Chapter 23
twenty-three
. . .
Hugh
The weeks had never moved as fast as they were now.
Probably because, for the first time in my life, I wanted time to stand still.
But here we were, the first of August, which meant I had one month left with Lila.
I’d never spent this much time with a woman before, hell, with anyone—including my siblings.
We worked together.
We lived together.
We played together.
And goddamn, did we play well together.
I couldn’t get enough. What are the fucking chances that the one time I don’t tire of someone, the one time I’m not feeling itchy and running for the hills because it’s too much togetherness, it’s with the one woman I can’t have.
I mean, I have her, but not really. She’s not staying, and we both know it.
Not to mention the hurdle of her brother, which would be a big one, and could cost me the best friend I’ve ever had.
But I’d risk it all for her. That was the sick, twisted thing—she was worth the risk, and that was why I was where I was now.
I wondered if there’d been some truth to her words when she’d called me a coward when I’d tried like hell to keep my distance.
I wasn’t a man who gave a shit what others thought normally.
Yes, Travis was different, but I’d take whatever wrath he wanted to throw at me when it came to Lila.
He wasn’t the reason I was holding back.
Not anymore.
There was a lot more to consider, like her happiness.
She had a huge job waiting for her, and she was excited about it.
If I wasn’t tethered to this town with three restaurants, I’d talk about making the move with her.
That was how all-in I was. But that wasn’t a possibility, and I’d never hold her back from pursuing her dreams.
And they weren’t here.
So, I’d just enjoy the time I had with her, and I’d get over it when she left, because that was the deal.
Who the hell knew if I was even capable of being the kind of man she deserved. I’d never done it before, so why the hell would I think I could do it now?
I’d gone with Lila to visit her father this morning, and I’d been surprised when she asked me to come inside.
He’d made it for thirty days and was one month into the program, which Lila was very proud of.
I’d gone with her to support her. I hadn’t planned on being part of the family therapy session.
I’d been raised by a therapist, so I wasn’t completely clueless as to what all took place in a session.
But holy shit—it had been really heavy, and I was fucking glad that I’d gone with her.
And now we were sitting in my bathtub, soaking in hot water, because this was what I did now.
I took baths with Lila almost daily, and I fucking liked it.
She’d been quiet since we’d gotten home.
“You all right?”
“Yeah. That was a lot, huh? I’m sorry I dragged you into that. I didn’t know he was going to open up so much,” she said, her voice soft and sleepy.
“I didn’t mind. But I’m sure it was a lot to process.” My arms were wrapped around her, my hands resting on her stomach. She traced along my forearm with her fingers.
“I didn’t know he blamed himself for my mother’s death, Bear. That’s a heavy weight for someone to carry, you know?” she whispered.
Tate James had opened up that he and his wife had fought the night of her accident because he’d gotten drunk, and they’d needed some groceries so she could make dinner for the kids.
So, she’d gone to the store after shouting at him about being too drunk to help her.
And she’d been at the wrong place at the wrong time.
A teenager had run a red light and hit her while making a left turn into the grocery store.
Tate had broken down and sobbed as he relived that night, and I held Lila’s hand and sat beside her.
He’d talked about how he’d gone into a dark place after that, more drinking, which led to him falling off a ladder at work and hurting his back.
That started the cycle of his addiction with painkillers and alcohol and the destruction that followed.
“He’d never told you that before?” I asked, her head tipping back and settling in the crook of my neck like it always did. Like she was made for me the way her curves fit along all my hard edges so easily.
“No. We’ve never talked about my mama’s accident. And I know it doesn’t fix all the mistakes that he’s made, but at least it explains how and why he lost himself.”
“It does. And maybe talking about it will help him to heal.”
“He looks a lot better, doesn’t he?” she asked.
“He does.” It was the truth. There was color back in his cheeks, and he’d put on some much-needed weight.
“I think no matter what happens to my dad, this was a good decision. I’m not clueless like Travis thinks I am.
I know the percentage of success in these programs isn’t off the charts.
But not doing anything means you have zero chance of getting better.
I think it’s worth a try, and it’s the first time he’s ever opened up, so that feels like progress. ”
“It does,” I said as I turned my hands over and intertwined my fingers with hers. “You have such a fucking good heart, Snow.”
“Says the man who drove me there and sat through that painful session holding my hand. The man who secretly bought my car to pay the deposit for my father’s program. The man who treats his employees like gold and gives up his own dreams to take care of his family.”
“You don’t want me to get a big head now, do you?” I teased, but her words did something to me. I liked that she knew me better than most. I wasn’t a man who shared a lot. I was a good time, and I liked to have fun, but I’d always held my feelings close to my chest.
“I think your head is already big, so there’s no risk.” She chuckled, and I nipped at her ear.
“That’s true. So, we’ve got the fair all day tomorrow. Are you up for it?”
“Of course. I’m looking forward to it. God, I used to barely sleep the night before the Cottonwood Cove fair. Plus, it’ll be fun to meet all the kids on the cross-country team and talk to them, too. And, I’m on the schedule, though I’ve heard my boss is a bit of a softy for some of his employees.”
I leaned down, and my tongue snaked out and trailed down her neck, and she shivered. “Oh, yeah? Do you know which employees in particular he’s soft for? Because I can think of one that he’s really hard for.”
She laughed, and her head tipped back, giving me better access to her mouth as she wiggled her ass against my erection. “Have you ever done it in a bathtub?”
“Well, seeing as you’re the first woman I’ve taken a bath with, that’s a no. It’s kind of challenging to move in here.” My hands traveled up her stomach and covered her two perfect breasts. “And we don’t have a condom.”
“I told you I got on the pill last month. I’ve obviously never been with anyone before, and you said you’ve never been with a woman without a condom. How about you let me be your first?”
The thought of being inside Lila without something between us was not one I hadn’t thought about a million times over the last few weeks.
“You sure about this?” I asked, my voice gruff.
“As sure as I am about you, Bear,” she said, her voice all breathy and sexy as hell. She pushed up and positioned herself right over the tip of my dick and slowly moved down, taking me in one inch at a time. She felt fucking amazing. “And I can do all the moving for both of us.”
I didn’t know when it happened—when I’d fallen completely in love with this woman, but it had happened.
I’d finally experienced what my father had always talked about.
What my brothers and I had teased him about for years.
It wasn’t that the hair on my arms stood on edge like what had happened to my father, or that I knew I would marry Lila James.
It was a repeated clarity that I experienced day after day with this woman. My heart no longer belonged to me. It was hers. No one else would ever have it—that I was certain of.
But I didn’t know what the fuck that even meant.
I was not a relationship guy. I knew it. She knew it. Her brother knew it.
This felt like the most intense relationship I’d ever had, and it had only been a few weeks. Longer if you counted the time that we weren’t having sex, but still, what did that say about me? Chances that I’d fuck it up were strong.
We were good friends who were attracted to one another. She’d said it herself.
Of course, I loved her. Hell, I probably always had. I’d just never gotten to spend so much time with her.
She had an amazing opportunity waiting for her in Chicago, and I would die before I’d ever hold her back. So, I’d enjoy this time with her. It was more than I deserved, and I was grateful for it.
She gripped the sides of the tub and moved her body, controlling the pace as she rode me slowly at first, sliding up and down my cock over and over and bringing me just to the edge before she’d start it all again.
I gripped her hip with one hand, and the other settled on her clit. I took control, and she chuckled.
Faster.
Harder.
The water splashed out of the tub and spilled onto the floor.
Little gasps escaped her sweet mouth, and she turned her head, waiting for me to kiss her as her nails dug into my arms. She never fell apart now until my mouth was on hers. Like she needed that connection before she let herself go, and I fucking loved it.
I kissed her hard, and she cried out my name against my lips.
And I thrust into her one more time before following her right over the edge.
Because I’d follow this girl anywhere she wanted to take me.