2. Penny
Chapter 2
Penny
Tripp’s tortured gaze when he learned of my engagement would be burned into my memory for all time.
Even though I wore another man’s ring on my finger, I pleaded with him with my eyes in that moment, practically begging for him to tell me not to do it. If he had, I would’ve broken it off in an instant. He knew that he was the only man I wanted. I’d told him that.
Yeah, and then pretended like you couldn’t remember anything you said the next morning.
That morning and my outright lie to Tripp had resulted in a cosmic shift. It might have kept our friendship intact and unchanged, but I became determined to rid myself of the ridiculous crush I had on my best friend.
When I went back to college for my senior year that fall, I lost my virginity to the first guy who hit on me at a party my roommate had dragged me to. There had been enough alcohol involved that I could pretend it was Tripp above me, grunting and groaning, whispering dirty words in my ear. But reality came crashing down hard when I woke up the next morning sober, realized what I’d done, and spent the next twenty-four hours bawling my eyes out.
After that, there were a few casual hookups with some of the summer seasonal workers on the ranch and a few more during my time obtaining my degree in veterinary medicine—never anyone that called Rust Canyon home. While it always felt good, my heart wasn’t in it, and I never formed an attachment to any man I was with.
They all lacked one thing: they weren’t Tripp.
I wanted to scream my frustration out loud in the room full of people gathered for my birthday, but instead, I plastered on a smile and acted the part of the excited-to-be-newly-engaged woman everyone expected of me.
Engaged. I was getting married.
To Jake. Not Tripp.
Today had gone completely off the rails. I never expected Jake to drop to one knee in the middle of my birthday party, let alone have Tripp walk in thirty minutes later when he’d led me to believe he was working hours away with the rodeo team.
But if I was blindsided, I could only imagine what Tripp was going through. I had planned to tell him about Jake when we talked on the phone later that night, but at that point, he’d only been my boyfriend. So Tripp had come home to surprise me, only to get the shock of a lifetime.
God, he probably felt so betrayed. We never kept secrets from each other.
Well, other than the one about me being in love with him my whole life. Not that he had any room to talk, because if the rumblings around town were to be believed— Rust Canyon gossip was usually spot on—he felt the same way.
What a pair we made, putting our friendship above the chance at true love .
Jake had been one of the men I’d been with during my vet training. He was nice, and we had a good time together, so we made it a regular thing for a few months. When he asked for more than casual sex between friends, I decided to end it.
Despite my vow to move on from Tripp, it was easier said than done. No matter how hard I tried, my heart wouldn’t let him go, so it wasn’t available to give to another man.
But then Jake and I ran into each other over at the Winfield Ranch a few weeks back, when their cattle herd was due for vaccinations. I was in my feels over Tripp heading out on the rodeo circuit and not getting to see him again for months at a time, so when Jake asked me to grab a bite after we finished, I agreed.
During that dinner, it hit me that I was nearly thirty, and if I wasn’t careful, I’d blink and be turning forty, then fifty, and so on, and still be single and pining for my best friend. If I didn’t want to end up alone, I needed to be open to other relationships.
So I decided to give Jake a chance—a real one this time.
Since we already knew each other fairly well, our relationship escalated quickly—as evidenced by the proposal after only a few weeks of dating. And when he suggested a short engagement, I agreed to that as well. Because in the back of my mind, I knew if we didn’t rush through this process and I was allowed more time to think it through, there was a good possibility that I would back out.
I managed to smile through cake and toasts in my—and Jake’s—honor, but by the time our guests left, I was emotionally drained. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed and eat my body weight in ice cream while I hyped myself up to marry a man I liked but didn’t love.
Jake looped an arm around my waist when I went to grab his coat, his lips directly beside my ear. “Why don’t you come home with me tonight, and we can celebrate in private? The new furniture got delivered yesterday, so the bedroom has more than just a mattress on the floor.”
Our sex life wasn’t the stuff of romance novels, but it was enjoyable enough. Orgasms were achieved by both parties, but it’s not like I craved him. There was never a moment in the day when I had the urge to tear his clothes off because the need to feel him inside me was so intense that it couldn’t be ignored.
Tonight, I most certainly wasn’t in the mood to “celebrate” in a physical way. Especially not when the familiar rumble of Tripp’s truck caught my ear, and I peeked through the window to see it streaking across the gravel path so fast it kicked up a cloud of dust.
He needed an explanation from me more than Jake needed to get laid.
“Today took a lot out of me. I think I’m gonna stick around here and help my mama clean up, if that’s all right?”
Disappointment flashed in Jake’s brown eyes, but he covered it quickly as he nodded in understanding. “Of course. Talk to you in the morning? We have a lot of planning to do.”
Right. Because our wedding was set to take place three weeks from today.
“Yeah, I’ll grab coffee for us and swing over once I’ve made my rounds on the ranch.”
“Or . . .” he dragged the word out slowly. “ I could bring the coffee and help with your rounds.”
How did you politely tell the man you were going to marry that you needed a fucking minute of peace to wrap your mind around the events of the past twenty-four hours before you had a panic attack?
Placing my hands on his chest, I rose on my toes and pressed my lips to his. “If you do that, I won’t be able to scope out this new bedroom set you mentioned. ”
Jake hummed, a corner of his mouth hitching up. “Good point. Tomorrow at my place it is.”
He dragged me closer until our bodies were pressed flush. Then he slid one hand into my hair, angling my head to where he wanted it as he kissed me deeply. His tongue swept inside my mouth, and I played along the best I could, but my heart wasn’t in it—not that it ever really was.
I was punching my ticket straight to Hell because, while kissing my fiancé, my mind was firmly on the man in the black truck who owned that aching organ inside my chest.
We broke apart, and I pulled my cardigan tighter to my chest when the cool spring air rushed in from the open door. Standing on the front porch, I watched Jake drive away. The minute he was out of sight, I took off running in the direction Tripp had disappeared.
Even though this property was massive, I knew exactly where he’d be.
As expected, I found Tripp sitting with his legs hanging over the tailgate of his truck, parked beside the tree where our dads had hung a tire swing for us when we were kids.
This was our favorite spot on the ranch. Growing up, whenever we had a bad day, this was where we’d come. Tripp would push me on the swing, and one or both of us would talk until we ran out of words about whatever was bothering us. Then we’d brainstorm a solution together.
In those days, it had been me and Tripp against the world. And some foolish part of me believed that might always be the case .
Tripp was hunched over, elbows resting on his knees, head hung with his eyes closed when I approached the back of his pickup.
“Mind if I join you?”
At my softly spoken words, his head whipped up. Swallowing hard enough to have his Adam’s apple bobbing, he nodded, offering a gruff, “Sure.”
Like the gentleman he was, he hopped down to give me a boost. Once I was settled, he climbed back up, but it didn’t go unnoticed that he’d made sure to leave a good foot of space between us.
That wasn’t going to work for me.
“Oh, I know you’re not going to leave me hanging over here out in the cold,” I teased, trying to keep my tone light.
Heaving out a heavy sigh, Tripp swiveled his head in my direction. The devastation written across his handsome face tugged at my heartstrings.
“Pen, I—”
“Nuh-uh,” I cut him off. “You know the rules. This birthday girl wants a hug and a cuddle to keep her warm.”
Tripp’s blue eyes softened, and he nodded, opening his arms. I didn’t waste a single second in sliding across the tailgate and curling my arms around his waist as I dropped my head onto his shoulder and lifted my legs over his lap. Though he’d been initially reluctant to agree to this embrace, he tightened his grip, holding me close as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
For the first time in hours, I was able to take a deep breath, and the tension seeped out of my muscles.
“Whatcha doin’ out here?” I asked, keeping my eyes fixed on the sun setting over the horizon.
“Thinkin’,” he murmured .
“’Bout what?”
His chest expanded. “Everything’s going to change.”
Lifting my head, I gazed up at him. “It doesn’t have to.”
Sad eyes peered back at me. “Yes, it does. Bex got it right when she said that getting married meant passing the mantle of number one confidante to your partner.”
Bex Grant had made a particularly moving maid of honor speech at Tripp’s sister’s wedding a few years back, declaring that while she would always remain Aspen’s best friend, the bond Aspen shared with Mac would take priority as they built a life together.
“I’m happy for you. Truly, I am. You deserve the world, Penny.” Tripp’s words came out thick, causing my soul to fracture.
Dropping my eyes to the ground, I whispered hoarsely, “I should have told you sooner. I didn’t know . . .”
His fingers squeezed my hip. “You couldn’t have known I was going to show up unannounced.”
Hugging him tighter, I confessed, “It was the best birthday surprise ever.”
I wasn’t lying. Him walking into my parents’ house this afternoon had caused my heart to beat faster than when Jake had gotten down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.
Honestly, if Tripp had arrived an hour sooner and borne witness to the proposal, I probably wouldn’t have said yes.
Tripp’s chuckle vibrated through his chest. “Thought you were gonna call me up tonight and beg for a new pet.”
That perked me right up. “Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”
He gave me a stern look. “Oh no. Don’t you be gettin’ ideas inside that pretty little head of yours.”
Batting my eyelashes at him, I clasped my hands together in front of my chest. “Please. ”
A deep rumble sounded before he grudgingly admitted, “A turkey.”
“Oh!” I exclaimed, eyes widening at the prospect, immediately beginning to wonder if turkeys got along with chickens.
“If it’s all the same, I’d really rather you didn’t, though.” Tripp shifted uneasily.
Giggles worked their way up my throat before bursting free. Collapsing against his solid form, I sucked in gasping breaths between fits of laughter.
“That’s right. Big, strong Tripp Sullivan is afraid of an oversized bird.”
“Not scared,” he groused. “Just think the nasty buggers are better off headless and roasted on the Thanksgiving dinner table.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face over his irrational fear of turkeys. “I’ll grant you mercy this time. No live turkeys on the ranch.”
His body went rigid beside me. “Should we be expecting any other kind of large fowl to be making an appearance later this year? Perhaps one carrying a bundle in its beak?”
Brows drawing down, I cocked my head. “What?”
Tripp shook his head. “Never mind. Not really my business, anyway.”
Normally, I’d pester him until he spilled whatever was weighing on him, but I could sense the shift in our dynamic. He was pulling away, putting up walls, and I hated it.
“Wanna go for a ride tomorrow morning?”
“Can’t. Already took enough flak from Dad about leaving the team, so I’ve gotta head back to Guymon first thing.”
“Oh.” It was impossible to keep the dejected tone from my voice. “When do you think you’ll be back?”
“Don’t really know.” He lifted his hat to run fingers through his dark hair. “June or July, whenever Aspen has the baby. ”
My heart sank. By June or July, I’d be married, legally tied to another man. And my best friend just told me in a roundabout way that he wasn’t coming to my wedding.
Blinking back the tears that threatened to break free, I nodded. “Makes sense.”
“I’ve got an early day tomorrow, so I think I’m gonna call it a night. I can drive you back on my way.”
Pulling away from his warmth, I tried to hide the shiver that rolled through me by hopping off the back of the truck. Averting my gaze—knowing I’d start sobbing if I so much as looked at him—I jerked my head in the direction of the house I grew up in. “That’s okay. I can walk.”
I turned on my heel and began to march away, not turning back even when he called out behind me nor when his truck rolled behind me at a safe distance, the headlights illuminating the path in the darkness as he followed me home.
With a weak wave over my shoulder, I slipped inside and barely managed to latch my bedroom door before I collapsed against it and finally let myself cry over the dream I’d given up when I allowed another man to slip his ring on my finger.