Chapter 22
Permissions are a must.
I smoothed a hand down my dark brown shirt and took a deep breath. I had yet to lay eyes on Wyn since the ground-shaking kiss, and I needed to confirm what happened had actually occurred, that what I felt was returned, that this wasn’t a fluke Wyn would deny now that we’d separated for a few hours.
If Wyn denied me or ran away, I had no idea what I would do. My feelings for him were… impossible to describe. He was simply the most wonderful person I’d ever met, and I wished to get to know him more—better. But more than that, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Wyn.
Some might say this was far too soon for me to feel as I did, and yet what was time weighted against emotion? What were a few weeks in comparison to the rest of my life? Nothing. Wyn was my soul, and I couldn’t change that, nor would I if it was even possible. I cared about him far too much.
“NAID,” I called, looking at the screen in the shared space of my quarters.
Its usual blue silhouette appeared, but it wasn’t alone.
Edith flashed beside NAID. Her towering blue curls and wrinkled skin were impossible to miss even though she was gone in a blink of an eye.
I fought a growl. I’d forbidden Edith from infiltrating the Admiral Ven’s systems, and yet she’d chosen not to heed me.
“Yes, Commander?” NAID asked, expression blank and seemingly unbothered by its sentient counterpart.
“Where is Lieutenant Wyn?”
“In cargo bay four.”
“Thank you. That will be all.”
NAID vanished from sight, but Edith returned, giving me a mischievous smile. Once again, I couldn’t help but wonder if Caleb and Edith Smith of Earth were similar, because Edith the sentient NAID bore many striking similarities to Caleb. Or perhaps they were both outgoing, happy beings.
“I believe I told you to not worm your way into the Admiral Ven’s systems,” I commented, giving Edith a level look.
My tone and expression did nothing to her. She grinned and bounced across the screen. “I’m aware, and I told you I cannot leave my family for over two years.”
“You are not leaving them, Edith,” I replied.
“You are still free to contact them, and they you, but you do not have leave to integrate into the Admiral Ven. It is dangerous for you, NAID, and the passengers on board. As commander of this ship, it is my duty to protect each and every person on this vessel, and you are actively endangering them.”
Her smile fell, and her eyes darted down. “I’m not trying to cause trouble.”
Part of me highly doubted that. Edith often liked to make trouble.
She and Seth were an odd combination together, but it had to be said that the two of them did cause havoc at times.
Edith knew better, unlike Seth—though my uncle and aunt had had many conversations with Seth over the three cycles he’d been mated to Kalvoxrencol.
“I need you to stop. Do not make me report you to Captain Talvax and the Cohort.”
She flushed.
“You’re my friend,” I told her honestly. “Allow me the honor of protecting you and everyone else here.”
Edith finally lifted her gaze. “I understand, Commander. And you’re my friend too.”
I gave her a serene smile. “I’m glad to hear it. Now, will you retreat from the Admiral Ven’s systems?”
“I will. I promise. Though,” she said with a grin, “I plan to remain in Kalvoxrencol and Seth’s quarters.” Before I could say anything against her plan, she continued, “You can’t deny me that. Besides, I needed to monitor Bob at all times to ensure nothing happens to him.”
Oh, that little kit was going to be well loved and well guarded for his entire life. I conceded, “Kalvoxrencol’s quarters and nowhere else, Edith. If I find out you’ve lied to me, I will be very hurt and I shall have to report this.”
“I’m not lying. Scout’s honor.”
My brow crinkled for a moment before I regained control of my facial features. I had no idea what a scout had to do with honor, but I trusted her and ended the conversation.
In truth, I should report Edith to the Council of Seekers.
There was some concern about her independence.
There had been different occurrences of computers who’d gained sentience and killed or enslaved whole civilizations.
I truly didn’t think that was something Edith would do, and yet, I didn’t blame those who held that particular worry.
Edith was strong because of her connection to NAID, and NAID controlled every aspect of our life. If Edith turned on us, we would be hard-pressed to survive.
But the worry had never come to me. Edith adored Seth and his son.
They were dear to her in a way the rest of us were not.
Edith would never become an unfeeling monster, because of how it would harm them.
At her core, I truly believed Edith was a kind and gentle person.
I couldn’t imagine her doing anything to harm us.
Pushing those concerns out of my mind, I headed toward the lift.
My soul throbbed in anticipation. Wyn. I was going to see Wyn.
It was perhaps wiser to ping him and check if he wished to see me, but I couldn’t bring myself to.
What if he said no? I would respect his decision, but I wanted to have the advantage of seeing him in person.
My feet beat a quick path to the cargo bay, and I remained outside for a moment, straightening my hair and clothes. I was being ridiculous, and still, I was helpless against the instinct thrumming inside of me. I needed to see Wyn, yes, but I wanted to look nice for him too.
The door slid open with a low whoosh, and my breath rushed out of me at the same instant. Wyn was seated on the hard floor, absorbed with something on his screen. His light pink hair hung in silky strands around his small frame, and one of his wings was stretched wide.
My eyes automatically darted to his other wing, and I paused. It was small. The more I looked, the more damage I found to the wing, though from its diminished size, I knew the issues had to be from birth, not an accident.
My Wyn had never flown.
Something inside of me broke at that thought.
I quite loved flying, as did every drakcol; it was integral to our existence.
Even on Tamkolvanlokol, there were no lifts, only staircases equipped with wide channels for flying, and in some places, there were no stairs whatsoever.
All of the stores and homes had large balconies to land on.
He would have to walk the streets like the flightless strangers who visited the homeworld.
I put a stop to the pitying thoughts. Seth and Caleb, as well as countless other humans, didn’t fly, and they were not strangers, nor were they unhappy. Wyn would no doubt reject my pity, and he didn’t need it. I had read his records myself, and Wyn was an accomplished officer and skilled fighter.
But most of all, he was Wyn.
I started when Monqilcolnen sat across from me with a gentle smile. It was different from his usual mask—not that he was expressive, but it was still different. I liked it. I wanted to scoff as well as smack my head. I liked so much about Monqilcolnen.
“Don’t hide, please,” he whispered.
I raised my head to meet his gaze, and the mask was back in place. I replied, “I’m not.”
It was a lie, which he very well knew, because he gave a breathy chuckle that sent jolts of awareness from the tip of my head to my toes, which curled.
He gently dragged his claws through my free hair, and I swallowed.
The urge to run from him was nowhere to be found, but the need to curl up into a ball on his lap was so powerful I had to fight to remain motionless.
“You are very lovely,” he muttered.
I offered him my throat in concession. Many had told me so. It was unsurprising Monqilcolnen found me attractive, though it was gratifying in a way I’d never experienced before.
Monqilcolnen withdrew his hand, and I whined. He gave me a broader smile, though he rested his hands in his lap.
“We need to discuss permissions,” he said.
My wings fluttered as pleasure danced in my stomach. I wanted his permission. I wanted to take his hand and lead him to his bedroom where he could fuck me until we both forgot our names.
When my wings fluttered again, my stomach dropped, though I made myself straighten.
Monqilcolnen had to have noticed them. He glanced at my wings, not ignoring their existence like some who were uncomfortable did, but he didn’t remark on them, nor did he stare.
I was unsure of how he felt, because his expression gave nothing away.
“I would like permissions," I said, my voice dropping to a whisper as my wings hugged my shoulders and my tail coiled around my ankle. “If you are interested.”
I hated the shame coursing through me. I had no reason to feel it, and I thought I’d worked through my old feelings.
This feeling didn’t belong to me; it couldn’t.
With other fuck partners, or potential partners, I should say, I couldn’t have cared less if they had been put off by my wings.
I’d merely cut their presence out of my life if they’d been rude or disrespectful or treated me as an infant.
But something about Monqilcolnen was different. He wasn’t just a fuck partner. He had the potential to be more, which terrified me and excited me at the exact same moment. Still, I couldn’t be ashamed just because of my wings—just because I was different than a majority of the Drakcon population.
He slid closer to me until only a hair separated our folded legs. “I am very interested, Wyn. So desperately interested.”
If that was true, then we needed to get a certain conversation out of the way before I wasted my time on permissions.
“It happened in utero,” I said.
“I’m afraid you’ve changed the conversation too rapidly for me to follow.”
“My wings.”
“I understand.”
“Genetic.” I clutched my elbows while my tail strangled my ankle.
“I can’t fly.” I held up a hand before he could speak.
“I have flown with past partners before. My size makes it easy for others to fly with me. And yes, I enjoyed it. And no, you do not have to offer to fly with me. Though if you want to, I would enjoy that.”
“You have had this conversation before,” Monqilcolnen commented.
“Many times.”
“Then you should tell me what else you wish me to know.”
“I don’t need pity. I don’t need help. I don’t need miracle cures. I don’t need anyone telling me how best to care for myself. And I don’t need anyone hovering over me, protecting me. I am an adult who can take care of myself.”
“I agree,” he replied.
“You do?”
“Yes, why wouldn’t I?”
“Because many don’t,” I said.
“I will admit, I had no knowledge of your wing, and it did take me by surprise,” Monqilcolnen said. “But Wyn, you are you, and I like you.” He gestured to my wing. “Your wing is a part of you and it does not deter me in the slightest nor change how I see you.”
My soul vibrated in my ears, threatening to rip free of the confines of my chest. “How do you see me?”
His voice dropped to a husky murmur. “As an intelligent seeker who can defeat me in hand-to-hand combat, as well as the most attractive person I have ever seen, who is kind and gentle and also fiercely protective of those who are his.”
“And do you consider yourself among those people?” I asked, barely audible. I’d claimed him, and I’d meant it. I wanted to court Monqilcolnen, and I didn’t wish to share him.
“I do.”
Something inside of me expanded almost painfully, making me smile so broadly I feared my scales would break.
Monqilcolnen slowly lifted his hand, and when I didn’t move, he rested it on my cheek. “You, Wyn, most definitely own me.”
I liked the thought of that a great deal.
“Can we now discuss permissions?”
The seductive curl of want burning a hole in my gut wanted me to say no and tackle him.
I needed Monqilcolnen desperately, but I was more than instincts and needs.
Drakcol of the past had taken what they wanted without thought or question, destroying lives, and I refused to be like them.
We were not the warring culture of our past; we had bettered ourselves, and I hoped we would continue to grow and evolve into kinder people.
“I would like that.”