Chapter 22
Shiloh
Jimmie’s blood will be on your hands.
I stared at the pop-up on my computer screen, stricken. I’d logged in to the cam site to leave a final goodbye message before forwarding it to Kian’s servers.
I’d intentionally avoided going to my DMs. I didn’t want to give any of my former clients a chance to beg me to stay. I also didn’t want to see another anonymous threat.
The fact that it’d popped up meant it was being sent right now. In real time.
Jimmie’s blood will be on your hands.
Jimmie’s blood will be on your hands.
Jimmie’s blood will be on your hands.
Messages continued to pop up, filling my screen like some sort of horror movie bullshit. Right now, at this very moment, Curtis was smirking at his phone as he spammed me with messages. I knew it had to be him because Brick preferred to speak with his fists.
I tried to close the screen, but my cursor wouldn’t move. The whole site was frozen.
My stomach churned. “No, no, no…”
I should have shut this thing down weeks ago. What was wrong with me, leaving open the one avenue for them to contact me? I shut my laptop. Then unplugged it for good measure. But I couldn’t get those messages out of my mind.
What if Brick and Curtis sent someone after Jimmie in prison? What if he was already lying in a pool of blood after getting shanked?
I pushed away from the computer and paced the room. Jimmie wasn’t my problem. He wasn’t. But it didn’t feel right to ignore the threats. I’d cared about my ex once. I didn’t want to see him dead.
I picked up my phone and texted Holden.
Are you busy?
No, why?
I’m going to come over, if it’s okay. I need advice.
Okay, sure. I’ve always got time for you.
When I arrived at the garage, Holden was leaning against a worktable while Gray sat on a motorcycle—testing it out, maybe? Axel lounged on a pile of tires in the corner, and Bailey and Flynn leaned against the fender of a station wagon.
“Did I interrupt some sort of meeting?” I asked.
“Nah, we’re just shooting the shit,” Axel said, lifting a bottle in greeting. “Nice shirt, Teach. Want a beer?”
I glanced down at my Riverton T-shirt, complete with the Cornjerker mascot. “We had an assembly, Mr. Fashion Police. But yes, I could use a beer. It’s been a day.”
Axel opened the mini fridge beside him and pulled out a beer. When he looked like he might throw it, Holden jogged the couple of steps to intercept him and took it from his hand.
He handed it off to me. “What did you want to talk about?” He sounded a little nervous. “Is it about us, or…”
“No, nothing like that.” I used my shirt to twist the bottle cap off, exposing a strip of stomach, and Axel wolf whistled.
“Watch it,” Holden said, “or I’ll have to call Dalton.”
“I’m sure he’d like a good show too,” Axel snarked back with a wink.
“But would he like my foot up your—”
“Dalton’s a sheriff, right?” I asked suddenly, interrupting Holden’s comeback.
“Acting sheriff,” Axel said. “Official election is in April, but he’s uncontested now that Fuckhead Hales is out of the picture.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I had more pressing concerns. It sounded like Dalton was the sheriff, at least for now, so maybe he could help.
“Would he be able to find out about a prisoner for me? One in another state’s prison, I mean?”
The brothers exchanged concerned looks.
“What’s going on, Shiloh?” Holden asked.
I twisted my hands, unsure if I should drag Holden down this rabbit hole. He’d already done so much for me. He didn’t need to worry about my ex too.
I shook my head. “Never mind. It’s fine. I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
“Shy.” His voice was stern. “Tell me.”
I hesitated.
“Please,” he added softly. “I’m worried.”
“Okay.” Holden had enough worries without me adding to them. If I didn’t tell him now, he’d just wonder what I was hiding. I didn’t want him to think I was keeping secrets, not when he’d placed so much trust in me. “It’s about my ex.”
Holden tried not to show it, but I saw the small flinch around his eyes. The tightening of his mouth. His brothers didn’t hide it as well. They visibly cringed.
“What about him?” Holden asked in a remarkably neutral voice.
“Well, you remember that message I got last week?” I asked. “From those guys back in St. Louis…”
“I remember.”
“Well, they were threatening to take out my absence on Jimmie.”
“Jimmie’s still locked up, isn’t he?” Gray asked. “Seems like he’s safer than you.”
“That’s what I thought, but they sent me more messages. What if they can get to him in there?”
“They’re probably just trying to scare you into going home,” Holden said. “You can’t do that. It’s too dangerous.”
“I know, but…what if it’s not all a bluff?”
Flynn cleared his throat. “It does happen. But they’d need connections with someone inside.”
I turned. “So, Jimmie’s life could really be in danger?”
Behind me, Holden sighed. “I’m not sure how helpful that was, Flynn.”
Flynn ducked his head, mumbling, “Sorry.”
“Don’t blame him,” Bailey said. “He’s just telling you the truth.”
“I know that,” Holden said tightly.
“Well, it’s not his fault it’s not what you want to hear!”
“All right, settle down, brat,” Gray said. “No one’s mad at Flynn. This is just a stressful situation.”
I turned to Axel. “Would Dalton have a way of checking up on him?”
“I don’t know.” He pulled out his cell phone. “We can find out, though.”
He tapped a couple of buttons, connecting the call and putting it on speaker. We all listened as the line rang once, twice, three times. Just as I was sure Dalton would be too busy to answer, his smooth baritone came over the line.
“Hey, darlin’, I know you miss me, but I really can’t come by for a quickie today.”
“That’s not the only reason I call,” Axel protested as Gray and Bailey laughed.
“You got an audience over there? I told you I’m not into that sort of kink.”
“Ha-ha. Yes. My brothers are here, and Shiloh has an important question for you. Legal stuff. So stop being a smart-ass.”
Dalton’s tone changed from warm and playful to authoritative. “All right, tell me what’s going on.”
I took a step closer so the phone would pick up my voice.
“Hi, Dalton. Sorry to bother you.”
“That’s okay, Shy. Just tell me how I can help.”
“My, um, ex is in prison. I don’t know if you knew that?”
“Okay.”
“I got some messages today about how he might be in danger, and I wasn’t sure what to do.”
“I see. Well, do you want to file a report about the threats?”
“Can you do anything about them?” Holden asked.
“Not much,” Dalton said. “We could file a report so it’s on record if something else happens, but not much more.”
“I just didn’t know if there was a way to report the threat to Jimmie? Or to check up on him or…something…” I trailed off, feeling silly. “Never mind. This isn’t your job.”
“I don’t mind, Shy. But my reach doesn’t extend that far. I can call someone in the St. Louis police department and see if they can reach out to the prison? I can’t promise anything.”
“Okay, anything you can do is helpful. Thanks.”
Axel switched the call off speaker and lifted the phone to his ear. “Hey, Sheriff, come home early, and you can frisk me.” He laughed. “Yep. My brothers all know I’m a horny bastard. Okay… Love ya. Bye.”
I appreciated that Dalton would put out some feelers for me, but I couldn’t help but fear it would be too late if something really was going to happen. Brick and Curtis were probably bluffing, but if they weren’t…
Jimmie’s blood will be on your hands.
“Can we call the prison ourselves?” Holden asked. “Or maybe there’s a way to email Jimmie?” He flicked a glance at Flynn. “Some prisoners have those kinds of privileges, right?”
Flynn nodded. “Yeah. As long as he’s in good standing at the prison.”
“Oh! We did message. In the beginning…” I looked at Holden. “You wouldn’t mind me reaching out to him?”
“Not if it makes you feel better. Whatever happens, Jimmie put himself in this situation. You didn’t. I don’t want you feeling responsible for him, but you’re a caring person. If you ignored it, you wouldn’t be you.”
“Thanks for understanding. I really don’t care about Jimmie anymore. Not like that. I don’t want you to think that, because you and I…” I raised the bottle and took a quick drink of beer before I said something foolish.
Holden glanced over my shoulder at his family. “Come into the office a minute, okay?”
I swallowed, unsure whether to be concerned. Was he just pretending to be okay with me contacting Jimmie? “Okay.”
I followed Holden into his office and watched as he closed the door behind me.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted. “The last thing you care about is my stupid ex. I mean, that’s not what you want to hear about from a guy you’re—” I stopped short.
Holden gave me a look. “That’s the second time you’ve stopped yourself from saying something.”
“Well, I…I just don’t know…what to call what we are to each other.” I winced. “Not that we have to define anything. I’m not trying to corner you into something.”
“No cornering necessary,” Holden said. “I think you know already that I’m crazy about you. Why else would I have gone all the way to St. Louis and brought you into my home? You were already important to me.”
I nodded. “I wouldn’t have come if you weren’t something to me too.”
“I thought as much. But when I first came to get you, you were pretty adamant about one thing. You said you couldn’t be my boyfriend, and I—”
“That was stupid,” I blurted out. “I just didn’t want there to be any expectations about what we’d be to each other.”
“Which was fair,” Holden said. “I respect that.”
“Yeah, well, I also said we wouldn’t have sex, and we’ve done that a bunch of times.”
“Yeah, but we’re not really…I mean, it’s not the same kind of sex as you’d have with other guys. We did that even before you came here.”
“Maybe it’s not the same, but it’s still sex.” I shook my head. “I feel like we’re getting sidetracked. What did you want to say to me when you asked me to come in here?”
“I saw your uncertainty out there about us.” He licked his lips. “I just wanted to clarify it for you. Shiloh, this might be the worst time to ask, but would you consider going on a date with me?”
“A date?” I said, totally caught off guard.
He smiled shyly, and dear god, it was the most adorable expression I’d ever seen. Such a serious, disciplined, stern man going all cute and boyish. A dimple popped in his right cheek. Who knew he had a freaking dimple?
“At the risk of sounding stupid again, would you want to reconsider being my boyfriend? I know I—”
“Yes!”
He paused. “You should really think about it, though. I come with a lot of baggage, and that’s never going to change.”
“I don’t need to think about it.”
“But I’m not an easy man to be with.”
“Aren’t you? Because you’re blowing my ex out of the water.” At his stunned look, I added, “I might care if Jimmie lives or dies, but I don’t want to see him again. You know that, right? I’ve already fallen for someone else.”
His eyes warmed. “If I was a better man, I wouldn’t ask. I’d let you live your life without all my fucking damage, but I’m selfish, Shiloh.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Then we’ll be selfish together, because I want you too much to walk away now. You and me are seeing this through.”
He came a step closer and held out his hand. Moving slowly, I placed my palm over his. He folded my fingers within his. “I don’t deserve you,” he said quietly.
“Wrong,” I said softly. “You deserve everything.”
He lifted my hand and brushed a quick kiss to my knuckles. “I wish I could show you how much this means.”
“You show me every time you pick me up from school and glare at Parker.”
His jaw dropped. Obviously, he wasn’t aware of how transparent his jealousy was.
“You show me every time you fix my coffee for me while I’m still in the shower.
Every time you help me make dinner just so I’m not doing it alone.
Every time you hold my hand. Because I know that’s no small thing for you, Holden.
I know how hard you’re trying, and you don’t have to try at all, not for me.
Because you might not touch me much, but you touch my heart all the time, and that means a lot more. ”
“Well, Jesus, Shy… This was supposed to be my romantic moment. You’re stealing the show.”
I gave a watery laugh. “Sorry, it’s been a stressful day. My emotions are close to the surface.”
He gave my fingers a squeeze before releasing me. “Go message Jimmie, then. You’ll feel better once you’ve warned him about those threats. With any luck, we won’t have to worry about him ever again.”