Chapter 11 Constance
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CONSTANCE
How the fuck do I always end up in bed with them? Or should I say rolling around on the couch in a fucking club with them?
I follow Pyper through a set of double doors, my mind completely gone, thinking about last night and how reckless these people be having me out here in these streets.
Sigh… being here is really like being in Aladdin… it’s a whole new world, one I’m actually starting to dread leaving…
I’m already thinking about what a dull life I’m going lead once I get back… ugh the annoying quiet, the constant feeling of someone lurking… the fear… I’m going miss this.
Well… maybe I can move here? I have a house and some money…
I can just keep beating these rich Russians and…
no no no! Even if I do, it’s not like it’ll be the same.
Misha is engaged to be married and so are Nadya and Dimitri…
being here while seeing them living happy lives will leave me feeling…
well, I don’t know what it will leave me feeling, but I know even if I do move here, my quality of life wouldn’t get anywhere close to like this.
I immediately start calculating the cost of living that I’ve grown accustomed to just being here for a small amount of time and cringe.
Shit, being in this so called wellness wing, I know it’ll easily run me eight figures.
Eight figures I for damn sure don’t have…
hell, I barely have three figures, but I digress.
When I enter the pool area with Pyper, my jaw drops and I shake my head because…
this isn’t a pool. This is a fucking cathedral dedicated to nothing but fucking water.
We’re in a massive, glass-domed atrium, where the air is thick with the scent of nature, citrus and sea salt.
The floor is smooth, polished white marble that glows under the afternoon sun streaming through the arched windows.
Tall, lush tropical ferns spill over the edges, contrasting sharply with the view outside.
Damn… I would never be able to afford this!
Two immense bodies of water anchor the space.
The indoor pool is right in front of me, a deep sapphire rectangle steaming gently, promising bathwater warmth.
But beyond a vast, retractable glass wall is the outdoor pool, surrounded by snow-dusted black stone and sculpted ice formations.
What the fuck? Why would they need an outdoor pool like that?
I stand completely mesmerized by the sheer scale of the luxury, but then I realize some of the family is already gathered as Pyper rips off her silk robe, revealing a tiny red string bikini, and she’s bouncing on the balls of her feet, her skin already pink from the cold air. Hold on… what is she about to do?
“Come, Connie, come! We go for a svim!” Pyper beams, linking arms with one of her cousins.
“Oh, no, honey,” I mutter to myself, pulling my own robe tighter. “I’m good on that.” I shake my head, curling my lip as the glass doors slide open, and the arctic air rushes in, sharp enough to steal my breath.
“Fine. Suit yourself.” She shrieks an enthusiastic Russian phrase.
Then, with a collective roar, the whole group sprints across the cold granite floor and hurdle themselves into the dark, freezing outdoor water, splashing loudly.
They surface, howling, laughing, and giggling, and I shake my head, utterly baffled.
“Come on, Connie! Ze vater is perfect!” Pyper calls out to me and I shudder.
“No! Y’all are psychopaths!” I shout, but my eyes are drawn outside, further away from the pool.
Shirtless with nothing but a pair of swim trunks, smoking cigar, looking out at the mountains with bare feet planted in the snow…
his body glistens like carved bronze against the snow while Veronica, who can’t read the room, stands next to him, vying for his attention, shivering, and I shake my head at the silly girl.
She’s clearly freezing, clad in nothing but a green bikini, but I don’t see the point. The man threw you out ass naked… what the fuck is a swimsuit going to do? But like Grandpa Viktor said, that ain’t my business…
I look away and take a hard left, peel off my robe, and slip into the warm, inviting waters of the indoor pool.
It feels like stepping into a silk sauna, and I can only sigh as I close my eyes, leaning back against the smooth, tiled edge, letting the gentle current soothe the dull, lingering aches in my muscles.
Now this is my kind of relaxation. Safe, soft, and sensible.
But a moment later, I hear a splash close by. A gentle one, and I open my eyes to see Alik wearing simple black swim trunks, swimming toward me. He settles on the submerged bench beside me, his expression earnest and concerned.
“Hey, you. Why are you here and not out there with those psychopaths?” I nod toward the crazy people partying outside in the snow, damn near naked.
“Because I vant to be here vit you.” He winks, and I chuckle
“Aww, I knew you were the only normal one here,” I quip and he smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Alik, is something wrong?” I tilt my head, looking him in the eyes.
He smiles weakly, swirling the water with his hand.
The light catches the gold emblem on the Bershov ring on his finger that draws my attention.
The ring looks just like the one I saw on Pyper and Misha’s hands, and it feels impossible to ignore. It’s a heavy piece of gold, rich and dark with age, looking less like jewelry and more like a tool. The metal on the broad shoulders of the band was deeply carved with diamonds encrusted around it.
But it’s the face that draws the eye: a polished, flat cushion of black onyx, sunk into the gold. Carved into its depths is a single, imperious emblem of a bear with a crown, engraved with an unmistakable mark of ancient, unshakeable authority. I wonder what these rings mean…
“Connie...” He hesitates, cutting his eyes toward the glass where we can see Misha watching us, his long hair oddly looking white in the snow. “I… I heard zhings earlier.”
“Oh? What did you hear?”
“I heard… vell… are you seeing Mikhail?” he ask and I reel back at that, closing my eyes briefly, letting out a heavy breath. I should have known this would not be able to stay hidden for long.
“I think seeing is a strong word,” I tell him honestly, meeting his brown eyes.
“Vhat does zhat even mean? You’re eizher seeing him or not.” He narrows his eyes, and I can tell he’s upset. I sigh, playing off how kind of happy I am about that.
“I know what you think is happening, but he and I are not in a relationship. It’s not a thing.
It’s purely physical, nothing more. Please, the man is engaged, for crying out loud.
What the hell kind of serious relationship can I have with a man like that?
” I snort, though I do in fact like Misha and wouldn’t mind something more blooming between us under the right circumstances, but I barely know him and clearly that will never happen.
Instinctively, I’m drawn to him just like I was drawn to Alik when we first got together. However, I don’t want to feel that pain and mind numbing confusion anymore…. I’m done with love.
“But vhy him?!” He frowns, fisting his hands in the water.
“Well, I don’t know… I didn’t do it on purpose. It just… happened,” I answer honestly and deep down it feels like it has to be him. I want Misha in any way I can get him. It’s like I have an unquenchable thirst for that man, and I thank God it’s mutual.
“But… I hate it.” He looks at me and my chest aches, hating the sadness on his face.
“Alik…”
“Okay just tell me, is it love?” he asks and I shake my head adamantly.
“… I uhm… i… it’s j-j-just s-sex,” I tell him and his jaw ticks.
“I see… so you are not... in love?” he whispers, the Russian accent thick with vulnerability and my heart thumps at that. Why is he asking all of that when he broke up with me?
“Alik,” I cut my eyes to him, growing upset.
Who is he to question me when he left? I want to grab his head and dunk it in the water, but instead, I take a deep breath and let it out gently, telling him the truth.
“I don’t know what this is with Mikhail.
All I know is its raw, immediate, and utterly finite with all things considered.
Right now, I’m just enjoying my vacation with a man I happen to find my type. It doesn’t mean anything beyond that.”
He flinches, watching me closely.
“You say zhat, Connie, but I know you vant more. You have a huge, beautiful heart and as selfish as it is, I vant it all.”
“You do have my heart… just… not all of it… not anymore.” I trail off.
“I know Connie… I know all too vell zhere vill never be an us again, but…” He places a shaking hand on my face. “By the Source… I…” he cuts off before he can finish his thought and turns away. “I vorry about you.”
My gaze falls, and I bite my lip hard.
“Alik, I love you,” I tell him and he flinches.
“But?”
I don’t say anything. The silence that follows is heavy, broken only by the gentle slosh of the pool water and the distant, muffled shouting from the psychos outside.
His hand, which was resting near mine, curls into a tight fist before relaxing again.
He stares into the water, unmoving, for what feels like a decade.
Then, he lifts his head, and his eyes… the kindest eyes in this entire ruthless family are clouded with genuine sadness.
“Connie,” he says, the word coming out as a sigh, deep and resigned. “As long as I can have you in my life, I’ll accept anyzhing.”
My heart skips a beat and he squeezes my hand with a bittersweet smile, the corners of his mouth barely lifting as if trying to mask the ache beneath. I reach out instinctively, cupping his cheek, something inside of me feeling like it’s dying, but I can’t put a finger on it.
“God Alik… you’re just too sweet,” I murmur.
The moment lingers between us as we hold hands while we just start talking, forgetting the sadness, but the entire time I feel his eyes on me. I don’t know why, but with Misha watching and holding Alik’s hand, something stirs in me…
What is this feeling?