21. Gabby
21
Gabby
“ S o that’s my story.” I shrug my shoulders, watching for Aly’s and Michelle’s reactions. I predicted Aly would cry and Michelle would be stunned silent, but somehow it worked out just the opposite. I’m grateful that both of my friends were home this morning so I didn’t have time to dwell over talking to them. The fact that we’re in the comfy surroundings of our living room also helped ease some nerves. Telling them about losing my family wasn’t easy, but it didn’t have the emotional drain that it did when I told Alex.
“Oh, Gabby.” Michelle throws her arms around my neck. “I’m so, so sorry. I wish you had told me sooner. Not that it would’ve changed the outcome, but maybe I could’ve helped in a way to make life more bearable. Please let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Michelle.” I hug her back. “Honestly, just telling you both feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders.”
“It all makes sense now,” Aly says almost to herself, then turns to me. “I mean, with you and Alex. I never understood why you insisted that you two weren’t right for each other.” She gets up, walks over to me, and gives me a hug. “I’m so sorry for your losses.”
“Thank you.” I give her a squeeze back, then place my hand on her growing belly.
“Nonna Grace always said that babies are a sign that the world will keep going.” She looks down at her stomach and smiles.
“Is that a hint?” I smirk.
“All I’m saying is that you’re here and Alex is here and you two would make adorable babies and then our children could become friends or—” Aly gasps. “My babies can marry your babies and we’ll be family.”
“You are getting way ahead of yourself.” I laugh at Aly’s enthusiasm as she happily plops herself in the space between Michelle and me on the couch. “Alex and I are not even together.”
“Yet,” Aly adds. “You’re not together yet, but come on, anyone with eyes can see it’s coming.”
“I guess.” Heat creeps up my neck. “Alex is letting me take the reins with everything. We talked and he realized he was coming on too strong. For now, I need to take things slow. I mean, I never even planned on getting into a relationship.”
“Neither did I and look where it got me.” Aly winks.
“Speaking of relationships,” Michelle pipes up. “What happened during that date with Josh? Carter got a text from Alex saying that you were safe with him and not to expect either of you home until the morning. We didn’t even know Alex left.”
“He wasn’t having dinner with you all when I called him?” I cock my head to the side.
“No.” Aly frowns. “He went back to his place right after you went on your date. He said he wasn’t hungry. ”
“Ugh,” I groan. “That just makes everything even worse. The date with Josh was a total nightmare. He started drinking before I even got there and was mumbling something about a malpractice suit. He made a complete spectacle of himself before he passed out in his potatoes. It was so embarrassing.”
“He—passed out in potatoes?” Aly fights back a case of giggles.
“Yeah. I had to pull his face out and make sure his airway was clear.”
“Oh my God.” Aly loses her fight with the giggles. “I’m sorry. It’s rude to laugh, but it’s funny.”
“Go ahead.” I sigh. “I’m sure I’ll find this funny one day…maybe in like twenty years.”
“So that’s when you called Alex?” Michelle asks while Aly tries to compose herself.
“Of course. I knew he’d come to my rescue. He’s basically my knight in shining armor.” I fill the girls in on the rest of the details. I tell them about the helpful employees, how Alex swooped in to save the day, and how we got Josh safely back to his house. “That reminds me.” I look at Aly. “The next time you see Alex, ask him to see the pictures he took of Josh’s place.”
“What?” My former roommate scrunches up her nose. “Why?”
“Trust me. I’d describe it to you, but I think Alex would enjoy telling you more, and honestly, he deserves that.”
“I think this is a perfect time for cupcakes.” Michelle changes the subject.
I’m happy for the reprieve. I’ve bared my soul and my embarrassment all in a matter of minutes. I’m spent. I don’t think I have it in me to talk more about my horrible date or discuss the potential future of Alex and me. Part of me feels like jumping into a relationship with him would be the most natural thing in the world. The butterflies in my stomach haven’t stopped fluttering since that little forehead kiss back at his car. But I’m still petrified to lose him, and I’m not sure how to deal with that.
And if I’m honest with myself, it’s not just about him dying in a fire, although that would be the worst of the worst. It’s also about us not working out, us breaking up, me losing him to someone else. You name the scenario of loss and I’m worried about it. I realize how irrational all of this is, but I can’t stop myself. And I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about that with anyone either.
All the what-ifs that go through my head are enough to scare me into my own little cocoon. But then I think back to my conversation with Miss Ruby. All that worrying is going to make me miss out on all the things I could have with Alex.
Yes, I definitely need a cupcake.
“That is one of the best things I’ve heard all morning.” I take a seat at our table while Michelle puts down a huge plate of pastries.
“Whoa!” Aly says, looking at the number of treats. “This is way more than cupcakes.”
“Yeah.” Michelle sighs. “I failed another test this week and couldn’t sleep last night. I made peanut butter cupcakes with vanilla frosting, lemon bars, white chocolate raspberry scones, and pistachio macarons.”
“Oh, man, I’m sorry about the test, but I’m excited to try these.” Aly grabs a lemon bar and puts in on her plate. “There’s no way we can eat all this. Even if the guys come over and help.”
“That’s okay,” Michelle states. “I can send Alex over to the firehouse with whatever we don’t finish.”
“That’s a great idea,” Aly gushes .
“I’ve sent him with extras before. It’s the best of both worlds,” Michelle agrees. “I get to test out new recipes and the guys down at the station get some treats.”
“Alex is off today and tomorrow,” I inform Michelle. “But I’m working tonight. I can run some stuff over to the station.” It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve brought over food for the firefighters.
“Perfect!” Michelle claps her hands. “I do have a question, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“Go for it.” I bite into a pistachio macaron. Heavens above, this girl needs to drop out of law school and open up her own bakery. I have no doubt I’d be her best customer.
“You said that after the fire, you went to live in a group home because you didn’t have any relatives to take you in?” Michelle asks, pulling me out of my sugary bliss. “I can’t imagine anyone refusing to do so.”
“It’s not that anyone refused.” I shake my head. “The only family I had were my parents and sister.”
“Wait.” Aly puts down her pastry. “You mean to tell us that you don’t know any of your relatives?”
“Nope.” I grab another macaron, choosing to focus on something sweet.
“No grandparents, aunts, or uncles?” Michelle asks.
“Not even a third cousin twice removed or whatever.”
“How is that possible?”
“All I know is that my parents ran away from home shortly after they graduated high school. I never met any blood relatives. I have no idea who my grandparents are or if they are even still alive. I could have cousins or extended family living right around me and I wouldn’t know.”
Aly and Michelle watch me wide-eyed as if expecting me to reveal some dark, life-altering secret.
“Umm…that’s basically it. ”
“Wow.” Aly finally breaks the odd silence. “I mean, I thought I didn’t know much about my family, but this is…wow.”
“Did you ever ask about other family members?” Michelle cocks her head to the side, still trying to make sense of what I just told her.
“It’s funny, you know? I don’t remember ever asking or really wondering. I would see my classmates with grandparents and cousins or whomever, but I was just kind of happy in my own little world. We had each other and that was enough. There is one thing, though.”
Both girls lean in close.
“A few years before everything happened, my sister and I went rummaging through our parents’ closet. We were trying to get a sneak peek of our Christmas presents and discovered a high school diploma from my mom. The school was located in Manhattan.”
“Manhattan,” Aly repeats. “As in New York?”
“Yup. We showed the diploma to my mom. She just mumbled about it being a lifetime ago and told us to never speak of it again.”
“Have you ever traveled to New York?” Michelle asks.
“No. If we went anywhere, it was always within driving distance of where we lived at the time. We never brought up the subject again, but my sister and I always wondered whether our parents originated from New York. If so, that means they traveled thousands of miles to begin their new lives. Why? What motivated them to go?”
“There are a lot of reasons to move thousands of miles away and start over. I did it to get away from my ex, and you did it because you needed a change,” Aly answers. “New York is super expensive. Maybe they moved to somewhere more affordable, or for a job, or simply because they wanted nicer weather.”
“Maybe,” Michelle ponders. “But if they left for new career opportunities or better weather, wouldn’t they keep in touch with their family or friends back home? What if something bad happened and they had to flee a dangerous situation?”
“I don’t know.” I contemplate Michelle’s idea. “Mari and I never felt unsafe, but you do make a good point about not keeping in touch with people from back home.”
“Exactly.” Michelle points a fork at me. “It’s not like phones or computers didn’t exist back then and—” She slams her palm on the table. “Maybe your parents were in the Witness Protection Program!”
Aly chokes on her coffee. “What on earth would give you that idea?”
“New York has some sketchy areas. Maybe they saw something they shouldn’t have or were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It happens more than you think.” Michelle goes on the defense, but she’s not wrong. I know she’s been studying criminal cases for one of her classes.
“Have you ever considered trying to find other relatives?” Aly asks.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t considered researching or doing one of those DNA tests, but the unknown is kind of scary…especially if Michelle is actually right.”
“Sorry about that.” Michelle shrinks back in her seat.
“It’s okay. I know you’re just considering the possibilities and looking out for my well-being.”
“There’s always an upside,” Aly adds. “You might have a rich uncle who has no heirs to leave his millions to, or maybe you’re a descendant from royalty.”
“You also make a good point.” Geez, my brain feels like mush right now .
“You’ll never get answers if you don’t try. Did you know that Jax loves to study history—specifically, family trees?”
“I remember he enjoyed studying his. He likes studying others as well?”
“Oh yeah, he winds up going down these crazy rabbit holes. Like, he’ll take a famous military general and find all the lineage connected to them. If he thinks he’s on to something, he’ll stay up all night trying to put the pieces together. I think it’s kind of boring, but it makes him happy.” She pauses to lick some icing off her finger. “Anyway, if you’re okay with me telling him your story, I can see if he can dig up anything. Of course, if you’re not comfortable about him knowing, this conversation will never go past these doors.”
“I’m okay with you telling him. Actually, I’d rather you tell him so I don’t have to go through it again.” I look over at Michelle, who gives me an understanding nod. “Will you tell Carter everything too?”
“Of course!” Michelle says. The more I think about me telling the guys, the more I believe it would be way awkward. Having my friends tell them makes more sense.
“Thanks, you two.” I turn to Aly. “I can’t imagine Jax finding much. I really don’t have much information to give him.
“There are no guarantees without a test, of course.” Aly shrugs her shoulders. “Plus, you have a pretty common name, but he’s really good at this stuff. You can always let him have at it for a bit and if you decide later you want to do a DNA test, he could probably help you with that too.”
“It would be kind of nice to meet someone with a connection to my family.” I quickly warm up to the idea. Even if they turn out to be strange, it doesn’t mean I have to meet them. “Do you know I don’t have any pictures of them? Nothing of my parents or sister. All of that went up in flames. ”
“None?” Michelle asks. “That’s almost hard to believe. Nothing on social media or your phone?”
“No.” I hang my head in sadness. “My mom wouldn’t let us have any social media accounts—if she caught Mari or me with Facebook or Snapchat, we’d have been grounded for life! And we wouldn’t have disappointed her or Dad. We loved them too much.”
“Yeah, my parents wouldn’t let me or my siblings have any social media accounts.” Michelle frowns. “But that’s because they were worried we’d do something stupid and ruin the family name.”
“I wish my parents had cared.” Aly shrugs. “It’s fascinating how differently the three of us grew up.”
“I had my cell phone with me, but it was only filled with selfies and things that I ate. I was so mad at myself for being so self-centered.”
“Sounds like you were a typical sixteen-year-old.” Aly reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Please don’t beat yourself up for that.”
“Do you really think Jax might be able to trace my history?” The thought is exciting and scary at the same time.
“It’s very possible.” Aly’s eyes light up as she talks about her husband. “I know he won’t leave any stone unturned. He’s so thorough with everything he does. So very, very thorough.”
“Are you still talking about Gabby’s family?” Michelle chides as I laugh.
“Hmm? Yes. Oh yes.” Aly’s face turns a shade of crimson. “Anyway, I’m sure Jax can help find you some information. Best-case scenario, you find some family members, get some answers, and hopefully some photographs.”
“And the worst-case scenario?”
“You’re stuck with all of us as your family.”