Chapter 16
This emotional overload might as well bury me. I don’t fucking know what to do with myself, but it’s been one week, and her words are still stuck in my head, playing on repeat.
I had the urge to tell her that she’d marry someone else over my very dead body, but then I stopped myself. She has been focused on her training like never before, and it put some necessary distance between us. I should be fucking happy about that. I am miserable.
Every day feels like I’m walking on a tightrope, teetering above the abyss of misery. I wish I could stop fighting and just let myself fall.
It’s Bailey’s fault. I was fine until her. And now, this elephant-sized shit stomps on my chest whenever she’s in my vicinity. She’s not ignoring me, per se, just like now. She is just back in her cave, where she thinks it’s safe. I thought it would be the best for both of us. We already crossed and blurred the line. But this is a slow and never-ending torture.
What is it about her that makes me so damn weak?
What is it about her that makes me say fuck it all?
What is it about her that rattles at my walls like no one else?
I miss her smile, our banter, how she feels in my arms, our talks—everything. The withdrawal messes with me so badly I’d forsake my life for another euphoric hit.
While the rest of the group gets ready for the weekly Friday night dinner with the Matriarch, Bailey and I are stuck in the living room, keeping to opposite sides.
I lean against the window, nursing a glass of whiskey, watching her by the fireplace. She looks gorgeous in her elegant ruffled yellow one-shoulder jumpsuit, her strawberry hair side-swept, cascading in loose curls. But she could wear a burlap sack and still be the most stunning woman on this planet.
She’s focused on her phone, and I never thought it was possible to be jealous of a device, yet here we are.
The rift between us is my fault. I knew what I was doing and why I had to lie to her. She called me a coward, and if my past gets out, that’s exactly what I’ll be—a coward in everyone’s eyes. I don’t want the stigma or the label of being called a victim.
I watch her, hoping to get her attention, but nothing works. It’s like the fire in her has dimmed, crushed under my rejection. She knows I’m looking at her. It’s in her almost inaudible sigh and the scrunch of her nose. She screams “stop looking at me” without saying a word, fully committed to ignoring me.
Is this the end of us? It didn’t take much.
She might be mad at me and punish me with her silence, but I’m bound to make her explode—an undeniable fact. Just as she starts to look at me, the others walk down the stairs, oblivious to my emotional turmoil.
Bailey smiles at them while I groan a greeting, and then we all head for our cars.
She slides into Abi’s Porsche with the other girls while I get in the back seat of Kaden’s BMW.
“You’re depressing as fuck, man,” Blake sighs as we pull out of the driveway.
“Just let him be,” Kaden says. There’s a silent conversation going on just with their eyes, but I don’t care.
“It will only get worse. Just a piece of friendly advice: stop fighting the inevitable,” Dane says.
I don’t bother responding. Instead, I shove my earbuds in and blast some dubstep. But not even the broken beat, heavy drum, and low bass help ease the tension coiling inside me.
It’s Friday night. After dinner, my friends are going out, probably to The Cave. I will spend my night at the training center. Some alone time is exactly what I need, accompanied by an adrenaline rush to make me feel better.
The moment Kaden parks the car in front of the estate, I am the first out of the vehicle. Inhaling the fresh air to anchor myself, I take two stairs at a time to the front entrance.
Samuel, the butler, opens the imposing hardwood door, its surface adorned with an eagle emblem. The beak is so sharp it looks ready to pluck your eyes out.
We walk down the long hallway and into the formal dining room. I greet Cassandra and take my seat—coincidentally, right next to Bailey. She’s everywhere. Might as well accept it.
When we’re all seated, Cassandra clasps her hands together, looking at us with bright eyes. I hope she tells us she found that asshole and is gifting him to me to kill him.
“Everything is planned. You’re leaving tomorrow for your vacation,” she says excitedly.
Silence falls around the table. Cassandra exhales a long puff of air as if she expected applause. The girls share small smiles, but there’s a current of cautiousness weaving through the room. I don’t know what she thought would happen. Did she expect us to embrace the idea of taking a vacation when someone out there wants us dead?
No one around the table blatantly says no—we all knew it was coming. This damn weariness that has been settling over us is reason enough. It’s tiresome facing death threats left and right for what feels like forever.
“It’s all hush-hush,” Cassandra adds. “No one knows where you’re going.”
“Ma’am, are you sure?” Celine asks, and her mother’s eyes soften for a moment before she shifts into the matriarch of the Family.
“Yes, and it’s done. I want you to have normal life experiences. I won’t let him ruin them. There hasn’t been any more movement on Felix’s part.”
I’m about to protest, but she cuts me off. “Enough of this talk. You deserve this break, and you’re going to enjoy it.”
The first course arrives, but instead of food, the staff member lifts the silver lid to reveal a shiny, black envelope stamped with the golden eagle crest of the Family.
“This is all you need to know about what to pack,” Cassandra explains. “A van will pick you up tomorrow morning at eight o’clock.”
Curious, I reach for the envelope and open it. The instructions are cryptic, but one line stands out: Why does the ground sparkle like diamonds when it’s sunny yet cold?
It must be somewhere in the mountains. I haven’t been snowboarding in a while—maybe that will help clear my head.
***
Early the next morning, a ruckus breaks out. Abigail has packed and unpacked a hundred times already. Celine is convinced it will be cold but wants to pack some summer pieces just in case.
Mia is busy baking snacks for the trip. Blake has carried their luggage downstairs and is now eating one muffin after another, but my sister just smiles lovingly at him.
“Save some for the rest of us, will you?” I grumble.
I might have hit a new gloom record. Seeing Bailey descending the stairs with one small piece of luggage and her laptop bag maddens me.
“Leave it behind. We’re going on a damn vacation,” I snap.
She stares me down. How I’ve missed that fire. She pushes the laptop into my chest, her hand trailing down my back, skirting along the waistline of my jeans.
She gasps, her voice dripping with mock indignation. “Oh my, is that a gun?” Narrowing her eyes, her tone turns sharp. “Stop being a hypocrite.”
Her touch feels so good, and it makes me forget why we’re in this situation.
“You have your weapon, and I have mine.”
With that, she brushes past me. My hand shoots forward to grab her, knowing I shouldn’t. It hovers there, suspended, like my impossible wish. I glare at it, then force my arm back to my side.
“You’re right,” I say, my voice tight.
“So damn civil. I half expect an alien to pop out of your head.” She snickers, and I stifle my laughter.
Our eyes lock, and for a moment, I want to pull her to me and kiss her—until we’re both gasping for air. Until all I feel and see and hear is her.
My life is better with her in it. Scratch that. Everything is better when she’s even in my vicinity.
But now I’m greedy. I want more. So much more.
“Hunter,” she calls my name softly, but the effect is unmistakable. It’s like she reaches inside me, tugging at my heartstrings. “Why?”
“It’s better like this.”
“For whom?”
She slips outside, and I notice the black Mercedes Sprinter van parked out front. While I load our luggage—mine and Bailey’s—into the back, she hops in and immediately gets on her phone.
I call for the guys to let them know the van is ready, then climb inside. The van is fitted with two bench seats running along either side of the van. I sit directly in front of Bailey, and Mia slides in next to me.
It doesn’t take me long to realize what this arrangement means: one couple has to sit across from each other.
Celine moves in next to Bailey, and Kaden, without hesitation, takes the seat beside his wife. Blake follows suit, claiming the spot next to Mia. That leaves Abigail and Dane on opposite sides of the van.
Dane shoots me a “come on, man” look. With a resigned sigh, I squeeze in between Bailey and Celine while Abigail and Dane slide in together at the opposite end.
Whipped. Every single one of these idiots. I pity them.
Bailey and I sit side-by-side, the tension between us palpable. Her body is strung so tight, you wouldn’t think I know how she feels from the inside out.
“Stop being so damn stiff,” I whisper-snarl.
“You’re the one so tense you might pull a muscle.”
“That’s not true,” I grumble, and she pinches the side of my thigh, proving her point.
“I rest my case.”
“Looking pretty smug over there.”
“You’re not that hard to read,” she throws back.
We’re fully engaged in our heated battle of wills that not even the group groans and the occasional “Come on, guys” make us stop.
“Are you obsessed with me, Bailey?” I ask, leaning closer.
“It’s a miracle your ego fits in the van with the rest of us,” she shoots back, then pulls out and opens her laptop, ignoring me.
Our friends sigh dramatically when she starts one of her documentaries, but I scoot closer to her.
I raise a brow, fixing them with a hard look. “Shut up. You don’t care about wildlife, put earbuds in.”
The video is about the big five: lions, leopards, rhinos, buffalos, and elephants. It starts with the lion, the so-called king of the jungle. Personally, I think the lioness should get more credit for doing the actual work—hunting the prey and feeding the pride. The lion should be renamed the breeder of the jungle, strutting around, roaring, and fucking to prove he’s the alpha.
When we board the jet, I take the seat next to her, fully invested in the documentary now. The hours pass in a blur, and soon, we’re loading up in a helicopter.
After a short flight, the pilot lands atop a hill, steps out, and grins. “Welcome to Colorado.”
Once we hop off, we’re surrounded by thick trees that stretch endlessly toward the sky. Snowcapped mountains loom around us, with smaller hills circling in the distance. A valley stretches out below, blanketed in white, leading to a road in the distance. We’re completely alone in the middle of nature, trapped in the most iconic winter scene imaginable, with an impressive lake glistening below us.
To our left are four log cabins with glass facades that reflect the surrounding forest. In front of each one sits an ATV.
I hear my friends’ gasps and sounds of astonishment as they take in the view.
Before he departs, the pilot gives us a letter. Kaden opens it and starts reading aloud.
This is my present to you. Your loyalty and love for each other is astounding, so I bought this land for you as a group. When times get rough, come here and remember why life is worth it.
With all my love, Cassandra.
Kaden pulls Celine to his side, who snuggles into him and cries softly.
When the whooshing of the helicopter’s blades disappears and the snow settles back on the ground, silence ensues, making me believe we’re the only souls left in the world.
The snow crunches under my boots as I approach the cabins.
“There are only four,” Bailey says, searching my eyes.
There’s a flicker of panic and hope that maddens me as much as it eases me.
“We can just switch places every night,” Mia suggests, and the guys groan.
Bailey, because she’s just too damn good, says, “It’s not a problem. I am sure there is enough space for the both of us.”
I retreat behind a tree for a bit of privacy and call Cassandra. “We’re here, but I guess you forgot to mention something.”
“Is that a reproach?”
I grit my teeth. I hate it when she does that—she uses her position to get away with everything.
“Ma’am, there are just four cabins.”
“Which are big and comfortable enough. I don’t like to waste space.”
Sure.
“I am positive you can come up with a solution that will benefit you all.”
She hangs up, and I’m left pacing, frustration bubbling under the surface.
With no other option, I follow Bailey inside the last cabin on the left and catch sight of her just as she’s rounding the corner into the open living and kitchen area, where a cozy seating nook fills the corner. The fireplace and a TV screen give the space a warm, homey feel. Polished hardwood floors, black and gold lights, and accents of green add a modern touch.
She stands before the panoramic glass window, her palms pressed against it. The view beyond is breathtaking, but not more than she is. She closes her eyes against the sunlight for a second, and it’s like the rays kiss her eyelids and cheeks. I instantly groan, and she opens them.
“We should go check the rest of the space,” I sigh, coming to terms with the fact that I am fucked.
While the downstairs is an open concept, the upstairs consists of several bedrooms, one of which boasts a king-sized bed and a walk-in closet. Two armchairs and a small round table are tucked into the left corner overlooking the valley. The adjoining bathroom is donned in marble and has a generous tub and shower stall. Cream curtains frame the windows, complementing the upholstered bed, while dark green walls and a golden-and-black rug tie the room together—it feels cozy.
We move on to the two smaller bedrooms. Unlike the first, they are completely bare, stripped of any decor or furniture, though they share a connected bathroom.
She tilts her head, tapping a finger on her mouth. “You can sleep on the couch.”
“Maybe I want to sleep in the bed.”
She narrows her eyes at me and then shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
Her challenge lights me up, and I can’t resist rising to meet it and throwing in one of my own. “I will.”
Descending the wooden stairs, I chuckle to myself as I grab our luggage and carry them to the bedroom.
While she unzips hers, I go back downstairs to the kitchen. Opening the cupboards and the fridge, I find both of them stocked. I don’t know if it’s the scenery, but I’m in the mood for hot chocolate.
After preparing two mugs, I head back upstairs and see that she has unpacked our bags and put our clothes inside the closet. I offer her a cup.
“Thank you,” we say in unison, smiling at each other.
We each drink the sweet concoction, and when we’re done, we go outside to explore. On the back deck is a hot tub with a mesmerizing view of the mountains, valley, and lake and a small sauna.
“Skiing or snowboarding?” she asks, sipping but fully engrossed in the scenery.
“Snowboarding. And you?”
“Snowboarding.”
Isn’t that interesting?
“Grandmother, while she secluded us well, and we had a strict upbringing, she was adamant that we were ‘worldly.’ From winter sports to traveling to other countries, we always went on an extended vacation when school was out.”
“My mom loved winter sports, especially skiing, but the moment I put my feet on a snowboard, that was it.”
“A little rebel, aren’t you?”
While the corners of my mouth pull in a cocky smile, my heart tightens. Something must give me away because she places her soft hand on my chest and says, “It’s okay to miss her, Hunter. But you did what you loved, and from what you told me, that’s all she wanted…”
I nod, not being able to form words.
“I’m going on a hike through the forest,” she says, determined.
“Can you repeat that? I think the high altitude is making me hear things.” I even cup my ear to emphasize my point.
She pushes at my chest playfully. “I’m going to enjoy this break. Fuck Felix and my parents.”
“I love it when the claws come out, kitten.”
The atmosphere heats, making my insides burn with growing lust. My body is weak in its desire for her but also from the accumulated exhaustion of having to curb it. I beg for strength because it gets harder each passing day.
One second. Two seconds. Three seconds pass while all I have to do is incline my head, grip her waist, and mold us together—kiss and have my way with her. I feel the stitches keeping my control together loosening.
While I look at her tempting mouth and half-lidded eyes, it’s like there is a damn clock ticking toward my doom. I can withstand pretty much anything but her allure.
I am utterly screwed.
She takes a step back, removing herself from my proximity. I follow her, needing to make sure she’s safe. While it’s not a lie, it’s not the complete truth either. I’m incapable of not going after her.
She scowls, her tone biting. “I need a moment.”