his shoulder. “Prepaid over the phone!”
“Oooh, pizza.” Jeremy reaches for the lid of the top box, but Cara slaps his hand away, taking the pizza and heading into the kitchen, Alannah hot on her heels. He frowns, taking another step in, and a shudder shakes his shoulders. “It’s freezing in here, Ol. Furnace broken again?”
“Guess so,” I murmur, moving to the thermostat.
Fifty-five. I press at the buttons, waiting for that sound that lets me know the furnace is whirring to life, but it never comes, so I smash on them some more, then smack my forehead off the little box twice, in case that’ll do anything.
When all of the above fails, my ears burn beneath the toque I still wear as I avoid my brother’s gaze.
This thing is broken 80 percent of the time, he’s fixed it for me at least three times, and I’ve had it professionally fixed four times. It’s always temporary. “I’m sorry.”
“Why the hell are you apologizing?”
I rub my arm and look down at my feet. “Because it’s freezing in here and Alannah’s staying over. It was working when I left for work this morning, I promise.” It’s hard not to feel like a failure around my brother sometimes, and right now is one of those times.
Jeremy rolls his eyes and tugs on my hoodie. “Load her up in your ratty sweats before you go to bed. She won’t break.”
“I’m tough as nails, Auntie Ollie.” Alannah peeks out from the kitchen, flexing her biceps and growling like a bear, a slice of cheese pizza between her teeth.
I follow Jeremy down to the basement, nibbling my thumbnail as he plays around with the furnace. When he sighs, I know the verdict isn’t good.
“Hate to tell you this, Ol, but this thing is toast. You need to replace it.”
The look on my face tells him exactly what I’m thinking: fan-fucking-tastic . A furnace is not on the list of things I can afford right now.
“Kris and I can help you out.”
I wave my hands around in front of my face. He’s bailed me out before, which was hard enough for me to accept. A new furnace is where I draw the line. “I have some emergency money saved up.”