Chapter 11
There is more to Hunter’s broodiness. Having spent months analyzing his every gesture, every inhale and exhale whenever we were in a room, I know Hunter’s pain goes deeper than losing his mother. Something else happened to him, so I am getting information from the source while trying to be as discreet as possible about it.
We’re in the Lady Boss Lair, all seated on the comfy, big sofa. Abi is creating a cardboard building on the coffee table, Celine is working on her essay, Mia is editing a new children’s storytelling episode, and I am on my laptop, going through every picture of Preston boarding school with Hunter in it.
“What was your childhood like?” I ask Mia.
“It changed once Mom died. Dad took it on himself to get us back where we belong, but we had Alice too.”
My attention piques at the new information. “Who is Alice?”
“The new principal at Preston. She was my mother’s best friend and has always been there for us, but Hunter was her favorite.”
“He could do whatever he wanted and there were no consequences for him,” Celine whines.
“So why would she allow that?” Abi asks, echoing my own thoughts.
Mia shrugs. “Because she cared for him, and he was a difficult teenager.”
“Are we talking about the same guy here?” Abi asks, looking at me like we missed something.
Celine’s brow bunch into a contrite expression. “Yeah, well, he did a lot of things in high school—parties, girls. I think she just wanted to protect him.”
I search for Alice on the web. She’s beautiful with dark, shiny hair, flawless skin, full lips, and almond-shaped eyes. A pang of jealousy hits me out of nowhere.
“Are you crushing on my brother?” Mia teases me.
“Girl, please. That happened a long time ago,” Abi says.
“Am I that obvious?” I ask.
“Yes, but he’s no better,” Celine says.
“Why would you say that?”
“Girls flock to him. He has never spent time with them or stuff like that. But he took you out to have fun.”
“Maybe he did it to counterbalance how hard he trains me.”
Mia tilts her head. “That too. He wouldn’t even consider letting Blake train you. Apparently, my brother doesn’t share when it comes to you.”
“You’re seeing things that aren’t there.”
“You should stop the whole dating thing and think of something else. Honestly, I am worried about what he’ll do if Eric oversteps,” Celine says.
Abi gives me a pointed look. “What I will do. I’ll help him bury the body if something happens to you.”
“It won’t come to that.”
After last night, I realized I don’t want something fake, and maybe I am not that good of a spy. I nearly got everything I needed from Eric, anyway. Recording his voice requires one more date, and then I am done.
Leaving, I go to my room and change for dinner at the compound with my parents. I opt for a silk white blouse, beige trousers, and matching loafers, gathering my hair to one side as it falls in loose curls over my shoulder. Then I’m out the door.
Unease has always flickered in the back of my mind when I have to see my parents. The difference now is that my parents have no power over me or my life’s decisions. That is freeing and gives me the strength to push through these unavoidable dinners.
I park the car in front of my childhood home—the only real home I know. While my parents live in a penthouse in the city, I am never invited there.
I let myself in and find them in the formal dining room. They’re seated at opposite ends of the table.
“Father. Mother,” I say as I sit, and a member of the staff places a bowl of creamy mushroom soup in front of me.
While my father offers a strained nod, my mother watches me as if I were the biggest mistake of her life. It used to hurt more, but the hurt morphed into numbness with time.
Physically, I take after my mother, except she has hazel eyes. I’ve tried to find any resemblance to my father, but there’s nothing. Together, they run the media company; my father does all the work, while my mother enjoys the title, basking in the power it brings. They form the perfect power couple, and though I can’t be certain, I’m fairly sure they never wanted me. Waiting to have me six months after Celine was their form of rebellion, especially since all my friends were born within four months of each other. By pure chance, Mia and Hunter are the same age, three months older than me.
“Christine informed us of your role in the Family,” he says, not bothering to look up from his plate.
“It’s what I’m good at.”
“Whatever you do on that computer, remember you’ll lead the media company after we retire. I haven’t worked my whole life for you to ruin everything.”
“I haven’t forgotten, and I’m good at multitasking.” My voice sounds robotic—no inflection, no emotion.
“Spoken like someone who would never dedicate herself to achieving greatness.”
“If you say so, Father.”
“Such an ungrateful brat.” His hard stare accuses my mother, and she downs a glass of wine.
“Is that all?” I ask, eager to leave, hating who I become in their presence.
“Do you have better things to do than meet with your parents?” she asks haughtily.
I burst into laughter. “Actually, I do.”
They gasp. It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes at their shocked, fish-out-of-water expressions. I stand up, my appetite gone, along with my desire to spend another second in their presence.
“We didn’t excuse you,” my father says, pointing his knife at my chair.
“Why do you hate me so much?” I’m so done tiptoeing around them like I am walking on eggshells.
This question has plagued me for years, but I’ve always waited for the “right” time. There won’t ever be a good time, though. It will hurt anyway, but now I’m better equipped to face it.
The fact that they can’t answer is answer enough.
With steel in my voice, I say, “I will lead the media company and do my best.”
“You better. We haven’t worked this hard for one mistake to cost us everything,” my mother says.
The mistake, of course, being me.
“Mother, that is your problem, not mine.”
I move to leave, but my father’s voice stops me. “Stop being difficult.”
“And you stop thinking you can tell me what to do anymore.”
His brown eyes pierce mine, and I hold his gaze.
“Let’s keep up appearances for the outside world, as always. But don’t call me to dinners anymore. It’s a waste of all our time.” With that, I turn and leave.
Tears well up in my eyes. Rejection cuts deep, leaving pulsing wounds inside. While I am proud to have finally stood my ground, I mourn the parental love I have never received and never will.
As I drive away, I notice lights on at Cillian’s house, with Blake and Hunter’s cars parked outside. I pull in behind Hunter’s car, feeling drawn to go inside. His presence alone would ease my anguish, but I don’t want to intrude on his family time. I am about to start the engine again when there’s a knock on my window. Startled, I look up, and Hunter’s there, yanking the door open.
“What did they fucking do?” he asks, anger blazing in his eyes.
My shoulders droop, my chin quivering. No words come out.
He pulls me out of the car and to his chest, and I bury my face in his warmth. I wish he’d hold me and never let me go.
“It’s me. I must be the reason. I’m just not lovable enough.”
“Shut up and never think like that. Never let me bloody hear that shit again.”
I tip my face up to him, and the soft expression on his face has my heart doing acrobatics, tumbling from one corner to the other. He rubs his nose against mine, and butterflies swarm in my belly, making me lightheaded as I suck in a breath, not wanting him to stop.
“You’re lovable, Bailey. You’re the most lovable person I have ever met. Fuck your parents and whoever doesn’t see that.”
You included , I want to add, but I keep my mouth shut.
Pure emotions and raw instincts lead me. He’s the one holding me together, yet I want even more. I need him, not just to make me forget and take me somewhere else, but for him. Even his scraps nourish my starved soul.
I lift onto my toes and brush my lips against his.
“Bailey,” he groans and his minty breath dances on my lips, but he doesn’t reject me either.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” he murmurs in a low rasp. “You love to unravel me.”
With that, he crushes his mouth onto mine, and everything else disappears—it’s just him and me. Lips locked, our tongues tangle. He explores my mouth, and sensations burst from within me, coloring my insides in neon. I could get addicted to this incredible sensation—a pleasure-fueled high. Nibbling on my bottom lip, his tongue plunges back into mine—conquering, owning, seducing. I never want the kiss to end, so I kiss him back with equal fervor. His low groans only heighten the intensity of what’s happening between us.
One hand cups my cheek, the other snakes around my waist, lifting me off the ground. This is how he always makes me feel—as if I levitate above the ground, ready to sprout wings and fly.
“So sweet and tempting,” he says hoarsely as he places me down. But he doesn’t stop kissing me until we’re both out of breath.
I am still dazed when I look up at him and see his lips glistening from mine. I can’t form words. They’re trapped in my throat. I swallow the urge to tell him to kiss me again and again and again. But he places a hand on my back, urging me inside.
We kissed. We really kissed.
Mia, Blake, and Cillian are sitting around the kitchen table, and I am afraid what happened between us outside is written on my face.
“What took you so long?” Blake asks, grinning, and my cheeks heat.
Mia elbows him playfully, and Cillian gestures for the table. “So nice that you’re joining us. Hungry?”
“Yes,” but not necessarily for food, even though, given how my stomach behaves, maybe I should eat to give the butterflies a break.
The atmosphere is so different around their table that it instantly puts me at ease. There’s chatter, siblings bickering, and laughter wrapped in familiarity and love.
“So, are you two together?” his father asks. I choke on the asparagus while Hunter groans.
“Cillian, for that he needs to grow a pair,” Blake says smugly.
“You asshole.”
“Behave,” Cillian sighs as if it’s a regular occurrence.
“And she’s with someone else,” Mia adds.
“Traitor,” I mouth.
“She’s not,” Hunter says, falling into their trap.
“Pretty possessive over someone who you’re not with. Bailey, my son is a hothead, so I appreciate your patience.”
“Is this you ganging up on me?” Hunter huffs. While they’re keeping it light and teasing, he tenses, and they change the topic quickly.
“You should call Alice, son. She deserves a bit of gratitude, don’t you think?”
“I’ve been busy,” he mumbles, his grip tightening around the knife, though his face reveals nothing. His poker face is spot on.
After dinner, we move to the living room, where Mia pulls out a board game. We play for a while, but Hunter seems miles away. It’s in his gaze, traveling to the window as if there’s something there.
I place my hand on his thigh when it’s his turn to move the pawn.
“Is everything all right? I can leave,” I whisper.
“No, you’ve been the best part of tonight,” he says with a lopsided grin that could melt my heart and panties.
When we finish playing, I excuse myself, not knowing what to make of us anymore. His words still run on repeat in my head as I drive back home and get ready for bed. No wonder I can’t sleep, tossing and turning, touching my lips here and there. He kissed me, and this time, he didn’t stop himself, unlike the first time.
It’s a recurring thing: going to bed while thinking of him and waking up with thoughts of him. I’m pulled so taut that I need something to relax.
Opening my nightstand, I palm my vibrator, needing to distract myself when a memory flits through my brain.
I touch something attached to my vibrator. Scooting up, I turn on the lamp and pull it out. It’s a note.
“How often do you imagine that it’s me inside of you?”
It drops from my hands, and my heart slams into my throat. I don’t know if I should be mortified or turned on. A bit of both. He touched my vibrator.
Thank you for ruining my me time . I text him without even thinking. Stop going through my stuff.
What was it this time, kitten, that has you in need of a getting off? Should I come and make it better?
I press call. “What has gotten into you?”
“Should we up the game, kitten?”
“Hunter…”
“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you have a vibrator.”
“It’s safe, reliable, and it delivers.”
“Oh, I deliver, kitten.”
“I wouldn’t know.”
He chuckles. “What sensation do you like most?”
“We’re not talking about that.”
“It’s not because of the size, that’s for sure. I bet you never go too far because you’re a good girl, aren’t you? It’s just a bit of clit stimulation.”
“Have you been watching me?”
“You just confirmed it.”
I slap the phone down on my nightstand and push the rabbit vibrator inside the drawer. He frustrates me to no end.
We’ve been engaged in a tangled tango of back-and-forth for months now.
Maybe that’s why I struggle to do what’s needed for my mission. My heart and body have latched onto him and refuse to let him go.
***
Sitting at my desk, I go through every camera notification. There is nothing on Felix. My phone vibrates with a text from Eric.
Can’t wait for tonight, beautiful.
See you then.
I should try to put on a better show, but I can’t. There’s only one possible explanation for my reluctance: it would feel like a betrayal to Hunter, who hasn’t been around since last night. What does that mean? I have no idea what to expect. I should butcher my expectations like he does my romantic notions of us. In the past, he had no problem bursting into my room and maddening me with his presence.
It must have been a pity kiss. Aren’t girl tears the guys’ kryptonite? Everyone else is delusional, thinking there is something on his part. Because under all that brooding and grumpy exterior, he’s a good guy. So maybe he wanted to make me feel better.
It’s my fault, anyway, for showing him my vulnerable side. That’s what always prompted him to say:
I’d eat you alive.
I’d corrupt you until you’d be unrecognizable.
Stay away, Bailey.
I stayed away until the attack, and then he couldn’t stay away. The line is so blurred; no wonder I am confused.
When it’s time to go to classes, I change quickly. Plucking an apple from the fruit basket, I head to campus, ignoring that we have to come and go in pairs.
Long after the class ends, I am still going through digitizing the Family’s archives when the door shuts and Hunter stalks inside.
“Don’t do that again.”
“What? Go to class?”
“I can’t chase you around 24/7, Bailey.”
“Then stop,” I say, knowing full well he won’t. He didn’t come back last night, which made everything worse in my Hunter-sick brain. I don’t know why I thought things between us would change after that kiss. But no, let’s keep ignoring whatever this is.
This is his damn problem—always my safety. That’s his only motivation. It’s not about me. Never was. I shove my laptop into my backpack and stride over to him.
“You’re a control freak.”
“And you just figured that out now?”
I push a finger into his chest, but he remains an unmovable stone. At least become a freaking hot stone and bury me under your heat.
“We should go back to ignoring each other,” I snap.
“Fine,” he snaps back.
We glare at each other. Neither of us wants to be the one who ends the staring battle. For once, I want him to be the one who loses and gives in. It will never happen, so I turn around, but not before saying, “You’re a game I keep losing. One day, I’ll have enough, though.”
“Oh, kitten, I’ll make sure that day will never bloody come.”
We’re trapped in chaos, the two of us. The world could fall into entropy, and we’d still be fighting.
My mood takes a deep dive over the next few hours. Eric hasn’t been to classes today, but my luck ends as we have a date.
In my room, I slip into a long cashmere dress. It molds to my body with a high slit up the side. I add high heels and run my fingers through my hair for some volume. I went extra tonight so I can get a reaction out of Hunter. I want him to eat his words. Fine. I’ll show him fine. The rational part of me whispers it’s for the best, but my heart screams, wanting its pound of flesh. Rationality vanished once he crashed into my life.
“Is that a revenge dress?” Abi asks from the edge of the bed, doing her manicure. “You know Hunter is your shadow tonight, right?”
“No, it’s… He makes me crazy, Abi. This is my pathetic attempt at getting his attention.”
“I did worse things to get Dane’s attention.”
“That guy was obsessed with you since the beginning.”
“And Hunter has been conflicted about you.”
Yep, what a fairytale love story.
But I am done. Because of our proximity, the boundaries have shifted. It won’t be a problem to stay away if we’re not in each other’s space all the time.
When I walk into the living room, Hunter has a glass in his hand, and he sputters the drink. “Go change.” His intense gaze could set me on fire.
“Excuse me?”
He drains the rest of his drink, slams the empty glass on the coffee table, and marches in my direction. Gripping my chin, he leans in. “If he touches you, I’ll kill him right then and there. Don’t play games with me, Bailey.”
“Or what?”
“Test me and see what happens.”
Turning on my heel, I leave him to stew in his anger. It’s only a few moments later that I hear the front door slam and a car peel out of the driveway.
Do I change? No.
Eric gushes over me once I’m out of the house, but Hunter’s threat still echoes in my mind. I have a bad feeling, and sure enough, when we get to the restaurant, Hunter is already there with a girl.
I don’t see red, I see an inferno. It’s a wonder my flaring nostrils don’t emit fire to burn him to a crisp.
“I thought I’d never get rid of him,” Eric says, sounding relieved, but I’m too busy glaring at the brunette with Hunter. It’s clear he has a type. Why can’t I get that info to stick in my head and stop this—whatever it is: disillusion, dream, desire? My 3D of ruin. And if I add him in? 4D—the dick.
It’s a small but intimate Italian restaurant with white tablecloths and candles lit on each table. Holding my clutch in front of me, we walk through the packed dining room as the server brings us to our table. We’re seated next to Hunter and his date—a stunning brunette, with only a few inches of space separating us. Such a coincidence. Not.
“You look amazing. Love that you dressed up for me,” Eric says as I slip into my seat. Guys like him have that “I could conquer the world” confidence but lack any real substance—unshakable until things get serious, and then they run to Daddy for help.
Hunter snakes his hand up my thigh. I jump, my knee bumping into the table. I steal a glance at him, but he doesn’t even grimace.
This is going to be a long and torturous night.