20. Margot
TWENTY
Margot
He was wearing a tux. Even though his body hadn’t completely filled out, Caleb looked handsome. He had lost the awkwardness of the elementary and middle school years. The braces were gone. His hair was styled. He was standing in front of the house. This house. I recognized the row of rose buses and gardenia bushes even if they were young and newly planted in the picture.
Next to him was Josie Queen. I admired her long sequin gown. It was blue and the corsage on her wrist was a combination of pink and white flowers.
“You and Josie?” My throat felt tight.
Caleb exhaled. “That was a long time ago.” He grabbed the silver frame from my hands and placed it in the back row so it was hidden by all the others. “It’s an old prom picture.”
“So were you a couple? Or just a date? What is that?”
“Really? She’s like a little sister to me. She grew up next door. You know that. There are like ten dates to choose from on the island. We went as friends. Platonic friends. I swear.”
I suddenly felt like an idiot. What was wrong with me? Josie had said the same thing about Caleb more than once. They bickered like siblings.
“I don’t know why I reacted like that.”
“Maybe the same way I want to punch Dean or Ethan or whoever comes within ten feet of you.” He winked.
“Yeah, but I shouldn’t want to punch Josie. She’s been a good friend to me since I moved here. Sometimes I feel stupid when I’m the last to find out something. You all have known each other for so long. There’s so much history here and I can’t make up for that.”
Caleb looked at me. “It’s just history.”
I nodded. “Right.”
He turned me toward him. His fingers gripped the sides of my shoulders. “You know I would trade all that history for this? This is better than a platonic friend date to the prom when I was sixteen.”
I giggled. I couldn’t help myself. “Well, when you put it that way.”
“Yeah, this is what I want. You and me, baby.”
“But that thing Jacob said about being stationed in other places?”
He shook his head. “Don’t listen to Jacob. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here on this island with you.”
Dinner had been fun and easy. I liked Caleb’s family. His dad was charming and warm. His mother was sweet and kind. Then there was Jacob who was a complete wild card. All together, they were fantastic and I loved every minute except the part when I learned Caleb could get orders to leave. The uneasiness in my stomach hadn’t subsided, even with the easy conversation and two glasses of wine.
I didn’t know why I had held on to it like an omen. I trusted Caleb. The night he went missing I realized I really could lose him. All of us could lose him.
“Do you think we could go home?” I asked.
“What?” His eyes widened. “Everything okay?”
I nodded. “I’m in my head too much. I’m sorry.”
His parents walked into the living room and Adam picked up the remote. “Braves are on. Let me check the score.”
They didn’t notice the tension between us. They sat in what I could tell were their regular spots. His dad in a recliner. His mom at the end of the couch, next to him. They fit together. There was a stack of books on the end table by Stella. I wondered how many she had read or if they were all her planned pile to sort through while Adam watched a baseball game.
I turned to Stella. “Thank you so much for dinner. For everything. We need to go. I think. Unless you want to stay here longer?” I suggested to Caleb. The guilt gnawed at me for dragging him away from his parents.
Once the words were out there, there was no way for Caleb to talk me out of it, especially in front of his parents.
“Are you sure?” Stella sounded surprised.
“Yes. It’s been so nice, but I have some early deliveries in the morning at the marina. I’m not exactly a morning person,” I explained. I didn’t want to tell her that the anxiety of my relationship was starting to crush me in her living room.
Adam and Stella rose to their feet. I expected handshakes, but they each pulled me into a big embrace. It had been a long time since I’d felt warmth like that. Warmth from a parent. From someone who wanted to hold on to you and protect you from the outside world. It was almost as if I was hugging my own parents.
I cleared my throat. I didn’t want to crack in front of them. “Do you know where Jacob is? I wanted to say goodbye.”
“He’s on the deck on his phone,” Stella answered. “I’ll tell him you’ll see him next time. It sounded serious. I don’t think we should interrupt.”
“Okay.” Caleb and I walked to the front door. I gave Stella one more hug. I couldn’t help myself.
“Tell Gabe I’m going to cook all his favorites.”
“I will. Don’t worry. Bye, Mom. Dad. Thanks for dinner.” Caleb trailed behind me and opened the passenger side of the truck for me. I climbed in.
Neither of us said a word as he drove to the Blue Heron. He reached across the console for my knee and stroked my arm. He pulled into the parking lot. I reached for the door handle as soon as the truck was in park.
“I’ll text you tomorrow.”
His brow furrowed. “Is that your way of telling me I’m not staying over tonight? What the hell happened back there, Margot?”
I twisted my lips together. “Do you really want to know?” I questioned.
“Yes, I do. If it’s about what Jacob said, I’m telling you to stop worrying about it.”
“You can’t tell me what to stop worrying about. It doesn’t work like that. My brain doesn’t work like that.”
“I know it doesn’t.” He sighed. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do.”
“You spend every night here,” I blurted.
“And that’s a problem?”
I closed my eyes. This was going sideways faster than I could have expected. “It’s not. No, that’s not what I mean.” I softened my voice. “It’s never been a problem. I think I want a little time to think tonight. And it’s not to make things worse. I’m a mess right now all of a sudden.”
“All right. I’ll head back to base, I guess. Text me tomorrow. Some time,” he added.
He put the truck in reverse. “Caleb?”
He didn’t wait around. He backed out of the gravel lot and began to drive away. I hung my head. What had I just done? I saw the taillights fade as he rounded the corner.
I turned to stick my key in the lock when the crunch of tires over gravel became louder not softer. I spun around. Caleb was driving right back toward me.