Chapter 51
When all hope is lost.
Time passed extraordinarily slowly. NAID was losing more and more processing power because my virus was continuing to grow throughout the systems unstopped, unhindered, and without end in sight.
At first, Edith had pressed further into the systems to help fight the virus, but Talvax had ordered her to withdraw from the Admiral Ven entirely, especially with the link severed.
Edith was the first sentient artificial intelligence the Drakcol Empire had ever produced. We could not risk losing her.
She’d refused, of course, but she’d been convinced by Seth, or so I was told by Camden because I hadn’t been allowed to see anyone. Seth didn’t want to lose her, and his fear had been what finally had driven her out.
Talvax had ordered us to stop at the first Coalition station we came to, halting our mission.
It was impossible to continue with the ship as it was, though the Vvekians had agreed to meet us at the station and ply their efforts to ours, which was a blessing as their technical skills were far above ours.
All of this was my fault.
No one was allowed to speak to me still.
I was officially exiled at the moment. Cencay would give me a sad smile, as would a few others, though they would loudly speak to our berth mates about Monqilcolnen, trying to help in their own way.
Vorjyn would speak to me, but he mainly followed me to assure himself I wasn’t dead.
I had yet to catch sight of Seth, Urgg, Bartholomew, or Monqilcolnen, and neither of Monqilcolnen’s parents had pinged me again. I missed all of them so much.
The only person who spoke to me was Camden. He didn’t care about the order and openly defied it. He would seek me out, but sightings of him were few and far between. He also came with Noxlyn, who would talk, but sparingly. I highly doubted it was the order that was keeping him silent, though.
Other seekers were working on the same problem as me, but I hadn’t been allowed to confer with them, which annoyed me to no end.
I was positive this would go faster if we could all work together.
That wasn’t allowed, though, so it hardly bore thinking about, especially with everything else weighing on me.
No, I was alone. Completely and utterly alone.
I hadn’t been this alone since I had been a child, since the academy.
It was grating on me. I hated it. I couldn’t cope.
I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating. All I was doing was working.
I needed this to be over. Nothing else mattered except ending this threat so the silence would end.
I sat on my bunk, hunched over a screen trying to fight the growing virus.
All attempts to contain it had failed. It was actively corrupting the systems, spreading Urgg’s foolish message further and further.
A groan from one of my sleeping berthmates made me tense.
There were often people around me, but I was so alone.
I hated it. I needed more. I needed conversation.
I needed my friends. I needed Monqilcolnen.
I stood and walked to the door, but it didn’t open. I growled. Taking a deep breath, I said, “NAID, ask Doctor Qinlin for approval for me to work in the server room.”
It took much too long for NAID to reply, “Affirm-firm-a-a-a-ative.”
A while later the door opened, and I went to the server room. I didn’t need to remain in my berth. What was the point? I could work from the server room and stay there until I could go back to where I belonged. Back to Monqilcolnen.
I paced in the shared space of my quarters.
I hadn’t been able to sleep well for days.
I missed Wyn like an ache that never went away.
He should be here, wrapped in my arms—safe.
I had tried to catch a glimpse of him multiple times, but Qinlin and Talvax were restricting his movements.
Cencay had mentioned they’d seen Wyn in their shared berth, Camden had spoken to him, and Vorjyn checked on him frequently, but that was it.
None of it was near enough. I had to see my Wyn with my own eyes, and soon.
If I didn’t… I shook my head. I would break Talvax’s order, track him down, and stay beside him, regardless of the cost.
Forcing myself to sit down on the couch, I took a deep breath and buried my fingers in Cincin’s fur. She started to purr, and I relaxed. Wyn would solve the problem soon, and we would be together. Everything would be fine.
“Monqilcolnen,” a pinched voice said.
I fished my touchstone out of my pocket to respond, “Yes, Doctor Qinlin.”
“I’m ordering you to report to NAID’s server room.”
I stood. “Why?”
“Wyn has been in there for days and hasn’t once left.”
I bolted out of my quarters and down the corridor before Qinlin had even finished. My soul pounded in terror. My mate. My poor mate. Was he well? Was he ill?
Unaware of or not caring about my fear, she continued in an annoyed voice, “He hasn’t been eating or sleeping.
I could see it when I saw him last, and even that fool son of mine noticed.
I don’t know what Talvax is thinking. She’s going to break him.
He is a brilliant seeker. No one else has even come close to making this kind of code. It’s a work of genius.
“But if anyone can get him to take care of himself, it’s you,” she said. “And now this is a medical issue, so Talvax can answer to me if she has a problem.”
I ended the session without warning. I didn’t care. I appreciated Qinlin ordering me to go, but I didn’t want to listen to her rant about how intelligent Wyn was; I knew how smart and talented he was. I needed to find my mate and hold him, care for him, and love him.
I opened the door to the server room, and my soul stopped in my chest. Wyn didn’t even glance up at the arrival of someone, seemingly uncaring.
His pink hair was stringy and hanging around his shoulders.
His scales were dull, and he looked thin.
More than that, he looked exhausted, possibly even ill.
My mate hadn’t been caring for himself.
Dropping to my knees, I nudged his chin up. Wyn’s face crumbled, and he dropped the screen, holding his arms out for me. I gathered him close and pushed my nose into his neck with a low sob.
“My Wyn. Oh, my perfect Peace.”
He took a shaky breath and something wet fell on my face.
“Oh, Wyn,” I said, rubbing his back in soothing motions. I picked him up and moved to sit on the blanket tucked in the corner, probably where he’d been resting, though I very much doubted he’d been doing much of that.
With Wyn settled on my lap, I continued to stroke his back. Wyn burrowed against my chest, his tail coiling around mine. I kissed the top of his head.
“I am here,” I told him.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered. “I don’t want to be alone. Please don’t let me be alone.”
“You are not, and never will be.”
In a matter of moments, his breathing calmed and he sagged against me, his weight definitely less than what it had been the last time I’d held him.
I continued to rub his back, but when I brushed his wings, they shuddered.
I frowned and pulled the neck of his uniform open so I could peek down his back.
I couldn’t see much, but concern sparked through me.
He hadn’t kept his wings trapped the whole time, had he?
Drakcon wings needed to spread and stretch fairly regularly or a whole host of problems could occur.
I wasn’t sure how Wyn’s malformation affected his left wing, but I possessed no doubts in regards to him needing to set his wings free.
Kissing his head, I decided that would be a problem for later.
Right now my mate needed to rest. I had no idea how long it had been since he’d actually slept.
The door opened, and I tightened my hold on Wyn.
No one would take him from me. Not now. He needed care, and I was the sole person to do it.
Talvax stepped in and appeared unsurprised to see me here.
I growled at her, holding my mate tight.
My wings sprawled, and my tail would be thrashing if Wyn wasn’t holding it with his own.
She lifted her eyebrows in silent reprimand—one I ignored.
I did not care if I was disciplined. I did not care if she stripped me of my rank.
I did not care if she demanded a trial when we returned.
Talvax had put my mate at risk. Wyn was a living person, and the Admiral Ven was a ship.
He was worth far more. I would sacrifice everything for him. I would give up anything for Wyn.
Talvax looked around the messy server room before staring at the bedraggled Wyn in my arms. She tilted her head to the side, offering me her throat in concession, if not apology. I curled my lip in a silent snarl. I wanted neither.
She left without a word.
Knowing I was done with our separation and I didn’t care if Talvax got upset, I whispered to Wyn, “Let’s go back to our quarters, Peace.”
He did not respond.
Keeping him tight in my arms, I got to my feet and walked out of the room. NAID didn’t try and stop me, so either it was unable to track positions or Wyn was allowed to come with me. I didn’t care which it was. I strode down the corridors, ignoring the people who watched us; they didn’t matter.
Camden nearly crashed into us, managing to skid to a stop, though Noxlyn did have to catch him to keep the human from falling to the ground.
Camden said in a rush, “Thank fucking god. I was coming to get you. I hadn’t seen Wyn in a long time.
This has got to end. He’s going to do serious harm to himself. ”
I glanced at Noxlyn who was right behind Camden with his hands still gripping the human’s biceps—the two were inseparable. I turned back to Camden and said, “Thank you.”
His care of my mate would never be forgotten. Not ever.
“Is he alright?” Camden asked.
“He will be.” Glancing at Noxlyn, I asked, “You’re a seeker, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Know anything about engineering?”
“A bit.”
“Can you try to make sense of Wyn’s notes, then send them on to all of the teams working on the virus?” I asked.
“Certainly.”
I asked Camden, “Would you mind cleaning up the mess in there? Wyn wouldn’t want anyone to see it.”
Camden put his fingers to his forehead, then pushed them out in a stiff motion. “Leave it to me, Commander. You just take care of Wyn.” He snagged Noxlyn’s arm. “Come on, Noxy.”
I shook my head at the odd pair, then continued to me and mine’s.
I carried Wyn to the bed and gently laid him on the impossibly soft blanket Mistress Kel’yeena had given him.
He didn’t even react, still fast asleep.
I kissed his temple, nuzzling him. He smelled strongly of musty body odor with a hint of a floral fragrance—I’d never smelled anything better.
With slow movements, I stripped his clothes off, then unbuckled the harness holding his wings. They didn’t immediately open. Spots where the leather had rubbed his scales were clearly visible. I kissed the marks, my tongue cleaning the raw scales, and then slowly opened his wings.
Wyn moaned, waking.
“It’s me, Peace. Just me.”
“Star, it hurts.”
“It won’t in a few moments.” I bit back the urge to cry as I slowly unfolded his wings. The second they were stretched out on the bed, I gently massaged them, working small circles over the hard bone on top and then the soft membrane to assist with circulation.
“How does it feel?” I asked, trailing kisses over his wings.
“Better. Don’t stop.”
I continued to care for my mate.
“I smell.” Wyn buried his face in the blanket. “I didn’t want to smell when you saw me again.”
I dragged my tongue over his spine, and he moaned, his tail coiling around my neck in a loose necklace. I bit the delicate scales between his wings and continued to lick and suck on him, reveling in the salty taste of him.
“Don’t move,” I told him, and Wyn stayed stretched out on the bed.
When I tried to leave, his tail tightened. “No. Don’t leave.”
I dragged my claws over his tail, eliciting a shiver. “I shall be right back.”
After he let me go, I got a cloth and wet it with warm water. I wiped him down, focusing on the spots where the harness had rubbed on his scales.
“Monqilcolnen, I’m not supposed to be here.”
I growled.
“I’m not,” Wyn pressed.
I tossed the towel aside, not caring where it landed, and crawled on top of him, bracketing his body with mine. I bit the back of his neck, my fangs digging in until I tasted the tang of his blood. He whimpered, and his tail wrapped around mine, keeping me close.
“You belong right here,” I whispered against his ear. “Right here. Do you understand me, Wyn?”
“Yes.”
I flopped to the side, and Wyn instantly came closer, curling against me.
I wrapped my arm around him, my hand resting on the swell of his butt.
Wyn tucked his nose in my armpit and promptly fell asleep.
A few moments later, Cincin wandered in and attempted to jump on the bed.
It took her a couple of tries before she could scramble onto the bed, then she moved toward us and began to bathe Wyn’s hair, making me smile.
She cared for him for several minutes before plopping next to my head and curling up and going to sleep.
My soul relaxed for the first time in days. I had my mate and my cat. We were all together—a family. I kissed the top of Wyn’s head and let myself bask in his presence. My Peace had finally returned.