Chapter 7
seven
ESTRELLA
I couldn’t help the moan that escaped my throat at the feeling of Zack’s mouth on mine, nor the rough texture of his beard against my face. The kiss only lasted mere moments—hardly enough time for anything—and yet, I still found myself arching towards him and wanting more.
I fucking hated kissing people.
It was more intimate than sex could ever be, in my eyes. It was choosing company, longing, and sensuality over lust and pleasure.
But with Zack…I found myself wanting more. I needed more.
So, in my handbook of dumb decisions I had made in the same twenty-four hours alone, I decided another one couldn’t hurt. I pulled Zack down towards me again, our mouths moved in a hurried, frenzied fashion. I pulled at his short hair to feel him and consume him at the exact same time.
Fuck, I had missed him.
Just for tonight, I reminded myself. Just to distract yourself from the fear of tonight.
Yet, I was now terrified for a whole new reason. Because if I was even enjoying that kiss…I don’t know how I could ever walk away again.
Zack broke our kiss with a sad chuckle. My eyebrows pinched in confusion. “I can feel you thinking too hard, mi Estrella . Just enjoy it. Leave your thoughts in the thunderstorm.”
“I can’t help it.”
He sighed. “I know, baby. Let me take them away for you then.”
“O-Okay. How are you going to do that?”
His smile was borderline evil. “Do you want my play-by-play, or do you want me to just take the thoughts out of your beautiful head? Because I can go into detail about everything I want to do to you, if you prefer that route.”
I immediately shook my head as heat flamed across my face. “Nope. No, I’m good. You don’t need to do that.”
He nodded. “Thought so. Sit up.”
“What?”
“Sit up,” Zack demanded with an eyebrow arched as he sat back on his haunches. “I can’t distract you very well if you’re fully clothed, ya know. But I could always try. That would be a fun challenge, actually.”
My jaw tightened. “Don’t be an asshole. I’ll go right back into the bedroom an?—”
“And what?” he cut me off with a challenging tone. “Rub one out yourself while your husband is ready to make you cum harder than you could ever manage to do on your own?”
“Fuck you!” I exclaimed, sitting up angrily. I was ready to shove him to the floor and go back to staying drunk the entire weekend to numb my pain. “God, this was a fucking mistake. Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your submissive fans that you’ve probably fucked on similar couches.”
In seconds, my shirt was easily wrestled off of me and thrown to the floor. I gasped as the cold night air hit my skin, forcing my nipples to pebble immediately. I barely had any time to properly react. Zack was immediately above me once again, with our shocked, angry faces at war with one another. One of his hands rubbed at my bare stomach tenderly. “No bra? That’s alright. It wasn’t going to last long anyway, either.”
I couldn’t tell if the shaking coursing through my body was from rage, fear, or the cold then. “ Te odio .”
“I love you. And you love me.”
My breath caught at the fierceness in his words. Yet disbelief and fear danced around my skull anxiously. “How can I believe you?”
“Do you trust me?”
A brittle chuckle escaped my mouth. “No.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not.”
He shook his head before I felt his hand move up my body and land on my throat. My eyes widened as his hand wrapped around the column of my slender neck and squeezed the sides in a possessive hold.
He was choking me. And I…wasn’t afraid.
Fuck.
Instead, my legs moved to squeeze close as arousal hit me like a truck—only to squeeze against the sides of one of his legs instead.
The smile that took over his face was downright sinister. “Look at mi Estrella . Says she doesn’t trust me, yet becomes needy when I take all the power from her. Isn’t that right, baby?”
Somehow, even with his grip on me, I was able to squeeze out, “No.”
His eyes rolled in annoyance.
I thought my answer would get him to back off, but I should have known better as he squeezed harder and leaned in closer to my face. “My love, I am going to set the record straight on something—right here, right now. I haven’t fucked another woman besides you since I was thirty. I have been completely celibate and faithful to you for the entire time I’ve been away from you. So, if you ever—and I mean ever—compare yourself to a whoring fan again, I will bruise your ass black and blue. You are not them, and I am not one of those guys, either. Do you understand me?”
Tears immediately stung my eyes at his words, and I fear they fell down my face as he lessened the pressure of his hold against my throat marginally. He swallowed roughly and watched as they fell down my face.
I shook my head. “Yo-You haven’t…?”
“No.”
“Why?”
His hand finally left my throat as he wiped the tears away from my face with the pad of his thumb, ignoring my question entirely. His gaze, heavy with longing and sadness, traced every bare piece of me that he could reach. “There was never a thought of anything potentially ‘after’ you. There was only you. There is only you.”
“Zack…”
“No. We’ll talk tomorrow. You can ask anything tomorrow. You can hate me tomorrow. Right now?” He shook his head again before he shifted his weight down, dragging the duvet with him and popped open the waistband of my denim shorts. “Right now, I am going to tongue-fuck my wife until she’s screaming, and then cuddle her to sleep. Like I have wanted to do every single day for the last decade.”