Chapter 54
When I collapse on the bed, there’s a hot, bright sensation behind my ribcage. It’s unfamiliar, and I like it.
With a happy growl, I tuck Camile into the crook of my shoulder. My hand rings her hip, where I clutch her tightly, loving the feel of her damp, soft skin below my palm.
“Don’t get inside your head, babe.”
“How did you know?”
I curl my leg over hers, tucking her tighter against me. “Your breathing changed.”
She buries her nose against my chest. “From the moment I met you, I’ve been an emotional train wreck.”
“I think that’s a compliment.”
She sighs and tightens her arm around my waist. “Seriously, Lucas. I’ve never felt so… off-kilter. So unsure of myself and what I need to be doing. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.”
I chuckle and kiss the top of her head. “It’s my incredibly powerful forcefield.”
She bites me. “It’s your incredibly big ego.”
“Any my incredibly big?—”
She pinches the skin over my ribs. “Like I said, ego.”
I rub my hand over her back, and she sighs and melts more into me. Her curves mold perfectly to mine. Made for me.
Now I need to get to the bottom of what was going on earlier. “Are you ready to tell me what set you off earlier?”
She groans. “That’s harsh. I’m enjoying my post-orgasm buzz.”
I fold my arm behind my head. “So, I should wait before I torture the answer out of you?”
“Torture. How?”
I skim my fingertip over her nipple. “I have my ways.”
“I hope it involves orgasms and not ripping out my fingernails.”
I chuckle. “You broke all those off in my arm.”
She inhales swiftly. “Oh, heavens. I can’t believe I did that. Did I hurt you?”
I catch her hand and bring it to my lips. “I fucking loved it. And when you cried out, oh fuck… that made me harder than I’ve ever been.”
Her face heats against my chest. “I’m officially mortified. Not that I made you really, really hard. I liked that. But I can’t believe I was so… slutty.”
“Honey, never be mortified about going crazy when my dick is inside of you. That’s the highest form of compliment.”
“Still… I was like a wild animal.”
I grip her hip. “You were perfect. You weren’t fancy.” I grin, remembering how she said she wasn’t fancy in bed. “You were carnal, free. Just like you should be.”
“Oh…”
I kiss her lips this time, taking a slow taste of her. After that, we lay tangled, just touching each other for a while. Comfortable, sated.
I’m happier than I remember being in… forever.
How could I let a woman that does this to me just walk away?
“Now you’re thinking,” she teases.
“Time to lay it out there. If we’re going to learn how to do this relationship thing together, then we’ve got to talk. I’ll go first, but you have to follow.”
I take a breath as she tenses. I get it. “Honey, I’m running on adrenaline here. Mostly, I’m afraid I’ll really mess this up. I want you, us. I want a future together. Whatever that looks like. Now, I want to know what made you try to push me away because I need to know how to fix that.”
She hides her face against my stomach.
I let my fingers slide through the dark red tendrils of her hair.
Finally, she speaks. “It was me being foolish.”
“Were you worried about what happens after tonight’s mission?”
Instead of tensing, she pushes up, until she’s propped on her hand, staring down at me. “I am worried.”
“We figure it out as we go.”
“What about your team…”
“What about them?”
“I know you don’t want to leave them.”
I study her worried expression. “You’re right.”
“But this is not my life. I have things I want to do. Need to do.”
“I understand that.”
She blinks down at me. “Just like that. You understand it? Don’t you worry about how we would make two careers work?”
“No. I know if we’re in love, we’ll figure it out.”
Her mouth slides open, then she closes it and closes her eyes. “Lucas.”
Love. Yes, I said the forbidden L-word.
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
Her fingers curl against my chest. “How can you be so matter-of-fact?”
“It’s something I learned in the SEALs. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. You can literally figure anything out with enough brainpower and enough time.”
That gives her pause. And just like I expected, she’s going to challenge me. “What if we don’t have time?”
“We make it.”
She frowns. “Do you have an answer for everything?”
“Pretty much.”
Her hand slides down, and she gasps when she touches my erection.
I chuckle as her face heats with a blush.
With narrowed eyes, she turns to look at me. “What’s this the answer to?”
I drag her on top of me. “I’ll just have to show you.”
* * *
“Dude, we wondered if you were going to come.” It’s Evan, and he’s got a beer in one hand and some kind of food stuff in the other.
I came. A lot.
I grin. “Sorry, man. Had other things to attend to.”
He shakes his head. “Eat, then we’ll talk, I have some new intel.”
I guide Camile through the door of Justice’s place.
The instant we step inside, I’m hit with a wave of delicious scents. There’s raucous laughter. The sound makes my heart jolt. It’s been a long damned time since everyone seemed so relaxed. Having Nyx safe and happy is like an elixir.
Add some good food and the excitement of a hunt and you’ve got a heady combination.
I head for the food. “What did you find? I need some of that.”
Nyx holds up a plate that’s piled high with an assortment of colorful things. “It’s sooo good. We found this little place in the next town over. You’ve got to try this. I don’t even know what it’s called. Hey, where’s your friend going?”
I turn to find Camile taking off out the door.
Well, hell. “I’ll be back.”
I catch her a few strides later. “Babe, where are you going?”
“I… uh. I just needed a little air. You know, it’s kind of hot in there and with everyone…”
I turn her into my chest and pull her so close I can feel the rapid flutter of her breath against my neck.
“Remember what I said?”
“Before you ruined my brain or after?”
I chuckle and rub her back. “Before. When I said we both have to talk.”
“I suck at this, Lucas. I’ve been alone for so long.”
I kiss her temple, wishing I could take away whatever has her so rattled. “You’re not anymore, sweetheart.”
There is a soft tap on my arm, and I turn to find Nyx beside me. Worry is drawing her brows together. “Could I have a moment. You know… girl talk time?”
When I shift Camile away from me, there’s a mask of indifference on her face. This alone concerns me. She never looks like that. “Babe, are you okay?”
“Fine.” She extends a hand. “Hello, I’m Camile.”
Nyx smiles softly. In her singsong British-tinted accent, she says, “I’m Nyx, it’s so nice to meet you.”
When Nyx looks at me again, it’s with a nod. “Just a minute. We’ll be right in.”
Camile smiles stiffly. It’s fast and soon snuffed by that fa?ade. “I’m fine. We’ll be right in.”
Shit. Why do I feel so nervous about this? Like I’m letting two wary animals circle each other.
“Alright. I’ll just be inside the door. If you need me, just call out.”
When I turn and walk away, Evan’s by the door, sipping his beer, watching the whole thing. He clutches my shoulder and guides me inside the door. “Let them work it out.”
Grouchy as fuck, I grumble at him and shrug off his hand. “Work what out?”
He genuinely looks surprised. “Are you that dense?”