Chapter 48
No. You belong here.
“She cannot do this,” I snarled as Wyn's eyes darted over his screen. He was sitting on our bed as I prowled back and forth, ignoring Cincin’s cries for food.
He’d cleared staying here long enough to pack what he absolutely needed.
Now he had to try to sever the ship’s link to the main NAID hub back on Tamkolvanloknol.
Qinlin had agreed that was the priority—one everyone was working on.
“She can.” His tears had long since subsided, but I could still see them perfectly in my thoughts. Talvax had injured him; that was unacceptable, no matter the circumstances.
“You are living with me.”
“Not at the moment.” His fingers never stopped moving and his eyes never stopped roving over his screen.
“Yes. You belong here,” I snarled, tail whipping.
Finally, he glanced up. “I have to do this. I have to fix this, Monqilcolnen, or she can strip me of my rank.” He shook his head.
“She could probably do that anyway. More than that, I’m hurting people.
I’m hurting our people and the humans because of a foolish mistake.
I have to repair this.” He went back to his screen, his movements frantic.
I climbed on the bed, caught Wyn around the waist, and tried to pull him onto my lap, but he fought me. “Stop. Just stop.”
“I don’t have time. The main NAID hub could be infected already!”
“Please, Peace. Many people are working on this. Just take a breath. Please.”
Wyn finally allowed me to gather him into my arms and settle him on my lap. I pressed my nose into the nape of his neck and breathed in his floral scent. “Peace, you belong here.”
“I do,” he answered instantly. “I belong right here, with you. Let me fix this, then I’ll come back and stay.”
I shook my head. “I need to see you. I need to talk to you. Every day. I cannot part from you, Wyn.”
He took a sharp inhale. “I know.”
Talvax had basically ripped Wyn away from me to punish him, and that was…
horrible. She was punishing both of us for an honest mistake.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t comprehend the magnitude of this mistake, but removing me from Wyn and Wyn from me would only worsen it.
We needed each other, and I needed to take care of Wyn as he fixed this issue.
I kissed his neck, touching the jagged scales that I had bitten this morning. “I will talk to her.”
“No,” Wyn snapped, wiggling out of my embrace and returning to his screen. “You need to let me do this, Monqilcolnen. This is my career, my mistake, and my life, not yours. You need to stay out of it.”
“I want to be a part of your life,” I whispered.
“No, you want to fix my mistakes. I don’t need or want that, and you can’t, Star. You can’t fix this. I have to.”
My claws bit into my palm as I fisted my hands on my thighs. Instinct thrummed deep inside of me to fix this, to protect him, to shield him, to keep him safe at all costs.
But I couldn’t do any of those things, because he didn’t want me to, and he was right—there was nothing I could do to end the threat. I had to trust Wyn.
I cocked my head, giving my mate my throat. Wyn nipped my neck, and I groaned at the wet warmth of his mouth and the sharp feel of his teeth.
“Finish soon, please,” I begged. “I need you.”
Wyn lifted my chin. “I will be back soon.”
I captured his mouth and tried to memorize the feel of his lips on mine.
I sat on my small bunk in my cramped berth, relieved of all duties, and attempted to get the Admiral Ven disconnected from the main NAID hub.
A failsafe existed, but for some reason, it wasn’t working.
I had no idea why. Edith didn’t know, nor did any of the other seekers that had been selected to work on the problem.
I’d been just beginning to build into my AI kill code the ability for the virus to stop individual ships from disconnecting, so the whole system could be infected, but I hadn’t thought I’d succeeded. Apparently, I had.
Only two days had gone by, but it felt as if a lifetime had passed.
Worry and stress were my constant states.
I hadn’t left my berth once, and only Edith could speak to me.
She was trying to fight the slow-growing virus, picking up the slack by infiltrating the Admiral Ven as well as trying to break the tie between the ship and the hub.
She hadn’t succeeded yet, but I was willing to take any assistance I could get.
This problem needed to be solved. Tamkolvanloknol was in danger, and I was the one who’d put it there. I couldn’t live with that.
My screen flashed, and Dilvonsil’s link appeared. My finger hesitated over it. I wasn’t supposed to talk to anyone, and Qinlin could see everything I was doing. Also, no doubt Dilvonsil would lecture me. I’d been foolish. So utterly foolish. Did I really want to listen to them chastise me?
I pushed the link. I was weak.
Their face appeared, and I cowered on my bunk. “Wyn,” Dilvonsil said, “are you well? I’ve been so worried for you.”
Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “I made a mistake.”
“You did,” they said, but then gave a soft smile. “And now, you will fix it.”
I shook my head. “What if I can’t?”
“Then you can’t.”
“I’ll be charged. My life is over.” Tears slid down my cheeks. All of my careful work was wasted. I would lose Monqilcolnen, and that was even a greater blow.
“No, it’s not,” Jemtonkilsol snapped, coming on the screen. He stared at me. “Your life is just beginning.”
“Do you know that with certainty?” I asked, hearing my own desperation.
“I have no miracles to share, Wyn.” He wrapped an arm around his mate, who stared forlornly at me. “But your life isn’t over. I, Dilvonsil, and Monqilcolnen will protect you. More than that, I do not think you need us to.”
“You don’t?” I asked, eyebrows gathering close together.
“No. You can fix this. You can stop what you created. You are so very smart, Wyn. I trust you with my child, and I trust you to end this.”
More tears slid down my cheeks.
“I trust you too,” Dilvonsil said. “In fact, I’m fond of you. More than fond. I love you dearly, and I love how much you care for my son.”
I sobbed, my head bowing, unable to stem the tide. Never had I heard that from a parental figure. Only Urgg, Edith, and Seth had ever said those words to me.
“We love you,” Jemtonkilsol said. “We do. Now, fix this so you can return to Monqilcolnen.”
“How is he?” I asked.
“Upset,” his xapher said. “Very upset.”
“He needs you. Badly, Wyn.” Jemtonkilsol leveled me a look that had my shoulders straightening. “So you have to be there for him. Not just now, but for the rest of his life. He needs you and will continue needing you.”
I wiped my tears and raised my chin. “I will be beside him. I promise.”
Jemtonkilsol smiled. “I believe you.”
They both said goodbye, ending the session.
I stared at the blank screen. I hoped Qinlin didn’t notice my unauthorized ping, though she seemed disinclined to follow Talvax’s orders, only doing the minimum.
I wasn’t sure how or if she would punish me, but I didn’t want to get in any more trouble.
I curled up in my bunk and continued to attack the link between the hub and ship.
I wouldn’t give up. I couldn’t. Jemtonkilsol and Dilvonsil trusted me, and I refused to let them down.