Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Claire
I need to pull myself together: I’m at work and my boss is here.
Anna breezed in this morning, an armful of lush clothing draped over one arm.
Normally I would have been totally excited to see her and to try on the new clothing.
But it’s a struggle to be enthusiastic about anything at the moment.
Still, I try to make all the appropriate noises, trying on a few of the new pieces, choosing some for the window display.
But that just reminds me of how I met Bryce.
It’s beyond unbearable that his picture is still on the wall behind the till, set into its frame. I can hardly look at it.
I miss him, so much.
I don’t care about Simon, about work, about anything.
I’ve washed the sheets we slept in, only because I couldn’t bear to smell his scent and not have him near me.
And then cried as I took them out of the washing machine, wishing I could get it back.
I think I’ve lost my mind. In a way, I kind of understand how Simon feels now: the pain of loving someone when they don’t love you back is a vicious kind of hurt.
But I need to get on with things. I have a life down here. The fact that it suddenly seems grey and dull is just temporary, that’s all. I didn’t even know Bryce a month ago. I can move forward from this. I know I can.
“Is everything all right, Claire?”
I realise I’m standing at a rack, a top in my hand. It’s one of the new pieces, and I’m supposed to be deciding the best place to hang it. But instead, I’m staring into space like some sort of lovesick zombie.
Anna’s pretty face is screwed up in a frown.
She’s a few years older than me, frequently featured in those “30 businesswomen under 30” articles.
Her stores are doing really well. She started out with a shop in Bali, but she now has half a dozen in Victoria and NSW, and is about to open one in Perth.
She’s also looking at possibly expanding overseas.
She divides her time between a lush villa in Bali and a flash apartment in inner Melbourne, as well as travelling the world sourcing stock.
Her husband, Hamish, works in finance. He seems like a nice guy, but I’ve only met him once or twice.
I blink. “Uh, yeah. It’s fine.”
“You sure?” She comes out from behind the counter and takes the top out of my hand.
“I spoke to you three times before you answered. And you look tired. Are things catching up with you again?” Her voice is so kind, I almost burst into tears.
Anna knows about my parents and what happened to them.
She also knows about the Simon situation.
I had to tell her because he kept bombarding me with gifts and visits at work, to the point where it was disrupting things.
He was sent a polite cease and desist letter asking him to stop which, to my surprise, he obeyed.
And then, of course, when I finally broke free of him, Anna offered me a place to stay until things died down, a small apartment in Geelong she said was something to do with her husband’s finance company.
She’s a friend, as well as my boss. I know I need to tell her about this, not only because it’s affecting my job. I’m just not sure where to begin.
“It’s not that. It’s uh…” Then, to my horror, I actually do burst into tears.
“Oh, Claire.” Anna goes to the door of the shop, turns the sign to “Closed” and locks the door. She leads me into the small back room, sitting me down on the chair at the desk and hands me a box of tissues. She perches on the stool opposite me, her hands on her knees.
I haven’t told Joss and Sal what’s going on.
I’m too embarrassed. Claire and her pathetic mess of a love life again.
Let them think I’m holed up with Bryce, making our way through the list Joss wrote.
The thought brings forth a fresh bout of tears.
I try to control myself, wiping my face and running my hands through my hair.
“Is it Simon again? Do you want to talk about it?”
I do want to talk about it, but I don’t need to burden my boss as well. As though she can sense this, Anna reaches out.
“It’s just us, two girls. I get it, believe me. Sometimes you need a place to talk.” She looks distant for a moment, a line appearing between her brows. “So come on, hit me with it.”
“Uh, I need you to… I need for the picture behind the till to be gone.”
“What?” Anna looks totally confused. I don’t blame her: I’m sure it’s the last thing she expected me to say. “What’s wrong with the poster?”
“It’s Bryce.” My voice cracks when I say his name. “He and I… um.” Then I break down and tell her everything.
By the time I finish, there’s a sheen of tears in Anna’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Claire. I’ve had so much going on… I didn’t realise.” She takes my hand, her voice rough with emotion. “Maybe you should take some time off.”
“But it’s the busiest time of the year!” I rescue my hand and grab another tissue, blowing my nose.
“My cousin, Corinne, is down for the summer. She can come and help out. And I’m staying for a little while longer as well. Plus, I’m sure Lisa will pick up another day if I ask her to.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” She leans in and hugs me. “And I’ll get that poster changed.”
I laugh through my tears, my battered heart warming at her kindness.
Anna pulls back from me. “I have to say though… I know Bryce is seen as a bit of a player, but I’ve run into him a couple of times through work and he seems like a lovely guy. Are you sure this isn’t all a big misunderstanding?”
“He stood me up and posted a photo of another girl, going on about how he loves her. I don’t know what I can misunderstand about that.”
Anna’s brows draw together, her blue gaze troubled. “Sure. I get it. But just … sometimes people can surprise you. Even if you think you know them well.”
Hmm. “Is everything all right with you? Sorry, I’ve been so all over the place I haven’t even asked.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me.” Anna waves her hand. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
“What, now?”
“Yes, now. I can run the shop for the rest of the day. Go home, get some rest, and don’t come back here for a couple of weeks.
We’ll be fine,” she says, over my half-hearted protests.
“Oh, and grab one of those green dresses. I think it’ll look perfect on you.
” She has the dress in a bag before I can say anything, handing it to me and practically shoving me out of the door.
She gives me a hug, squeezing me tight. “Heartbreak is tough,” she says, her hands on my arms. “So call me, whenever you like, if you need a chat.”
“Thank you,” I say, tearing up again at her kindness.
“And eat lots of chocolate,” she calls after me, as I head down the street to my car.
I get in, shutting the door and locking it, then rest my arms on the steering wheel and drop my head forwards. It’s quiet, which is such a relief. Maybe it’s a cop out, a cliché, but going home and wallowing in my sorrow while eating ice cream and chocolate sounds like exactly what I want to do.
My phone buzzes in my bag and I grab it.
Maybe Anna needs me to come back to the store.
But it’s a number I don’t recognise. I briefly consider not answering.
What if it’s Simon again? But what if it’s not?
I can’t spend my life avoiding answering calls just because it might be him.
He wins, if I do that. And there is no way I’m letting him win.
I answer. “Hello?”
“Claire?”
The sound of the voice on the other end of the line sends pleasure jolting through me, swiftly followed by pain.
It’s Bryce.
Bryce
Oh, thank fuck. I’ve got through to her. Just the sound of her voice makes my heart beat faster.
“Claire.” Her name tastes like sugar on my tongue. “Are you all right?”
There’s a pause. “What do you want?” Her voice is flat, a tremor to it.
My heart sinks. She’s pissed. I suppose she has cause. “Listen, I just want to—”
“No.” Her voice cracks, roughens. “You don’t get to do this shit.
You don’t get to come into my life and then just disappear, leaving me like this.
” She’s crying now. “And you don’t get to try the bullshit move of calling me from a different number, shit that Simon would do, just because what?
You feel like hooking up again? I’m not that girl, Bryce, and you should know that! ”
I feel sick. She’s right, of course. This is a total dick move. “Claire, please let me explain.”
“What is there to explain? You left me, and you moved on. Just, please, leave me alone.” She’s sobbing, and it’s breaking my heart. “Don’t make me block you again.”
“It’s not like that.”
I hear an intake of breath. “I can’t do this,” she mutters. Then she hangs up.
I stare at the phone, not sure what just happened, other than I think I made everything worse. Jeff isn’t looking at me. I put his phone on the table and stare into my latte.
Anger is building, though, along with the pain. I pull out my own phone and try her number one more time. Still blocked.
“Fuck this,” I mutter. I block her number as well. When I look up Jeff’s face is creased with concern.
“Maybe you could—”
“Nah. I’m done. The sponsors are happy, aren’t they?
You said the content was doing great numbers.
So, job done. Time to move on.” Despite the fact that my chest feels as though it’s cracking open, this is what I have to do.
Put on a brave face again, good old Bryce, loves a beer and a shag.
But I also love to surf. “Where am I booked to go next?”
“What?”
“My next comp. Or filming. Or something. I need to get out of here.”
“Mate, if you want to surf, go surfing. You don’t need me to organise that. You’ve got nothing booked until Christmas, just like you wanted. Remember?”
“Fuck.” I bang my hand into the table so hard the cups rattle. “Well, change it. I want to do something.”
“What about your sister?”
Shit. I need to stick around for Millie and get her sorted.
This whole thing with Claire drove it from my mind for a moment, but now it comes flooding back, adding to my agony.
“Okay. Give me a couple of weeks, then I want to head out again.” I can’t bear the pity in Jeff’s eyes.
But to his credit, he nods, putting the agent persona back on once more.
“All right. I’ll sort something out. And maybe you should still come to the Ocean’s Curl party Friday. Might do you good to get out, chat with some new people.”
Yeah. It might. Or it might be fucking shit. But I need to do something, anything, to try and dislodge this pain in my chest. “Fine.” I stand up, putting money on the table for the coffees. “I’ll see you there.”