Chapter Ten #2
An attendee steps into the room several minutes later with a wheelchair.
I chuckle to myself, thinking how I must have walked fifty miles or more through the snow on a broken leg, and they want me to sit in a wheelchair to walk to another part of the building.
I swing my legs off the bed and step into my new stabilizing brace with Velcro straps.
I’m not surprised the one Spencer made for me with rods from the airplane seats and seat buckles was just as supportive.
“Hi, I’m Dave. I’m here to take you to Spencer.”
“Hello. You really don’t have to take me in that. I can walk.”
“I’m sure you can, but it’s hospital policy, so get comfortable.” He smiles and pats the back of the chair.
“All right, then,” I say, grabbing the armrests and lowering myself down.
Although he is pleasant, we make minimal small talk along the way as my heart beats in my ears.
The motorized whoosh of the door opens as we arrive at the ICU.
It smells of lemon and ammonia as he veers to the side to let another patient on a gurney pass, and he and the other attendee nod and exchange pleasantries.
I’m wheeled into a room near the end of the hall.
An older couple rises as I enter, but I don’t acknowledge them because Dave swivels my chair towards the bed, and my gaze locks on Spencer.
My eyes burn, and my throat tightens before I can process the sight of him.
His face has large, deep bruises climbing up from under his short dark beard.
The knicks and scratches we healed from the original crash are back again, marking his nose and forehead.
He is hooked up to an IV, heart monitor, oxygen saturation monitor, automatic blood pressure cuff, and wires coming out from under his hospital gown, leading to various other machines.
The most competent and capable man I’ve ever known is lying before me, utterly helpless and fighting for his life.
I dig my fingers into the armrests of the wheelchair as I tremble with sadness, fear, and anger.
I sniff back steady tears as I rise on shaky legs and go to him, curling my hand around his IV-free hand, and with the other, gently stroke my fingers down his arm.
“I’m here,” I whisper as I stare at his sleeping face.
He looks at peace, but I want those dark eyes to open and fixate on me, full of fire and determination.
“We already did the hard part, Spencer. You just rest. We made it. Come back to me when you’re ready.
” I lean forward and softly kiss his forehead.
My lips linger, and as I close my eyes, a few tears roll off my nose and fall into his hair, and I smooth them back.
A clearing of a throat from behind me breaks my attention, and I feel eyes on me as I straighten. I had forgotten I’m not alone. I turn around to Dave and the older couple, both silently staring at me with somber expressions, but also with something else: hope.
“Hi, I’m Spencer’s aunt Amiee, and this is his uncle Fred. I’m assuming you were the one stranded with him.”
“Yes, I’m Amanda.”
She nods. “The doctors said the surgery went well. They are closely monitoring him, and the next twenty-four hours are critical. He had a lot of internal injuries and bleeding.”
“He saved my life. Many times. He even sacrificed himself to save me.” My voice cracks as I wipe warm tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand.
“That sounds like Spencer,” she says as her eyes well up and she smiles. Fred wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her against him as his chin trembles.
“Spencer told me he lived with you after the accident. He speaks very highly of you.”
“He did. He’s special, as I’m sure you’ve learned.
He needs to find peace and to let someone into that beautiful, damaged heart of his, and I hope he found it out there with you.
” My breath stills. She seems to know her nephew quite well.
That fighting for his life, and also saving the life of another, in a situation where he can’t run from his past, could be exactly what he needed.
“We’ll give you some time alone with him,” she says gently, and they walk out with Fred’s arm still around her shoulder.
“Do you want me to pull a chair up next to him?” asks Dave.
“Yes, thank you.”
He lifts a light gray cushioned seat and places it next to Spencer’s side.
“Press the call button when you’d like to return to your room.”
“Okay, thank you.”
I take Spencer’s hand back in mine. “I just met your aunt and uncle briefly, but they seem nice. Maybe I can chat more with them later.” It’s almost too painful to look at him in this state, but I know he’ll pull through.
The memory of him lifting me into the tree, securing my safety over his, flashes into my mind, along with the last moments our eyes connected before the avalanche swept him away.
I clench my jaw, suppressing another sob threatening to escape.
“Tyler will be here later. When you wake up, I’d love for you to meet him.
” I squeeze his hand, longing to hear his voice, but all I hear is the squeak of rubber-soled shoes in the hallway and the steady beat of his heart on the monitor.
I spend most of the day with Spencer before returning to my room, as Tyler is getting close.
I refuse to lie in my bed despite Zona’s instruction.
Instead, I sit in a visitor’s chair, the easiest and fastest way for me to bolt up and hug my son.
My heel bounces up and down on the floor.
My hands are sweaty, and I can’t stop fidgeting.
I scrunch the fabric of my hospital gown at my chest as the minutes feel like hours.
When the door finally swings open and Tyler steps through, I spring to my feet and lunge at him and fall to my knees.
I grasp his face in my hands and smile through blinding tears before securing him against me as my body shakes uncontrollably, and I fold over him.
“I knew you’d make it back, Mommy. That’s all I asked Santa for.”
It’s been three days, and Spencer’s vitals have stabilized, but he still remains in a coma.
The doctors said they won’t know if he’s sustained any permanent brain damage until he wakes up.
His body has put itself into a protective state to heal.
I’m the only visitor allowed, other than his aunt and uncle.
I’m being discharged today after three days, but I don’t want to leave Spencer.
I check into a local hotel with the plan of staying a few days to be here when Spencer wakes up.
Tyler is being a good sport, but I know he wants to be home for Christmas.
My parents have also checked into the same hotel to help watch and entertain him during the times that I visit Spencer.
Spencer’s aunt and uncle have continued to stay and wait for him to wake.
After the sixth day, I reluctantly decide to return home for Tyler and my parents.
I ask the doctors and Spencer’s aunt and uncle to call me the moment his eyes open.
The doctors gave me Valium to fly back, as I was unsure if I would ever board an airplane again.
I sit next to Tyler on the plane. His eyes widen, and he asks, “What was it like, Mommy? Being stuck in the mountains, in the snow.”
Emotion washes through me as I steady my breath. How to answer this for a child… “It was scary, and a lot of things happened, but do you know what?”
“What?”
“You were my driving force, buddy. Thinking of you brought me home. There was no way I was never going to see this handsome face again,” I say, reaching out and grazing his cheek, and he smiles.
“Did you make a new friend with Spencer? The man in the hospital?”
I laugh and cover my mouth to suppress it from turning into tears, something I’ve been very accustomed to over the past month.
“Yes, Spencer is a new friend. You’d like him a lot.
He taught me how to make torches, and we spent our nights by campfires.
We found a cave that we lived in with water so warm it was like a bath.
We even befriended wolves; can you believe that? ”
“Wolves?” His already large, doe-like blue eyes become saucers, and I laugh and hug him.
“Yes, wolves. I still can’t believe it.”
“Can I meet him when he wakes up?”
My heart warms but also plummets. What if he doesn’t? What happens now that we are back home and off a mountain?
“Of course, you can, sweetheart.”
Four days later, my phone rings at 4:30 a.m. Spencer has woken up and is asking for me.
I immediately book a flight and call my parents to come over and watch Tyler.
Once they arrive, I throw a few items into my carry-on bag and hop on a plane back to the hospital, terrified, but clinging to the logic that I was in a rare situation.
I do not take a Valium because I need to rent a car.
Eleven hours later, I arrive and stride as quickly as my boot will allow me through the automatic doors of the hospital.
My limbs are heavy as I walk down the hall of the ICU.
My arms feel like they are holding bowling balls as I swing open his door.
His eyes fixate on mine, and time stops as all the air escapes me.
I rush towards the bed and almost dive on top of him, but restrain myself at the last moment, so as not to further harm his injuries.
“You came back,” he whispers as he reaches for my face, and I lean into it.
“Of course, I came back.” I drop my forehead to his and close my eyes, inhaling his scent of pine, Old Spice, and pure Spencer, and am immediately brought back to our nights next to the fire. “Thank God, you’re all right.”
“Hi, dear. We’ll leave you two alone,” says Fred with a gentle smile, and he and Amiee shuffle out the door.