Chapter Nineteen
S ince they’d fallen into bed when the sun came up, their internal clocks were a little off. But Sera had never felt so alive or vibrant. She and Corey spent most of the day in his bedroom, exploring each other’s bodies and coming together in a way she couldn’t quite explain.
Whatever was happening, it was so much more than physical.
She didn’t know what to call it. Sex didn’t come close to doing it justice and sounded impersonal.
And making love? That didn’t sound exactly right either because he didn’t love her.
They hadn’t known each other long enough for that.
Love was something shared between couples who’d been together forever.
Right?
Except, when he was moving inside her body, the experience defied words. She felt everything . His very essence. His desire, his energy, his heart, even his shadows. Their connection felt almost sacred, taking intimacy to a whole new level.
Now, as she watched him whip up a batch of his delicious scrambled eggs with bacon and cheese, she tilted her head, studying him, and something felt different. But in a really good way. The air around him seemed lighter. Brighter, too, maybe?
Was he humming a tune?
Sex. Just go with sex, she told herself.
It seemed the safest explanation, especially when her head buzzed with words like “soulmate” and “once in a lifetime.” He glanced over at her and sent her a dazzling smile, as though he’d just won the lottery.
Her stomach flipped, attention zeroing in on the boyish dimple now visible since he’d shaved his beard.
How could one little indentation make her insides melt?
He hadn’t confided in her yet, but she’d poured her heart and story out to him after an orgasm. Or maybe it had been three orgasms. Giving her head a shake, she accepted the plate he handed her, watching from beneath her lashes as he sat down across from her.
She could eat breakfast for dinner with Corey every day for the rest of her life, and she’d be perfectly happy.
The sun had set, the animals had been fed, and now she stared at the man across from her who seemed too good to be true.
He treated her with a kindness that made her want more.
But they’d made no promises to each other.
Despite that, he’d listened to her open up and share her trauma.
And a part of her had healed because of it. Because of him.
She wanted to do the same for him—hoped she could, anyway—but first he had to trust her. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable enough yet, or maybe he didn’t feel what she was feeling. God, she hoped that wasn’t the case. Because if it was, she’d most likely be leaving Cielo Springs with a broken heart.
“You okay?” he asked, lowering his fork full of scrambled eggs.
Warmth suffused her heart. She’d never met a man as sweetly concerned as Corey.
He was a provider and a protector, but also completely in tune with her, picking up on her emotions with ease.
She appreciated how much he seemed to care, and she wanted him to know she was there for him, too.
Especially if he wanted to confide in her.
Nodding slowly, a smile curved her mouth. “Just thinking…”
“About what?”
God, that was a loaded question. A future with you? her heart whispered.
“About everything.”
The amazing, utterly mind-blowing sex. The way talking to him had been a balm to her soul.
The way he held her and kissed her and made sure she was safe and always taken care of.
And, of course, the way he and his team had flown to San Diego and found proof to take down Joel so he wouldn’t ever bother her again.
Her mind was on overload.
“I owe you,” she whispered. “You’ve helped me in so many ways and—”
“You don’t owe me anything.” He reached over and laid his big hand on hers. “Please, don’t think I’m looking for some kind of payment.”
“No, I know that. I guess what I mean is…” She swallowed hard, turning her hand and lacing her fingers through his. “If you ever want to talk about your past, I’m here for you.”
When he pulled his hand away, her heart fell.
“Thanks.” He said the word so quietly, she barely heard it. Then he picked up his fork and began eating.
And she wondered if she’d just messed up.
◆◆◆
At the mention of telling her about his past, Corey shut down fast. He didn’t want to talk about it.
For the first time in twenty years, he’d been feeling really fucking good.
Almost like he might be able to reclaim his life and start living again.
Maybe even find happiness. But bringing up the past would only put a damper on that.
There was no escaping the truth—his bad call had resulted in the death of Cassidy and two of his SEAL brothers. No matter how much he wanted to let the guilt go and move on, the heaviness of failure was his alone to bear. He’d fucked up and it was a burden he’d carry to his grave and beyond.
Not even amazing sex with an amazing woman could change that.
Yes, he wanted more with Sera. So much more.
But the idea of telling her how he’d screwed up made him lose his appetite.
What if she didn’t look at him the same?
What if she viewed him the way he saw himself?
He couldn’t bear to see that kind of disappointment in her pretty eyes.
Bury it, he ordered himself. Now wasn’t the time to spill his guts and turn into an emotional basketcase.
“Sometimes, I still get triggered,” Sera said softly, and his head jerked up. “Loud noises…guns…dark, small spaces…feeling trapped.”
He hated knowing that. Would give anything to change it.
“You didn’t deserve what happened to you,” he gritted out.
“I think the guilt is the worst, though. Why did I live when so many others died? People who had husbands, wives, children. I had nobody. Not really.” Her voice caught and he scowled, hating the fucker who’d inflicted so much trauma on her and others.
“Guilt is like quicksand, always trying to pull you under and filling every crevice. Trying to suffocate you.”
Pushing his plate away, Corey stood, his chair scraping back. He rounded the table and held his hands out. “C’mere, sweetheart.”
She placed her hands in his, and he swept her onto her feet and into his arms, carrying her over to the couch. Sitting down, holding her on his lap, he pressed a kiss to her head. “I won’t let anyone hurt you like that again. I’ll protect you until my last breath.”
Then, against his better judgment, he added, “ I promise. ”
His last promise had ended in bloodshed and death, and he hadn’t made a promise to anyone in over twenty years. The possibility of not being able to live up to his word again made his heart twist.
Christ, he was a fucking mess. He didn’t deserve someone as good as her. But, for some reason he didn’t quite understand or feel like questioning, he’d been given time with her, and it was a gift he refused to take for granted.
They held each other for a long while, breathing each other in, listening to their hearts sync and the fire crackle.
Night came once again, but the darkness didn’t feel quite so heavy.
Sera pulled back to straddle his lap. Then she cupped his face and initiated a kiss that left them both breathless.
A profound kiss where he realized the blood didn’t rush solely to his cock. It also flowed straight to his heart.
Running his fingers through her hair and down her back, he pulled her as close as possible, aligning their bodies.
He wanted to lose himself in her. But not just inside her body—in her pretty blue-gray eyes, her warm embrace and, most of all, in her beautiful essence which felt like a shelter from the storm.
A safe place where second chances and forgiveness dwelled.
A forgiveness he couldn’t seem to find in himself. But maybe she would be able to help him find it. One day…
She began tugging his pajama pants down and he stripped her panties and leggings off.
They came together hard and fast. Her knees dropped on either side of his thighs, and he thrust up.
She sank all the way down on his cock, hands grabbing his shoulders, and she grinded against him.
He grasped her hips, guiding her up and down, unable to stop the groans that ripped from his throat.
Leaning back, he watched her with hooded eyes as she rode him hard. “So fucking beautiful,” he rasped. His fingers slid over to toy with her clit, bringing her to a shattering climax.
Spinning her onto her back, he hitched her leg over his side and took control, pounding into her harder than he intended. But he was in a race against his demons, needing to find his release before they caught him.
With a shout, he came hard enough to see stars. But Sera proved to be the brightest star of all. And as his body shuddered and he spilled his release inside her, the demons seemed to scatter as unimaginable bliss encompassed him.
Fuck me. His cock still twitched deep inside her as clarity struck: she had the power to keep the bad stuff at bay. To suppress the ghosts and demons and nightmares.
How the hell was he ever going to let her go?
Maybe you don’t have to, a voice whispered.
As if she felt his inner turmoil, she laid a hand along his face and whispered, “You heal me, I heal you. Together.”
He nodded, then collapsed on top of her, breathing hard, trying not to crush her, but needing to feel her warm body pressed against him from top to bottom. As his scattered thoughts came together, he realized he hadn’t used a condom.
“I forgot protection.” He lifted his head, studying her flushed face. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
“I forgot, too.” She gave a little shrug. “I seriously doubt pregnancy is an issue, though.”
He arched a brow.
“Perimenopause. There’s like a five percent chance. Nothing to really worry about. And until you, I haven’t been with a man in a very, very…” She cleared her throat. “Very long time.”
“It’s been a long time for me, too. A very, very, very long time,” he echoed with a smile.
“So, I think it’s safe to say we’re both good to go there, too.”
“Definitely.”
Outside, the wind picked up and seemed to howl through the trees. As if in answer, Storm perked up from where he was laying, let his head fall back and howled, too. They laughed. Then Corey caught her mouth in a long, passionate kiss. He couldn’t get enough of her.
But it wasn’t long before the real world intruded, bursting their bubble. Brandon called and told Corey that Mitch had decided to stay longer because after talking to the higher-ups, the Motley Crew had a new op.
Corey looked at Sera, his heart rebelling. He didn’t want to leave her. “When?”
“We leave tonight. Get your gear and bring Sera and Loki back. They can stay with Julia and Mitch again.”
“Roger that.”
“The CIA sent in a team and raided J&J Shipping.”
“Did they arrest Joel?” Corey asked, and Sera sat up straighter, listening closely.
“No. One of his workers must’ve tipped him off because he pulled a disappearing act.”
“Are we going to hunt him down?”
“No. The CIA is handling his capture.”
“They better,” Corey ground out. “I don’t like knowing he’s out there somewhere.”
“He won’t be on the run for long. They’ll catch him and nail his ass.”
“So, what’s our op?”
“Mitch confirmed the Lazaro Cartel was paying Sera’s bosses to use the J&J Shipping warehouse and docks as a base of operations.
They’re trying to reestablish control in Tierra Caliente, diverting power from the Villarreals.
CIA gathered from your photos that a narco sub is being used to transport weapons down to Mexico so the Lazaro Cartel can continue fighting the Villarreals.
Our job is to intercept the sub and stop that from happening. ”
Corey frowned. How the hell would they find the submarine, let alone stop it?
After disconnecting the call, Corey explained the situation to Sera.
He felt bad about making her pack up again after they’d barely been back twenty-four hours.
But he took comfort in the fact that it had been the best twenty-four hours of his entire life.
And he hoped they were just getting started.
“I’m worried,” she said as they drove back to Old Glory, clutching the cat carrier on her lap a little tighter than the last time they made this trip. Light snow flurries hit the windshield as Corey expertly maneuvered the truck down the mountainside.
“You’ll be safe with Julia and Mitch.”
“I’m worried for you ,” she clarified.
“I’ll be fine, sweetheart,” he assured her. “This is what I do. The only thing I’m truly good at.”
“Oh, I disagree with that,” she murmured. “I think you’re pretty good at a few other things, too.”
He smirked. “Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Like giving me multiple orgasms.”
“I aim to please.”
She turned in her seat to face him, suddenly serious. “It’s more though, Corey. I feel like you see the real me. Emotional scars and all.”
“I do see the real you. And you, Sera Darling, are so fucking beautiful.”
He heard her breath catch. “You make me realize it’s okay to not be okay all the time.”
Because he didn’t have the words, he reached for her hand, pulled it across the center console and placed a kiss in her palm. She was becoming more important to him with every minute that passed.
And that scared the shit out of him. Because what if he failed her one day? What if she looked at him with disappointment in her eyes, treating him like the failed protector he knew he was?
He didn’t think he could stomach that. He’d rather die than let Sera down.