15. Riley
fifteen
Riley
S itting in a diner decorated in a 1950s style, complete with waitstaff in poodle skirts, is not the place I envisioned having this conversation with Jackson.
But here we are in the middle of Doo-Wop heaven with a poster for Brylcreem on the wall next to us as we giggle at the names of food on the menu.
“I’ll be honest,” I say as I close my menu. “I can’t bring myself to eat a cheeseburger named the Chubby Checker Special. I just can’t.”
Jackson snort-laughs.
“Okay. I sort of agree, because even though some greasy comfort food would be great, I can’t eat Ritchie Valens Ritz Dip.”
We both giggle and snort as the waitstaff delivers our drinks. Jackson went with a root beer float, and I chose a strawberry milkshake. We agree to share a plate of fries which have no weird name and after ordering, an awkward silence settles between us, and I clear my throat.
“I guess I’ll start with the biggest question and tell you why I’m here.” Jackson brings his gaze to mine as he scoops a spoonful of float into his mouth. The memory of our earlier kiss replays in technicolour as I track the way his tongue moves across the spoon and a ball of heat burns low in my gut.
“I only went out with the guys tonight because I promised Jamieson I would,” Jackson states before I even get any words out. “That and you said I’d never meet anyone unless I went out there and tried.”
My entire skeleton freezes in my body. I can’t be too late. He kissed me. But had I not shown up tonight…
“Did you meet someone tonight?” The words are like shards of glass across my tongue.
Jackson pokes at his float and watches the ice cream fizz in the root beer.
“I wanted to. He was a nice guy. Checked a lot of my boxes.”
“But?”
“I told him the guy I liked friend-zoned me and I wasn’t ready to give up on him yet.”
I don’t know whether I should throw up or climb into his lap. His gaze meets mine. Naked and honest. Hopeful.
“I came here for a few reasons. I had a heart-to-heart talk with Gabe about you.”
Our waitress delivers the mountain of steaming fries and both Jackson and I laugh at how big the heap of potato product is.
“You can’t say you don’t get your money’s worth at this place, can you? I think this plate of fries has three pounds of potatoes.” Jackson raises the ketchup bottle. “Do you dunk?”
“Is there any other way?”
“Only if you’re a chaos creator and like ketchup everywhere.”
We quietly eat a few fries before Jackson breaks the silence again.
“So, what did Gabe tell you? ”
“Something I both didn’t want to hear and something I needed to hear.” Jackson dips a fry in the remainder of the ice cream in his floats and eats it. “Eww, what did you just do?”
“I’ve always seen people do that at the fast-food places. Figured I should try it.”
“And?”
“If I wanted potato-flavoured ice cream, I’d order it.”
A laugh bursts from the bottom of my toes at Jackson’s dry delivery. But he’s not laughing. There’s a small smile on his lips, but his serious face pulls me back to why we’re here.
“I kept you at a distance because I was scared you’d be another Chase. By doing that, I was letting him win. Gabe kindly made me see I was making myself miserable out of a misplaced…dislike.”
“The whole ‘ I don’t date cowboys ’ thing?”
“Yeah. It made sense at one time, but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized I needed to change my thinking.”
“And you came here to tell me in person?”
It’s so much more than that. I wanted to see him in his element. Jackson, in the job that puffs his chest with confidence and makes him who he is.
“I watched you tonight.”
Jackson pauses with a fry at his mouth. “Did you like it? Not just me, but the rodeo?”
“I really did.” Jackson’s shoulders relax and I move a fry through the ketchup. “When I was small, my parents took me to the Kissing Ridge rodeo a few times. Before I came out to them.” Listening to my dad go on and on about what real men do eroded my heart in ways that took me years to realize. But I always enjoyed watching the men do their thing. It’s an artful sport when you understand the history of it. “When I met Chase, as horrible as he was, he encouraged me to attend rodeos to watch him. He wasn’t that good, but being there and remembering rodeo is a part of where I come from sparked some good, you know? When he revealed his true colours, I slapped it all up and packed it away again because that was easier.”
Until now, I didn’t realize I’d always taken the easy way in my relationships. If it was too hard, I fabricated excuses, and the time to stop that is now.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away without giving you a chance, Jackson.”
“I understand mostly, Rye. It just hurt at first and spending so much time with you…” He sighs before slumping back in his seat. “It just proved to me my gut was right.”
“About?”
“You.”
Swallowing, I stare down at the pile of fries and Jackson’s hand, palm up, slides across the table. Closing my eyes, I slide my hand in his.
“I was hoping to surprise you at the bar. I had this big thing planned where I’d find you and probably say something cheesy just to see your face light up when you saw me.”
“Well, you definitely surprised me.” Jackson rubs at his bruising face with his free hand. “Not in the best way, but I’m so glad I found you. If he had hurt you, I’d have never forgiven myself.”
Jackson’s genuine concern for my safety makes my chest tighten, so I do what I came here to do. Letting go of his hand, I walk around to his side of the booth and slide in next to him .
His gaze tracks every single movement and once I’m next to him, I angle towards him.
“Jackson, I came here to watch you and by doing so, I learned a lot about you. But I also came here to tell you I saved your note and read it obsessively.” He’d taken care of me in more ways than I thought he would. Then I woke up to find his note on a paper towel next to the cooled cake he’d made when I asked for his help.
‘Whatever you need. Call me. Anytime.’
“This is me telling you instead of calling you. I need you in my life and I’d like to try being more than friends.”
Jackson’s sharp inhale is loud in the quiet restaurant. He turns his face away as his throat bobs and I place my hand on his thigh to get his attention.
“Jackson?”
“Octopuses have three hearts,” he blurts, before pressing his lips together with a sigh. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I love your facts.”
“My heart is big enough to love you like an octopus. Not that I’m telling you I love you. I mean, one day, I will. But not like this. Something romantic with less talk of octopuses.”
“I bet octopuses are very romantic, having three hearts and all.”
Jackson huffs a laugh. “That’s what I like about you. You just take all my facts in stride. I don’t even know where I get them from.”
“Can we get out of here?”
“That’s a great idea.”
After flagging down our waitress, Jackson pays our tab with a stern look my way to not argue. So I give him that victory. He wants to take care of me, and I understand because I want to do the same for him.
We exit the diner and he reaches for my hand like it’s the most natural thing to do. I take it as we walk back towards my hotel.
“Did you drive here?”
“Yeah. My hotel is a few blocks away.”
“Can you drive us somewhere if I give you directions? I want to show you something.”
Since he was familiar with the area, it was easier if I let Jackson drive my car. After a thirty-minute drive outside the town limits, he brings us down a small unlit road that opens to marshland.
As soon as he kills the engine, he holds up a finger. “Listen. Tell me if you hear it.”
I strain to pick up what he can hear and shake my head.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“Then we get out.”
I follow his lead and step out. He leans on the hood of my car with his hands behind him and the most adorable smile on his face. Then I hear it.
“Bullfrogs?”
“Yes! Isn’t it cool? This is a protected marshland, and in the daylight, you can walk all the floating boardwalks. Turtles, frogs of all kinds, fish, muskrats…so much wildlife in a small spot. But I love to listen to the bullfrogs.”
“How did you find this place?”
“The campground we stay at had a pamphlet when we checked in once. Since I usually stay behind, I figured I’d find this place to kill some time while the guys went out. I must have got here at the perfect time because the bullfrogs were so loud you could hear them inside the truck.”
First meteors and now bullfrogs. Jackson finds joy in the simplest things and I love that about him.
“I love that you’re so into these things, Jackson. You make it so easy to push aside all the shit and to just live in the moment and hear bullfrogs.”
“Life is too short to not enjoy the little things, Riley.”
Jackson ditched the hat in my car, and I study his profile in the moonlight. He’s so strong in his features; the sharp jaw and hard body, but he’s also soft. His eyes are always kind and his smile is just… perfect. But it’s the organ inside that nobody sees that’s both the softest and fiercest part of him.
Jackson’s heart is his most attractive feature, and I’ve pushed it aside the last few months over my own fears. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.
Stepping in front of him, I kick his legs gently to allow me to step inside his stance. He remains reclined on the car’s hood as he watches me from beneath hooded eyes. Sliding my hand up his chest, I lean closer and gather his shirt in my fist.
“Jackson…I came here to find you and kiss you.”
He sits up and grips my hips, pulling me against him.
“I’m not stopping you, Rye. ”
Leaning in, I press my lips to his and a gentle kiss turns deep and hungry in a matter of seconds. A palm kneads my ass and his other hand dives into my hair.
“Riley…I’ve waited for this,” he murmurs between kisses. “God, I’ve waited for this.”
“I’m so stupid,” I breathe as my hand drifts to his belt buckle.
Jackson slides his hand around and grips my wrist, pulling my hand away. “Not here, love. You deserve more than being on your knees in the dirt.”
Swallowing, I stare into his kind eyes that mean every word he says.
“I mean it, Riley. I’ve wanted you since I first saw you in that park, and I don’t want this to be cheap and rushed.” He cups a hand to my cheek. “I don’t go halfway. I’m all in, Riley. With everything. If you want me, it’s all of me.”
Jackson kisses my forehead. Then my eyelids. My nose, before finally kissing my lips again.
“Will you spend the night with me?” I whisper across his lips before pulling away.
He wipes a hand down his face, but a small smile forms on his lips.
“You’re making it awfully hard to go slow and do this right, Riley.”
“We can go as slow as you need to, Jackson. Don’t worry about doing right by me. I know you will.” I trace his lower lip with my fingertip. “It’s been too long since I’ve allowed myself to feel again. To open up to someone. You’ve made it easier, but I…I want the promise of wild romance I sell to my clients. ”
“I’ll give you that and more, Rye.” He holds my face in his hands as he kisses me so thoroughly my toes curl into my shoes. “I’ll give you everything.”
My grin breaks through against his lips. With the bullfrogs and peepers making their song and this man in the moonlight with me, I can’t help but smile.
“Then take me home. Take us home, Jack.”
With a nod, he places a kiss on my hand and leads me to the passenger door. After opening the door, he only closes it after stealing another kiss and a goofy laugh bubbles past my lips.
“Are you always like this?”
“I only know how to be me, Rye. So I guess the answer is yes.”
He closes the door gently and rounds the front to the driver’s side. After he starts the car and buckles himself in, he hums softly.
If I’m not mistaken, it’s the song from Lady and the Tramp when they share their spaghetti dinner.
‘ Bella Notte .’
Beautiful night indeed.