Chapter 23
Now down to the details.
Monqilcolnen was sitting so close, and he smelled so good.
It was a musky, tangy scent I wanted to rub all over myself.
We should be talking about permissions, but all I could do was stare at him as I uncurled and curled my hands on my thighs.
It was a struggle to keep myself from attacking him.
He appeared to be having the same problem, because his chest was heaving as he was panting.
“We should—” I broke off because his eyes darted down to my lips. “Monqilcolnen,” I whispered, breathless.
“None of that, or I will not be able to have a civilized conversation, which we need to do first.”
I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself, but all it did was flood my lungs with his intoxicating scent. “What do you want?”
“You,” he replied, and I groaned.
“This is not working well.”
He laughed, and it twisted my insides to knots. “You’re right.”
Monqilcolnen scooted away from me, and I growled. He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t stop moving until he was almost across the cargo bay from me. It was much too far, though I started to think clearer with him not right beside me.
I wanted Monqilcolnen with almost a feral intensity that surprised and scared me. I knew where this path was leading. Either I would walk it to completion or I needed to turn around now. This was a choice that must be made before either of us was injured.
Also, Monqilcolnen was from a much higher class than I. Technically, the class system had been abolished long ago, but it was etched into our culture. We were still subject to it. Monqilcolnen and I would never escape the looks and whispers. Was being by his side worth such a life?
Monqilcolnen cocked his head, sending his starlight hair over his broad shoulders. His eyebrows drew together as worry plucked in the depths of his eyes.
I knew my answer, and I did not even have to think on it very long or hard.
“I want you as well.”
“How?” he asked, his voice rising into a teasing lilt. “You’re unreadable.”
I chuckled, ducking my head. “I want you. Your friendship. Your body. Your everything. I wish to court you.”
He took a huge gulping breath, his tail thrashing. “Thank you. I want that as well.”
This was a step toward permanence—one we were taking together.
“What do you want right now? How do you wish to be touched?” he asked.
“Well, that depends on if we’re fucking or not.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I generally only like being touched when I’m fucking or leading up to it. Other than that, I’m not very physically affectionate. And I don’t usually stay after I’m done.”
His expression dropped, but the disappointment vanished quickly under his serene mask. However, I knew what I’d seen. He couldn’t hide from me anymore than I could from him.
“You are different, aren’t you?” I asked. Most people were. I was unsure of where my touch aversion came from, but I’d never liked it, even as a child. It wasn’t as if my caretakers had harmed me—they had been kind and loving—I simply didn’t enjoy being touched.
“I am,” Monqilcolnen said carefully. “I’m exceedingly physically affectionate. I like to snuggle, and hug, and kiss when there’s no fucking involved.”
“We are not going to work, are we?”
“We are,” he replied. “I’ll simply adjust.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I want you, Wyn. I need you,” he said, practically growling, and my soul trembled. “Please let us try, at least.”
“I can also try and adjust.” Though, honestly, I was unsure if I would ever be snuggly, but we could come to a compromise.
“So how do you wish to be touched?”
The conversation centered around that for several minutes as we hashed out what we were both comfortable with while meeting each other’s needs. In the end, we settled on tail holding, occasional side hugs, and Monqilcolnen was permitted two spontaneous kisses a day.
“Did you wish to fuck at this point in our relationship?” I wanted to. I wished we could immediately retreat to his room and fuck this instant.
“I would like that.”
I released a long breath. “As would I. So, permissions. I’m very comfortable with many things.
I do like to fuck often. I’m usually the one who is fucked, but I would enjoy fucking you.
I like to be spanked, tied up, and I don’t mind pain.
I like being bitten a great deal. I also enjoy being teased and made to wait. ”
Monqilcolnen grinned. “You and I are well suited. I prefer to be the one who fucks. I do not enjoy being spanked, or tied up, or teased, but I do love doing it to others.”
“Truly?”
“Yes,” he replied. “I also need to be held afterward. I have to have that, Wyn.”
“I can hold you,” I said, and I meant it.
He smiled. “I like to be treasured and cared for.”
That was something I could do with practice. I was sure of it. I had never done that before, but I could learn.
“What do you dislike?” I asked.
“Pain is not a favorite of mine. I also don’t enjoy being degraded.”
“I do, a bit, but I don’t need it,” I said. “I’m fine either way with it.”
“I don’t mind doing that to you, but I might not be good at it,” he replied, and I shuffled as my cock started to firm up with the thought of Monqilcolnen practicing his degradation talk on me.
His gaze flicked down, and he smirked, making my cock harden the rest of the way and press against my trousers.
Monqilcolnen’s grin broadened, and I couldn’t stop the groan that slipped from somewhere deep inside of me.
I was addicted to his smile already. It had taken basically no time, but here I was sitting in a cargo bay wanting more. I needed more. I needed him. Now.
Monqilcolnen cleared his throat, tail thrashing.
“Not yet,” he murmured, as if he could read my thoughts.
Perhaps he could. I didn’t know what his inner fire was.
Mine was one of the most common ones, which was hardly surprising, but with his lineage, I suspected he had something far grander than mere telekinesis.
“Yes. Now,” I demanded, and he smiled something soft and gentle that made my gut curl in want. It was a true miracle I did not launch myself across the cargo bay and attack him.
“We need to have a more comprehensive permissions conversation,” he said.
Of course Monqilcolnen was correct, and yet, I was more than alright with putting off such discussions for now, not indefinitely, but until we fucked at least. My tail flicked and my cock throbbed.
“What more do you wish to know?” I asked, trying to keep the growl from my voice.
Gesturing between us, he asked, “What is this?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You said courting, and I agree. I desire that as well, but what are we?”
“We are together. We’re a couple.”
The corner of his lips quirked, and I felt something warm flood my soul. Monqilcolnen said, “I like that very much. Are we exclusive?”
My gut dropped like I was suddenly falling at the thought of him being with anyone else. Ever again. I couldn’t even imagine that. The image of another faceless drakcol touching Monqilcolnen slipped into my brain and a growl rumbled in my chest.
“We are,” I said, trying to remain calm. I had never, not once, been possessive of someone like I was him.
A full-blown smile spread across Monqilcolnen’s face and blew my thoughts to tiny shards. It was a lovely thing, so joyous and free. I’d never seen him look like this before. My soul pounded, and my mouth went dry as I dumbly gaped at him.
“I agree,” Monqilcolnen said. “I want you alone, Wyn.”
I swallowed, unable to speak as my chest heaved.
“Should we discuss more?”
I had to swallow a few times before I found my voice. It didn’t want to come for some reason. I had no idea why. Finally, I forced out, “Yes.”
We had the typical conversation of what was allowed and what wasn’t allowed.
Monqilcolnen agreed to sex at least three times a week, as long as I snuggled him afterwards—it was the aftercare he needed.
We also agreed to tell people about us courting.
I could already imagine the gloating Urgg was going to do.
Public affection was allowed on both sides, and I was grateful I could claim him in full view of people.
Monqilcolnen got to his feet and held out a hand, his tail twitching and his eyes not quite meeting mine. “Do you want to join me in my room?”
“Yes.”
I was up in a flash and bolted toward him, my tail taking his. A zing went up my spine and settled in my hard cock. I whined.
He brushed a thumb over my cheek, and I leaned into his touch. Monqilcolnen pulled me closer. “So excited for me, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I panted.
Monqilcolnen paused. “I do not wish to injure your emotions by saying the wrong thing.”
I fought a smile. He was over ten cycles older than me, but he was so cautious of me. Courting Monqilcolnen would be interesting, to say the least.
“Caleb taught me something,” I said.
He frowned, his chest vibrating.
“Jealous?” I asked.
“I am always jealous of everyone around you.”
“Good to know.” I went on my toes to shorten the distance between our faces. “Caleb taught me a human thing called a safe word.”
“Safe word?”
“It’s a word or group of words that is pre-established by the couple to indicate when to stop instead of ‘no’ or ‘stop.’”
“I like this. What word?”
“It needs to be something I wouldn’t say on a regular basis,” I thought out loud. Monqilcolnen did not reply, allowing me to keep rambling until I finally settled on, “Fusion.”
“If you say fusion, I shall stop immediately.”
“Your safe word?” I demanded, because I fully intended to have the best fuck of my life with this man.
“Pragmatic.”
I chuckled, head ducking.
Monqilcolnen lifted my chin, and my laughter ceased from the heat in his golden eyes. My breath turned rapid, and my tail strangled his.
In a low voice, he asked, “Would you like to return to my room with me?”
“Yes.”
He smirked. “And what do you want me to do to you?”
“Fuck me.”