17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Dallas
W aking up to Blaire’s screams from my guest bedroom had me hauling ass across the hall to get to her. I wasn’t prepared to find her fighting something in her sleep, tossing and turning, while her voice turned hoarse from her cries. Comforting her was the only thing I could do; I can’t fight something that isn’t in front of us. Her warm body is tucked into me, and I let my hand roam her soft skin to soothe her. She fits so perfectly in my arms, and I want nothing more than to hold her and give her peace.
I’ve never wanted this before; to comfort someone so affectionately and intimately. Fuck, even kissing. That’s always been a hard line for me. Kissing leads to feelings and I haven’t found anyone that I’ve ever wanted to chance it with. But kissing Blaire is a need. I struggle the rest of the night between what could be terrorizing her sleep and the aftermath of the last few days together. Can I really just go back to normal after this? Can I walk away from this woman and not have her again?
I hold Blaire until the morning when she starts to wake. She’s still on her side, her thigh thrown over my hip, her head nuzzled into my chest. I never knew it could feel so good to have someone wake up in my arms like this. Her sleepy eyes flutter open, giving me my first glimpse of the stormy blue hue.
“Good morning.”
“Hi. What time is it?” she asks, her voice groggy from sleep.
“Doesn’t really matter when we’re snowed in, does it?”
“Your nickname really is perfect, you do know that right?”
I swat at her ass and she giggles, moving away from me. She stands from the bed, and I’m surprised at the feeling of disappointment that washes over me. I want to pull her back in here with me, keep her wrapped up in my arms the rest of the day.
“Meet you in the kitchen?” she says sheepishly. Her posture is all wrong and it immediately makes me nervous. Her arms are folded across her chest, her shoulders slumped forward. I’m hoping that it’s just that she wants me out so she can do her business in private, which is stupid since I’ve been inside her in every way imaginable. I get up and kiss her forehead.
“I’ll make some coffee. Take your time.”
I leave her to do her thing, stopping by my room to pull on sweats and grab my phone from its charger. While coffee brews, I pull up my texts and get caught up on the missed messages. I scroll through two days’ worth of texts in my sibling group chat and pause to read the last few.
Liam:
I’m over this shit
Carter:
You’re over it? I’m stuck here with you. I’m over it.
Liam:
You’re such a whine ass
Kins:
It’s not terrible. But I’m at Mom and Dad’s. It’s been a good break.
Carter:
Whatever Kins. Singing the ABC song got you that tired?
Kins:
Hey! I can only handle one dickhead brother and that spot has been claimed! Cut the shit!
Sawyer:
Will you all shut the fuck up? It’s a snowstorm, it’ll pass. We’ve been through it before
Kins:
Yeah, but it’s over Christmas! We didn’t get to be together!
Carter:
Says the CEO who’s holed up in his big house with his wife
Liam:
Kinda a low blow man. We’re stuck here keeping everything running and making sure pipes don’t freeze and we don’t lose power.
Sawyer:
There was no fuckin way I was leaving Ivy home alone while pregnant, kiss my ass
Same shit different day, apparently. I shoot off a quick text so they don’t send out search and rescue because of my silence.
Me:
Jumping in here to give proof of life. Otherwise, I’m checking out. Talk to all you fuckers later.
Next, I check the ones from my mom. She’s the sweetest woman and has a heart of gold. You’d have to, to successfully raise five humans. Out of all the relationships, she and I are the closest. I leaned on her a lot growing up, and when I was nineteen, things went to total shit when Sawyer’s long-term girlfriend, who happens to be Ivy, took off without saying goodbye. He slipped into depression, rarely getting out of bed. Our dad still worked long hours at the distillery and our brothers were still a bit young. I stepped up and took care of things to make life easier on her.
Mom:
You doing okay over there by yourself my boy?
Me:
Hey momma, sorry for the late reply.
I hesitate for a moment, thinking it through, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.
Me:
I’m actually here with someone
She responds right away.
Mom:
Blaire?
Me:
How’d you know?
Mom:
Beautiful girl. I had my suspicions that something was going on.
Me:
I could never fool you. I’m really into her but she’s got these walls up, she’ll only let me in so far
I laugh at that. Blaire’s got no qualms with letting me in deep in every other way, but emotionally? She’s only giving me so much.
Mom:
Just takes time. You really like her?
Me:
Yeah. I think I do.
Mom:
Well be sure and then just take it at her pace
Me:
Thanks Mom. You two doing okay? Kins driving you all nuts yet?
Mom:
We’re good, no complaints. You know we love winter.
Mom:
I’ll check in soon. Love you
Closing out of the chat, I bring up the local news and my heart stops.
The roads are clear.
Our little bubble is about to burst. I contemplate keeping it from her, playing stupid just to prolong our time together. I turn my phone on silent and toss it down on the bar top just as Blaire walks into the room. Her hair is wet and falls around her face in a wavy mess. I hate that I didn’t have anything to make her more comfortable here, even if she hasn’t complained.
Coffees poured, I hand a mug to Blaire and settle in on the leather couch next to her, in front of the fireplace. I take my first sip, relishing the slow, smooth taste as the caffeine goes down, needing the boost to help me through this conversation. The storm has trapped us here together for a while, but that’s not to say she won’t spook and lock herself in the guest bedroom or bolt the moment she learns the roads are cleared and she can go home.
I focus my attention on Blaire sitting next to me, looking nothing like she did when we were at Kinsey’s birthday party a few days ago. She’s wearing nothing but one of my large T-shirts, and I know she’s completely naked underneath. Her hair is unbrushed, and her face has been bare of makeup since our first night here. It’s such a stark contrast to when we arrived here together. I hated having her in my space, and now the thought of her leaving creates a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
The sight of her tear-stricken face, blotchy cheeks, red-rimmed, puffy eyes, and the sound of her screams has me wanting nothing more than to pull her hard into my chest to wrap her in comfort.
I set my mug down on the coaster and pull her legs into my lap, holding one of her feet in my hands, massaging it. She watches me intently, her mouth slightly agape as she relaxes into the couch, humming softly as my thumb rubs little circles up the center of her foot. I can’t help but let the fixer in me lead this, it feels too good to love on this woman when she lets me.
“Are you okay?” I break the silence and ask her.
She stiffens. “I’m fine.”
“Let me help you. Whatever it is.” Either she’s going to tell me on her own, or I’m going to contact our old friend, Wes, the PI, breaching all of her trust. But fuck if I’m going to sit back and let whatever play out when there’s a chance I can get ahead of it. Not after what happened to Ivy. Not after we were almost too late. Nightmares happen, but not like that. She’s battling something dark. She pulls her feet from my lap and curls into herself. Fuck, I’m losing her.
“Baby girl, that wasn’t just any old nightmare. That was something much darker. Talk to me.”
“I’m not your baby girl, Dallas. I said I was fine. Drop it,” she snaps.
Fuck this shit. She’s gotta make everything so damn difficult.
“No, I’m not going to drop it. I wake up to you screaming, tossing around in bed, and crying and you tell me you’re fine? Fuck that. That is not fine. Why won’t you talk to me? Let me help you,” I bite out louder than I meant to.
“No! You don’t get to have access to all of me. Absolutely not. You don’t get to order me around like you do when we fuck. I let you do that. That’s all this is, fucking! I don’t have to tell you shit and you don’t get to demand it from me. Fuck you!”
She gets up and stomps to the guest bedroom, slamming the door behind her. How did this go so badly? She’s hiding something and I’m going to figure out what it is.
I follow her to the bedroom and gently rap my knuckles on the door before opening it.
“Thought you should know the roads are clear. I’m in no rush for you to leave, but when you’re ready to?—”
“I’m ready.”
She gets up and pulls on the dress she was wearing when we got here, minus the panties, which are hidden away in my end table drawer. Not willing to fight with her over this, I let her win this one, as much as it’s hurting me to not fix it for her. Or to at least help her fix it.
“Okay. Let me pull some clothes on and I’ll take you home.”
By the time I’m ready to go, she’s bundled in her winter coat and waiting at the door.
“It ends here, remember.”
I look at her and can’t hide my disappointment. I grab her face between my hands and kiss her like I’ve never kissed her before. It’s firm but slow, my mouth gently coaxing hers to open, my tongue languidly meeting hers in the middle. She melts in my arms, and I moan into her mouth. I kiss her passionately, putting everything into it, doing my best to show her that I don’t want this to be just sex. But because she’s a goddamn stubborn brat, as I break away from her, I pull her bottom lip back between my teeth, dragging it out until she pops free from me, reminding her that I can be everything she needs.
She blinks rapidly before composing herself, not saying a word, but I know she’s lust-drunk and confused. We walk into the garage, and I open the door, revealing a freshly plowed driveway. I’m thankful to Liam for being out at the ass crack of dawn and handling it all for us.
The drive is slow, and the roads are still pretty bad, but drivable. She’s quiet, wrapped around herself and looking out the window.
“Where am I headed?”
“Hmm?”
“You still haven’t told me where you live.”
“Oh. Uhm. You can drop me off at Bean Haven.”
“Like fuck I will. Where do you live, Blaire?”
She huffs and drags her hands down her face. What the fuck is she keeping locked up so tight?
“Actually, shit, I need to get my car. Just take me to the distillery.”
“Do you hear me right now? No. I’m taking care of getting your car back to you. Now tell me where you live.”
“Why are you so fucking pushy, Dallas? Boundaries. Learn to respect them. I told you to stop ordering me around. You’re not my Dom. We’re done fucking, so that ship has sailed. Drop me off at the distillery so I can pick up my car or I’ll get out here and walk.”
Her words sting and I don’t bother hiding my wince and disappointment.
“Fine, princess. You win. Again. But I’m only going to follow you home so I know you got there okay. The roads are still shit.”
Her eyes go wide for a split second, and if I hadn’t glanced at her in that moment, I would have missed it.
What the fuck is she hiding?