19. Riley
nineteen
Riley
T he aroma of freshly brewed coffee and voices drifting down the hall wake me, but the time on my phone propels me from bed like I’d been shot in the ass.
Rushing down the hall towards the voices, I find Gabe and Jackson at my kitchen island with their heads together, looking at my laptop. Jackson obviously went home and got new clothes because he wasn’t wearing that tight T-shirt last night.
And he looks so comfortable here with my best friend. In my kitchen. Like he belongs here. Jackson sips from his mug before glancing up and noticing me.
“Hey, sweetheart. I hope you slept well.”
“I’m late for the goats!” I blurt. Both men look at each other and laugh. “No, no, you don’t understand! I have a goat wedding soon and they had to come today to pick up the outfits. We have to finalize the arrangements because it’s only a month away! I-I, we need to—”
“Rye, take a breath.” Jackson’s deep voice has my jaw snapping close. “It’s taken care of.”
“What? How?”
“I checked your calendar, and thankfully, you leave very thorough notes,” Gabe says from behind my laptop. “I met with them this morning and they send you good wishes. They love the goat suits and signed off on the rest. Everything is fine.”
“Oh.”
“I also reached out to the woman you had in your contacts marked as possible assistant. You’ll be meeting her at 2 P.M. in your office. If you like her, I’ll take care of the setup for salary and such.”
“Um…”
Gabe pushes away from the counter. “Agnes will be in surgery and you need to stay occupied. Jackson and I are here. Let us help. It’s why you called me.”
Jackson places his mug down and strides towards me.
“Riley, baby, look at me, please?” His powerful hands grip my shoulders and I meet his eyes. “I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped here, but you can’t do this alone. I won’t let you.”
Years of fighting for my independence make the automatic response to shake him off rush to the surface. At first, I do, and step away from him, but Gabe calls me out.
“Riley. Don’t. I know you think you need to prove something and do it all yourself, but you really don’t. Let him help you. If he had me up at 5 A.M. without an argument to meet goats, he’s a keeper. So put the lame arguments away and kiss him or something.”
Jackson stands and waits, a patient and hopeful smile on his handsome face. Gabe mutters about taking a shower and leaves us alone.
“Did you sleep well?” I ask because the shift of the energy between us is so overwhelming I’m not sure what to say.
“Never better.”
“So you got my suit-wearing lawyer friend to meet goats. That’s impressive.”
Jackson laughs softly. “Not really. He’d do anything for you, Rye. He loves you.”
“And what about you, Jack?”
“Are you asking me how I feel about you, sweetheart?”
Swallowing, I nod because my mouth just ran dry. I can’t believe I asked him that. How very unromantic. I’m not even dressed. I literally just rolled out of bed and I’m asking this man who I have growing feelings for to tell me his first.
Most men might change the subject, but not Jackson.
He reaches for my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Well, my first response is to tell you that graham crackers were invented to prevent sexual urges. Some reverends felt that a bland diet was a way to curb sex drives. Which I find interesting.” He tugs me closer and kisses my forehead. “But then I took a breath and told myself, now isn’t the time for nervous facts. Riley needs me to be direct.” Jackson kisses my cheek and then my neck while my heart races like a NASCAR engine. “Riley, I can’t tell you how I feel about you yet because I don’t know the words to describe it. When I’m with you, I feel like I belong. You make me think I can have a future like I’ve always wanted.”
Jackson cups my cheeks and forces me to meet his gaze.
“My feelings for you are mighty big, Riley. I’d do anything to see you smile and hear you laugh.” He runs his thumb over my lips. “All I ever want to do is kiss you when we’re in the same room.”
“Jeez…Jackson…”
“Can I kiss you?”
I don’t answer with words. Instead, I grab his hips and pull him against me, smashing my lips to his. Jackson remains gentle, but firm. It’s a kiss, not just with attraction. It’s an unspoken promise. He won’t let me down and he’s here for me in every way. There’s probably more he wants to tell me, but I won’t let my mind go there. Not yet.
Pulling away, I stay close enough that my lips brush his when I speak.
“You sure can kiss for a cowboy.”
“You don’t think cowboys can kiss?”
“Not with feeling. Not like you.” I kiss him again, with a tenderness I can’t hold back for this man who I’m falling for so hard that it might hurt once the words leave my mouth. “You make me feel like I can have a happily ever after.”
His smile is so big I laugh. It’s adorable and real. So fucking real it makes my heart ache for what I might have let slip away if I hadn’t gone to him to take a chance.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me off the ground before spinning us in a circle with a celebratory whoop.
“Stick with me, sweetheart, and you’ll get your fairy tale. I promise.”
Gabe returns with damp hair and is now more casually dressed.
“Save sex for later. Like when I’m out of the condo, okay? We have a lot to do today.” Gabe’s words may be snarky, but the tone of his voice is kind as he looks at me .
“He’s right Riley. Get in the shower and get dressed. I’ll make you breakfast and we have to get to the hospital if you want to see Agnes before her surgery.”
The mention of my aunt has all the sadness and anxiety rushing back. But only briefly, as Jackson kisses me once before turning me back towards my bedroom. With a smack on my ass, he leans in close. “I’m not letting you out of my sight today. Or tonight.”
I shiver as I practically run to the shower.
“So your aunt raised you then?” Jackson asks as he parks us in the visitor lot at the hospital. I’d filled him in on how my parents weren’t really all that accepting of their gay son.
“Yeah. She stepped in when I was fourteen and my parents wanted to send me to some fancy private school in the States. It wasn’t really a school, you know? It was more like we can pray the gay away kind of thing and Aunt Agnes immediately said no and took me. She even had a lawyer do up legal guardian stuff and my parents were like, oh well, that saves us the financial trouble all around.”
Parents who view children only as a financial liability are a low I can’t wrap my head around. I thought being gay disappointed them enough, but to also not want me because they had to feed and clothe me? Yeah, that was kind of the last straw for me. And, thankfully, Aunt Agnes .
“I’m so sorry Riley. It’s their loss.”
“I know. Don’t worry. It’s why I’m out of sorts with Auntie falling and all this stuff. She’s all I have, you know?” My eyes well up, thinking of losing her, and he stretches his hand over the console to grab mine.
“I know. But now you have me. My family will love you.”
After unbuckling, he takes my hand as we walk to the hospital. So many people know him and nod to say hello. He greets them all by name and doesn’t once let go of my hand.
“So, um, where is your family, anyway?”
Our shoes squeak on the shiny hospital floor as we head to Aunt Agnes’s room.
“Well, they moved to Arizona because of the winters here about ten years ago now. It’s just my mom and dad. I’m an only child. But they come every year to the Kissing Ridge rodeo to watch me.”
“So they’ll be here soon?”
Jackson looks at his phone. “In less than 24 hours, yep.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. Don’t let me take you from—”
In the middle of the hospital hallway, Jackson stops and pushes me up against the wall before laying the most toe-curling kiss on my lips. “You aren’t taking anything from me. Don’t assume you’re not my priority, Riley. Understand?”
My fingertips touch my still-tingling lips. “Y-yeah. Okay.”
“Good. Now let’s see Agnes before she’s too drugged up.”
He confidently walks alongside me into my aunt’s room, who positively beams when she sees our hands still locked.
“Well, well. Jackson Sutherland, as I live and breathe. It’s been far too long since I’ve seen you. ”
Jackson leans in for an awkward hug with my aunt while I stand with my jaw on the floor.
“Sorry, Agnes. I got busy with the garden and rodeo. You said you had help.”
“Back the fuck up. How do you two already know each other?” I point to Jackson. “And why didn’t you say anything?”
Despite being in pain and about to head into a major surgery, my aunt still gives me shit like the 16-year-old punk I once was.
“I have friends you aren’t aware of, young man, and don’t be taking it out on Jackson. He used to come and clear the snow for me.”
“And then you’d feed me brownies.” Jackson smiles so warmly at my aunt that I almost can’t look away.
“Well, someone needed to eat it when I baked. My nephew wasn’t always around to enjoy it.”
Pulling up the chair next to my aunt’s bed, I plop into it in shock.
“Are you telling me Jackson has been this close to me for…what? Years? And I didn’t even know?”
Jackson smiles at me. More than happiness lives in that smile. “It’s fate, baby. I told you.”
“Is this the man you thought you made a mistake with, Riley? The one you told me about over Scrabble when I won with dick .” She snort-laughs and winces, and I ignore the heavy stare from Jackson.
“Yeah. The same one. I guess I don’t need to introduce him and hope you approve. ”
“Nope! Jackson is a good boy. He brought me strawberries one day in February. Right off the plant, he said. Your first batch, right?”
“Yes, ma’am. You were my test subject.” He chuckles as he places his hands on my shoulders. “I’ll bring you more once they spring you from here. We’ll catch up.”
“That would be lovely, Jackson.”
Jackson leans down and brushes a kiss across my cheek. “I’ll just be down the hall. I’ll give you two some privacy,” he whispers before wishing my aunt well and leaving us.
“Well, that’s Jackson. Who you already know and he’s…probably the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with.”
My aunt reaches her good hand to me, and I gently take it.
“He’s a good man, Riley. His dad used to own the tractor dealership on the highway. He helped me out a time or two when you were still in high school. He cleaned the driveway in the winter and always made sure we were okay. By the time Jackson started helping me, you’d moved away, and he usually stopped by after snowstorms. He’d borrow someone’s tractor and do the lane before shovelling all my steps. He even cleared paths to the gas meter and cleared away the vents.”
This isn’t shocking for him to do, because I know Jackson is indeed a kind soul. But damn. My aunt has known him for years and I never once met him. Maybe there’s something to this fate thing after all.
“I went to see him at his last rodeo. I told him I’d been wrong and…” Puffing out a breath, I find my aunt’s glassy eyes. “He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I can’t believe I almost lost him because I was stupid enough to say I don’t date cowboys. ”
“But it’s fixed now? You’re together?”
“I think so. He’s amazing. Gabe is here too, but you already knew that. He came yesterday.”
She smiles. “Yes, Gabe was here. Lovely man. He needs to work less.”
“I’m working on that, but you know how he is.”
The nurse arrives to announce that it’s time to move to the operating room and my aunt squeezes my hand. “Stop worrying, Riley. I’ll be fine and we’ll figure it all out. I love you.”
“I love you, too. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
The nurses wheel her away, and in a daze, I walk down the hallway to the waiting area to find Jackson at the nurse’s station. Pausing, I watch him as he talks to one of the nurses and signs an autograph. His cheeks turn a shade of pink when an older nurse asks for a photo.
He smiles and I listen to bits of their conversation over the bustle of the hospital.
“My nephew loves watching you. Will you be doing any mentor stuff this winter? He really wants to try steer wrestling.”
“I was thinking about it. It’s been a while since I’ve done kid clinics. The hydroponic gardening took up a lot of my free time.”
“Oh, I loved the strawberries you had a few years ago. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
There’s more, but it all drifts off as I stare at the man I tried to keep at arm’s length. He must feel my attention on him because he turns my way and winks before holding a hand out in my direction.
“If you’ll excuse me, ladies, I have a man to take care of. ”
My cheeks heat with the chorus of ‘ awws ’ from the nursing station as he kisses my cheek and takes my hand.
“You have my number, but I’ll be back when she wakes up. Suppertime right?”
“Yes, Riley. She should be out of recovery by then. She might not be up to a conversation, but she’ll be out of surgery.”
Jackson leads me out of the hospital, and I pull him to a stop once we’re outside.
“I can’t believe out of all the people in this small town, you know my aunt. How is it possible we never crossed paths?”
“Well, I’m a few years older than you. I was away at college while you were in high school. You moved away and came to visit in the summers when I was on the rodeo tour.”
“But, like…it’s my aunt, Jackson. It’s just so bizarre.”
He pulls me into him and hugs me tight. “And yet we never met through her, but at a park. Over hummus.” He kisses the top of my head. “Speaking of, you need to eat and then you have to interview the person who will become your assistant before we come back here.”
We walk again, and words are hard to find. Even at his best, Chase was never this attentive and yet I thought he hung the moon. Now that I’ve let Jackson in and actually opened my eyes to who he really is, I know acutely that I unfairly judged him. If he wasn’t so persistent, I might have missed out on him forever.
The world moves in ways I don’t understand, but I don’t have to understand it to be grateful for it delivering me a second chance at happiness.