Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
HARLEY
In my black dress, I sit on the edge of my bed, looking at an envelope I know has a letter addressed to me inside, but I don’t open it.
Last night, my mom told me that when my father first found out he was sick, he had written a message.
A message for me in case something happened to him.
Now something has happened, and yet I can’t get myself to read the letter where he says goodbye to me.
I don’t even know why I can’t either. I’ve tried to wrap my mind around why I’m being such a baby about it, but the truth is, I just don’t have an answer. All I know is, I can’t do it.
My mom asked me if I wanted to speak at my father’s funeral today, and even though I know I should, I told her no. With a room full of people staring at me, I know I’ll just fall apart.
There’s a short knock on the door, and my mom’s sister, Nicolette, pokes her head in. She got here late last night, just in time for the funeral today.
“Are you about ready, sweetie?” she asks softly. “Your mom is pretty anxious to get going. She wants to make sure everything is perfect there before guests start arriving.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, sliding the envelope into my crossbody bag and weakly standing up.
When I get to the doorway, she holds her arms out and pulls me to her chest. Her hand runs down my hair, and she squeezes me tightly. “I know today is going to be hard. I’m here, okay? Whatever you need.”
I nod because that’s the polite thing to do.
Every person who has stopped in, brought food, or called us has all said the same thing.
But how do we know that they really will be there for whatever we need?
I mean, heck, some of them we barely know.
My aunt means it, but it doesn’t change the fact that in a few days, she’ll be headed back to California. So, how much is she going to help?
Silently, I follow her down the hallway and into the kitchen, where my mom is waiting.
My mom holds her hand out for me to take, and together, we head out to the car. All just to ride to a church that we barely attended to say goodbye to my dad—again.
CANE
Seeing as Haven, Gigi, and I ended up on the same flight to Montana, we decided to share an Uber because that seemed to make the most sense since we’re all headed to the same place.
A funeral.
Harley hasn’t talked to anyone much, if at all. Even her coach hasn’t heard from her, but Haven said that Harley’s mom reached out to the coach and told her that Harley was having a tough time, but she would return back to campus next week, once the funeral was over.
I hope she will. I hope this doesn’t derail her entire school year and season.
The three of us stand on the sidewalk at the airport, waiting for the driver to show up.
“He’s two minutes away,” I utter, looking at my phone. “It’s a black Escalade.”
“Holy high roller,” Haven says with a snicker. “Uber Black, I take it? Nothing but the best for King Hale?”
“Says the daughter of Mason King,” I deadpan, and quickly, her snickers stop.
Haven understands what it’s like to be the child of a professional athlete. And, yeah, I suppose I’m a spoiled brat for always choosing Uber Black, but it’s just what I’ve grown up doing, and old habits die hard.
“My parents are going to freak out when they find out I flew to Montana and missed practice,” Gigi mutters, more so to herself than to us.
“They’ll be fine,” Haven says to Gigi. “Besides, we’re flying right back first thing tomorrow morning, so aside from missing one stinking practice today—which Coach approved, let me remind you—we’ll be back in time for hitting practice.
” She stops, glancing at me. “You know, I was kind of surprised to see you at the airport, headed back to Montana.” She raises her brows.
“That’s two trips in one week. Are you and Harley like—”
“We’re friends,” I say quickly, cutting her off just as a blacked-out Escalade pulls up to the curb. “Here’s our ride.”
I can’t tell one of Harley’s best friends the truth—the truth being that I’m here because I’m in love with her friend and I had to come back to be here for her, even though she may not want me here. I can’t say any of that.
And I still haven’t figured out what the fuck I’m going to do if being here makes everything worse.