21. Riley
twenty-one
Riley
J ackson only checked on me in the tub once. And that was to make sure I was still okay and to tell me supper was almost ready.
He handed me a warm fluffy towel I didn’t recognize, and I suspect he warmed it in the oven somehow since the laundry machines were in the bathroom with me.
Once dry, I stepped into my bedroom and pulled on a fresh T-shirt and lounge pants before padding to the kitchen.
Jackson had changed at some point, too. He’s barefoot and wearing a pair of navy sweatpants with a tight-fitting white T-shirt that says, Born to be a Cowboy , on it. He pulls a pizza from the oven and smiles when he sees me.
“Perfect timing. Are you feeling better?”
He slides the pizza onto a cutting board and reaches for fresh spinach. It’s then I realize what he’s making.
“I am. You were right. I needed to decompress.” Sliding up to him, I rest a hand on his back as he slices the pizza. “Jackson…are you making my favourite mushroom and spinach pizza?”
The cutest little flush appears on his neck, and he focuses on the food with a dip of his head.
“I am. It’s not from Avocadabra, but it’s easy enough to make. ”
Jackson turns and smiles my way before pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Sit and eat. I’ll get you a glass of wine. Unless you prefer something else?”
“Uh, no. Wine is great, thanks.”
He’d already placed plates on the kitchen island, and when he returns to set my wineglass in front of me, he places a small napkin with a pattern of horseshoes and cowboy hats on it under the glass.
We eat quietly, and whenever Jackson isn’t using both his hands, he rests one on my thigh. Sometimes with a squeeze and sometimes just smoothing his thumb along in an imaginary pattern.
“This is amazing, Jackson. Better than the one I order in.”
“Yeah?” His lips tilt in a pleased grin and I nod.
“Really. It’s great. Thank you so much for this. For everything.”
“Don’t ever feel you need to thank me for taking care of you, Riley. When you care about someone, it comes with the territory.”
“I’m sorry. This is just all so new to me. Since I left Aunt Agnes’s house to be on my own, I’ve always had to take care of myself. I’ve never…” With a sigh, I reach out to slide my palm across his cheek. Jackson’s lips part, and he places his hand over mine. “Nobody has ever made me feel like you do,” I whisper.
I’m overwhelmed by all the new feelings percolating in my head and heart. Yes, I like Jackson as more than a friend, but I’m still afraid of being hurt. Even though there’s no way he could be anything like Chase, the fear still pokes at me like the little plastic bit under a clothing tag that you didn’t quite remove entirely.
And yet, we complement each other so well. He makes me feel safe and cares for me in a way no one has ever done. I want him. I want us, and I want to rip that damn remnant of plastic tag off and burn it because this man deserves all of me .
Jackson’s gentle gaze is what it should feel like coming home. It’s the welcoming arms of a loving partner who wants to give everything he has.
Not once has he taken from me. Not even at the hotel. I’m always first, and it’s just the way he is.
“I can say the same thing about you, Riley. With you, I feel like I can conquer the world.”
Sliding off my stool, I lean into him in the space between his legs. He rests his hands on my hips and his lips part when I slide my hands up his chest.
“Jackson…I want…you.”
His entire face softens as he brings a hand up to stroke my cheek. “You can have me, Rye. I don’t know what else to do to show you. You’ve had me since I rambled about baby carrots in the park.”
Leaning in, I kiss him softly, but his hand grips the back of my neck, and he kisses me back. It’s a kiss that leaves me breathless. It’s tender yet passionate and so spine tingling it makes my knees shake. When he finally lets me breathe, I see him. I really see him. A man who gives everything for whatever it is he’s doing. Be it steer wrestling, hydroponic gardening, or caring for someone special, Jackson doesn’t do it halfway.
He’s all in just like he said he would be and for the second time tonight, I’m a little overwhelmed that all his attention is on me. That this amazing man is here solely for me.
“Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” he rasps as he runs a knuckle across my cheek.
“I…jeez, Jackson.” Huffing a laugh, I rest my forehead against his. “I can’t list it off because I want it all. ”
“Then we’ll just check all the things off as we go.” His lips on my neck and hands on my hips squeeze before he pulls away, and I try to chase after his kisses. “But you’re exhausted, Rye. Let me clean up the kitchen and I’ll meet you in bed. If you fall asleep before I get there, it’s okay. If you’re still awake…” He grins before turning back to the kitchen.
I huff a very annoyed breath, knowing I won’t win, but I can play dirty.
Jackson runs the water at the kitchen sink and while his back is to me, I wrap my arms around him from behind, sliding my hands under his shirt.
“I’ll let you have it your way, Jackson. But I’m not falling asleep.” To illustrate my point, I ghost my hands over his package before stepping away.
Jackson’s deep chuckle as he throws a glance over his shoulder at me sets my heart racing, and I know I made the right move. If he doesn’t leave those dishes half washed, I need to work on my seduction techniques more than he does.
With an extra swish in my hips, I make sure he’s still watching as I remove my shirt before disappearing down the hall to the bedroom. His whispered curse confirms he was still watching and for the first time since the news of Aunt Agnes’s fall, I feel like myself again. That I can manage anything thrown my way and it will be okay.
Right down to falling for a cowboy.
Stripping completely and foregoing my initial thoughts of more lacy underwear, I slide under the covers. I’ll have to ask him if he’d like more lace or something else. But right now, I just don’t want to be bothered. I want him against my nakedness the moment he steps into this room.
Which means I need to think this out better. I know he’s going to want to give and I want him to receive, dammit. I flip the covers back, exposing myself completely. An almost restless energy has settled over me despite the exhaustion I lied about not having. I want to show Jackson just how much I appreciate what he’s done for me.
Exactly seven minutes later, Jackson steps into my bedroom.
“I’m still awake, cowboy.”
Running my hands down my body, I stop at my cock and give myself a slow stroke as Jackson’s gaze burns down my body.
“I see that.” He tears his shirt off, dropping it on the floor as he walks towards me. “You sure you don’t want to go to sleep?”
“Jackson. Do I look like I want to sleep right now?”
He bites at his lip with a small smile. “You most certainly don’t.”
“Get your pants off and come here. Stop being so thoughtful for…like, twenty minutes or so.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Only twenty minutes?”
Sliding to the edge of the bed and sitting up, I reach for his hand and pull him to me. “Look, I’ll admit I’m tired. But I won’t fall asleep until I make you come, and it won’t take much for me to follow.” Jackson passes his palm over my cheek and lifts my face. His lips part, but I press a finger over them.
“You’ve been taking care of me for two days, Jackson. Let me take care of you.”
“Okay,” he whispers, and the simple words spur me forward to draw his pants down, but the rest of his words stop me. “But I just want you to know that I never want to feel like I’m controlling you or whatever. I…” Jackson breathes deeply. “I don’t like it when we don’t feel equal.”
Peering up at him as I sit on the edge of the bed, I wonder what exactly he means. But I remember his words while we listened to the bullfrogs and again at the hotel. He implied he never wanted me on my knees, but I didn’t think it stemmed from something like this. I thought he was just being sweet and not wanting me to feel cheap.
“Wait a minute.” Leaning in, I kiss his stomach before standing up. “Do you feel like if I kneel for you, something I want to do because I love it and it makes us both feel good, that in some way you’re…” I don’t even know the right word because I’m confused.
Jackson cups my face and kisses me. “It makes me feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I know that sounds silly, but…” He shrugs his shoulders and glances away.
“Do you trust me, Jack?”
“Of course.”
“Let me show you how good it is. Just because I’m on my knees doesn’t mean we’re any less or that you disrespect me.” Kissing his neck, I slide my hands up his chest. “You’re a safe place for me. It means I cherish you and in no way do I feel like you’re taking advantage of me. I promise you, this makes me just as happy as it will you.” My hand drifts and wraps around his growing erection. Jackson moans and drops his head to my shoulder. “And I’m the one in control, Jack. Not you. So please let me do this for both of us.”
“Okay, Rye.”
His hands trail down my arms before dropping to his sides as his gaze tracks me lowering to my knees. I’ve been thinking about tasting Jackson like this since he ran the tub for me, but I don’t want to rush it. His swallow clicks in the silence as I lower myself in front of his now very hard cock.
Leaning in, I lick up the underside of his dick and relish the stuttering sigh from Jackson’s lips. After a flick of my tongue across the tip and his sigh turning to a loud moan, I’m done for.
“Holy shit, Rye.” Jackson grips my shoulders as I take him down, swallowing around him as his mouth drops open with a gasp. One shaky hand reaches out to cup my cheek, and I lean into it. Jackson rubs his thumb across my cheek, and I glance up at him. His eyes are wide, chest flushed as his breaths come in short pants.
“Are you okay, Jack? Feeling good? I know I am. Look.” I lean back slightly, stroking my hard-as-fuck length. “This is what tasting you on my knees does to me, Jack.”
“Shit…then don’t stop,” he rasps.
But it’s his shy smile that gets me. Somehow, he’s turned this back to being for me and I can’t even be mad about it.
I take him down with more gusto, burying my nose against his skin until my eyes water. I can’t get enough of him in my throat, his flavour flooding my mouth and the weight on my tongue. Blowing someone is an immense turn on for me. I love the way I can turn a man to Jell-O with only my mouth.
Jackson’s thighs tense and his fingers curl into my hair, pulling at the strands.
“Rye…” His raspy voice makes me moan around him. He’s so fucking gone. My hand moves faster along my dick as I feel Jackson swell in my mouth. Glancing up, I watch his face transform as he unloads down my throat. The absolute bliss, followed by a tenderness that lights me up from the inside, washes over his ha ndsome features. Some people might think having your lover’s dick in your mouth as he comes is the height of intimacy, but that’s not entirely true. Add on the complete adoration on Jackson’s face while I swallow and jerk myself off. You can’t get closer than that.
My orgasm hits me hard, almost stealing my breath. When I finally open my mouth to heave in a lungful of air and let his cock slide out, Jackson falls to his knees in front of me and surveys the mess. My hand overflowing with cum, my lips swollen and his cum on my chin and maybe even on my cheek.
“Are you okay?” he whispers and I can’t keep the laughter contained.
“Jackson, that was the hottest blow job I’ve ever given.” Leaning forward, I press my lips to his with a small sigh. “I’m so fucking okay. Are you?”
“I think I blacked out for a split second when I—” His eyes grow impossibly wide. “Oh my god. Did I hurt you? I didn’t pull away or anything and I’ve never…” Jackson trails off as the tips of his ears turn red.
“You’ve never come down someone’s throat before?”
“Um…no. I’m just…I mean, I’m not…” Jackson screws his eyes shut tight. “I’m not a prude or anything. I’ve just never let my partners do anything like this before.”
Cold dread grips me.
“Jackson, shit. I’m an asshole. An irresponsible asshole. I haven’t been with anyone in over six months. I still get tested, so don’t worry. I’ve always been safe, even when I was with Chase. We should have talked about my status first, but I…I was so focused on making you feel good. I’m so sorry for not even br inging that up.”
Jackson remains quiet for a beat. “You’re not the only one at fault for that, Rye. I’m an adult and could’ve spoken up, too. But that’s not why I’ve never done this before.”
“Because you feel like it’s some sort of power imbalance?”
Jackson touches his forehead to mine.
“I guess I’ve always thought if someone could do what we just did, it would be cheap and dirty and not be meaningful. I never want the person I’m with to feel like I’m only with them for sex.” He rushes on. “And that’s not a comment about your previous job.”
Before I respond to Jackson, I need a moment to wrap my head around his words. It makes so much sense now. His caretaking and romantic tendencies, while they absolutely come from his heart, they’ve also skewed the way he views intimacy. Maybe all the Disney movies were a bad thing because Jackson could make me gag with his cock, and I’d still feel loved and cherished.
“Can we continue talking about this after I rinse the cum off myself? I want to talk about this more.” He nods and stands, holding out his hand to pull me up to him. “But for the record, Jackson, I’ve never once felt like you were with me just for sex.”
“Good. Because I never was. I’m here because I love you.”