23. Romy
TWENTY-THREE
Romy
“ W here do you want this to go?” I was holding a floor lamp that’d just been delivered, the sixth or seventh delivery so far this morning, because Cassian was nothing if not thorough. The house had been officially finished and ready to move into on Monday, and it was now Saturday. Today was moving in day, Cas having spent the last three weeks at the Puffin Inn as Beryl and her husband were finally back off their cruise.
It was going to be a sea-change for all of us. We’d gotten used to Cas being next door, the girls often found in Beryl’s back garden, pestering him with showing him something they’d made up or demonstrating one of Heidi’s ever lasting plays which were her latest craze. Or he was in our own little cottage, making dinner or listening to them read, or sat on the sofa with me while we binge watched a series once the girls were in bed.
While he’d been in residence at the Puffin Inn, he’d been at the cottage most evenings, not wanting to become a fixture in the pub like he had when he’d first moved into town.
Now he had his own space back, which meant it’d be harder for me to see him on tap, so there was a bittersweetness to unboxing the floor lamp which was designed to illuminate a book.
“Lounge, just next to the sofa.” He was carrying in a huge dining table with Roe, the two of them having struck up a friendship that reminded me and Freya of teenaged boys. The same sort of humour, interest in computer games and adolescent jokes. “Holy fuckness, this is heavy.”
“Man up.” Roe pushed the table quicker, almost making Cas stumble.
“Fuck you. Shit, where are the girls?” He looked around, panicking that they might’ve heard him swear.
They’d heard him swear before, which hadn’t bothered me. They knew not to repeat it and I’d agreed they could use the word ‘shit’ when they were twelve and only in certain circumstances.
“They’re outside, doing something with shells so you don’t need to worry owing the swear jar.” He hadn’t escaped paying into that.
Two minutes later and he was in the lounge with me, looking sweaty and rather mucky, which had a weirdly heat-inducing effect on me. I put my arms around him, finding him just as sweaty as he’d looked.
“I think we should pretend you’re a removal man and I’m your boss later.”
He frowned. “I don’t think we ever need to pretend who’s the boss. We both know that’s you. Are you staying here tonight?”
I nodded, enjoying the feel of his muscles that’d become more defined since the football season had fully kicked in. “Unless you want a quiet night on your own?”
“That’s the last thing I want.” He nuzzled my hair. “We’re having people round tomorrow as well. There’s the covered area at the back where we can barbecue even if it’s raining.”
“The forecast’s dry. Then one more week until half term.” Which was when we were going away on holiday with Heidi and Mia. A week in Turkey, instead of Disney which had been my first plan. It would be Mia’s first holiday abroad and first time on a plane, a week of swimming, reading, a family suite with a swim up pool and a beach where it wasn’t going to be raining and I wouldn’t bump into Mavis.
God forbid I bumped into Mavis.
“I can’t wait. But, I need to get the rest of the furniture in.” He moved away from me, just far enough so he could press a quick kiss to my lips just as Roe stuck his head in.
“Stop canoodling and get on with helping me, slacker.”
There was more banter, and I was passed another recently delivered box with cushions and throws in for the lounge, ones I’d helped Cas pick. I unpacked them, placing them where I thought best, knowing that there’d be a couple of nights at least when Cas fell asleep on the sofa for the night while he was watching TV.
It was going to be strange him being here. Weird to help him set up a house that we weren’t going to be living in or popping round to every few hours if he wasn’t at ours.
I moved upstairs to set up the spare bedrooms. It was a five bedroomed house, and at one point the previous head had lived here with his three kids. It would be a big house for Cas on his own, a thought which kept reverberating round my head.
My cottage was too small for me, Heidi and Mia. The spare room I’d cleared out was okay for Mia at the moment, but it wouldn’t be big enough for a teenaged girl and having one bathroom between us was never going to work. I was considering selling up and buying something with more space, but I’d been holding off telling Cas about it.
I sat down on the bed I’d just made, a three quarter size that suited the room nicely. The room was painted in a light green which suited the view over the farmer’s fields nearby.
“Slacking off?” Cas’ dark hair appeared round the door. “We’re going to stop for lunch – Roe’s just gone to get a load of sandwiches and Freya’s outside with the girls and the baby.”
“Are the girls okay?”
“Fine. They’ve discovered the old tree house at the bottom of the garden. It’s safe enough for them to play in. I’ll do it up in spring if they’re still interested.” He rubbed his face with the back of his hand. “We should be done by two.”
“In time for football?” Nothing came between Cas and football.
“Of course. What are you looking so woeful about? Is it because you’re going to miss me so much you won’t cope?” His grin was infuriating.
I folded my arms. “Keep telling yourself that.” He was absolutely right though.
“What were you thinking about then?” He came in the room, sitting down next to me, which was a little irritating because he wasn’t the cleanest and I’d just put on clean sheets.
I put my head on his shoulder anyway and leaned into him, relaxing. “I’m probably going to sell the cottage. Seeing the girls in a bigger house this week has made me realise we need somewhere with more space.”
His arm was around me, cheek resting on my head. “You bought your cottage with Joel though.”
“It was our first house but it wasn’t meant to be our last. We wanted another baby after Heidi, maybe two more, and we knew we’d need somewhere bigger. But it was what we could afford at the time.” I smiled remembering the plans we’d half made because Joel always made sure there was room for either of us to change our minds.
There was a pause, then Cassian spoke.
“Move in here.”
I looked up at him, blinking.
“I’ve been thinking about it for ages,” he continued. “Far longer than I was going to admit because I know it was a bit soon.”
Bubbles of excitement started to cascade in my belly. “You’ve thought about this?”
“Loads. That’s why I got you to choose loads of the furniture.”
“What if we didn’t work out and that furniture reminded you of me?” Sometimes he surprised me.
He grinned, looking younger than he was, and impossible to refuse.
“We were always going to work out. It was inevitable. I knew that as soon as I turned you down when you asked me on that date.” He teased an escaped tendril of hair behind my ear.
“So why did you turn me down then if you knew it was inevitable?”
Another grin. “I was trying to be sensible, but then moving here and meeting you made the molecules of the earth shift, and I started to accept what the universe had thrown my way.”
“I think I would like to move in.” I would tell him some time that I’d been thinking about it anyway, wondering if he would ask. Hoping he would ask. “We don’t have to rush it though.”
He nodded, running his hand up and down my back. “We don’t. Take whatever time you need to give the girls time to get used to the idea. You can rent your cottage rather than sell it.”
“Maybe. I’ll think about it.” The air stilled again. “I should ask you one more thing.”
“If it’s a proposal, that’s meant to be my thing and you might need to wait a few more months for that.”
More flutters in my stomach.
“Kind of. Do you want kids? I mean, me moving in comes with plus two, which you’re well aware of, but do you want more?” My skin tingled as I asked it. This wasn’t make or break. I would like to be pregnant again, and I loved babies. I wanted a different experience though, someone to share those first steps and first words with, and maybe I was just a little bit broody with all the babies that the couples of Puffin Bay were producing.
Cas gave me a curious look, his eyes softening. “I would. If you did. It isn’t a dealbreaker if you didn’t want anymore. You’ve worked fucking hard bringing Heidi up on your own and I wouldn’t blame you if you were done. But you know I’d be a hands on dad.”
Given he’d spent Wednesday evening being drawn on and dressed up like a clown, I couldn’t argue with that one. He’d apparently found it funny, and I’d found scrubbing him clean later on in the shower fun too.
“I know. We can park that idea for a while anyway.” Because Heidi had already been through so much change, having Mia come to live with us, and Cassian entering our lives.
“Yeah, I’ve seen how you look at Elsie and Calla.” He mentioned Ruby and Finn’s baby girl, and Calla, who was Roe and Freya’s daughter. “And I’ve seen how you look at me when I’m holding one of them.”
“To be fair, it wasn’t just me looking at you like that.” It was kind of a defence.
“I was only bothered about how you were looking at me. I didn’t notice the rest.” He was still smirking. “We can work things out as we go.”
“We can. We can take our time.”
On Christmas morning I thought back to that conversation and wondered exactly what our joint concept of time was.
A ridiculously large, real Christmas tree filled the window, blocking out what little light Christmas Day in Puffin Bay had to offer. It was just eight o’clock and I was on my third cup of coffee, wondering how much longer I needed to be awake for before I could have a nap. The girls had lasted until half five, and that included both of them in bed with us, feet in spleens and me hanging off the edge of the bed. Cas had slept with Mia’s foot in his face, and the Alsatian pup on his feet. Scooby was the latest resident of the schoolhouse, acquired on a Saturday morning two weeks ago from the woman who ran the cat charity Thane fostered for. He’d been abandoned somewhere in Snowdonia on a really cold day, and it’d been touch and go for a few hours if he’d make it. Cas had been out with Thane, who’d mentioned it and I came back from swimming with the girls and Deryn to find an eight week old puppy on the rug in front of the fire, his tail wagging and looking like it was already Christmas Day.
“Do you think they like their presents?” Cas peered out of the lounge into the room that’d become the playroom across the hallway. It was a third reception room, probably once used as a formal dining room, but it’d become the girls', a place they could have their toys that wasn’t the lounge, which was staying as an adult cross puppy room, more puppy given the size of Scooby’s bed.
“I like their presents.” I stretched out on the sofa, pulling a blanket over me. “You know what else I like? Sleep.” I got myself comfy on a cushion, intending to grab at least half an hour’s nap, else I wasn’t going to make it through to Christmas dinner, which Cassian was cooking, Deryn and her boyfriend joining us for it. Usually, we’d go to the Puffin Inn with half the town for Christmas dinner, but this year the girls had wanted it in their new home. There would’ve been no chance of getting them to leave the playroom now anyway, given it looked like a street of dolls’ houses and pony palaces, everything they could both want for setting up make believe worlds. Deryn had bought them a little wardrobe of dressing up clothes, which sensibly she’d sourced from charity shops and second-hand sellers rather than pay a fortune for them. I’d gotten each of them an individual present, and Cassian had gotten them a set of books each too, just from him. Ever the teacher.
He bent down and rubbed Scooby’s belly. The puppy was exhausted from what had been a very exciting morning of excited children and exciting wrapping paper, which he thought was a wonderful gift and didn’t even eat any of it.
I was excited about not having an emergency trip to the vets.
“Scooby’s got a present for you.” He turned back around to face me, holding a small velvet box.
“That’s earrings, isn’t it?” I sat up, suddenly not tired.
He wriggled his eyebrows. “You’ll have to see, won’t you?” Cas sat cross legged on the floor, the dog nuzzling at his hands.
I got off the sofa and sat down on the floor opposite him. “We said we wouldn’t rush anything.”
“You moved in here four weeks after I did and we thought that was long enough.”
That was true. We went on our holiday, had an amazing time, and then both girls had cried when Cas dropped us off after the airport at the cottage and came back here.
We’d had a week when we were either at his or he was at the cottage or at football training – or work which meant the girls were at school – and then we dropped the idea of us all living in the schoolhouse.
Deryn had been thrilled. The town had almost had a party. The chair of governors who’d appointed Cassian as head teacher decided it was all down to him, so we hid from the townsfolk for a week while they all calmed down.
“So do you want to see what’s in this present or shall I wait?” He held the box between his fingers in front of me.
“Of course.”
He put it in my hands, watching me open it with a huge grin on his face.
It was, as I expected, an engagement ring.
“Hey, Heidi! Mia! Get yourselves in here! I need your help.” He yelled the words, causing the puppy to get up and start barking furiously and I thanked the stars we didn’t have neighbours.
Heidi and Mia appeared, still in their Christmas pyjamas, not matching because they couldn’t agree on a pair they both liked.
They giggled, rushing to sit next to Cassian so the three of them looked like an over-excited interview panel.
“We think you should marry Cassian.” It was Mia who started the persuasion. Her shyness was almost all gone, leaving her with a spine of steel.
“Cassian wants to marry you and we want to be bridesmaids.” That was, of course, Heidi.
“Cassian loves you and we know you love Cassian, because you said so when you were cleaning up the beans he spilt all over the cooker last week.” Mia also had no fear at throwing anyone under a bus if it would get the desired outcome. She would go far.
“And we love Cassian. Plus, I’ve decided I want a baby brother.” Heidi folded her arms.
I looked at Cassian who was thoroughly entertained with all this. “I didn’t tell them what to say, honest. I didn’t know about the beans either. If you marry me I’ll always clean up the beans when I spill them.”
I didn’t say anything, partly because I didn’t know what to say.
Instead I looked at the ring. “You’d better put it on then.”
His grin grew impossibly bigger. “You’ll marry me then?”
“I could take my revenge and say no, but it’s inevitable, isn’t it?”
“Absolutely.” Then he kissed me, causing our daughters to make very realistic sick noises.