21 Sam
I’d somehow fallen to sleep in that wet, cold cave with my body pressed up against Saleuk’s. He was plenty warm and the feel of him made all the danger and noise go away, granting me one of the best slumbers of my life yet again. When I woke, I saw his silhouette at the mouth of the cave, leaning against the stone with his arms crossed and his back turned to me. It was barely drizzling. Sparse amounts of orange light bled through the clouds and runoff from atop the mountain was slowing down enough to not look like we’d spent the night behind a waterfall.
Quietly, I sat up and reached for my jumpsuit. At some point after we had sex, I’d slipped on my leggings again, but my shoes and jumpsuit were in a pile next to the wall. When he heard me, Saleuk turned, and seeing his face sent a wonderful shiver through me. He was fully dressed in his thermal suit again and as I pulled the sleeves of my jumpsuit on, he zipped up his jacket and walked toward me. He had to duck his head a little to navigate the cave, but not for long before he sat himself against the wall.
“Remember how I said I didn’t want to spend another night here?” I said jokingly.
His mouth quirked and he held out a hand, gesturing for me to sit with him. I stepped over and without even thinking, nestled up to his side, seeking his warmth. Not that it was incredibly cold, but the rain did bring a little chill with it and I liked having an excuse to be close to Saleuk.
“The storm is easing,” he explained. “The ship is hovering, but they don’t want to land until it’s safe.”
“I guess I understand,” I sighed.
He stretched his arms up, sliding his hands behind his head with a groan of relief.
“Just means you have to spend more time with me.”
I laughed. Not that spending time with him was torture. “Please, no,” I said flatly.
He laughed with me and, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, I turned my body a bit to the side, bending my legs over his lap. Saleuk ran his eyes up from my feet to my thighs and then lowered a hand to rest across my hip. Our gazes met and we just stared. I was in awe at the fact that I found him so beautiful, despite how inhuman he was. He was like an alien cover model.
“Are you ok?” he asked in a gentle, soothing tone.
“Yeah. A little bruised, but I’m fine.”
“No, I mean…” his gaze dropped for a second to my thighs and I knew immediately what he meant.
I wriggled a bit and then shrugged, smiling bashfully.
“A little sore,” I admitted. “But a good sore.”
“A good sore?” He smirked and I knew he was fishing for some kind of compliment.
And I couldn’t help myself. I giggled like a schoolgirl.
“If you consider a good sore to be a sexy reminder of what we did, then yes.”
His smirk flattened and I watched his eyes wander with thought. I didn’t like it.
“What?”
“Sam…” His eyes remained elsewhere, troubled. “What we did last—”
“No. Don’t say something stupid like you regretted it. It was my first time and I swear to god that if—”
“Sam,” he cut me off, reaching around to grab my hand. “I swear I’ve never wanted to do anything more. But… it was stupid.”
“What?” I pulled my legs off his lap and curled in on myself.
Quickly, Saleuk turned to face me, hands gently rubbing the sides of my legs.
“That’s not what I mean. It wasn’t some kind of virtual experience last night. It was real and the reality is that you could get pregnant and that’s not something anyone understands how to handle yet.”
“I know it wasn’t virtual. I’m not an idiot.”
“I didn’t say that. Those weren’t the right words. What I mean is that I was being foolish to do that knowing what could happen and I shouldn’t have let it go so far.”
“You didn’t. I was all over you.”
“But I don’t think you know all the risks.”
“Do you?”
“Well… not entirely, but—”
“Then you’re not to blame. Not completely.”
“You don’t understand…”
I shifted my weight, closing in on myself a little more. “Stop saying that. It’s freaking me out.”
“I’m—”
“Stop. I don’t want to think about anything beyond how nice it was. Not this second, ok?”
He surrendered to the pouty look on my face with a tired blin and scooted closer to me, stooping his head a bit to stare deep into my eyes.
“I cannot tell you how much I wanted you these past few days. How much I wanted you last night or even how much I want you right now. I regret nothing in that sense. Please tell me you know that.”
The sincerity in my eyes was overwhelmingly warm. I couldn’t help myself. A gentle smile spread across my lips and my heart fluttered. If that look was going to become regular, I would never be able to get angry at him ever again.
“I guess I know,” I said just as a loud rumble shook the sky. I looked up at the cave roof as if I could see the sky through it. “Storm?”
“No. That was a ship entering the atmosphere.”
I perked up immediately. “Really?”
“Yes. Come on. We have a bit more hiking to do.”
He tapped my leg and then stood, helping me to my feet. We slung our packs over our shoulders and headed out of the cave. That time, Saleuk took my hand. And he didn’t let it go until we reached the top of the mountain where a valerian ship was waiting for us.