Chapter 16
16
Devon
HE WATCHED HER face for any sign of uncertainty. Any hint Janie wanted to hit the brakes on what was happening between them. And something was definitely happening between them. Not just in this moment, but in a much more general sense.
Like it or not—time for it or not—he could no longer deny she should be in his life and he should be in hers.
“What do you think, J? Can I touch you?” He harped on his daughters all the time about consent and its importance. The respect it showed. At the river, Janie had made the first move, but this time it was all him, and he wanted to be sure she was right there with him. It sure looked like she was, but looks could be deceiving.
Her eyes were wide on his, skin flushed, chest lifting in short, choppy breaths. “You want to do that? Here ?” She glanced toward the house. “But the girls—”
“The girls are all wrapped up in their friends.” He stroked across the soft skin of her stomach, giving her plenty of time to tell him to go pou nd sand. “They decided it was too cold to come outside.”
And the second they had, he’d grabbed an armful of blankets and rushed out to where Janie was, knowing they would be alone. That he could carve out a little more time with her. Have her to himself for a while. Never did he expect the turn it would take. The truth he would share for the first time. The confession he would finally make.
No one knew what Maggie told him when she got sick. Not her mother. Not his parents. No one. They’d decided together it was something they’d tackle when she got better. But that never happened, and he didn’t want to change everyone else’s perception of what they’d had. It didn’t seem right to put his own pain on someone else.
But with Janie, it was different. She felt so deeply. Carried her emotions front and center for everyone to see. She wouldn’t see his feelings as a burden. She would see them as a connection. The kind of intimacy he believed they both craved.
“What do you think, J?” Devon teased one finger along the waistband of those damn leggings he would never be able to look at the same way, hinting at another kind of intimacy he was eager to offer. “Is it too cold to come outside?”
The air rushed out of her lungs in a sharp exhale. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”
“Why?” He dipped one finger under the stretchy fabric. “Did th e dad jeans make you think I didn’t have any game?”
Janie huffed out a little laugh, relaxing just the tiniest bit. “It was more the dad jokes than anything.”
“If you think you’re going to hurt my feelings, you're wrong.” He continued stroking her stomach, fingers barely breaching the waistband of her pants. “I know what I am and I’ve embraced it.” He met her gaze. “Just like you.”
It was another reason he knew they’d be good together. Neither of them was trying to be something they weren’t. He could take her at face value and she could do the same.
“I didn’t really embrace it. I was just too over everything to care what people thought of me anymore.” Her voice was soft. “It’s exhausting to live your whole life trying to meet someone else’s expectations.” The vulnerability in her eyes cut into him.
But it also soothed the parts of him that were still raw from Maggie’s confession years ago. Knowing the honesty and openness Janie possessed wasn’t just limited to certain feelings only made him more positive there could be something there.
Something big. As long as he could get her over this hump.
And showing Janie what all was in it for her would be a great first step.
“Then it’s good I don’t have any.” He’d learned long ago what could happen when you lived in your expectations. You missed signs you s hould have seen. Signs that could have pointed you in a different direction—possibly a better one—before it was too late. “We can just take this one step at a time and see where it takes us.”
Janie snorted. “Again, I’m not really great at that kind of thing.”
He smiled, pulling her closer with the arm around her back, dragging her up onto his lap so he could feel her body against his the way he wanted to.
“Then I’ll go with the flow and you can make the waves. How’s that sound?”
She curled closer, melting into him the same way she had at the football game. “You make it sound so easy.”
“I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have to be hard.” It could be, he knew that. His parents had one of the best marriages he’d ever seen and they still had their fights. Their disagreements. But all in all, the love they had for each other was easy. Natural. Honest and real.
That’s what he wanted. Something real. Something he didn’t have to question.
Janie studied him. “Was your marriage hard?”
“It was.” He pulled the blankets closer, tucking them tighter around her body. “I just didn’t know it.”
Janie worked one hand free from the blankets he’d just carefully put in place, bringing the tips of her fingers to move along his face in a touch unlike any she’d offered before. Usually she just held on tight. Gripped him like any second he might run away. Leave her behind.
“I’m sorry.”
The words were simple, but they lifted a weight he’d been carrying for a long time. She w asn’t sharing his burden, he wouldn’t put that on her. But she understood it. Empathized with his pain and anger.
“I’m not. Not anymore.” Not now that he saw what was on the other side of all of it.
Would he give anything for Maggie to still be here, loving on their girls, living a life that would make her happy? Of course. But that wasn’t an option he had. So all he could do was keep moving forward. Learn from the pain and heartache.
And appreciate his second chance. Be grateful he got one.
Not everyone did.
“ Dad .”
Riley’s voice cut through the night, sending Janie scrambling off his lap so fast she tipped straight toward the dirt. He managed to grab her, depositing the ass that was just warming his lap into the seat next to him, right as his daughters and their friends filed down the deck carrying a bag of marshmallows and the roasting sticks he’d laid out on the counter, but assumed would remain untouched.
“Is the fire still hot enough to make s’mores on?”
If he could have lied, he would have, but the flickering flames and hot coals filling the pit would have given him away. “It’s probably perfect for roasting marshmallows.” There was no keeping the disappointment out of his answer.
And that disappointment only grew when Janie jumped up, a smile frozen on her face. “I should probably get going.” She gave his daughters and their friends a wave as she booked it to the deck. “See you girls next week. Have fun. Give your dad hell.”
“Wait.” Riley chased after her as he attempted the same. “Could you show me again how to do that braid before you go? I promised Olivia I’d do her hair before school Tuesday.”
Olivia’s eyes widened for a split second, but then she was nodding along. “She did. She promised.”
“It’s late and Janie’s been here all day.” Devon kept moving, following the path Janie cut up the steps and across the deck. “She’ll have to show you again the next time she’s here.” He didn’t narrow that date down to the following Sunday. He had every intention of figuring out how to get Janie back before then.
As long as he could catch her.
The woman in front of him barely slowed down as she rushed into the house, collected her caddy of cleaning supplies and yanked her coat from the closet, then she was out the front door.
But by then he’d closed the gap between them, staying right at her side as she all but ran down the steps and along the sidewalk. “You’re running again, J.”
“I’m not running. I just don’t like the idea of your daughters catching you,” she paused, head snapping back toward the house as she lowered her voice to a harsh whisper, “ with your hand down my pants .”
"That wasn't going to happen." His confidence was way higher than it should have been considering how out of practice he was, but he wasn't lying earlier when he said he wanted to take care of he r. He meant it. In every imaginable way. Except the more he learned about Janie’s life, the more he realized how disinclined she was to believe it.
And the more determined he was to show her how very serious he was.
Janie finally stopped at the driver’s side of her car, eyes flashing to his face. “What? Were you just fucking with me?”
Christ this woman was prickly. But he’d take it over the alternative any day.
“I’m not talking about the me having my hand in your pants part.” He moved closer, crowding her. “I’m talking about the getting caught part.” He continued closing in. “I’ve been a cop for a long time, J. I think I can get away with a little necking in my own backyard.”
Her lips rolled inward, the expression on her face turning serious. “Did you really just say necking?” She set her caddy on the roof of her car. “Because I can handle you being a dad, but if you’re going to start acting like a grandpa—”
Her words cut off as his body met hers, pressing her back against the side of her car as his lips coasted up the side of her neck. “If I start acting like a grandpa, you’ll like it because you like me.” He caught the lobe of her ear between his teeth, giving it a little nip, eliciting the same gasp the move earned him earlier. He was pushing his luck in lots of ways, but couldn’t stop himself from trying to pin her down on one important fact. “Isn’t that right?”
Janie’s hands came to his shirt, fisting in the front as her coat fell to the ground at their feet. “I shouldn’t like you.”
“Probably not, but you do anyway.” He palmed her hip as he took a long breath against her skin. “Why don’t you let me give you a reason to like me even more.” His hand slid under the hem of her T-shirt to toy with the waistband of her leggings, making sure she’d know exactly what he was getting at.
Her eyes darted around. “But—”
“No one can see anything from here. Even if it wasn’t dark, they can’t see through your car, J.” If he was going to pursue this—and he was—privacy would always be an issue. One they’d have to learn to work around. “And, as long as you can be quiet, no one will suspect a thing.” He paused, hand going still. “But if you don’t want me to touch you—”
“I want you to touch me.” The words rushed out of her mouth as Janie’s eyes met his, her expression filled with conflicting emotions. “I’m just scared of what will happen if I do.”
Hearing she wanted his touch boosted his ego, but her admission of fear knocked everything else down a peg. “All that happens is you get to drive home with a smile on your face.” He rested his forehead against hers. “That’s it.”
Her eyes moved over his face, lower lip pinched between her teeth. "What about you?"
She probably had no idea what her question did to him. The satisfaction it brought. "Don't worry about me.”
"But—"
He shook his head at her again. "I've been alone a long time, J. I know how to take care of myself."
She sucked in a breath, lips parting as her eyes glazed. "You do?"
He nodded. "I do and I will.” The thought that she might be picturing it now had his dick flexing against the confines of his jeans. “Does that mean I can touch you?"
Janie offered a jerky nod. "Are you sure you don't mind… I can—"
Holy hell. She really was testing him right now, and likely had no idea. No clue how desperate he was to feel her hands on him. To be with someone feeling the same kind of need that was coursing through his own veins.
"I will be just fine, J."
Tucking his hand into the front of her leggings, he slid his fingers into the elastic of her panties, the movement easy to do thanks to the forgiving stretch of her pants. Pushing deeper, he groaned when they slicked along her drenched flesh. "This is what I'm going to think of when I fuck my fist later. How wet you are for me." Her pussy was hot and swollen, her clit a hard nub as he gently stroked alongside it, watching her reaction. "You were going to go home like this? Suffering?"
She shuddered, legs parting a little more as he eased a finger into her body. "Oh my God."
Continuing to watch her face, he pressed deeper. "Tell me if I hurt you."
He’d done a little more research on endometriosis since that night at her trailer, and discovered it could lead to pain during penetration. The last thing he wanted was to cause her pain because the first thing he wanted was the opportunity to do this again. "Not too much?"
"No." She whimpered as he slowly worked his finger in and out, thumb settled onto the bead of her clit. "Not too much."
He groaned again as she clenched around him, the front of his boxers clinging to the head of his leaking dick as he soaked up every sound, every expression, every sensation.
"Is this how you like to be fucked, J? Slow and steady?"
"Yes." The answer came immediately. Short and sharp and punctuated by another whimper, this one louder than the ones before.
Devon leaned close, resting his forehead against hers again. "Shhh. You've got to be quiet, remember?" He pulled his finger from her body, curling it as he went to stroke against the spot just inside her, smirking as she twitched. "I want to come to your house this week, J." He flattened his fingers between the lips of her pussy, working it with a circular motion. "I want to hear what happens when you don't have to be quiet." He trailed his lips to her ear, keeping his voice low. "I want to hear what happens when it's my mouth making you come instead of my fingers."
Janie’s thighs clenched around his palm as something akin to a wail built in her throat, forcing him to seal his lips over hers so he could swallow it down as she came, muscles twitching, body sa gging. He braced one arm around her back, supporting her weight as he teased out the last bit of her climax, only pulling his fingers free when she gasped, pulling away from the contact. He lifted his fingers to his mouth without hesitation, sliding the taste of her across his tongue, cock twitching at the thought of consuming it at its source.
Janie's eyes fixed on the movement, following along as he pulled his fingers free. "I can't believe you just did that."
It was the second time she’d said that tonight and it was starting to make him wonder just how low her expectations were. And hoping he’d be able to blow them out of the water.
"Why not?" He leaned into her ear, carefully pulling the hem of her T-shirt back into place. "Dads can be dirty too, J. "