22. Chapter 22
Chapter twenty-two
Ray
“ I ’m so proud of you, babe!” Jordie kisses me as soon as we’re behind closed doors. I kiss them up against the rose pink door of my childhood bedroom as I fumble the lock closed before cupping their ass and grinding against them. Jordie moans into our kiss, scraping their teeth over my lip.
“I can’t believe I told them!” I grin, still giddy from the positive reaction and the fact that Jordie cares about me enough to plan this trip. They gave me the chance to tell my family before the holidays. Having them with me for this is something I’ll always treasure.
“You did! And it went so well, didn’t it?” They grin at me, hands roving over my back, pressing me close without demanding more.
“It did.” I stroke their cheek, fuck, I adore them. “Thanks to you.”
“All I did was drive. You were the one who had the courage to tell them.” Jordie gives me a peck of a kiss. They won’t quite meet my eyes, but it’s been a long day of driving, so I could just be reading too much into being tired. “I’m so proud of you, sunshine.”
“Seriously, thank you for being here to support me. I don’t know if I could have done it without you.” I try to hold their gaze, beam into their brain just how much I love and appreciate them.
“You could have. But I’m glad I was here for you.”
“Me too.” I nuzzle into their neck, taking comfort from the closeness. I suck a lovebite into the tender skin there.
“Mm. Love you, sunshine, but if you keep that up I’m going to be a horny mess,” they caution me. Their saucy wink convinces me I was imagining things earlier. Everything is fine. Better than fine—amazing.
“So? We’ve got plenty of condoms. Dad bought a brand new box.” I pull back to grin at them.
Jordie snorts a laugh and shakes their head. “Your dad is hilarious. You sure you’re good with fucking me while your folks are down the hall?” Their breath is hot as they lean in closer to murmur into the shell of my ear, “Because I want your cock inside me, Ray.”
I shiver in anticipation. My joyfriend wants me to fuck them. And I want that too. This won’t be the first time I’ve gotten frisky with a partner in my childhood bedroom. Heck, I’ve had sex here on more than one occasion.
Ever since my brothers all moved out, the rooms next to mine are both empty. Mine is the smallest and farthest from our folks’ room. It’s also got the best window, looking out over our tiny backyard and getting full light in the evening.
“Yes. I want you. Get naked and prep yourself.” I gesture to the ensuite washroom that Dad added in a remodel when I was a pre-teen as compensation for the size of my room. My brothers all had to share the hallway washroom, but considering how long my hair took to wash and dry, even they benefited from not having to share with me.
“Fancy.” Jordie grins at me as they lean into the washroom to check it out. It’s really not, just a narrow corner shower stall, toilet, and sink. The cellophane wrapped box of condoms and a tube of lube stand out on the vanity since I put away all my toiletries and makeup before I left for university. “Give me a minute to clean up?”
“Take as long as you need.” I cross the room to close the curtains and dig my strap-on cock out of my suitcase while Jordie does whatever they need to do to prep in the washroom. I’ve been waiting for the right moment to use it and this seems like the perfect chance. My last girlfriend topped me with a dildo, but I was afraid to try it.
Afraid that it would feel too right to be the one fucking her. That doing it would betray how much of a fraud I felt like playing the role of girl. Or that it would be too hard to take the cock back off and go back to being seen as a girl afterward. It was too big and too emotional and too hard to put into words with someone I wasn’t ready to share the most vulnerable parts of my heart with. Far easier to let her into my body than my heart and soul.
With Jordie, it’s easier to do this. To trust them with all of me. I slip out of my jeans and shirt and replace my packer and underwear with the strap. When I glance down and see the erection jutting from between my thighs, the wave of euphoria threatens to overwhelm me.
Jordie comes up behind me, hugging me. “You good, sunshine?”
“Yeah.” I squeeze my eyes shut and jerk the firm length of fleshy silicone. It feels just like jerking the cock I sometimes wish I’d been born with. I have to blink away tears at how right it feels. “I’m good. Want to fuck you so bad.”
“Yeah? How bad? Want to slick that cock up?” Jordie kneels gracefully down in front of me. “Want to fuck my throat first? Fill up all my holes?”
They jerk me idly. I buck into their fist.
“Yes. Suce-moi la bite,” I croon to them, fingers scratching over their scalp. Fuck, it feels good to say that, telling them to suck my cock. The harness holding it snug against my body and the heft of it between my thighs makes it feel like an extension of my t-dick.
Jordie moans as I tangle my fingers in their curls, pulling them closer. I stop just shy of thrusting past their parted lips to let them close the final distance. They stick out their tongue to lap at the blunt head.
“Mhm, love it when you pull my hair, sunshine. Make me take it.” Jordie sticks out their tongue again and gazes adoringly up at me through their lashes.
Now I push into their mouth, imagining the wet heat of them on my cock and reveling in the visual of making them choke on my length. Jordie moves to take me right to the back of their throat. They swallow me down with an eager ease that has me turned on as hell.
They make the most deliciously sinful sounds when I bottom out and start thrusting, using their mouth as requested. Making them take it, lapping up every one of their needy moans while they go down on me like they’re starving for my cock. They grab my ass, fondling me and pulling themself as close as possible as I thrust in deep.
It’s good. Really fucking good. I haven’t been getting as wet as before hormones lately, but my t-dick is a throbbing beacon of horny need under the dildo’s base. Every thrust transfers through the silicone, a taunting tease of what I want to do with Jordie.
This might not be enough to get me off, but I still take my time enjoying the foreplay. The way Jordie’s lashes seem so long when they’re gazing up at me from their knees. How soft and luscious their curls are under my hands. The way their chest jiggles the barest bit now when I thrust harder. I love playing with their tits and their breathy moans when they press into my hands and let me lavish attention on their sensitive nipples.
Jordie takes me to the base, nose nestled against my groin. I just really need to be inside their ass now. Need to feel their body spread open under me.
“I want to fuck you so bad, Jords. Need to be buried inside you.” I urge them up to their feet, tugging on their curls.
Jordie lets my cock slip free of their mouth. Fuck, my t-dick twitches at how hot my strap-on dick looks glistening with their spit. A string of saliva connects me to their mouth and drips from the tip like precum. It would probably be weird to reach for my phone to take a picture, but I try to sear the details into my memories.
Jordie smiles up at me and licks their lips in a way that makes me want to shove them right back onto my dick. They reach for the lube from earlier and grab my hand, easing it off their head and turning it palm up to squirt lube into my palm. Then they guide my hand to my dick.
“Stroke yourself while you watch me finger the hot little hole you’re about to come inside.”
I shudder at the mental image of filling Jordie up with my cum. Actually ejaculating might have to remain a fantasy, but I like the dirty talk. A lot. Jordie kisses my neck, then goes to kneel on my bed. They present me with a perfect view of their gorgeous ass as they reach back to finger their hole with more of the lube.
I forget to stroke myself, hand still on my dick as I watch raptly. Jordie parts their own plump cheeks, two fingers disappearing inside of them with a sinful squelch and a breathy moan. They stretch their pretty pink pucker open, their skin glistening from the lube.
“Ready for a third finger. Want to help me?” Jordie winks at me over their shoulder and nods toward a disposable glove they set down on the mattress beside them. I scramble closer to get my hands on them, pulling the protective latex over my fingers. I massage the soft globes of their ass and wiggle a finger in alongside theirs. Jordie moans and arches back onto my digit.
“Mm, just like that. Feel how hot and tight I’m going to be around you, sunshine. Gonna milk the jizz right out of you.” Jordie teases, rocking onto me.
“Crise. I need you, Jords. J’ai envie de te baiser.”
“Yeah? Then fuck me, sunshine. Parle sale a moi, I fucking love it.”
“Dis-moi des cochonneries? Unless you mean literal dirt?” I suppress a snort of laughter at their attempt to translate the idiom.
“Sure, call me your little piggy. Whatever gets you off.” Jordie winks over their shoulder at me. It feels good to get to share even this part of myself with them. No need to be self-conscious over which language I’m using, and to know that they trust me with their fumbling beginner French.
“Maybe I’ll make you squeal like a little piggy,” I tease as I slip another finger inside of them, relishing the silky heat of their body.
What would it feel like for them to hug my flesh and blood cock like this? Maybe someday I can find out, but I’m not ready for that kind of surgery right now. Still, just imagining it is enough to have my t-dick straining under the strap-on.
“Think you can?” Jordie challenges me. “Better ditch the glove and wrap your cock so you can try.”
“Yeah, that works.” I pull my fingers free, taking the suggestion as an invitation to get inside of them. Mindful of the precautions we’ve discussed for anal play, I invert the glove as I peel it off and drop it in the trash beside my bed.
I can’t wait to sink between Jordie’s plump ass cheeks as I reach for the foil packet they brought out of the washroom with them. It’s a surreal feeling to roll the latex over myself instead of a partner. I take a minute to savor the sensation, stroking more lube along my length. “You ready?”
“Mhm, so ready.” Jordie wriggles their delectable ass. I get back in position behind them and line up my tip with their hole. Teasing them with a light touch, pressing against their rim, then pulling back. Jordie groans and rocks into me, taking the tip.
“Oh!” I gasp as I watch myself slotting into their body. “Mmm, look at you taking me, comme ma bonne petite saloppe.” As the words slip out, clearly feminine, I worry that might not be the right tone for this, but Jordie just moans and fucks back onto my cock. Guess they liked it. And they said to err on the side of femme terms for French, so I’m going to go with what makes them moan for me.
“Mhm, fuck my slutty hole, sunshine. Need it so bad.”
“Yeah, you do. Need me to fill that sloppy wet pussy, huh?” I thrust into them experimentally, and they move to meet me with another breathy moan. It’s so good, I can’t help but tell them how incredible they make me feel. “Tu me fais me sentir si bien.”
“Mm, angle up a little more?” Jordie squirms under me and I reach down to adjust myself and get the angle just right for them. I thrust again. Jordie sighs. “Mhm, just like that. Fuck me, Ray.”
I hold their hips steady and fuck into them again, working up to firmer strokes. It feels so good to take them, to thrust in and stake my claim on their body. To make them shudder and shake with breathy little pleasure sounds falling from their lips. It’s a raw primal sense of myself that makes me feel more whole than I ever have during sex.
Their fists clench in my sheets as they ride me. I need more stimulation, and I need to fuck them over the edge. I toggle on my cock’s vibration feature as seek their p-spot and the perfect buzzing pressed right against my t-dick while I fuck into them is exquisite. So is the squeal they try to muffle in my pillow before babbling softly.
“Mmmff. Ohhhhh. Ray. Fuck. Fuck me. Nngh.”
Pretty sure I found the right angle. I rub their back, thrusting into them and loving the way I’m making them come apart for me.
“Juste comme ?a. Parfait. Ma parfaite petite cochonnette.” I pound into that spot, driving them wild as I cling to my restraint, desperate not to come too soon. The vibrations are perfect and the fact it’s Jordie I’m fucking into incoherence and just, everything about this is bliss and I never want it to end.
I snap my hips, driving my dick into them, every move a revelation. This is what it’s like to be the one doing the fucking, to burrow inside of my love and find my home in their heart. I love it. And I love them. I’m so glad I saved this moment to share it with someone who will understand the hot tears running down my cheeks at the sense of completion I’m feeling as I merge our bodies, rocking into them. How supremely masculine and myself topping them like this makes me feel.
I can’t go back to only ever showing the world pieces of myself, and now I don’t have to. The thrumming buzz of the vibrations and the fulfillment of being able to be with my love in this way is indescribable. I’m panting for breath, clinging on to my control by a thread. Then Jordie lifts onto their elbows, changing the angle as I thrust in deep, and smiling over their shoulder at me, their face a revelation as they grunt.
“Oh, gonna… can’t… I’m coming,” Jordie says, voice breaking as they do just that.
Jordie on a normal day is gorgeous, but they’re stunning, coming with me balls deep inside of them. I’ve had plenty of good sex, but nothing compares to tipping over the edge of bliss right behind them.
It’s never been this good with anyone else. For all that my dick is made of silicone and covered in a condom, I’ve never had so little between me and my past lovers. A physical barrier is nothing compared to the invisible walls guarding my heart and distancing me from everyone else who has come with me.
Sex has never been this vulnerable, and real. Never before have I come with my lover crooning about what a good boy I am, and how hot my dick is. Before, there was always a part of me braced for the jarring reminders I was hiding a huge part of myself from my lovers. The unwitting misgendering.
With Jordie, there’s nothing to hide. Nothing to hold back. I can make love to them with my whole being and I get to see the whole of them in return. It’s gloriously freeing in ways I didn’t know I needed before having it.
They make everything seem so much brighter. Simpler. Their total acceptance gives me hope I can be as open about myself and the version of myself I show the world as they are. They gave me the courage to open up to my family. Now that I’ve done that, I have no more doubts that I can face anything the world has to throw at me.
I cling to Jordie as I come, willing the moment to last. When I look at them, they’re what I want as my forever. We can figure out what happens after they graduate and which country to live in and all the details together. It’s all trivial as long as I get to spend the rest of my life making love to them and sharing all my big moments with them. I can only hope they feel the same.