25. Margot
TWENTY-FIVE
Margot
I wasn’t sure how long I stayed crumpled in the gravel road. I only knew that at some point, the mosquitoes overpowered my resistance. I made my way back to the cottage and upstairs to the shower. I washed the dirt and gravel from my knees as if I were in slow motion.
I turned off the water and toweled off. I dressed and sat on my bed, staring at my phone.
How had this happened? How had Caleb been ripped away suddenly and without warning?
I sent him a text. He didn’t answer. God, I didn’t want to hide in my bed anymore. I didn’t want to go back to the dark places I had been. I’d finally crawled out of those holes. I stood, knowing the temptation to just wrap the quilt against myself was strong. I headed downstairs, grabbed a book from the shelf, and walked to the screened porch. The sun was setting. It didn’t seem likely that there was a hurricane just off the coast headed this way.
The heron coasted over the water with only a peaceful flap of his wings. I looked for him every day. It seemed his favorite time to appear was when the sun was going down. When the sky was lit up with orange and pink, as if it was storing embers just below the surface that glowed and lit up the clouds. There was an air of tranquility that was about to be eviscerated.
I sat in the corner chair. The one I had claimed this summer that had the best view. I tucked my phone next to me and checked it every five minutes. I must have read the same page at least three times before I moved on to the next, but I knew that didn’t mean I had remembered what I read. I wasn’t sure I knew the title of the book. All I could think about was Caleb. Was he packing? Was he telling his parents what happened?
I felt helpless. I felt responsible. If the money hadn’t traveled through the marina and across Dean’s hands, this wouldn’t have happened. I wondered if Caleb ever thought Dean would go as far as he did in his investigation to uncover the truth. We both knew it wasn’t the truth Dean was after—it was something darker. More sinister. Control. Power. Knowledge to use against someone. He had all the leverage he needed to get Caleb off the island. I thought I was going to be sick all over again. I took a sip of water and refocused on the page in front of me.
The darkness curled around the porch. I could barely hear the frogs tonight. I wondered if it was because they were preparing for the hurricane. Their instincts had taught them to burrow into the boggy marsh and hide until the storm was over. I realized that’s the same instinct I had.
I traipsed inside, dropping the book on the table. I checked my phone again. I couldn’t stand it. I called Caleb.
“Hi. Please call me. I want to hear your voice. I want to know you’re okay. I need to know I’m going to see you before you leave Marshoak.” I almost choked on the last sentence. I carried my phone with me upstairs.
He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. I knew he wouldn’t. He loved me. Had protected me since the moment we met on the pier. He had looked out for me in every way possible. I believed Caleb and I would find a way to fight this. We had to.
I laid down on the bed, clutching my phone to my chest, but not before I turned the volume all the way up.
When I opened my eyes, it was morning. The sky was dotted with clouds.
I ran downstairs. No. No. No. It was after six. I looked across the sound. I saw the ferry traveling to the other side. It was nearing the dock at Pointe Harbor.
My breath left my body. I held the phone to my ear. Either Caleb’s phone was off, or he had sent me straight to voicemail because I went straight to his mailbox.
I didn’t leave a message this time. I hung up and sat on the steps of the cottage. I was completely lost on what to do next.
* * *
The meteorologist said the storm was going to make a direct hit on the North Carolina coast. The hope that the hurricane was going to spin out to sea was gone. I watched maps and radar projections. I heard the words. I still didn’t know what to do.
I jumped when there was a knock on the door. I’d been huddled on my couch all morning watching the weather updates.
“Caleb?” I rushed to see who it was.
I opened the door and gawked at Adam and Stella O’Connor.
“Hi, honey. We came to help.”
“I—um—I..”
Stella put an arm around me. “We knew you’d need someone to show you how to get ready for the storm.”
I wanted to cry on her shoulder. I wanted to tell her her son had broken my heart, but maybe it was my fault. I wanted her to know I was confused and hurt. I was scared of the hurricane. I didn’t know what to do.
Adam spoke up. “Come on out, and we’ll get started. We’ve got tonight, but she’ll be here tomorrow, and we can’t work in the dark.”
I held it in. All the emotions and the tears.
“Don’t you have to get your house ready?” I asked.
Adam grinned. “Don’t worry about that. I’ve been doing it for years.”
Stella stepped aside as I walked onto the porch with her and was astonished to see so many people from Marshoak Island in the parking lot of the Blue Heron. Nan and Josie. Bill, who ran the market. Jacob was unloading materials. Even John was standing there in the group.
“What’s this?” I was stunned.
Adam cleared his throat. “Caleb wanted to make sure you were taken care of.”
I almost cracked then. I still don’t know how I held it together. “Caleb? He did this?”
Stella nodded. “We’ll talk later. First, let’s board up the porch as best we can, and the guys can tie down the boats.” She squeezed my hand.
More people came to help. Some I knew and others I met for the first time. We worked the rest of the afternoon. Jacob secured the ice and drink machines, my prized possessions. John stored things in the storage shed for me. Adam nailed boards across the lower windows. Nan told me how to fill the bathtub with water and helped me fill jugs so I would have enough when the power went out.
“Are you sure we’ll lose power?” I asked.
She groaned. “Always do. We never know how long. That’s the only difference from storm to storm. It could be a day. It could be a week. It’s better to have enough water and candles. You have flashlights and batteries?”
I nodded. “I think I have enough.”
“What about food?” she wanted to know.
If it wasn’t for Caleb, I probably wouldn’t have any, but he kept the pantry stocked and cooked dinner most nights. I had plenty of food to last.
“You could stay with us,” Stella offered. “It’s your first hurricane. That might be the best idea.”
Adam walked over. He had overheard the conversation. “I think that’s a plan. You don’t need to be here by yourself.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was worried about leaving the Blue Heron. What if something happened? What if I was cut off from everyone? The more I thought about it, the more the offer seemed like something I couldn’t refuse.
“Okay. But I have a few things to do tonight. I’ll pack up and come in the morning. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” Stella smiled. “Get a good night’s sleep, and we’ll see you tomorrow.”
The group started packing up the equipment and gear from the day. The extra plywood was hauled back into the truck. Jacob loaded the saws and drills. I watched them work as a team.
Josie came over. “I’m sorry about Caleb.” I hadn’t seen her much since the day she had delivered the news to me about Caleb going missing.
“I can’t talk about it.” My voice cracked. “Him. I just can’t.”
“Stay safe in the storm, okay?” She turned to go.
I nodded. “Josie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for coming over and helping.” I wanted to be a better friend to her. To show up for her, too. “Thank you.”
“Next time, you can help me board up the Clean Queen.” She laughed as she hopped in her SUV.
“I will. I think I’ll have this figured out before the next storm.” My heart sank at the words. Everything about Marshoak Island was Caleb. I wanted to be here because of him. I wanted to stay and experience all of it with him. Picturing myself immersed with everyone he knew and grew up with didn’t make sense without him.
Josie drove off, followed by Nan and the others. I promised Stella and Adam I would see them tomorrow.
We’d worked the entire rest of the day. I was sore and exhausted. I checked my phone. He hadn’t responded to any of my texts. Not a single voicemail. Nothing. The devastation had spread from sadness to anger, back to sadness.
I climbed the stairs and went straight to the shower. I had to shower off the grime and sawdust. By the time I got in bed, I was too tired to text Caleb again.