Chapter 24
I’m not embarrassed.I’m a confident, self-assured woman comfortable in her own skin. Everyone masturbates. I have nothing to fear.
The statements have played on an endless loop in my head for the past hour. I believe them. I swear, I do. So why won’t this crippling anxiety go away? If anything, it’s only gotten worse because the later it gets, the less time I have until Renzo returns.
He’s coming, and he knows what I did and why. The part that has my stomach in knots is wondering what he’s going to do about it. I saw that look in his eyes. Something in him snapped, and the waiting is killing me. Solitaire isn’t even an effective distraction anymore, which means I’m sitting at the table, staring vacantly at the fire when the door bursts open.
My eyes snap to his.
Renzo’s broad frame fills the doorway for three elongated heartbeats before he steps inside and slams his hand down on the table in front of me. And when it retreats, a small silver fish remains.
I can hardly believe my eyes. I stare dumbfounded at the silver-scaled creature the entire time Renzo washes his hands in the water bucket.
He did it. The bastard caught a damn fish.
My mouth hangs open like the fish’s—we’re equally shocked.
“You … you can’t…”
“I can’t what, Shae?” He returns to my side, his thick fingers wrapping around my neck and coaxing me to my feet. “Tell me what I can’t.” His lips are so close to mine. I can’t breathe. I can’t think.
“You can’t … be serious. That was a joke.”
His lips quirk upward in the corners with more vicious delight than I would have thought him capable of. “You knew exactly what you were signing up for. A bet is a bet—there’s no backing out.”
“But … but I’m all sweaty, and I haven’t shaved in ages. You seriously don’t want to go there.” I could fight him off if I needed to, but that’s not the problem. What worries me is how intensely I want to feel his body touching mine in the most intimate, primal way possible. If I let this happen, I’m not sure I’ll be the same after. I know I won’t. I won’t be Shae anymore.
I’ll be his.
“Oh, I’m going there. And if I need to, I’ll lick you clean myself.” He takes the hem of my shirt and sweeps it up and over my head so that I’m left standing in my bra and jeans. Then he’s in my space again, his hands threading into my hair as he brings his cheek to mine. “What’s the matter, Chaos? Scared you’ll like it?” He bites my earlobe with the perfect amount of pain and pleasure before kissing his way down my neck.
The way he touches me lights every nerve ending on fire. His body somehow speaks to mine on a molecular level, and I’m powerless against it.
“Just this once,” I breathe, my head tipping back. “Because I’m a woman of my word.” I don’t even know what I’m saying because I’m so lost in sensation.
His hands unclasp my jeans. I breathe in shallow, shaky breaths as he walks me backward to the bed, then yanks my pants down to my ankles. His hand flattens on my belly to lay me back on the bed before he pulls my jeans the rest of the way off.
It all happens so fast that my head is spinning. I’m not used to a partner taking control. I’m usually the one in the lead, but Renzo is a man possessed. He’s done playing, and he’s certainly not asking for permission.
That doesn’t mean I have to let him.
I wonder if taking control is what I need to neutralize the situation. To keep from being swept away.
Yes, that’s it. And besides, if he’s going to wreck me, he should have to work for it.
I get up quickly, spinning us so that his back is to the bed. I make him sit, then climb on his lap, my legs straddling his. His cock is so impossibly hard, it feels incredible pressed against my core. My pelvis grinds with the need for more. I move in to press my lips to his when his head twists to the side just enough to prevent me from achieving my goal.
Dark amusement deepens the azure of his eyes. “Nice try, but that’s not how this is going to happen.” He grips my wrists in one of his hands while the other keeps my body connected with his while he stands long enough to spin me around and place me on my back again. This time, his body follows mine and holds me in place. “This is my prize, and I’ll take my winnings on my terms.”
His natural dominance has the alpha female in me purring so loudly I can’t hear myself think.
“Just remember the deal—you can touch me, not fuck me. You’re not getting me knocked up out here.” I glare at him, and I’d swear something primal and untamed stares back at me.
“We wouldn’t want that, would we?” I find the eerie dissonance to his words unsettling yet captivating. I’ve never been the focus of such intense desire.
He holds my hands above my head, resting his body to the side with his back against the wall. He uses his free hand to part my thighs. I wonder if he’s going right for the main attraction—so many men do—but he surprises me when his hand slowly glides up my body, feeling, testing, learning. When he reaches my bra, he hooks his finger in the middle, his eyes connecting with mine as he achingly slowly tugs it low enough for my breasts to pop free.
I’d been anticipating this moment to the point of obsession, and now that it’s here, it’s even better than I imagined. Renzo’s chest expands on a shocked inhale.
“Oh, Chaos, baby. You’ve been keeping secrets.” Each gravelly word scrapes across my skin with exquisite pleasure.
At this rate, he won’t even have to touch me to make me come. I’m so damn turned on I could light the night sky.
Renzo leans forward and runs his tongue around one of my pierced nipples, then sucks it into his mouth and releases me with a pop. I practically levitate off the bed.
My padded bra prevented him from being able to tell I was pierced. I thought he’d appreciate the discovery, but I was wrong. Judging from the way he rises to straddle my body and lavish each taut peak with adoration, he’s well past appreciation.
His hands snake beneath my back and unclasp my bra, then tosses it over his shoulder. His stare devours me. I love the way it feels but still have to fight back insecurities about my current appearance. I’ve never in my life let another person see me so natural. Even if I’m not dating anyone, I don’t let myself get this overgrown.
I hate that this is how he’s seeing me for the first time, though I don’t detect any repugnance coming from Renzo in the slightest. Quite the opposite. He’s acting as though I’m the tastiest dessert he’s had in years.
And when he moves down my body and lowers my panties down below my hips, Renzo proves my impending mortification is unnecessary when he runs the bridge of his nose along my slit and moans his approval with a guttural sound that brings a flush to my skin. It’s the most primitively masculine sound I’ve ever heard. And the most possessive.
My thighs part as if on command.
“Fuck, you’re so responsive.” He spreads my labia and lavishes a slow swipe of his tongue against my clit. “You were made for fucking.”
“Jesus, Ren. I need more. You want to prove you can make me come, then do it. Show me what you’ve got.”
He’s already got me halfway there, but I’m not telling him that. I’m so desperate for the finish line that goading him into proving himself is more to my advantage.
“You can’t help but try to top from the bottom, can you?” He gives my inner thigh a warning nip. “I may let you take the reins when it comes to daily life around here, but when your body is naked beneath mine, you will do as I say.”
“I told you, only this once.” I don’t miss his implication that this interlude is only the beginning.
“I won’t even dignify that with a response.” His tongue swirls around my clit as he buries a finger deep inside me. I grind against him, moaning with delight.
Renzo brings me to orgasm like his life depends upon it. No teasing or dallying. He works my body as well as I do, giving me a release that has me screaming in pleasure.
“Now that I’ve proven not every man is a worthless prick, it’s time to play.”
“Wait, Renzo. That’s two already for me today. I can’t do more.”
I’m flipped onto my belly, and his hand slaps my backside faster than I can comprehend what’s happened. “What did I say about giving orders?”
“That’s not an order!”
Smack.
Fuuuuck, there’s something about a man who can give a good spanking. It’s not about the pain. It’s about the confidence. The control.
My spine arches, pressing my ass farther into the air.
“Jesus, you’re perfect.” His hand caresses the sting on my cheek before he lifts my hips in the air. I’m on my knees, but he presses a hand on my upper back to keep my chest down against the bed.
“Keep your hands over your head.” That wolfish bite is back in his voice. His need has taken over again.
He starts to lick my center again, lazy strokes that reignite that spark of desire. When my body starts to undulate into his touch, he pulls away. I hear him spit, then feel warmth drip onto the pucker of my backside. My breathing hitches. I’m no stranger to anal play, but I consider lube to be a must. That sort of thing has to be done right, or it can hurt like a bitch.
He sees me tense. “Easy, girl. I’m not going to do anything you won’t love.” He caresses my ass cheek. While his tongue returns to working my clit, his finger gently tests the puckered ring of muscle. I try to relax and open for him, making him moan. The sound drives me wild with need.
When his hand reaches forward to toy with my piercing, the storm inside me ramps up with a frenzy. He uses the opportunity to ease his thumb inside my ass. Just the tip. He teases and caresses the entrance in a way that feels deliciously naughty, more so than full-on penetration. Like he’s secretly doing something he”s not supposed to do. The taboo nature of his teasing touch is more arousing than any I’ve experienced in that realm.
Heis unlike anything I’ve experienced—his unwavering dominance, his expert touch, and especially his unquestionable desire for me. It all combines in a cacophony of sensation—a perfect orgasmic storm. My body feels like it might lose control of all bodily functions in a mass meltdown.
“Shit, Ren. I’m gonna come again. It’s too much. I can’t.”
“You can, and you will. Give me that chaos. Give me every bit of it.”
I’m helpless to deny him.
My body bows to his command, hurdling me into a new dimension of existence where there is no awareness save for pleasure. The orgasm doesn’t merely barrel through me. It incinerates my insides until I’m nothing but ash. The panting, mindless remnants of a woman.
I lay with my ass in the air and soak in the endorphins. I’m so blissed out that I don’t notice the bed shaking until Renzo growls behind me. Warm jets of cum decorate the cooling skin of my ass cheeks.
My initial reaction is twofold: delighted at the look of victorious satisfaction on his face and simultaneously disappointed I didn’t get to feel him thicken inside me in that initial moment of release. I desperately want to be irritated or insulted. He came all over me without any warning, after all. We don’t even have a way to bathe here.
I can’t summon a single ounce of outrage.
And any fight I could have theoretically summoned would have been decimated when he tenderly kisses my hip.
“Stay there. I’ll clean you up.”
I lay flat and wait as he diligently wipes off all traces of himself with a wet towel. When I flip over, he hands me my panties, and I slide them back on.
Now comes the tricky part.
We’ve crossed that line and have to figure out what it means going forward.
“This doesn’t have to change anything,” I say quietly. It’s my one last-ditch effort to protect myself from the inevitable crash landing I see coming my way because I’m not simply falling for the man. I dove in headfirst.
Renzo leans over and gently sweeps a strand of hair off my forehead. “You’re right. Nothing has to change if we don’t want it to.” His touch and words seem like they’re supposed to be reassuring, but his stare is so frigid it burns. A stab of pain lances through the center of my heart.
And so it begins.