Chapter 18
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It’s day one, and I am barely holding on.
What starts out innocent quickly turns into temptation. Every small gesture, every smile, touch, and challenge always makes me want more. It’s impossible to feel any differently when she’s so close. But when she’s not near, she’s still all I can think about.
I’m fucked either way.
My kitten sees through me and is now playing a different game—always keeping me on my toes. I don’t know what’s happening to me. Maybe it’s her—her being a genuinely good person—but I forget myself around her. It’s like I have this implicit trust in her. Staying away only gets harder, not easier. Once I tasted the forbidden, there was no going back. Before Bailey, everything was bland and meaningless. Now, she’s all I think about—fucking her, holding her, losing myself in her.
But she doesn’t want those terms and conditions. She shouldn’t because they’re unfair. She deserves more than I can give. Bailey isn’t anyone’s temporary ride—she’s the ultimate destination. And yet, that’s all I can offer. She can take it or leave it.
A fresh layer of snow scatters to the floor when she enters the cabin, shutting the door behind her. She distracts me, so I don’t even notice Kaden coming from around the side of his cabin, carrying an armful of logs.
“If you’re looking for another place to crash, don’t knock on my door,” Kaden says from my right.
Asshole. I grab my own set of logs—anything to keep my hands occupied.
“Hunter,” he says, his voice etched with sincerity.
I rake a hand through my hair, strung so tight I might break apart any moment. “What?”
“Without Celine, I don’t fucking care about anything else. Everything I do is for her. Her love keeps me balanced. Stop being a one-man show. Bailey got under your skin, and you can’t pry her out.”
“I’m protecting her, but I am the worst thing that could happen to her.”
“Let her make that choice. I ruined my relationship once, thinking I knew better. The misery is not worth it.”
With that, he leaves while I walk inside our cabin, carrying the logs to the fireplace. As I light the fire, the flames flicker and dance before my eyes, but they don’t heat that frozen part inside me—only Bailey can do that.
Soft music pours through the sound system, and I nearly fall on my ass when Bailey comes down the stairs wearing a two-piece swimsuit that leaves nothing to the imagination. Saliva pools in my mouth.
It’s red with golden hoops, a scrap of material molding to her perfect body. She looks sexy as fuck in it, but all I want is to peel it off her—with my bare teeth.
I am instantly hard, and I groan while she approaches me, eyeing me coyly. She doesn’t possess an ounce of self-preservation, or she doesn’t care because her favorite pastime is driving me insane.
She pulls her hair into a bun and sashays outside. “I’m getting into the hot tub.”
“Is that an invitation?”
She rolls her eyes at me. “No. It’s a warning to stay away from me.”
I move to the couch, settling in with a perfect view of her through the floor-to-ceiling glass at the back of the house. Pouring myself a tumbler of whiskey, I open a chess app on my phone.
Over time, I have tried to occupy my mind and body. Fighting keeps my body and mind sharp, but chess trains my brain in patience and strategy. The world disappears around me when I am engrossed in the game. I once needed that kind of escape, but now it’s more of a hobby. And I fucking love to win.
I’ve just cornered my opponent with a checkmate after eight moves when I glance up. Bailey’s still in the hot tub, but I need to check on her, so I slip outside. The night’s crisp air freezes my breath. The Milky Way stretches over the sky, painting an image of mystery. Not even that keeps my mind occupied for long. Her head leans against the edge of the tub, her eyes closed. She’s asleep.
This girl will make me age prematurely. Either gray hairs or a heart attack are in my near future. Summoning patience, I rush upstairs to grab a towel and throw it on the bed before hurrying downstairs.
Leaning over the hot tub, I slide my hands under her knees and waist. Scooting her up, I carry her inside. She’s still fast asleep, sighing contentedly as I carefully place her down and dry her gently so as not to wake her up. I want her to know only peace. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her just like this—safe.
Tugging at the straps of her top, I unclip the front snap and remove it. Then I move between her legs and slide the bikini bottoms down her smooth legs, tossing the wet fabric to the floor. She’s flawless, pure perfection, and an unblemished beauty. I ache to trace my lips over every tiny freckle, dive into her scent, and never resurface.
If she didn’t want me to undress her, she shouldn’t have fallen asleep in the damn hot tub. We are so going to fight about this tomorrow.
I don’t bother checking her side of the walk-in closet. Instead, I grab a T-shirt of mine and slip it over her head. As it settles over her, she whispers my name, making me feel all sorts of things. As if that’s not bad enough, how she looks wearing my T-shirt—like she’s mine.
Without thinking, I take a picture of her before I climb into bed on the right side, the spot closest to the door. I keep some physical distance between us, trying to hold onto a shred of self-control. That’s my last thought as sleep pulls me under.
When I wake up, it’s a completely different story. We’re a mess of tangled limbs. My head is buried in her hair, her weight half-leaning into my side. One of my arms is draped over her ass, and her legs are trapped beneath mine. Even in sleep, I am fucking possessive of her.
Her head rolls to the side, resting against my forearm, and her lashes flutter—so long and perfectly curved. My eyes trace the twelve freckles scattered across her face. Her heart-shaped mouth parts with a satisfied sound.
She’s a deep sleeper, which means I can take a few more moments of unobstructed ogling.
I wish I could have met her before another woman fucked me up.
For a long time, I thought I had lost my trust and dignity, but the first came naturally with Bailey, while the latter, I steadily built back up.
If I spend too much time in my head, I want to destroy Alice for what she did to me. She is the fucking predator, and while I should end her and her career, if I expose her, my father will think it’s his fault, and my sister will blame herself. It already happened, so why would I dig that bloody rotten corpse out of my closet?
“Where have you gone?” Bailey asks me in a soft voice, eyeing me intently. I was so deep in thought I missed the moment she woke up. Fuck my dark memories.
“In my bloody nightmare,” I say, shutting my eyes, wanting it gone already. I scoot up and hunch over, chest rocking with a pant. She’s stroking my back gently. I need to pick a fight, something to regain control.
“I carried you upstairs and undressed you last night because you had to fall asleep in the hot tub. So not one word why—”
She cuts my rant short, wrapping her arms around my torso and kissing the spot between my shoulder blades. “Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”
“You offering what you’ve been denying me? What I want from you is your cunt, and we both know it.”
I am deliberately crass, hoping she will cuss at me and leave me alone to spar with my demons. I am a damn asshole who doesn’t deserve her kindness, her beauty, her presence.
“I will find out who hurt you, and I’m going to make it hurt even worse.”
She gets out of bed, leaving me shocked to my bones.
“Your shirt, huh?” she asks, completely changing the topic.
“I like you in my stuff,” I say, giving up for now. “I said a truckload of shit… I’m sorry.”
“I know because you’re so desperate to keep me out…when all I want is in.”
“There’s nothing inside, angel. If there were, I’d give it to you,” I say the truest words I have ever said to her—to anyone.
Her aquamarine eyes bore into mine, stripping me bare. Then, without hesitation, she moves toward me.
Straddling my lap, she palms my face with both hands. “I don’t think we’ll be able to fight this forever—whatever it is between us.”
I know.
She consumes me—body and soul. No wonder my dick gets painfully hard, wanting inside her heavenly core. The promise of that euphoric release only she can give me sets my insides on fire.
“You’re hard,” she expels a sound that matches my own lust.
I chuckle, my fingers brushing down her sides and gripping her ass cheeks.
She bites down on her bottom lip. “I really want to give in…”
“Then why don’t you?” Put us both out of our misery already.
“Because if I lose the physical battle with you, you won’t give me a chance to fight for the part I want most…”
“What do you want from me, Bailey?” Every fiber of my being yearns to give her whatever she desires.
“Something I never thought I wanted… your heart. The one thing you refuse to give me.”
“It’s worthless. Trust me.” I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment.
She tilts her head, caressing my cheeks. “You don’t have to promise me forever, but give us a chance.”
My gaze bores into hers. “But you deserve more.”
“Stop telling me what I deserve. I have two roads in front of me, and while I think I’d like the one where I grow old alone more, if the Family needs me, I will accept an arranged marriage.” She shrugs, her head dropping. “I am fine with that…”
I brush my nose against her cheek, and our eyes lock.
“Never be fine with that.” She won’t get to enjoy her married life anyway because I will kill her husband before they can consummate the marriage.
“What about you?”
It’s you or no one— the truth blasts inside my walls.
“No woman could handle my messed-up self—my possessiveness, my need for control.”
Her brows arch, nearly reaching her hairline. “Really? You can’t think of anyone?” she teases, dangling herself before me like bait.
My fingers dig into her waist, torn between wanting to get her off me and holding on even tighter.
She crosses her arms around my neck, her tongue poking out, tracing the contour of my lips. “For the duration of our stay, just let me live my dream.”
“Okay, but that’s it.” The words fly out of my mouth before my brain could veto them.
Tiny stars shine in those aquamarine eyes of hers, just as unique as she is.
“Give me all you’ve got. I want to take you as you are. No holding back.”
It’s like she’s testing me to see how far I would go and testing herself to see how much she could take. This is not just dangerous territory; it’s sprinkled with blasting powder, and we’re one spark away from exploding. Neither of us will come out of this unscathed.
My knuckles brush against her neck, down the valley of her breasts. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
I nibble along the side of her neck, then graze my teeth down her earlobe, wanting to show her the power I have over her. It’s an incomparable high as she melts under my touch.
I can’t take my eyes off her as this untamable hunger spreads through me, needing to be satiated. It throbs under my skin, turning my insides feral for a bite of her.
“The way you look at me, Hunter,” she rasps.
“How am I looking at you?” I ask, my voice hoarse with desire.
“Like you want to devour me whole.”
“I want to do so much more than that. Own your pleasure, consume your thoughts, fuck myself into your soul, take you so hard and deep you’ll want to beg me to stop. But it will be too late by then because I will have turned you into my little slut… my good girl who just craves my cock. You should be terrified of me, kitten.”
“I am… terrified of how much I want you and how turned on I am.”
“It’s not a good idea.” But the voice of reason is more of a distant echo. My resolve splinters, the pieces crashing at my feet, knowing that I need inside of her.
“Probably,” she murmurs, biting her lower lip.
“I’m trying here.” And failing.
“Stop trying, and give us a chance to explore this.” She trails her lips along my jaw, kissing down my neck, stirring the lava to flow through my veins. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
In one swift movement, I have her on her back, tugging the T-shirt over her head. Nerves and curiosity flicker in her eyes. God, I love how expressive she is.
Towering over her, I pull off my boxer briefs, throwing them to the side. As she licks her lips, I jerk my stone-hard cock up and down. Only her pussy could make the ache better. But before that, I want that sassy mouth of hers wrapped around my cock.
“Get on your knees and suck me off.”
It does something fierce to me when she immediately obeys. Seeing her on her knees for me fuels my desire.
“Only for me. Only like this. You don’t kneel for anything or anyone else.”
She nods, placing her palms on my thighs and looking up at me. “I want this to be good for you.”
“You can’t possibly do anything that won’t please me. Do you want to suck me off?”
“I do, but I am not sure I’m any good—”
I cut her off by placing my cock on her lips.
“It’s just you and me.”
A big smile stretches the corners of her mouth. “And your hard cock, apparently.”
I can’t hold back—I chuckle. She looks pretty smug that she pulled that reaction out of me. With her, it’s just different. Good. Playful. Meaningful. There’s no need to prove to myself. With her, I can just let go and feel.
There’s this urge to instruct her, but I am more curious to see what she will do. Tentatively, she sticks her tongue out, and that first contact sends a jolt of pleasure through me; it almost knocks me off my feet.
It must come naturally for her to undo me with a small touch and a bloody lick. While she thinks there have been others, it’s just her for me, the only one who gives me pleasure. No wonder I’m constantly breaking my word.
She probes the small slit with her tongue. Fuck, she decimates my composure. My hand wraps around her hair, pushing her head back to my cock, desperate for more of that Bailey-infused pleasure.
“You like that?” she asks, her eyes taking in my every reaction.
“I enjoy fucking everything you do to me,” I groan.
Eyes locked, my heart beats a rhythm that spells her name, freaking the fuck out of me. I can’t stop it. Looking at my cock in her mouth does things to me, and so does her wanting to please me. And please me, she does as she tentatively licks the vein on my shaft. With every second, she grows bolder, as if she knows exactly how to suck me off. I buck, my knees weakening.
“You’re so fucking good at this,” I grit out, jerking her head back.
Her eyes soften as she licks her lips. “You don’t have to be jealous. There has been no one else but you.”
And never will be . That thought almost topples me over, but she takes more of me in her mouth, and everything else vanishes.
As much as I want to see how far she’ll go, there’s another side of me—one that just wants to protect her above all else.
“You’re always gentle, Hunter,” she whispers.
“Don’t you want me to be?” I am so afraid to hurt her because, strangely, I just want to please her as well.
“I want you, all of you. Please…”
“Open wide and breathe through your nose if it gets to be too much.”
I come apart, unleashing that hidden side of me. Tears stream down her cheeks as she gags, her beautiful face taking on a rosy expression as I fuck her mouth, hitting the back of her throat. I am not even halfway in. She hums around my cock, the vibration sending wave after wave of pleasure rolling through me.
“My dirty kitten likes her mouth fucked rough.”
I pull out to give her a breather, and she greedily sucks air into her lungs before she goes back to sucking me. One hand digs into my ass while with the other, she grips my base and simultaneously sucks and jerks me off.
I forget my own damn name as I come a bit, and it takes everything in me to hold the rest in.
I jab my teeth in my bottom lip, groaning. “You’re my demise, aren’t you?”
She doesn’t seem apologetic but victorious as she continues sucking, nibbling, licking, and pumping my length. Playing with the barbells, not neglecting to explore my piercing, she creates a rhythm that sends pleasure straight to my shaft. But watching her squirm and clench her thighs as I fuck her mouth makes me shoot another load.
“Sucking me off is making you hot… Such a good kitten.”
She bobs her head in a nod, and I say, “Play with your cunt. Make it ready for my cock.”
“It so is…”
That sass of hers. I push back inside of her, reaching her throat.
“Even with a mouth full of cock, you sass me. I should fuck that throat of yours and teach you a lesson.”
I expect to see apprehension, yet it’s curiosity and so much trust reflecting in her eyes.
Slipping inside her throat, it’s sheer ecstasy. I throw my head back once I’m all in, her lips kissing my pubic bone.
“Jesus Christ, kitten. I think I died and went straight to heaven.”
She takes all of me so well, with no tremor of panic nor tapping for me to stop. She takes what I give her, wanting and trusting me. It is so potent that I can’t hold back.
“I’m going to come. Tap my thigh if you don’t want to swallow my cum.”
She doesn’t, and I erupt, coming so hard my vision blackens for a moment.
Pulling halfway out, she licks me clean and places a soft kiss on the head of my cock. Ensnared by her sex-glazed eyes, I caress her cheek. I cup the side of her face—she’s the sight I want to see every time I come.
“Fuck, Bailey. That was phenomenal.”
A radiant smile brightens her face. “Thank you.”
“I should be the one thanking you, kitten.”
“No need. I like sucking you off.”
My cock jerks at that, and I pull her up, crushing my mouth against hers. She opens up, kissing me with equal ardor. I lift her off the floor and place her on the edge of the bed. Setting myself between her legs, I spread them open. Saliva gathers in my mouth as I gaze upon her beautiful cunt, glistening with wetness.
“Is that for me?” I ask, my voice sounding hoarse, betraying my lust.
A blush covers her cheek, but she nods.
I brush my thumb along her slit, which has her eyes rolling back. “Kitten, I’m going to fuck the shyness out of you.”
A moan escapes her lips while I play with her.
“This is my fucking cunt, and she gets wet just for me.”
“Just for you.” She looks at me with so much emotion and heat. I don’t know how I lived before seeing that look, but now that I have, I crave it more than my next breath.
Lowering my face between her thighs, I take a few seconds to admire her pink, soft pussy, but my hunger overcomes me. I bury my face in her heavenly folds, lapping at her like the starved man I am. Her juices are my personal mana, nourishing me and drugging my senses. I am addicted, completely hooked on her.
She writhes beneath me, but I hold her down with my palms on her waist, indulging in my favorite taste. I could feed off her juices and never be hungry again. I nibble, then bite into her clit.
Her body vibrates with a tremor. “This… it feels… oh my god. Please… don’t stop. Please, Hunter.” Her sweet voice is half whine, half pleading, pumping me with satisfaction. I feel invincible, like I could conquer the world. No need, though; she’s my ultimate win. I won’t stop until I drink her up and get my fill.
Look at my sassy woman begging for my tongue when I have my mouth on her. I continue fucking her with my tongue while pushing two fingers inside of her. Curling them, I suck on her clit. Her body contorts, telling me she’s going to come. Her feet dig into my back, her fingers fist the sheet, and her head thrashes from side to side.
“Look at me, Bailey. Always look at me when you come.”
With a dazed expression and glazed-over eyes, she finds mine. “There’s this pressure… it’s strange, like I need to pee.”
“You won’t pee. Trust me. Don’t hold it back.”
But just to be sure, I eat her out with uncontainable passion, sucking on her clit and tonguing her pussy, eager to experience her orgasm.
She shouts my name as she comes—it’s a wet explosion, raining down on my face and dripping from my chin.
Fucking hell, she really squirted .
Enraptured, I take in her thighs, drenched in her release and the small puddle on the floor.
“Oh, I’m so—”
“Don’t you ever fucking say sorry for the hottest experience of my life. You squirted, love. And it was phenomenal. Your pussy and I are going to have so much fun.”
Now that I know she can squirt, I’ll have her do that repeatedly.
I need inside of her like it’s my destiny to fill her up, mold us together—cement myself into her being. That it’s only me she wants and knows.
With one push, I bury myself to the hilt inside of her hot core. Her moans mix with my groans while our bodies give in to a carnal frenzy. It’s never enough. Every pull has me wanting to push back in. Every thrust is a testament to how utterly mad I am about her.
Her fingernails scrape along my back.
“Mark me, kitten. It would only be fair because I’m going to shape this sweet cunt to my cock and no one else’s.” This possessiveness splinters my sanity, turning me into a beast.
I am insatiable. I could fuck her for days and nights on end, and it wouldn’t be enough. Placing her legs over my shoulders, I roll my hips, going even deeper inside of her, and she lets out the longest moan.
“Too much?” I ask, and she bites into her bottom lip.
“It never is while it is… I don’t even know…”
Her words tug at the corner of my mouth, and I smirk. I fuck her like this until I switch positions, taking her with me. I sit on my ass and grip her ass cheeks, holding on to her as we move in perfect synchrony. This is more than fucking, but again, it’s always more with her—teetering on the edge of the unknown.
Her pretty, cherry nipples are right in my face, and I dip my head, sucking on one gently before I bite it and move to the other. Her eyes glisten, and her entire face radiates, illuminating me from the inside.
“What is this?” she asks, completely dazed.
“Madness.”
Clamping her pussy muscles, she throws her head back. While she comes, I nibble on her neck, feeling her rapid pulse. Her body goes lax, and she kisses me lazily, but I am not done with her. I’ll never have enough of her. I push her back and roll her onto her belly.
“Grip the headboard. Just a bit longer, my beautiful girl. You’re doing so good, kitten.”
She does, even though her sluggish moves are a clear sign she’s tired.
My hands splay on her waist, and my hungry eyes travel down her slender back. I kiss along her spine, placing a kiss on each ass cheek before parting them. How can it be that I have her splayed open for me, mine to do whatever I please with, and it’s not enough? I have a perfect view of her rosy, puckered asshole and tiny pussy.
I spit into her crack, letting it slide down her perfect cunt.
She startles, my jumpy kitten, and then she eyes me over her shoulder as I thrust inside of her. The movement is so hard and fast that it propels us forward, making the headboard hit the wall with every thrust. That thumping mixed with her crying out my name, ignites my need to chase my release, and when I do, I pump all my cum inside of her. There’s one certainty in my life: she slipped through a small crack in my chest and took the reins, controlling everything inside me.
I crash onto the bed and hold her to my chest. We both breathe heavily—always so damn intense.
I brush a few strands from her face and kiss the tip of her nose. “How are you?”
“I can’t move. I think my insides underwent a metamorphosis and are jelly now.”
The biggest grin stretches the corners of my mouth. “Stroke my ego, angel. I love to hear how fucking you can do that.”
“Stars. Did I mention stars? Like I saw a bunch of them. Or were they galaxies?”
She’s so damn pure, that I want to shield her away from the horrors of life. She’s too good for this world, for this life—for me.
Like my chest is her place, she rests her arm on it. Propping her chin, she watches me intently as she flattens a line between my brows.
“I am too fucked up for you. Too dark and jaded while you’re a beam of light. My darkness craves to feed off you. I will consume you because I’ve corrupted you already.” A deep sigh rolls out of me, wishing it would be different.
“Hunter, it’s my choice. I let you corrupt me, and I am here because I want that too.”
That’s the perfect summary. She’s not only willing, but eager for all I can offer her.
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not fucking afraid of anything,” I say too quickly and harshly—entirely defensive.
She sighs. “It’s okay to be afraid of something.”
“What are you afraid of?”
She pins me with a look that says she’s onto me, changing the subject.
“Of never getting to know what love feels like, of perpetuating a loveless marriage, afraid to be a bad mother because I didn’t have a good role model.”
“So, you want those things?” I gulp, the words scraping at my dry throat.
“Of course, I want all of it at some point—to have what I never had, but it won’t happen…” She shrugs. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m just not lovable enough.”
That sadness clinging to her reply makes me want to destroy this world and build one from scratch where she only knows love.
I wish I could be the man for her, fulfilling all her dreams and giving her the family she never had. But I’d be damned if she won’t have that. I’ll make sure of it, even if it won’t be with me.
“And you’re afraid to commit, Hunter. Because you lost your mom, and then something happened to you to make you lose trust.”
She reads me as if she is the one who wrote the pages of my life.
“So sure, Bailey?” I say through a clenched jaw.
“No, but you’re not cruel. It’s not in your nature. You’re protective, and a big softie is underneath that hard exterior. I wish you could trust me enough to know I would never hurt you.”
“Those are big words. We’re just fucking.”
“Yeah, just fucking,” she says, dejection dripping from her tone and pouring acid on me.