Chapter 16
CARTER
I wake up to my alarm at seven a.m. with Sarah’s arm draped across my midsection, her head resting on my shoulder. I have no idea how we got here—but I know the four hours of sleep I just got were the best I’ve had in a long time.
I manage to retrieve my phone from the nightstand and turn off the alarm without disturbing Sarah, then I drop it onto the mattress beside me and take a second to enjoy having her so close.
Pretty sure the leg she has draped over my leg wouldn’t qualify as “friendly touching,” which means we’re breaking her rules right now, and as soon as she wakes up, she’s going to realize it. But I can’t bring myself to push her away. Not yet. Not until I absolutely have to.
Sarah stirs, snuggling in a little deeper, and I let myself wrap my arm around her shoulders as I think back on the last eight hours.
The night was not what I expected. At least not entirely. I expected her to look amazing. I expected us to get engaged. But I didn’t expect how easy it would feel. How kissing her would feel like the beginning of something much bigger than a marriage of convenience.
I’ve never clicked with anyone like I click with Sarah, which is why it was so hard to hear her outline all the ways she wants to protect her heart…from me.
I almost asked her, right before we fell asleep, why we needed the rules at all. She admitted she’s attracted to me, and I’m definitely attracted to her, so what if we just see what happens?
But I couldn’t do it. In the end, I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want her to tell me that for her, it’s only physical. I didn’t want to hear her say she wouldn’t have chosen me if her brother hadn’t put her up to it.
She’s the one who asked for the rules, so she must have a reason. And there’s not a whole lot I can do about that.
Which sucks. Because holding her like this feels really good.
Maybe I can convince her to give me a chance or at least figure out why she’s resistant. She did mention she’s not great at trusting people. So maybe she needs time to realize she can definitely trust me.
Sarah lets out a small moan. “Mmm. Is it time to wake up yet?”
I lift my head to look at her. She looks beautiful. Peaceful. So comfortable. I hate to make her move. But even if she doesn’t have anywhere to be, I’ve got to be on the team bus in less than an hour.
I reach up and brush her hair away from her face. “Yeah, it is,” I say softly.
Her eyes flutter open, and I wonder when she’s going to realize just how much of her is touching me. She blinks once, twice, then slides her hand over my chest before sitting bolt upright in bed.
There it is. Reality hitting her.
“Did I—were we…?” She glances behind her and looks at the other side of the bed. “Did I accost you in the middle of the night?”
I let out a chuckle. “You did not. I think we both shifted toward the middle while we were talking, then we fell asleep and just…”
“That’s not like me. I’m not usually much of a snuggler.” She looks up and meets my gaze. She looks sleepy, a little disheveled, and completely adorable. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. Not at all.” I tilt my head toward the other side of the room. “You want the bathroom first?”
She nods and scrambles off the bed.
I don’t have much to do to get ready. Sarah comes back out, giving me a quick turn in the bathroom, then I yield the space back to her while I pack up what little stuff I take with me when we’re on the road.
We’re traveling today, so once I pull on a pair of navy joggers and a team hoodie, there isn’t much else to do.
I respond to a text from Theo asking me if I want a breakfast burrito—yes, please and thank you—but ignore the five others he sent wanting an update on how things went last night.
Then I skim over at least a dozen different texts from people congratulating Sarah and me on our engagement.
Some teammates, a few friends back in Texas, my mom.
I’ll eventually respond to them all, but it feels like too big a task for right now.
Sarah comes out of the bathroom with her dress back on, and my mind flashes to last night when I helped her take it off. Well, sort of take it off. All I know is it was almost physically painful to see all that skin and not be able to touch her.
Now, she has her hair pulled over one shoulder and woven into a braid. She can’t have any makeup on, but she still looks beautiful. Bright brown eyes. Pink lips. Freckles on her cheekbones.
“Thanks for letting me borrow these,” she says, handing me my clothes.
I almost tell her to keep them. I like the idea of her having something of mine—wearing something of mine—but that would break the rules, so I take them and tuck them into my bag. “What do you have planned for today?” I ask.
“Open studio hours at the Bainbridge,” she says. “And a conversation about getting the heating fixed in the guest apartment. Though I’ve only got a couple of nights left, so I might just endure.”
“Don’t endure,” I say. “I’ll pay for a hotel if you need it.”
She holds up a finger and points it at me. “Listen, mister first class upgrade, I can afford a hotel if I need one.”
I grin. “Sure. But it’s more fun when someone else is paying.”
She purses her lips like she’s considering. “A true statement. Still, I think I’ll be okay. I spend most of my time downstairs in the studio anyway, and the heat works perfectly fine down there. Oh!” she says, her expression brightening. “I forgot to tell you my most exciting news.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Earlier this week, the head gallerist from a gallery called the Rooke came by the studio. I’ve been a huge fan of hers for years. We chatted about my work, and she looked at what I was working on, and then she invited me for tea tomorrow. At her gallery.”
“That feels big?” I say, hoping she’ll explain because honestly, I have no idea. I’ve been googling a lot of art terms lately, but my research hasn’t covered gallery shows and what those mean to artists.
“It could be,” she says. “There’s no guarantee this will go anywhere, but even just having her acknowledge my existence is a big deal.”
I loop my bag over my shoulder, and Sarah pulls on her coat. I take one last look around the room, making sure I didn’t miss anything.
“What about you?” she asks. “Just travel today?”
I glance at my watch. “Yeah. A bus to the airport in twenty minutes, then a flight to Boston. Probably a team meeting, some game tape. Then I’ll crash early before our day game on Sunday.”
“Three games in four days? Does that happen a lot?”
“They try to avoid it, but yeah, sometimes.” I open the door for her. “Can I get you a cab before I go?”
She nods. “Yes, please. That would be great.”
I’m surprised we don’t see any of my teammates in the hallway or on the elevator downstairs—I’m cutting it pretty close timewise. As far as Coach Kimzey is concerned, if we aren’t fifteen minutes early, we’re late.
“So, the Rooke—the gallery you mentioned, are you hoping she’ll invite you to do a show? Would that be a bigger deal than the one you have in Atlanta?” I ask after we step onto the elevator.
“Definitely. The Atlanta gallery is amazing, but the Rooke is career-defining. It would be a huge step up. Not that anything has happened yet. But…” She shrugs. “Maybe?”
“It’ll happen,” I say. “I really believe it will.”
The elevator doors slide open, and I lift a hand to the small of her back, guiding her forward and through the lobby.
Outside the hotel, the bus is idling, Theo and Jordo waiting outside to climb on.
Jordo sees me first, then he nudges Theo who turns, eyes widening when he sees Sarah and me leaving the hotel together.
I shoot him a look that hopefully makes it clear he’d better not react beyond that, then I steer Sarah to the curb in front of the bus. I hail her a cab, then open the back door for her.
She turns to face me, taking a deep breath before offering me a smile. “So I guess this is goodbye for now.” She bites her lip in that way I love. “I had a really nice time last night.”
“Yeah, it was nice.” I glance back at the bus, noticing several teammates standing toward the front, obviously watching us. I sigh and turn back to face Sarah, suddenly feeling a little sheepish.
She must see them too, because there’s a smile playing on her lips.
“So what do the rules say about this particular situation?” I ask, running a hand over my hair.
“Good question,” she says. “We are in public, and since your whole team is watching…I think you probably have to kiss me goodbye.”
I look at her and shake my head. “The sacrifices I make…”
She grins, then I lean forward, slipping a hand inside her coat to grip her waist. I brush the tip of her nose with mine. “See you next week,” I say softly, then I press a kiss to her lips, ignoring the cheers and jeers of my teammates coming from inside the bus.
She leans into the kiss just long enough for it to feel like more than a peck, then she pulls back, eyes sparkling. “Bye, Carter,” she says, then she smiles one last time and ducks into the cab.
I close the door, then watch as the driver pulls away from the curb. When I turn to head to the bus, I find myself face-to-face with Miles. I’m not sure if he was on the bus and got off or if he just exited the hotel. Either way, he doesn’t look happy.
I hand my bag to one of the equipment managers, then push my hands into my pockets, trying to look casual, despite the nerves suddenly making my stomach tight. We can’t look like we’re having a confrontation—why would we be?—but Miles’s body language is anything but chill.
“You want to explain to me why my sister was in your hotel room last night?” he practically seethes.
“It’s not what you think,” I quickly say. “We were out last night, getting engaged, being seen getting engaged, and by the time we got back, it didn’t feel right to send her back to Soho. But nothing happened.”
He grunts. “It looks like something happened.”
I lift my eyebrows. “That’s the point, right? We’re engaged.”
“You weren’t supposed to hook up,” he says. “Even if you are engaged.”
“We didn’t,” I say. “I wouldn’t.”
He holds my gaze for a long, uncomfortable moment, like he’s peering all the way into my brain. I hope not, because I’ve had more than a few thoughts about his sister I wouldn’t want him to see.
He finally sighs. “Fine. But did you have to kiss her goodbye? You aren’t really together.”
I glance past him, looking around to make sure no one could have heard him.
“Can you be a little more careful, please?” I say.
“Sarah and I have talked about this. We came up with rules to handle our public relationship in ways that we’re both comfortable with. That part of this is not your concern.”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything else.
“You need to get used to this,” I say. “Sarah and I will be living together. Looking like we’re together to everyone else. You can’t freak out if you see us kiss. It will only make it harder for us to sell this.”
He gives his head a little shake. “You’re right,” he concedes, his shoulders relaxing the slightest bit. “Sorry I freaked out.”
I reach forward and clap him on the shoulder. “No problem. Now, can you smile like you don’t want to murder me so our team doesn’t think we’re in the middle of a family fight?”
He tugs my arm off his shoulder and pushes me to the side with a good-natured shove.
“Get off me and get on the bus.” I grin and step to the side to move past him, but then he stops with a hand on my forearm.
“Just stick to the plan, all right? Don’t make things more complicated than they need to be. ”
I lift my eyebrows. “I don’t know what that means.”
His jaw tightens, his brown eyes an uncanny reflection of his sister’s. “Kiss her because you have to,” he says. “But don’t kiss her because you want to. That way nobody gets hurt.”
With those parting words running circles in my brain, I climb onto the bus and step into the aisle.
My teammates erupt into applause and cheers as soon as I appear, slapping me on the back and offering their congratulations as I pass by.
I nod and smile, taking it like I know I should, but when I finally drop into the empty seat next to Theo, I feel a strange twinge of sadness I can’t quite shake.
All these things I’m experiencing, the engagement, the celebration—it’s all happening for the first time. I’ll never get any of these firsts back, and I don’t like feeling like it’s all based on a lie.
Theo hands me the burrito I completely forgot he was bringing me. “Dude, we got a lot to talk about,” he says, and I shake my head.
“Not here, we don’t.”
He lifts his hands. “Come on. At least give me the condensed version.”
“We’re engaged,” I say. “That’s pretty much all there is to tell.” I look around pointedly at the many, many ears that might overhear our conversation.
“Fine,” Theo says. “But don’t think I won’t bring this up again.” He pulls his headphones over his ears and leans against the window, leaving me with my own thoughts.
Twice now, I’ve had Sarah and then her brother tell me that real feelings aren’t a good idea. That’s the safest way to keep anyone from getting hurt.
I can’t decide if they’re more worried I’ll hurt Sarah or more worried that she’ll hurt me.