1. Tripp
Chapter 1
Tripp
Eight Years Later
Happy Birthday, Lucky! How’s it feel to be staring down the barrel of thirty?
Penny: You do know we’re the same age, right? *Unamused face emoji*
Ah, I’ve heard that the memory is the first thing to go when you get old. Since I’m a nice guy, I’ll kindly remind you that I’m twenty-eight, whereas you, darlin’, are twenty-nine, as of *checks watch* three hours ago.
Penny: Seriously? You’re going to nitpick over three months?
Sounds like it’s naptime over at the old folks’ home. * Smiling devil emoji*
Penny: You are literally the most annoying person I know.
Yeah, yeah. Keep tellin’ yourself that. You know you love me.
I held my breath as three dancing dots indicated she was typing her reply, silently praying she would respond by saying that she did love me.
A fool could dream, right?
Penny Atkins was my best friend, but I would gladly sell my soul to the Devil himself to be more than just friends. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment I fell for her; all I knew was that I couldn’t remember a time when I wasn’t head over heels in love with the pretty blonde I’d spent every waking minute with since we were both in diapers.
I’d pined for the girl practically my entire life, relishing the intimate—yet platonic—moments when I held her in my arms or we slept in the same bed. It was agony getting a taste of what would never truly be mine. Being the man in her life, knowing one day another would sweep in to take my place permanently.
But as much as it hurt to keep her close, the idea of losing her was paralyzing.
So when she said she didn’t remember drunkenly confessing that I was the man she wanted to be with on her twenty-first birthday, I’d kept my mouth shut rather than fill in the gap in her memory. Considering she vomited all over herself, me, and my car only moments later, it was more than likely that it had been that liquor talking, even though my heart wished her words had been true.
Penny: I miss you. Doesn’t feel like my birthday without you .
Late April meant rodeo season. Shit, more than half the damn year was rodeo season. And until my father decided to hand over the reins of overseeing the breeding ranch he’d built from the ground up to his only son, I was relegated to spending the spring, summer, and early fall months on the road, carting our bucking horses across Oklahoma and our northern neighbors, Kansas and Nebraska, for competition.
Unfortunately, that also meant I missed Penny’s birthday more often than not now that I was the team lead on the traveling crew.
I’ll beg the boss for some time off next year so I don’t miss your 30 th . Since we don’t know how many more good years you’ll have after that. *Sticking tongue out emoji*
Penny: Jerk. *Eye roll emoji*
Any big birthday plans?
Penny: Nothing crazy. Just dinner and cake at the house with my parents and your family, minus my favorite Sullivan.
If I knew my girl, she had her lower lip pushed out in a pout as she typed those words. My own lips curved into a smile, knowing the surprise I had in store for her today.
It’s my job, Penny.
Penny: Yeah, I know. I just hate that you’re gone so much.
Me too. Maybe I’ll see if I can squeeze in a few days at home before we head up to Kansas in mid-May.
Penny: I’m gonna hold you to that, cowboy.
Yes, ma’am. *Cowboy hat face emoji*
I’ll let you go to celebrate. Call me later?
Penny: Yeah, there’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about but don’t want to do it over text.
Hope filled my chest. What if she had meant what she’d said on this same day eight years ago? Could there really be even the tiniest chance that she returned my feelings? That we might have a real shot at being something more than “best friends?”
Fuck, I didn’t just want something more. I wanted everything with Penny.
Sucking in a deep breath, I blew it out slowly. I had to play this cool. There was no point in getting ahead of myself. Knowing my luck, she’d want my help in convincing our dads to let her add to her menagerie of random farm animals she treated as pets. At last count, she had three pigs, twelve chickens, two sheep, and a goat. It was only a matter of time before Sullivan Ranch became a damn petting zoo.
But she knew I couldn’t say no to her. I’d never been able to, and I wasn’t about to start now. Even if she said she wanted a turkey—those things freaked me the fuck out—I’d stand by her side and help make the sales pitch to Jett Sullivan and Wade Atkins.
Sounds good. Have the best day, Lucky, and I’ll talk to you tonight.
Shoving my phone into my pocket, I pushed through the door to the florist on Main Street in Rust Canyon. Penny had no clue I was in town; she thought I was off in Guymon, nearly four hours away in the panhandle.
I couldn’t wait to see her face when I surprised her by showing up at her birthday celebration.
There were a few cars parked outside the Atkins homestead situated on a plot of land on Sullivan Ranch. Wade was my father’s foreman and had been since the day Dad bought the property before my older sister was born, over thirty years ago now. The two of them had worked side by side, not only building the business together but their respective houses. The Atkinses might not have their name twisted in iron atop the front gate, but this ranch was as much theirs as it was ours.
Hopping down from my pickup with flowers in hand, I jogged up the front porch steps and let myself inside.
A flash of copper hair caught my eye a split second before my sister, Aspen, came into view. When she saw me, her blue eyes that matched mine widened, and her mouth dropped open before she clapped a hand over it, muffling her words.
“Oh my God. Tripp.”
If Aspen was this shocked to see me, I could only imagine Penny’s reaction .
My gaze dipped to her rounded stomach, and my heart swelled. “Snowcap, look at you.” My big sister was my second favorite person, only behind my best friend, so of course, I’d given them both special nicknames.
When I’d left for the rodeo circuit a month ago, she hadn’t even looked pregnant yet. But now she sported the cutest little melon-sized belly, where my niece was growing.
“Yeah,” Aspen breathed out as she dropped a hand to her baby bump, and a serene smile graced her face as she peeked down at it.
Her husband, Mac, rounded the corner into the front hallway, looped his arms around his wife’s waist to place his hands atop hers over their daughter, and declared, “She’s definitely popped. Makes me so hard I’m walking around lightheaded most days.”
I hid a laugh behind a cough as my sister swatted at his chest with a hissed, “Stop it.”
Mac remained completely unfazed. “What? It’s true.”
Aspen’s eyes widened. “You know you’re speaking to my brother, right? What’s next? You gonna go tell my dad how hot you are for his pregnant daughter?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. “Jett already knows what I’m going through, seeing as Daisy’s given him two babies. Tripp here hasn’t had the pleasure, so I figured I’d give him a heads-up on what to expect when that time comes.”
Tilting her face toward the ceiling, Aspen muttered, “Jesus Christ.”
“Oh, are we praying?” Mac bounced on the balls of his feet before bowing his head. “Dear Lord, please let our little jelly bean grow healthy and strong. Amen.”
There were days when my sister had unlimited patience with her husband’s quirky personality, but I had a feeling today was not one of them, so I elected to slip past them before she lost her shit. “I’m just gonna go see the birthday girl. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”
“Tripp, wait!” Aspen called out from behind me as I stepped into the family room.
My parents and Penny’s were standing with their backs to me, but my stomach did a little flip at the glimpse of blonde hair beyond them. That girl did funny things to my insides, and we’d never even done so much as kiss.
Clutching the flowers to my chest, I cleared my throat, announcing my presence. “Surp—” The word died on my tongue when not five but six pairs of eyes turned in my direction.
Who the fuck is this guy?
“Tripp, honey, what are you doing home?” My mama rushed forward, pulling me into a hug. Over her head, I locked eyes with my father, whose jaw ticked. He was a man of few words, but I’d lived almost twenty-nine years as the man’s son, and his facial expressions spoke volumes even when his voice didn’t. Right now, he was irritated. Most likely because I hadn’t cleared it with him to leave the horses behind with my second-in-command.
When my gaze swung to Penny, she looked like a deer caught in headlights, green eyes bigger than I’d ever seen them. Then there was the man standing beside her. I didn’t know him from Adam, but my gut told me he was my worst nightmare come to life.
I was vaguely aware of those talking around me, but I couldn’t hear a word they said with my pulse pounding in my ears because I’d zeroed in on the five fingers curled around Penny’s hip.
Why the fuck was she letting him touch her like that?
The hold was possessive, like he had any right to put his hands on what was mine .
Newsflash: she’s not yours because you never worked up the courage to make a move.
In the back of my mind, I’d always known this day was coming, but I thought I had more time.
A gentle touch on my elbow had me turning to find my sister’s sad eyes filled with unshed tears. That’s when the truth hit me like a punch to the gut.
I’d waited too long. And Penny had found someone else.
“Are those for me?” the sweetest voice in the history of the world asked.
My fist tightened around the bouquet. Anger, jealousy, and mostly frustration—aimed toward my own stubborn self—rose to the surface. But I forced myself to shove all those negative emotions deep down because today was my girl’s birthday, and I wasn’t going to ruin it for her. I couldn’t be upset with Penny for finding companionship, someone to share her life with, especially when she had no clue how I felt about her.
Thrusting the floral arrangement of fuchsia and peach gerbera daisies toward my best friend, I stepped close enough to drop a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Happy Birthday, Lucky.”
When I pulled back, I extended a hand to the man on her right. “Tripp Sullivan.”
Before he could offer his name while we shook, Penny introduced him. “Tripp, this is Jake Wallace. We were in the same veterinary medicine program.”
“Nice to meet you, Jake.” It took a Herculean effort to keep my tone calm, bordering on friendly, as would be expected of me.
“Actually, we’ve met once before.” Jake the Snake dared to join the conversation.
I arched an eyebrow. “That so? ”
He nodded. “A few years back, out at a rodeo over in Ada. One of your horses pulled a strain in their hind leg after a ride, and I happened to be the vet on site.”
Racking my brain, I tried to recall the encounter but came up blank. Honestly, most of the season blurred together, filled with late nights, long drives, and dingy motel rooms where you passed out before your head hit the questionably stained pillow.
Offering him a non-committal hum in response, I asked, “And what brings you to Rust Canyon?” I bit my tongue to keep from flat-out demanding to know why he’d dared to set foot on my family’s property.
“Tripp, why don’t we take a walk,” Penny suggested softly.
“Honey, you’re not going to leave in the middle of our celebration, are you?”
Jake’s words had my head snapping in his direction, my eyes narrowing. “Our?”
He grasped Penny’s left hand and brought it into view. There, on the fourth finger, rested a diamond ring, and my heart stopped beating.
Throat closing up, I barely managed to croak out a weak, “Congratulations.”
Pink tinted Penny’s cheeks, and she dropped her gaze to the ground as she murmured, “Thank you.”
Looping an arm around her waist, Jake pulled her into his side. “We’re bursting with excitement, aren’t we, sweetie?”
“W-when’s the big day?” Even though it was going to drive a dagger straight through my chest, I needed to know.
“Three weeks.”
I stumbled back in disbelief, bumping into someone who steadied me with hands to my biceps. In my ear, I heard Mac’s voice, “Breathe, man. ”
How was I expected to breathe when my world was crumbling around me?
Penny’s teeth descended on her lower lip as she watched my reaction. That was enough to snap me out of it.
Vision clearing, I forced a smile and bit out, “I’m happy for you.”
I only prayed she couldn’t see through the flat-out lie. The only way I could ever be happy about her getting married would be if the man waiting for her at the altar was me.
The back door slammed behind me as I charged into the kitchen of my parents’ house. I’d barely made it through the birthday-turned-engagement party without losing my shit, but the rage simmering beneath my skin was finally free to boil over.
My father raised his eyebrows at my dramatic entrance from where he stood, leaning against the kitchen counter. Whereas my mother simply sighed from her seat at the table, a steaming mug of what was likely tea resting in her hands.
“How long?” I demanded, pacing the room, my nostrils flaring with each ragged breath.
“Tripp.” My mama’s voice was soft, placating even, but I wasn’t in any mood to be “handled” after what had gone down this afternoon.
“How fucking long?” I screamed, slamming both hands onto the table. The sharp crack of my palms meeting the wood was deafening.
“Watch your mouth when you’re speaking to your mother.” There was a steel edge to Dad’s words of warning .
The red haze surrounding my vision cleared the tiniest fraction, and my voice weakened to practically a whimper when I begged for the answer to the same question. “How long?”
For God’s sake, I’d only been gone a month.
Unable to meet my eye, Mama hung her head. “Two weeks.”
“Two weeks,” I huffed out. “And three more until the wedding. What’s the rush?”
Because I wasn’t tortured enough, the only plausible explanation came to mind, and I hastened to the sink, gripped the edge, and willed myself not to get sick at the mere thought of Penny being pregnant with another man’s baby.
Then, an even more terrifying prospect rose to the surface.
Spinning around, I glared at my father. “Swear to God, if they’re moving onto this land, I’m moving off of it. I don’t care how far back you go with Wade. I won’t stick around and watch her play happy family with someone else.”
Jett Sullivan shook his head with a rough chuckle. “Where was this fire when it came to fighting to make the girl yours before someone else did?”
“Don’t,” I gritted out, jaw locking. I respected the hell out of my father, but I wouldn’t stand for him poking this particular bruise on my heart.
Crossing both arms over his chest, he granted me no mercy. “Don’t what, son? Don’t tell you that you had all the time in the world to make a move on the girl, yet you wasted it? Don’t tell you that anyone with eyes can see she’s always been in love with you too? Don’t tell you that no one can blame her for getting tired of waiting for you and moving on? Don’t tell you it’s your own damn fault that she did because you decided to sit on your hands your whole life?”
“Enough!” I roared. “I get it, okay?”
“Do you, though?” he challenged .
“Jett, let the boy be,” Mama chimed in, kindly asking my father to stand down.
“He’s not a boy anymore, Daze,” Dad argued. “He’s a grown man who has to face the repercussions of his actions—or the lack of them, in this case.”
“I know.” She stood, crossing the kitchen to lay a comforting hand on my arm. “But he’s suffering enough without you heaping on.”
Dad grunted but didn’t utter another word.
The sound of the front door being opened echoed through the house, and familiar voices floated closer until Aspen and Mac stepped into the room. My sister stopped short when she surveyed the scene laid out before her, which caused her husband to crash into her from behind. Mac let out a low curse as he reached out to keep her from tumbling belly-first to the ground.
Eyes growing glassy, my big sis whispered thickly, “I’m so sorry, Tripp.”
My gaze swept over my family. Every single one of them wore a look of pity aimed in my direction, and a vise tightened around my heart.
Everyone in town knew I’d been hung up on Penny my entire life. Everyone but the woman herself.
She was the only one who mattered, but I’d been too terrified to come clean about how I felt.
And now I never could.
Because she was marrying another man.