Chapter 5 #2
This was usually when the tears started.
Salty and hot, they coated my cheeks and dribbled down my chest. I couldn’t focus on them when my hips jutted out at odd, noticeable angles.
Ab routines did nothing to flatten the small, fleshy bump that hung over my pussy.
At least it was waxed. The entire process was painful and expensive, not to mention a little humiliating, but bikini waxes were something I strictly maintained. I never missed an appointment.
I continued upward, noting the hideous shape of my belly button on the mirror, and cringing at the small stretch marks along the bottom of my breasts.
I imitated their lines on the mirror. My ribs were no longer visible at that moment, probably due to the cheeseburger I ate with Marla and Celeste earlier.
As if recognizing the time, my stomach groaned loudly in protest.
Next it was onto the breasts themselves, the offensive things that started it all.
They snuck up on me, virtually overnight, and within a single day at school, my round globes were all anyone could talk about.
Dozens of boys tried to grope me—in the hallways, on the bus, as I stood at my locker.
I saw the envious ways my female classmates stared, their jealousy so tangible that it nearly gagged me.
I started hunching over in hopes that it lessened the impact of the large rack I then sported.
Gratitude overwhelmed me when the weight loss meant they deflated, no longer the objects of everyone’s attention.
The only downside was that now I realized how much boys appreciated a good set of tits and I had nothing to offer them.
Bony shoulders served as arrows to even bonier clavicles, all of which I drew on my reflected self, followed by a neck far too long for my height.
My entire torso was distinctly too square and short for my frame.
I resembled one of the characters on South Park with the asymmetrical way my body aligned itself.
And my face? God, my fucking face. The thing that was the most excruciating to look at.
By now it was marred with the tears that poured from my eyes.
A dull, lifeless hazel that married far too many hues to be anything distinct or mesmerizing.
Large and wideset, they stretched out my face in a way that I hated.
My nose was far too pointed while my lips were far too thin.
I longed to get fillers for the bags under my eyes.
And although my teeth were white, thanks to the teeth whitening tool I picked up in a bargain bin at Madden Markets, nothing short of orthodonture could fix the crooked nature of my front teeth.
Thankfully that served as a focal point to take away from the monstrosities that were my ears.
If they stuck out any farther, I’d be forced to take flight like Dumbo.
All in all, the sight made me sick. I was a mutant, an ugly duckling unworthy of anyone’s love or attention.
Celeste and Marla had no right to care about someone as disgusting as me.
Like Diana always told me, beautiful people get what they deserve in life.
And I was no one’s definition of beautiful.
Soft sobs trickled out as I slowly turned to the toilet and kneeled.
This was my penance. The only way I could cleanse for all the ugliness my natural state unleashed on the world.
Yes, I could dye my hair or even fix my complexion with the right contour.
But in the end, when the makeup washed off and the hair grew out, I was ugly, plain and simple.
The toothbrush handle tickled the back of my throat as I did my best to stifle the retching sounds that came with it.
Nobody could know how I purged my soul in the bathroom.
I would do it as many times as it took to sink in.
I needed to be pretty. To be loved. Then, and only then, would Diana become the mother I wanted her to be.
Once my stomach felt empty and hollow, the only reassurance I could accept, I quickly brushed my teeth and used the cleaner under the sink to wipe off the mirror.
Marla was far too sharp not to notice my ritual, so while I appreciated her offer to stay for as long as I needed, there was definitely an expiration date.
I couldn’t not do this…my ritual was all I had.
In just a few minutes I had an entirely new face, thanks to hundreds of hours practicing makeup techniques. Makeup helped me morph into the person I wanted to be. The kind of woman who was alluring. Mysterious. A woman powerful and beautiful enough to have men falling at her feet.
Iris cooed in excitement when I walked out to the living room.
Gone were the days where I struggled to walk in a pair of stilettos.
Put a runway in front of me and I could rock Paris Fashion Week.
Tonight’s pair sported a five inch heel, making me close to six feet tall.
Large rhinestones made them glitter, matching the holographic purple dress I wore.
If only I still had the jumbo boobs to fill it out. I would look so much sexier.
As soon as I had my living situation settled and my finances in order, I was getting implants. Even Diana agreed that was the smart thing to do.
Celeste’s body had changed, too, filling out in a way that only a mother’s could.
She still looked beautiful to me, even more so now that she let me style her hair into plush curls that framed her face.
One of my old shirts from freshman year fit her—a little too tightly, according to Celeste—but the red color suited her perfectly.
She refused to wear anything more than a frilly top and shorts, and even that didn’t deter me.
We were going to have so much fun tonight!
“Now, don’t worry about what time you’re getting home.” Marla held up a hand to stop her as soon as Celeste opened her mouth. “This baby and I are gonna do some puddin’ paintin’ and then we’re gonna have a bubble bath, and then I think a Disney princess is in order.”
I smirked as Celeste looked at her in horror. “It’s already eight-thirty!” she cried. “Iris normally goes to bed at nine!”
Marla scowled at her. “Shoo!” she said, waving her hands in the direction of the door.
Before we entered into a battle of wills, the likes of which River’s Run had never seen, I grabbed Celeste’s hand and pulled her after me down the stairs.
According to someone we went to high school with, there was supposed to be a rager at Skylar Perkins’ house.
She inherited a small house just down the road from the Army base after her grandmother died.
It was tucked back far enough from the road that neighbors didn’t really call the cops if things got too rowdy.
It was the perfect place to go and blow off some steam. And I needed that after the past couple days I’d had.