14. Jackson
fourteen
Jackson
T he country music is on point tonight and I sway to the tunes more than usual. For once, I don’t mind being out at the bar with the guys. Still not my favourite thing, though.
Hunter tips his chin at a pair of younger guys not discreetly eyeballing us from the corner.
“I like the taller guy.” He turns to me. “Want to come with?”
The other one in the pair is attractive, and I know just by how he’s been whipping his head around the bar tonight, he clearly wants to bag a belt buckle. Which is fine. I might be the one to do it. Maybe.
“What if I don’t like him and what he wants?”
Hunter raises an eyebrow with a smirk. “Then I’ll take both of them.”
Coughing into my fist, I shake my head at Hunter’s bold statement.
“If that’s what you want.”
He downs the rest of his drink and places it on a table behind us.
“Oh, I want. Come on.”
The crowd parts for us as we approach the two younger men, and I have to laugh a little. Only in rodeo country are we treated like gods and rock stars because we wear hats and belt buckles. I’d prefer to leave the hat at home, but the guys tell me it’s a babe magnet.
When we stop in front of the pair, Hunter nods and turns the charm dial up to a hundred.
“Good evening, gentlemen. My friend and I couldn’t help but notice you’re here alone. Would you have room for some company?”
The tall one immediately pats his lap with a sultry grin.
“My lap has room, sugar.” He taps his thigh, and Hunter raises an eyebrow again.
“Since I’m bigger, why don’t we trade places, and you can sit in my lap instead?”
“How big?” the man breathes and I’m almost embarrassed for him.
Hunter chuckles as the man scrambles off this seat and motions for Hunter to take it. Hunter does, but on his way down, he grabs the man and pulls him into his lap.
“Oh! Hello, Daddy,” the man purrs, and Hunter laughs again.
“Just call me Hunter.”
“Sam.”
The two of them fly past any form of flirting and head straight into kissing as Hunter holds the man’s head still with his hand around his jaw.
Jesus Christ.
Clearing my throat, I attempt a smile at the friend and hold out my hand for a proper introduction.
“Hi. I’m Jackson.”
The man takes my hand with a smile. “Blake. Nice to meet you. ”
“I’m, uh, not really like my friend. Thought I should put that out there in case you were hoping for…” I wave my hand toward Hunter and Sam still canoodling and being far more intimate in a bar than I’d be comfortable with. “That.”
Blake smiles, and I like the way he laughs.
“The only thing straight about Sam is his method of just going for what he wants. Sometimes I envy that.”
Blake moves over and I squeeze into the seat next to him.
“I understand completely. I need time to work up to asking someone out and I don’t kiss people right away.”
Blake swirls his drink with a sigh.
“So, no chance with you tonight, then?”
His words take me off guard. I’m not stupid. I know what he and Sam are after, but his question leaves me reaching for words.
“To be honest, no. And it’s not because you’re not attractive or anything like that.”
Blake turns towards me, and his soul-filled eyes remind me of Riley so much it pains my heart. “You’re a proper gentleman, Jackson. I feel like you’re not a regular at the bar scene.”
Sam and Hunter have finally come up for air and join the conversation.
“My friend is a true romantic. This is the first time he’s been to the bar with us all season.” Hunter reaches for his beer while Sam remains cozy as a cat by the fire on this lap with Hunter’s palm firmly on his ass.
“That’s really sweet.” Blake gazes longingly at me and I stare into my ginger ale. “I’m disappointed, but it’s good to know you’re comfortable with that. Not a lot of men wouldn’t admit they don’t like casual sex. ”
“It’s not that I don’t like it. I’ve had it. It’s just…” I trail off, wondering why I’m considering pouring my heart out to a complete stranger while my best friend makes out with another stranger across from me.
Sam leans forward. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
My eyes snap to his and he shrugs. “You’re an easy guy to read.” He lifts his drink and settles back against Hunter.
“My friend has a heart of gold, but he’s been friend-zoned. It’s killing him.”
Blake sighs again. “You’re pining for someone who doesn’t want you that way?” He brings a hand to his chest. “God, Jackson. That’s something out of a romance book. Is he still your friend too?” I press my lips together and both he and Sam gasp.
“We aren’t here to talk about me.”
“Okay then.” Hunter places his beer on the table and nudges Sam. “Let’s dance, sweetheart.”
Without another word, they leave me with Blake, and my tongue grows thick. I don’t want to make small talk with him or cockblock him. I should just go.
“I had an impossible crush on my straight friend for years. I know how you feel to not have him return the attraction.”
“How did you deal with that?”
Blake shrugs and draws a finger through the condensation on his glass. “I avoided him for a long time after I told him how I felt. I knew he wasn’t into me that way. But I wished for it so hard because I loved him.”
“Are you still friends?”
Blake genuinely smiles and nods .
“Oh yeah. I still love him because he’s one of my closest friends, but I’ve accepted it’s a different love, you know? I still have him, but I don’t yearn for him that way anymore. He married a lovely woman, who I consider a close friend, too. But at one time I couldn’t entertain being with anyone else because I was so into him it was all I could think about.”
That’s how I feel too. Blake is a gorgeous man. He seems kind, and he’s easy to talk to. He’s obviously attracted to me, but I can’t go there with him.
“His name is Riley,” I blurt and feel the heat rush to my cheeks. “He’s a friend, and he told me that before we had our first non-date. I went into it with my eyes open. I just hoped I could change his mind.”
“Are you sure he hasn’t?”
“I guess I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Blake places a hand on my arm and I turn my gaze to his. “Is there something that makes you think he’s changed his mind, Jackson?”
“Um…maybe? I just…we connect and I don’t want to give up on him because I think he’s the most perfect person I’ve ever met.”
“Does he know how you feel?”
Biting my lip, I shrug. “I’m pretty sure I’ve made it clear. Short of kissing him like I need it to live, I don’t know what else to do.”
Blake punches me in the shoulder. Hard.
“What was that for?” I whine as I rub the spot. For a small guy, he sure hits hard.
“Listen, I speak from experience. Go tell him all this. No hints or subtlety. You go and fucking tell him, Jackson, that he’s the one for you. Kiss him like you want to if he consents, of course. Put it all on the table. Until you do, you’ll never be able to move on.” Blake shoves at me again. “Pick up your phone and make the call. Go.”
He’s stronger than he looks, and I stumble out of the booth. Blake slides out after me. “I’m going to dance with your friend. Don’t worry about me. You’re a diamond, Jackson. Truly. He’ll be stupid to turn you away.”
Without another word, he elbows his way through the crowd over to Hunter and Sam. They open their dance to invite him, and Hunter’s eyes find mine. I nod and he tips his hat as I make my way to the exit with Blake’s words in my mind.
With my phone gripped in my hand, I have every intention of calling Riley outside and confessing everything in my heart.
But a group of men near the bar catch my eye. A larger man has a smaller one caged against the wall with a leer on his face that I don’t like. The smaller man keeps trying to pull his arms away or duck under them and my feet change course.
“Excuse me. The man doesn’t seem to be interested. Let him go.”
The man turns over his shoulder and eyes me with a smirk.
“He’s plenty interested if the dollar amount is right. Ain’t that right, sweet thing?”
Peering over the man, my eyes meet the terrified gaze of Riley.
“Riley? What are you doing here?”
His mouth moves, but he says nothing, and I just… react. My hand curls into the back of the bigger guy’s shirt and I yank him away with a strength I reserve only for the most difficult steers.
“Get the fuck away from him.” Reaching for Riley, I sense the punch before it actually hits me, and I stagger sideways when a fist catches my jaw. A pair of hands land on my shoulders and turn me to face the man who punched me.
“You fucking cowboys always come into this town and think you’re hot shit. You don’t get to walk in here and ruin my chance because of your shiny belt buckle.”
“Ruin your chance? He’s not interested.”
I’m not interested in a bar fight either. I just want to make sure Riley is okay. And what the hell is he doing here, anyway? But the man has other ideas, and this time, I’m not blindsided. Ducking his punch, I throw one of my own and send him staggering as he clutches his jaw. We’ve drawn a crowd, and it’s about to get ugly.
Before he can recover and start fighting again, I spot Riley pressed up against the wall with his hand over his mouth. Rushing to him, I take his hand and drag him to the exit.
“Rye, trust me?”
He nods and grips my hand tighter. Together, we run like the devil is on our heels, and I only stop when he pulls me into a park area and leads me to a bench.
After collapsing and catching our breath, I ask the only thing that I need to know right this very second.
“Are you okay?”
Riley nods. His throat bobs as he swallows and his hands shake on his thighs. I reach for the hand closest to me and squeeze it.
“When I saw it was you he was threatening, I just…I sort of lost my temper. I don’t do that kind of thing normally. I…fuck, Riley. What are you doing here?”
“It’s a long story, Jackson.” His gaze meets mine and his eyes shine as he moves a hand to touch my face. My breath hitches, but not because of the low throb on my cheek. It’s the tender way Riley dusts his fingertips across the fresh bruise forming and leans closer. “He hurt you.”
“I’d rather it be me than you.” My voice is rough and gravelly as I gently take his hand and press my lips to his palm. “I’d gladly carry the pain so you don’t have to, Rye.”
Riley inhales, his chest expanding as he bites at his lip.
“I don’t deserve you, Jackson.”
I don’t like those words. Nor do I like how unsure and scared he looks right now.
“I can’t always say what’s on my mind. Sometimes it’s easier to show you.”
Riley has leaned closer, and I still hold his hand against my chest. “Riley.” I rub my lips across his knuckles and he releases a stuttering breath. “Can I show you?”
His gaze finds mine again, and my heart races because, if I’m not mistaken, there’s a need as strong as mine there. He nods. Just once and slowly.
Sliding my palm across his cheek, he closes his eyes with a swallow. “Jackson…” a hoarse whisper before I press my lips to his. His fingers bury into my shirt as he clutches at me. Riley sobs but opens and I deepen the kiss, trying desperately to convey he’s the one I want. That he deserves the world and then some. He’s not a piece of flesh to fight over, but a beating heart who breathes happiness and hope into my life.
His body trembles against mine and I break the kiss, pulling him against me.
“I hope you understand what I meant by that kiss.”
“Maybe?” He pulls away from me and traces my lips with a fingertip. “I think we have a lot to sort out. There’s an all-night diner I saw earlier today. Would you like to join me for…coffee?” He chuckles and some of the normal Riley returns. “Maybe they’ll have baby carrots or something.”
“Yeah, Rye. Lead the way.”
And he does.
Without dropping my hand that he only holds tighter.