Chapter 53
A skip in my heartbeat follows my plea and slip-up.
One more time.
Damn. Dammit. Now I’ve ruined what might be our last alone time together.
Beast stills above me. A storm of emotion wells up in him with the ferocity of a cyclone.
The stoic lines of his face don’t betray his emotion. Or the intensity of his eyes. It’s in the way his breathing changes. A sharp inhale. A pained exhale. “This is the last time I get to have you, isn’t it?”
For a heartbeat, an agonizing thought sears through me. Am I wrong about walking away?
Nothing good has ever happened for me. Why would my luck change now? Could the stars be lined up for us?
No.
Don’t be a fool. You’ll only get hurt more.
“Lucas… There are too many reasons why we can’t be together. And… and I’m just not the woman you deserve.”
His thumb caresses my cheek. “I don’t deserve you, Camile. You’re the one that deserves better. I knew this would happen. I knew it was too good to be true.”
I swallow hard. Because there would be no swallowing otherwise. I didn’t know that a person’s heart could literally suffocate them.
“I feel the same.”
If only I could open myself up. If I didn’t walk around with scars binding my heart.
He lowers his forehead to mine and breathes me in. Then he kisses me. Holding my jaw with tight, trembling fingers. Lucas devours me with such slow intensity that I think my soul will explode.
He scoops me up in his arms. Wrapping me tight in his strength but there’s a gentleness to him that breaks me in a way I didn’t know I could be broken.
He inhales sharply against my hair. “I’m in deep with you Camile.”
I touch his face. Drawing him so we’re eye to eye.
It takes every ounce of strength inside me not to break down. At the unfairness. Letting bitterness overrun me. If I was another woman…
If I were brave enough to trust.
If I was a woman without demons driving me to prove to myself, I would love this man so hard.
His voice is jagged, as rough as broken glass. As damaged as my tattered soul. “Do you want to stop?”
“No. Don’t stop, please.”
“I cherish this gift.” His words are low, pulling through a throat that’s tight with emotion.
Lucas levers up, props himself on one elbow, and skims his hand down my body. His eyes trail his touch. Memorizing. He’s committing the feel of me, the sight of me to some deep place in his mind.
Probably a place he’ll lock tight. Where he can throw away the key and never open it again.
I know it’s the only way I’ll survive what comes after him. I was lonely before… after walking away I’ll a ghost. A hollowed out shell, scorched and charred on the inside.
With blazing intensity, he slowly undresses me.
I watch through a wavering sheen of tears as he takes off his clothes, too. He’s so breathtaking.
I reach for him, feeling the strong planes of his muscles with my lungs caught in a vice.
Then he lowers himself to me again. The delicious weight of his muscular frame presses me deep into the mattress. His skin heats mine, making me dizzy with need and heartache.
God. I’ll never forget the way he feels.
“What are you thinking about, beautiful?”
I turn my face away, trying to breathe through the ache.
“Tell me,” he murmurs against my cheek before he brushes a burning press of his lips there.
“That I’ll never forget you.”
He crushes me to him.
I dissolve into his arms, melting into him. One last time.
Lucas can’t give up his career for me. He has his team… Her.
It’s not fair of me to ask. Because I have nothing to give.
It’s selfish and stupid that I’m taking this but I need him at least this one last time.
My skin goes electric when he shifts one hand to my thigh and opens me wider. Exposing the aching center of me to the head of his cock.
He traces his mouth over my neck. The sound of his breathing is rough against my ear. His heart is beating so hard it’s pounding against mine through bone and flesh.
“Then I better make it good. So good it will last a lifetime.”
There’s so much gravel in his tone. I can’t tell if he’s angry or hurt… or god, I have no idea what’s going on in his mind.
Then he slides inside of me bare. Just the thick head, but he’s so big, he stretches me.
A rush of heat pours through me, curling my toes.
Lucas’s body is vibrating. “So tight on me, babe. Feels so good.”
When he slides deeper, he claims my mouth. Devours me as he glides in until he’s hilt deep, and my breath starts coming in little gasps.
I moan loudly, ripping my mouth away, unable to take the wildfire he’s setting loose inside of me.
“Lucas…” I rasp.
“Sweet. So damned perfect.”
He rocks back and drives in slowly. I shudder and grab for his shoulders.
He’s so big. So hard. My mind reels with sensation.
“Made for me, Camile. Made for fucking me.”
I nod, breathless, clutching the bedding below me, and it”s starting to feel less and less like we are saying goodbye.
He somehow works his hand between us and finds the place where we’re connected. The glide of his touch there ignites something deep inside of me.
“Feel that?” he murmurs.
“God, yes.”
“Good.” He drives in again.
“Oh god.”
And again.
I chant his name.
He slides his fingers over where my labia wraps tightly around him, then circles up swirling over my clit. His other hand slides under my back and he lifts my hips higher. “Feel me fucking you?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes, I feel you.” I exhale a shuddering breath. “Everywhere.”
He drives into me again and again.
When I’m about to shatter, he levers me up, and I’m suddenly straddling his thighs, impaled on his gigantic cock.
The hand that was around my back is now around my neck. “Look at me.”
I’m trembling with pleasure as I raise my eyes to his, almost afraid of what I’m going to see.
God.
I was right to be afraid.
This isn’t the shuttered, stoic Lucas. This is the eyes-wide-open, wild, untamed man with his lion’s heart on full display.
His pupils dilate until his eyes are fathomless. “I don’t know what you do to me, but I know you feel it.” His fingers flex around my neck. “Tell me you don’t feel it, and don’t fucking lie to me.”
I lick my lips, feeling the effects of his kiss on the tender skin. “I feel it.”
“Why are you running?”
My mind splinters as a blast of emotion barrels into me.
I’m not even in control of my body as my arms fling around his neck and I bury my face in the strong column of his neck. Then my betraying mouth opens and whispers, “I’m scared.”
“I’ve got you.” He holds me tighter. So tight, I can hardly breathe, clutching me to his chest, cupping my head tight against his neck.
A rough sound rumbles through his chest. “I don’t scare easily, sweetheart, and I’m terrified.”
He turns my head and brings his mouth down to mine. Against my lips, he smiles.
Smiles?
I’m falling apart and he’s smiling. I stiffen and he chuckles.
I open my mouth, and he kisses me so fast, so hard that all of the air whooshes out of me and my pussy clenches around him.
Then he’s thrusting wildly beneath me.
I can’t think about anything anymore. He overrides my spinning thoughts.
Everything slows… it all comes into acute focus. No fear. Just senses.
The feel of his hot, slick chest against my nipples. His rough hands. One on my ass and the other still gripping my neck. My clit grating against his pelvis.
I moan loudly, completely at the mercy of the pleasure he’s delivering thrust after thrust.
“Oh, fuck.”
My eyes shoot open.
Did I say that?
Never, ever, ever in my life have I said that word when I’ve been having sex.
But it has some kind of crazy effect on him. It makes Lucas wild.
He clutches me harder, drives harder, bouncing me up with his aggressive thrusting.
I gasp. Oh my god. This is it. Broken, raspy words come out of me. “Now, now, right now…”
He goes completely still, except for the throb of his cock deep inside me.
My eyes flutter open. Then everything inside me goes alert.
His expression…
Lucas has never looked more intense. That look does something earth-shattering to me.
When a tear squeezes out of me and runs down my cheek, he makes a choked sound.
With one fluid, powerful move, he swings forward, pinning me to the bed below him. He lifts my legs, hooking them over his elbows, spreading me wide.
“You’re coming again. With me this time.”
“I don’t think?—”
Then he drives into me and my neck arches back.
Ooookay. Maybe I will.
When his mouth finds the sensitive spot by my collarbone, I cry out.
When he draws back and drags the head of his cock over my G-spot I shudder. But it’s the deep, fast glide back into me that makes my vision blink off.
His voice is rough. “Yeah, babe. I feel it coming. Feel your tight little pussy milking me. I want more. Give me all of you.”
I clutch at his shoulders, arching up.
“That’s it. Let go. Claw me.”
He does something to me… I don’t know what it is, but it’s so delicious something inside of me rips loose. A chain unwinding from some deep part of me.
A sound comes from me as my nails go to his shoulders. Down his arms until I’m holding him with all my might.
He groans in pleasure.
“More.” It’s a wild plea that comes from deep in my chest.
Lucas moves forward, collapsing me below him, pinning me beneath his hips, caging me with his arms, surrounding me with all of his big powerful body.
“Mine.” He thrusts. Repeats it again. “Fuck, Camile. You’re mine.”
I don’t know how many times his raspy chant brushes over my skin, but every one of them undoes something else. Unleashes me more.
When I feel wetness beneath my nails, I know I’ve sliced him. Drawn blood in my delirious pleasure.
I’m flying.
A surge of raw lust swarms in my veins.
His thrusts get erratic, hard. Wild. And I know… I’m going with him whether I want to or not.
A silent scream opens my mouth.
His head throws back, his chest tenses, veins bulge all over his torso.
A deep pulse inside of me throws me off the edge.
I tumble. Falling. Falling hard.
He growls out one final time. Against my ear, he whispers hotly, “Mine, Camile. And just so you know, I don’t run when I’m scared. I dig in.”
My world as I know it… or thought I knew it… just ended.
He won’t let me go, and I don’t want him to.