33. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Three
Dallas
“ S he’s coming home with me tomorrow for at least two weeks. She’ll stay in your old room on the bottom floor. She’ll be comfortable and I’ll take good care of her while she heals.”
“Like hell she is, Mom. I love you, you’re an angel, but she is coming home with me where she belongs. I need to take care of her. I want to take care of her. This is my fault. Mine. I can’t be away from her. I have to fix this, and she needs to know that I’m here for her.”
“I love you, my boy, but this isn’t about you. Sometimes you and your brothers are blinded by what you think is the right thing to do, which you get from your father. But you need to know when to let things fix themselves, rather than force it.”
“Mom, I don’t know how to do anything else. I love her too much.”
“And I told you I will take good care of her. What I didn’t do was tell you what you’re doing.” She gives me a wink and a pat on my shoulder before returning to the waiting room.
I walk back into Blaire’s hospital room to find her sleeping again. Today was hard on her. They removed her catheter, and she was forced to get up and start walking for the first time since her accident. She bit her lip through every wince I knew was hovering right at the surface. But she pushed through and is healing more and more each day.
Blaire sleeps. And it’s torture. Seeing her bruised and battered body causes me a selfish pain that I can’t put into words. Guilt. It eats me alive every moment, but I welcome it. This is my fucking fault. I put her here. If I had never asked Wes to pull her background and dig up everything he could on her, we wouldn’t be here right now. She wouldn’t have to feel pain, she wouldn’t have had to fight for her life. She is such a warrior though. Her entire life she’s been surviving, and I’m so proud of her. I hate that I promised I would keep her safe from future pain only to be the one who caused so much of it.
I go back and forth between watching her sleep in a heavy slumber and watching her heart rate on the monitor. The bruises on her face have turned from black to a deep purple, but I know her physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional pain she’s been through in her life. She’s going to heal because she’s strong as fuck. I haven’t left her once. Haven’t showered and have lived off whatever food and coffee my family brings me. There’s no way in hell I would be anywhere else. She’s all that matters.
I pull the blankets up to her chest and lay a kiss gently on her forehead before taking my spot in the chair next to her. She won’t talk to me. The only acknowledgment I get from her is the deep sigh when I touch her. I know I calm her, steady her. I can see it in the way her shoulders relax when I’m near her, the way her eyes flutter closed when I kiss her forehead, the way her breathing settles when I grasp her hand. If she wants to sit in silence for the rest of our lives, and all I do is calm her nervous system, then so fucking be it. I will give this woman anything she needs. Even if it kills me.
There’s a knock at the door and I stand back up to pull it open. Reid stands on the outside, looking calm if it weren’t for his tell; his hands opening and closing into fists at his side.
“Hey, man, how is she?”
“Sleeping. They finally got her up and moving today and it wore her out. She’s such a fighter though.”
“That she is.”
“Reid?” Blaire asks from behind me, her voice heavy and hoarse from sleep.
I open the door more and step out of the way, welcoming Reid into the room. I don’t miss how her face lights up when he comes up next to her, and I try to stomp down the jealous rage that starts to consume me. Reid’s a great friend to both of us, and I temper my rash feelings, even if I’d kill for her to look at me like that again. I take a seat in the chair on the far side of the room to give them privacy without actually leaving and pull out my phone to check in with my siblings.
Me:
How is everyone?
Kins:
That’s a stupid question, we’re fine. How are you? How is Blaire?
Liam:
You guys need anything? We’ve been keeping Mom stocked with coffee but there were too many of us so they kicked us out and told us to only come one at a time
Me:
I’m not in a good place
Sawyer:
I’m in the waiting room. Reid’s got her. Come take a break.
Sighing, I stand, knowing my brother will come in here and drag me out if I don’t go out there willingly. Before leaving, I interrupt Blaire and Reid’s talk.
“I’ll give you two a few. I’ll be right back, baby. I love you,” I say loud enough for Reid to hear before kissing her forehead. I leave my woman in her hospital bed, with the large beast of a tattooed man protecting her. Because I know he will with his life. Whether he believes it or not.
I walk through the hospital until I find the exit. Having not left the building, it takes me a minute to navigate my way outside. Thanks to the overcast skies, the light from outside isn’t as harsh on my eyes. I pull down the sleeves of my hoodie as the cold air hits me. Sawyer stands leaning against one of the large stone pillars holding up the awning, waiting for me.
“Surprised your wife isn’t with you, you’re usually not far from her. Can’t believe you have time for me.”
He turns to face me, the air crackling with tension, his demeanor changing before my eyes. His posture is rigid, and I can see the frustration flashing across his face. He squares his shoulders before talking, his voice thick with irritation.
“You need your ass beat or you want to talk it through? I got all day while Ivy works at Barrel House and I’m happy to do either.”
“I’m not leaving Blaire here alone, so you can go fuck yourself if you think I’m going to Dom’s.”
“I would do anything for you, dumbass, and you fuckin’ know it. So, say what you gotta say, hit me if you need something to hit, but don’t you dare act like I don’t have your back. You may not have seen me, but I’ve been here every goddamn day in case you needed me. Just like you were there for me when Ivy left.”
My shoulders slump inward, realization weighing on my already heavy conscience. I run my hand over my facial hair, which has grown out longer than I like to keep it. Sawyer walks up to me and pulls me into a hug.
“Shit, I know that, I’m just at a loss here,” I say, taking a step back. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel fucking broken.”
“Been there, brother. That’s why you’ve got us. So, you love her, huh?”
“More than anything.”
“This whole time?”
“From the moment I saw her sitting in your office. I tried to convince myself it was just sexual attraction, that fucking her would get it out of my system, but that just set it in stone. Once I had her . . .”
“She was yours. Whether she felt the same or not.”
“Yeah.”
“I get it. You know I couldn’t move on after Ivy left. She was endgame. Seems like Blaire’s yours.”
“She is. I just have to fix my fuckups and hope she’ll forgive me.”
If she doesn’t, I don’t know how I’ll ever recover from that loss.
“Well, speaking of, we gotta talk. You may not remember the details ’cause you weren’t holding it together, but I got some info on Blaire’s accident.”
The hair on the back of my neck stands up as I try to rack my brain for what he could be talking about.
“What do you mean?”
“It wasn’t an accident.”
“The fuck did you just say?”
“It was a hit-and-run. The police came back to ask some questions, but Officer Hawkins stayed back to talk to me in private. He doesn’t think it was an accident but wouldn’t give me more details, just asked if I knew of anything that might help him out. But I had Wes pull the police report. The tire marks on the road were only from one vehicle. Blaire’s. The other car hit her and didn’t even try to pass her or break. They side-swiped her, caused her to fishtail and spin out at a high speed, then bolted.”
“Holy fuck.”
Nausea churns in my stomach.
“Do you know anyone who would want to hurt her?”
“Fuck!” I yell, pulling the short strands of my hair as I pace, trying to think of anyone who would want to hurt my girl. Only one evil motherfucker comes to mind. The one who still haunts her like a fucking disease she can’t shake.
“Look, Blaire isn’t who she told us she was when we hired her. I mean, she’s Blaire Hollis, but her background isn’t a happy one, and she was trying to protect herself from sharing the details. She’s trying to start a new life. This goes to your grave, Sawyer.”
“Doesn’t need to be said, brother, get to your damn point.”
“A few weeks ago, she told me that she thought she saw her abuser at the distillery. He is or maybe was serving a sentence at Washington Pen. I offered to do an inmate search with her to make sure he was still behind bars, but she was insistent she do it on her own. I don’t fucking know.”
“And you just let it go? What the fuck, Dallas?”
“You don’t know Blaire like I do. If I fucking push, she flees. I don’t even have his goddamn name.”
The fucking file. His name is the goddamn file Wes pulled for me.
“Fucking get it. In the meantime, I’m going to get a plan together.”
“We’re going to stay at Mom and Dad’s. Over my dead body will something happen to her again.”
“Get me a goddamn name, Dallas.”
How the fuck do I do that without scaring her or breaching her damn privacy again?