Chapter 22 #2
I stepped inside and found my brother sitting in the back on a pink velvet love seat, and he looked completely out of place with his work boots, baseball cap, and his chronic frown. But his lips turned up in the corners when he saw me, and my chest squeezed a little.
Travis James was the most protective, loyal brother on the planet.
There had never been a day in my life where I didn’t know that I was deeply loved by at least one person—and that was my brother.
But he was also stubborn and close-minded, and even though I loved him fiercely, I was not going to just do whatever he wanted me to, just for the sake of keeping the peace.
Times had changed, and I’d grown up.
“I got you a chai latte with almond milk,” he said, as he pushed to his feet and wrapped his arms around me.
“Thank you.” I sat on the love seat across from him. “How’s Shay feeling? She said she’s been pretty sick in the mornings.”
“Yep. It’s been rough. And she’s all over my ass because I work too much.” He chuckled. “I’m sorry I haven’t spent much time with you. But I saw that little shithead Kline hanging all over Danielle when Shay and I were at dinner the other night. I guess he moved on quickly.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. It was never anything more than a friendship. He’s a good guy. We’re friends.”
He nodded. “How was the wedding? Hugh said you guys had a good time. I’m glad you’ve got him looking out for you.”
“I don’t need anyone to look out for me, Travis. I wish you’d get that through your thick skull.”
He leaned forward and set his mug down. “I don’t like you going down this rabbit hole with Dad, Lila. This is why I didn’t want you coming home. You’re running down a dead-end street. And who the hell is paying for this?”
I groaned because he was like a dog with a bone when he had a point to make. He never let anything go. “Dad is two weeks into the program, and he’s doing well. Why can’t you consider the fact that he is capable of change? He’s the only family we have, Trav.”
His hands fisted on the table, and the veins on his neck bulged.
I could see he was trying to control his voice from going to a full shout.
“Let me see… He wasn’t there for us at all after our mother was killed in a car accident.
He checked the fuck out. He completely neglected us, and you got so sick, you ended up in the hospital for a few weeks.
You could have died. And where was he? Oh, that’s right, he was fucked-up on God knows what prescription meds the man was taking.
He was so neglectful that the hospital called CPS, Lila.
He is the reason that you wound up in some shitty stranger’s house in fucking foster care after getting out of the hospital. Is that not enough?”
I reached across the table and covered his hand with mine. “I’m not questioning your reasons for being angry. But he was injured after he fell off that ladder, and he got hooked on pain meds. He’s human, and he’s an addict. Instead of hating him, why not try to help him?”
“How about the next decade after that, Lila? Huh? You ran every fucking day of your life to escape what was going on in that house. The short spurts of sobriety followed by the endless fuckups. He hardly attended any of your races, even though the whole town came out to cheer you on because you were kicking so much ass. Where was he?”
Travis had never missed one of my races before I left for college.
He’d turned down a scholarship to go away to school, and he stayed home to attend a small community college here in Cottonwood Cove so he could look after me.
My brother had sacrificed a lot for me, and I loved him for it.
But holding on to all this anger was not good for him.
“He was suffering, Trav.” I squeezed his hand.
“I love you, and I know that you lost your childhood because you were stuck raising me. And that wasn’t fair, and you have every right to be angry.
But carrying all that baggage and hate—it’s not healthy.
You’re going to be a father, and this should be the happiest time of your life, but you seem more stressed out than ever. Talk to me.”
He pulled his hand away and ran it down his face.
“I need you to know that I have never regretted one day of being your brother. I would do it all over again to keep you safe. But I’m struggling with you being home, knowing that this man can derail you.
He’s selfish, and he let his children flounder after losing their mother, and I don’t respect that.
And you’re here to help him? You have this amazing job waiting for you in Chicago, and you finally have a break from running and all the pressure you’ve been dealing with, and you come back home?
To help a man who never helped himself nor stepped up for you?
So, yeah, I’m fucking worried. I’m worried you’ll fall for some douchedick like Kline Barley and then give it all up to stay here and spend the rest of your life trying to help our father, a man who doesn’t deserve your time.
And then what was it all for—all our hard work to let you have a chance at a good life, only to throw it all away? ”
My mouth gaped open. Holy shit balls. I had no idea how deep this all ran with him.
“A chance at a good life? I have a good life, Travis. And it doesn’t matter whether I’m in Chicago or home.
That doesn’t change things. I have my degree.
This is a summer break after graduating because I’ve never had one in all my years in college because I was always training.
And I’m really freaking happy being home and seeing my friends and the people that I’ve missed.
It’s the most relaxed I’ve been in a long time.
There’s no pressure to accomplish anything, no intense schedule, nothing to prove.
” I swiped at the tears running down my cheeks.
“The only person that I can’t seem to please is you, Travis.
It’s never enough. And I can’t feel guilty for loving our father just because you don’t. That’s not fair.”
“Because you’re all good, Lila. You always have been.
And that man has been threatening to take you down with him since you were a little girl.
You just can’t see it because you want to fix everyone.
And you’re wrong about not pleasing me. There is no one in this world that I am prouder of than you.
But that’s why I don’t like you being home.
Look what happened when you first got here.
You got hit in the face by some asshole that our father runs with.
If Hugh hadn’t been there, who knows what would have happened,” he hissed, and then looked away and shook his head.
“The sooner you get back to your real life, the better.”
I didn’t even know what my real life was anymore, because in all honesty, I didn’t think I’d ever really stopped long enough to think about what I wanted out of life. What would make me happy.
I shrugged. “And I’ll just see my niece or nephew once or twice a year because you don’t like having me around?”
“Lila,” he said, leaning forward again, his eyes full of empathy now.
“If I could move Shay and me to Chicago to live near you, I would do it today. But I started this business years ago, and now there are a lot of people who rely on me. But I’m thinking maybe we’ll get a condo in the city near you so we can spend a few weeks a year there.
I’ve seen how much you’ve helped Hugh with his business, so Shay and I are talking about hiring someone to do the same for me so we can leave more often, and I won’t have to work so much. ”
He’d started his construction company after he graduated from college while I was in high school. Most kids his age were out having fun, but Travis had grown up fast, and that had all been for me.
I nodded. “I think that’s a great idea.”
“So, have you talked to your new boss? Did you find out anything more about the corporate housing they’re offering you the first year?”
“Yep. I’ll be heading up a new department, which is insane and exciting and also super scary.
” I chuckled, even though this conversation had my chest feeling like there was a heavy weight sitting there.
“And they sent me some photos of the housing, and it looks really nice. There’s plenty of room for you and Shay and the baby to come stay with me.
It’s walking distance to work, so it’ll be really good, Trav.
I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ll go back and bury myself in work, and I’ll barely have time to come home for visits.
” A sarcastic chuckle left my lips, and I didn’t care.
It stung that he wanted me to leave so badly.
He sighed. “Just don’t put all your eggs in one basket with Dad, okay? That’s all I ask. And you haven’t answered me about paying for this program. Where is the money coming from?”
“They gave him a break on the price, and they are going to finance the payments,” I said, reaching for my tea. It wasn’t a complete lie, just an extension of the truth.
“I’ll take care of those. I don’t want you bogged down with that.”
“This was my choice, and I have no regrets. Can you just do one thing for me, please?”
“What?” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Come to one of the family meetings to see how Dad’s doing.”
“He won’t make it that long, so sure. I’ll agree to come at the end of the program if he’s still there. And will you do one thing for me?”
I raised a brow. “What?”
“Just don’t get too attached to being home, because your life is back in Chicago, Lila. Promise me you will stick with the plan.”
“Yes, Travis. I will stick to your plan, just like I always have.” I rolled my eyes because this was ridiculous. He may have good reason to be angry and to want to protect me, but being an overbearing asshole was not necessary.
“That’s all I needed to hear. And how is working for Hugh?”
Spending my nights in his bed. Showering with the man every day. The endless orgasms. The laughter and the fun. The Sunday night family dinners with the Reynolds. Which thing specifically was he talking about?
“It’s been great. I like working there, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with his family. I love them. You know that.”
He smiled. “There’s no one better than Hugh and his family. Although, if you asked the female population of Cottonwood Cove, they may not agree. Hugh’s left a wake of broken hearts behind him.” He barked out a laugh, and I didn’t like it.
“I haven’t seen him with any woman since I’ve been home, but obviously, I’m staying in the casita, so I don’t know what he does at night.” I kept my voice even.
“I think he’s been working a lot, and he’s too busy to be Cottonwood Cove’s biggest playboy these days.” He chuckled. “Brax has been going out solo without his wingman, and it’s not going so well. Will he hire someone in your place after you leave, seeing as you’ve helped him so much?”
The thought of leaving and not seeing Hugh every day made a lump form in my throat.
“I’m sure Brax will survive. I don’t know what Hugh will do when I leave.
He’s hired more staff these last few weeks, and that has taken a lot of pressure off him.
So, if we get things set up right, I don’t think he’ll need someone like me anymore, unless he continues to expand to the city. Then he’d definitely need more help.”
He nodded. “You’ve been good for him. Exactly what he needed.”
And he’d been exactly what I needed.