Chapter 12 Constance
CHAPTER TWELVE
CONSTANCE
God… these people are fucking nuts!
I leave my room, still hearing them partying in the distance in this freezing fucking cold. Just the thought of it makes me pull my coat closer to me as I strut off in some random direction to clear my mind after my talk with Alik.
“So you’re saying zhere vill never be an us...”
Honestly… those words hurt more than I thought they would… not because I want anything between us, but because I know how much it hurt him to come to that realization.
I wish I could turn my feelings on for him so he could never hurt again, but I tried that before towards the end of our relationship and I was just… miserable. Every day he would come home and smile at me…kiss me, touch me, but it just felt… wrong.
When he made love to me, it was more like my body responding to stimulation rather than me actually enjoying it.
My breaking point was when I started to see other women genuinely show romantic interest in him in my face, but I felt neither jealously nor resentment.
I found I felt more relief… hope, and even excitement that he might cheat on me and move on, but who was I kidding? Alik was never that type of man.
He’s loyal to a fault and loveable beyond belief, even when we met through Pyper and I told him about Dren…
my ex, the ongoing problem. Alik was still with me through and through and allowed me to lean on him as the stalking grew worse.
He and Pyper went to Dren’s house and confronted him when the police and restraining orders did nothing to help, and they even wound up getting hurt.
No, I don’t want to put Alik through that again.
He deserves someone who will treat him like the good man he is.
I walk, listening to the crunch of my boots against gravel, accompanied by the rustling of the trees.
“Damn, I really can’t get over how peaceful it is here,” I mutter to myself and walk further until I pause when I see a massive ass greenhouse, lit up so dazzlingly.
It honestly doesn’t look like it fits in this winter wonderland.
The glow from the huge structure alone looks warm and inviting. Like something out of a fairytale.
“Okay, rich people,” I mutter as I walk over and amble up the path, opening the door and immediately pausing at the sheer beauty.
There are vines hanging from the ceiling, lavender and rosemary growing along the walls, fat peonies blooming in the corners, and little wind chimes swaying with the breeze.
There’s an old wooden bookshelf stuffed with faded leather journals, and soft lighting, giving it a more inviting feel, and the best part… it’s warm!
I take a step forward, enchanted, taking the stunning roses a bit closer and looking at the many different fruits and vegetables growing with such care.
“It seems you have habit of vondering into places you aren’t meant to be in.” I jump when I hear a low voice and whip around, eyes going wide when I see Mikhail, sleeves rolled to the elbow, one hand with a watering can like he belongs in a home and gardening magazine
“I… I’m sorry… I uhm… I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to come in here,” I murmur, taking in how utterly beautiful this man is. With his massive body, seeing him inside a greenhouse garden feels laughable, yet here he is.
“Vhatever… you’re here.” He finishes watering the lilies and moves on to some gorgeous orchids, and I follow him.
I feel uncomfortable just standing there, so I look around for Nadya and Dimitri, but they aren’t here… I haven’t seen them since the club.
“U-uhm… have you uhm… have you seen Nadya and Dimitri?” I ask, and he cuts his eyes to me.
“I have.”
“Oh… where are they? I haven’t seen them since the…” I blush, heart skipping a beat. “S-since the club.” He watches me for a long second and then looks back at the flowers.
“Zhey are recovering,” he voices casually, making me panic.
“Oh my God! Are they okay? From what?” I step forward, worried, and he glances at me with a smirk.
“From me.” Good Lord! I place my hand on my hammering heart, nervously stamping down the little part of me that wants to pry.
“O-oh… uhm… it’s beautiful in here,” I whisper, changing the subject and he stays quiet for a while. I assume he’s not going to say anything, but he shifts towards me.
“Was my babushka’s… my grandmozher,” he says after a long pause. “She built it after my parents died. Said plants vere quiet. Safe. Said zhey didn’t hurt people.”
“Smart woman.” I smile and he nods.
“Da, she vas kind, but hard voman. She vas quick offer hug vhen I needed, and vould clean my vounds vhen I got in trouble… vould beat me vhen I deserved it,” he chuckles dryly.
I glance around the garden, and my fingers brush a petal.
“She sounds like a total badass.” I want to say boss bitch, but yeah… I don’t know how that would fly.
“She vas.” His voice dips. “Strongest voman I knew. Tougher zhan half ze men in ze house.” Silence falls again, but for some reason it’s not awkward at all.
It’s warm and heavy like a blanket. “She vould have liked you.” He surprises me by breaking the silence as he lifts his hand to brush a piece of hair from my cheeks, and I forget how to breathe.
His fingers linger, rough from work, but gentle for a man like him. His knuckles graze my cheek, and I should pull back, I should say something slick to break the moment, like mention his fiancé… but I’m a shameless, gluttonous, thirsty bitch, and I can’t do it.
My lungs stutter. My blood heats, and as his hand grazes my lips, a sharp jolt of electricity hits my pussy, causing my body to sway toward him before I even think to stop it.
The air in the greenhouse is thick and humid, smelling of damp soil and blooming jasmine. It feels like a jungle here, a perfect place to get lost in him. I know I should step away but instead I lean into him, body tingling as Misha’s arms tighten around me.
“Pechenye…” he pulls me closer. “Tell me about you.”
“W-why?” I go still not expecting that demand.
“Because I vant to know.”
“But again… why?” I pull away from him going over to look at a ladybug crawling. “It’s not like you need to know about me… I’ll be gone next week an—”
“Do I need a reason?” I peek up at him, snorting.
“I guess you don’t, but there’s nothing to tell,” I shrug. “My family is as normal as they come,” I start, trying to sound casual as I trace the moisture bead on a giant fern leaf. “My mom’s a school teacher, my dad runs a small construction firm upstate,” I murmur.
“Do you have siblings?”
“Yup, two of them, a brother and a sister…they are my parents’ biological children.
I’m the baby. I was adopted, but they don’t treat me like it at all.
In fact, I would even say I’m the favorite.
” I smile, thinking about them. “My sister is a single parent and a principal, and my brother… well he’s the trouble maker of the family, but he’s good people,” I omit the fact that he and Pyper are seeing each other since that’s her business to tell.
“They’re all good people. Cool as hell, nerve-wrecking, and needy sometimes, but I love them” I chuckle, heart warming.
“Just regular shmegular middle class Black family.”
Misha looks up at me, his gaze sharp and assessing.
“And hov did you meet Pyper?”
“Hm… you’re asking a lot of questions for someone you only fucked twice.” I cut my eyes his way and she chuckles deep.
“Vhat can I say? I’m interested.” I roll my eyes, doubting that, but answer his question anyways.
“I just happened to meet Pyper while out with some coworkers about six years ago. She was a friend of theirs and we just ended up hitting it off. She’s been my friend since.
She’s kind of my rock.” But I can’t help but swallow at his earlier comment…
he’s interested… I take a deep breath, knowing this is the part I have to nail, the part that keeps the walls up.
“Look, Misha. I like this. I like you. The sex is... honestly the best I’ve ever had. But I need you to understand something. Regardless of how much you’re interested… I’m not looking for anything serious. Not a relationship, not commitment, nothing long-term. I just want to have fun. That’s it.”
His expression doesn’t change, but his hand tightens on the shears.
“Vhy?” he asks, his voice low and dangerous, and I stand, walking back over to stand in front of him.
“Because that’s just how I operate.”
“Has zhis got anyzhing to do vit Alik?” He raises a brow, muscles rippling.
The name hangs in the air, suddenly sour.
Misha’s lips press into a thin line, and he lets the shears drop into the soft dirt with a metallic thud as pulls off his gloves and he levels me with a look.
I turn away, but he cups my chin forcing me to look at him. “Answer me.”
I grit my jaw, glaring, wanting to tell him to fuck off. He’s got no business prying into my life, but…
“Alik? What does he have to do with this?”
“A man doesn’t look at voman vit eyes like zhat unless he’s hoping to fuck her, or two… he’s fucked her and is trying to do it again,” he growls, eyes looking as if they are glowing in the dark. “Tell me…”
I can feel the color rising on my neck, and my body pulsing.
“A-Alik and I used to date,” I admit and his brow rises as he goes still.
“And?”
“A-and we-well… I love him,” I admit.
“But?” he presses and I feel my heart skip a beat.
“A-and I don’t know… i-if I’m honest, the sex was good… he’s a sweet guy and I love him, but I don’t know… I can’t put a finger on why, b-but somewhere our connection just sort of s-stopped,” I try to laugh, but it comes out as a shaky exhale.
God, I hate myself right now. That makes four members of the Bershov family I’ve slept with. It's truly cringe.
“I see… it just stopped?” Misha growls with something I can’t read in his eyes. “I don’t like him touching you…”
“That’s a bold claim coming from an engaged man whos’ got to two side pieces.”