21. Margot
TWENTY-ONE
Margot
He slid the truck into park and slammed the door. I saw the cloud of dust billow around the headlights before they automatically shut off. I didn’t know what was coming next, but I didn’t expect him to look angry when he stormed toward me. He had every right to be. I had pushed him away from me.
There was something fierce and confident in how he climbed the stairs. How his body took up all the oxygen on the porch, even though we were standing outside.
“We aren’t doing this,” he growled. His jaw clenched.
“Doing what?” I eked.
“We promised each other. You promised me. I’m not sleeping anywhere other than next to you.”
I felt the way my fingers tingled as if my hands had fallen asleep and were now suddenly awake. They pulsed just like the rest of my body. His words lodged under my ribs and strapped themselves around my heart.
“I’m not getting back in that truck. I’m not driving away from you. We don’t have to talk out every single detail, but I’m not leaving you.”
My head moved up and down. I heard him. My entire body heard him. This was what it meant when someone kept their promises. When they showed up. When they didn’t leave just because I couldn’t handle a hard night or a rough thought.
“I don’t want to keep pushing you away,” I whispered. “I don’t want to, it just happens and then...” I looked up at him. His hands slid to the sides of my face.
“Because you’re fucking scared. I don’t think you know any other way to be. Yet,” he added.
“So why do you keep coming back?” It was possibly the scariest question I had ever asked him.
The pad of his thumb brushed against my cheekbone. I leaned into the warmth of his palm. It didn’t erase the fear, but it eased the pain. He always did.
“How do I not come back?” There was an edge of anguish in his voice. Had I done that to him? Seven years ago. Now. All of it was tied into the story of us.
“I’m scared you’ll give up on me.” I gulped. It was honest. The full truth, laid bare here on the tiny stoop of the cottage.
“You know when I was rolling down the drive away from you, I had to force myself to keep my boot on the accelerator. And then I asked myself why I was doing that. If it was that hard to keep my foot on the gas. I had to think about it. Force it. Why was I doing it when all I wanted was to turn around? I’d rather fight all night. Sleep on the couch. Hold you. Whatever it is we do, I’d do any of it but leave you again, Margot.”
“Then don’t.” I blinked a couple of tears away as his mouth found mine.
It wasn’t a rough or punishing kiss. It was laced with gentle strokes of his tongue. A way to bind our breath together with forgiveness and understanding. He knew I was messy and afraid. He knew I had been abandoned over and over in my life. Sticking to one person was terrifying, even though he was the one I wanted.
I never doubted that Caleb was where my heart was. I realized tonight when Jacob droned on about the different stations and orders that Caleb could leave. That fear had struck so deeply. Wounded me to my core. It was as violent a realization that he could have been killed the other night from the attack on the ocean.
His hands moved through my hair, tilting my mouth upward. His tongue thrashed deeper and with more hunger.
“Let’s go in,” he suggested. “Or are you going to make me sleep on the couch?”
I smiled, my eyes darting to the concrete where a tiny treefrog had taken refuge for the night.
“No, I don’t think that was the best idea.” I threaded my fingers through his and led him inside.
* * *
T he next morning, I climbed out of bed before my alarm sounded. I didn’t know if I had slept two hours or none. I tossed from one side of the bed to the other, thinking about everything that happened between Caleb and me. Thinking about our argument. Thinking about him leaving and then returning in less than thirty seconds.
I realized he wasn’t next to me. He must have gone out to the pier to nail more boards down. It was his last day of leave before Guthrie said he could return to patrol.
I groaned, knowing that it was pointless to keep tangling myself up in the quilt. There were two deliveries scheduled for today. I needed to be showered, dressed, and caffeinated before they arrived.
When I made it downstairs and peeked out the kitchen window, Caleb wasn’t on the pier. His truck wasn’t in the drive either. I was about to text him as soon as I had poured my first cup of coffee, but was interrupted. I heard the sound of a truck beeping. I hurried onto the screen porch. I smiled. It was the ice truck.
I walked out to greet the driver.
He stepped out of the vehicle and sauntered over with a clipboard. “Good morning. You ordered an ice cooler.”
I grinned. “I sure did.”
“Where do you want her?” He handed me the delivery ticket to sign.
I walked him over to the only portion of the marina that had a covered section of deck. There was also an electrical outlet that could handle the ice cooler. It was going to get wet outside in the elements, but it was slightly protected.
“I measured. I want it to go here, and then the drink machine, when it gets here, will go right next to it.”
“All right.” He assessed the situation, turning his ball cap from the front of his forehead so the brim was facing backward. “I can do that.”
He walked back over to the truck and began to back up. He made sure he was as close to the decking as possible before he lowered the cooler onto a dolly and rolled it up onto the pier.
I didn’t know I could be excited about a commercial ice cooler. I didn’t know I could admire how shiny it was. Beautiful really. When I looked at it, I knew it meant income for the marina. It wouldn’t be much, but it would be steady. Items like ice and drinks, and maybe one day snacks, would invite people to come here and load up their coolers for the day before they took their boats on the water. It was progress. The ice cooler was my first step in turning the Blue Heron around. I hoped it would come in handy for Movies on the Marina.
The delivery driver plugged in the cooler. We both smiled when we heard the hum as the machine turned on.
“It’s going to take a couple of hours, but should be nice and cold soon for you. You’ve got your ice delivery set up?”
I nodded. “The ice will be here tomorrow.”
“Good deal.” He flipped his hat back around. “Let us know if you need another one. I can always bring a second one out.”
I laughed. “Let me see how the first one goes.” I hoped the ice sales were profitable enough I would need a second cooler. It was an obtainable goal to set.
He tipped his hat and climbed in the truck. A cloud of dust formed as he drove away. I looked over at John fishing on the end of the pier. If he had noticed the cooler, he didn’t react. I would ask him about it later.
I heard the crunch of gravel, expecting to see the drink machine truck, but when I looked at the drive, it was a different truck. It was Caleb. He was back.
My stomach flipped.
He jumped out of the truck. He was in a soft grey surfing T-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. He carried a small bouquet of flowers.
“Caleb,” I whispered. “What is that?”
“For you.” He stood inches away.
“You got me flowers?”
“I did, baby. You’ve been through a lot. I wanted to do something.”
The flowers were already wilting in the heat. I wished he weren’t wearing sunglasses so I could see his eyes. They always told me so much about what he was thinking and feeling.
“I’m sorry,” I sucked in the words.
“No, you aren’t going to apologize for last night. We figured it out. In more ways than one.” He smirked, and I had to believe there was a wink behind the sunglasses.
He handed me the flowers.
“I should put them in water.” I walked inside, and Caleb followed.
I hadn’t gotten past the table before he pulled me into his arms. His mouth covered mine. His lips crushingly passionate. I moaned at the first taste of his tongue. My hands wrapped around his neck. The world was right side up again. This was the type of spinning I understood. Our tongues tangled together as he sat me on the kitchen counter.
“I think we fell asleep too early last night,” he breathed.
“You think?” I teased.
He kissed the side of my neck, sliding the strap of my tank top to my shoulder. His tongue lingered against my throat. I licked the tip of his thumb as he brushed it over my lips. My core tingled, and everything inside me wanted him. I wanted to make things right. I wanted to show him I loved him. I wanted him to know I wasn’t angry anymore.
I purred as his hands slid along my ribs, lifting my shirt. He rubbed my nipples. I wanted to take all of this in. Relish in how we could reconnect after a night neither of us could get back. My knees widened, inviting him in. I wrapped my legs against his waist, in awe when he pressed the silhouette of his hard cock against my center.
“I want you, Margot,” he whispered against my neck.
“There’s nothing stopping you,” I teased.
Our heads jerked forward when we heard a car door slam. I leaned back to peer out the window.
Caleb growled, “Dean.”